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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 3:00:45 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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It depends. Some dominants enjoy force play, and if so you would have to do role play or be instructed to resist. Some like some lighthearted brattiness (as opposed to serious resistance play) giving them an 'excuse' for a light hearted play punishment.

I brat only if I'm feeling really secure. So he likes to see that from me, it means I'm doing well emotionally and I'm inviting play. Now if I bratted only when I was angry, then he wouldn't want to see that because it would indicate relationship difficulties.

So, my considered opinion is, it depends. Now if you don't feel you get enough play because you aren't instigating it, then you need to discuss how and when you can ask for it. Which could mean just wandering out in a schoolgirl outfit and telling him you didn't do your homework. Whatever works for the two of you.

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Post #: 21

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 3:53:32 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability?

Obedience with grace!!.... Nothing I more please to me than that. As far as boredom.... If I am bored.. that is my fault not my girls..... I make the choices and set the rules.... If I want to have a little excitment... I have the power to make it happen.. i just have to choose to do it.

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Post #: 22

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 3:54:38 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Do you have any sisters?

mmmmmmm yes... that is a very good question.... as long as they are alot like her!

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Post #: 23

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 3:58:33 PM

CalifChick

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From: California
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Some of my vanilla friends are in long-term relationships, and they don't argue. Ever. They calmly discuss differences of opinion, but never argue. None of them have ever expressed a worry that they were boring their spouses by not causing strife.

Methinks someone is overthinking.

Cali

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Post #: 24

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 4:29:43 PM

hejira92

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From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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I have asked Master the same question, many times. Like you, I thrive on pleasing Him; His happiness is more important to me than my own (sounds idyllic, but it really is).

He tells me that boring and me will never be in the same sentence- He would much rather spend His time playing with His fine-tuned toy than having to fix it. He says He doesn't want a brat and "we'll have none of that."

If your master is satisfied, everything is good. One thing I've learned, and I'm an over-thinker on a global scale, is that with a good master, you don't have to worry about whether you are pleasing him- he will let you know, in no uncertain terms, if you are not. Just one of the benefits of a D/s relationship- no guessing.

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Post #: 25

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 4:45:38 PM

dominusservae

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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Obedience is wonderful. I want no part of brats. I do like feisty women but I have no interest in "punishment". If I want to take a cane to your bottom, it is because I enjoy playing with erotic pain and the intense pain/pleasure it can create along with the trip into endorphin sub-space it can send you on. You don't have to misbehave to get that kind of attention from me.

Have you asked your master? What does he say? If he is happy, then stop worrying.
T.

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 26

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 5:06:22 PM

MasterFireMaam

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If you're happy and, importantly, if he's happy, what does it matter?

Master Fire

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Post #: 27

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:16:48 PM

femmetasia

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A heatfelt thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond. You have all been far more helpful than i imagined possible. i'm left scratching my head and wondering, what exactly was it i was so concerned about in the midnight hour when i originally posted this.

i suppose i was working on the "squeaky wheel gets all the attention" theory, and that (for me) would be an absolute disservice to my Master. My Master's hand laid gently upon my head when i have pleased him, fills me with a serentiy like no other. So why act out to gain adverse attention? Doesn't make an iota of sense to me now the sunlight is streaming through the windows.

Yep, i think too much!

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Post #: 28

RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 10:08:19 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
It depends. Some dominants enjoy force play, and if so you would have to do role play or be instructed to resist. Some like some lighthearted brattiness (as opposed to serious resistance play) giving them an 'excuse' for a light hearted play punishment.

I brat only if I'm feeling really secure

This kind of brattyness I enjoy as well, but also usually done when I'm in a good mood, ready and willing to take him down. I never thought about force play before this cutie started telling me how nice, and sweet, and agreeable I was, and that I'd never hurt him. Than I proceeded to make him cry, it was lovely.

quote:

Now if I bratted only when I was angry, then he wouldn't want to see that because it would indicate relationship difficulties.

Agreed, and I suppose I was responding to this type of brattyness; when one intentionally disobeys, without prior discussion/permission, just to get a reaction. In this case, I would tend to want to stop, and talk about what the issue is rather than play. M

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Post #: 29

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 1:17:15 AM

DannyDemanding

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Joined: 11/20/2008
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I will add this...

If I had a sub as perfectly behaved as you seem to be, and if I found that boring in some way, I am certainly creative enough to find ways around it. As an example...

"I need to start eating better. Make sure meals are nice and healthy, will you?"
Then, the next day, when you ask me what I want for dinner, I'd request a big, fat cheeseburger.
Voila - you're in a no-win situation and I'll enjoy warming your sweet backside - no matter how you decide to handle it.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 30

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 6:35:14 AM

rabinyaZharovna

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Joined: 4/6/2008
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I absolutely understand why you were wonderring about this because I wonderred over it in the beginning with my Master. I don't need to be disciplined... I need to be whipped and used for his glory, but not for discipline... I do however need to know that discipline will be metted out if I cross lines. In the beginning that was well established, not because I ever intentionally broke rules, but it would happen just because I was learning... learning his expectations etc. In part my quickness to be obedient to him was because I thrive on striving for such and in part it was because when he did discipline me I never ever walked away thinking... hmm tasty, or huh, was that it? No, it was more like okay, omg.. doooon't do that again... eeeever, ever, ever, eeeever! But that was good, it was what I needed and it caused me to fold into obedience quickly. Then I had to wonder though if the fact that I wasn't challenging would be boring to him... but he explained that it was what he sought, one of the things he found wonderful about me. After all he could either be whipping me for having displeased him or be whipping me for pleasure and while he had no qualms with the first, he vastly prefferred the latter :)
rz{Ph0enixF1re}

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Post #: 31

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 7:05:32 AM

desiredfantasy

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/14/2007
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femmetasia. i would like to thank you for your posting. it has been a concern of mine for years. i am a slave without a doubt. i take pride in that. my happiness is to do anything and everything my Master would ask of me without question. i know i am not perfect; but my ultimate goal in my relationships is to be as obedient as possible. again, thank you for reading my mind.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 32

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 7:16:15 AM

Denae

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Joined: 5/23/2008
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Great question... i have struggled with this, too! i even sometimes intend to misbehave... and then get caught up in that voice and can't seem to do anything but what He asks!

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Post #: 33

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 8:07:03 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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The issue of this qusetion is part of what the Dominant that i serve is looking for when He plays with others besides me. i , like you OP, am very obedient and want His life to be happy and fulfilled, and i require little to no correction and am not a challenge at all. So at times, He plays with someone who is a challenge, so as to get some of the "force" dynamic or play. However, He does not want a brat, wouldn't have a brat in His life on a continual basis and doesn't want me to become a brat. He gets that "need" met through play that He has with others, so that He only deals with a brat on a limited basis.

heartfelt

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Post #: 34

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 8:09:44 AM

persephonee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

lol Pradriag, on the surface it doesn't seem like a conundrum at all but the question remains...and the answer is...i'm hiding my sisters!

See, now that was just bratty.

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Post #: 35

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 9:15:09 AM

Sircolt

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
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If your looking to please him, as I can see you are, Why dont you ask him if it would please him to wear his marks (wether they last for a few minutes, or for a few days)....if your warmed crimson bottom would stir him to want to take it ( take you). I have a very obedient slave, and want her no other way, but I do so love watching her admire my hand print or the lick of my whip on her sensual bottom or thigh. I have rarely punished her physically for mis doings. The dissapointment she feel in me has a much more positive effect in correcting any wrong doings.
But I can't deny, that binding her, making her feel pleasure through my control and ownership, makes me want to take her down from my cross and ravish her.... her body cannot lie in what I find when I take her after we have a loving session.
In conclusion, the answer is no. Her obedience and natural submissiveness is far from boring to me, but just the opposite. It is alluring and stirs me to take from her what is mine

Colt

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 36

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 2:01:26 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

He plays with someone who is a challenge, so as to get some of the "force" dynamic or play.

Ok... lets break a myth here..... Force or Primal Play is not about being Bratty or Disobedient. Secondly... a Obedient Slave or Submissive can be just as Challenging as a Disobedient Slave or Submissive... the challenges are just Different that is all. If a Dominant or Master is having difficulty finding challenge with the slave or submissive... THAT is the fault of the Dominant or Master and NOT the slave or submissive.

I have been known to do alot of forced or primal play... but my girls are also highly obedient. In fact... Obedience is nothing more than obeying an instructions or command. An obedient slave or submissive will obey.. and that means adopting X behavior to obey the instruction or command. In general.. In play... my girls are required to act on any thougths that pop into there mind. They are very specifically required not to dwell or consider them. To do so would actually be disobedient.. Highly so. As result... I get some very interesting raw primal play scenes all of which are done out of obedience.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 37

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 2:55:27 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I have been known to do alot of forced or primal play... but my girls are also highly obedient. In fact... Obedience is nothing more than obeying an instructions or command. An obedient slave or submissive will obey.. and that means adopting X behavior to obey the instruction or command. In general.. In play... my girls are required to act on any thougths that pop into there mind. They are very specifically required not to dwell or consider them. To do so would actually be disobedient.. Highly so. As result... I get some very interesting raw primal play scenes all of which are done out of obedience.

*sigh* Now THAT is Hot!

... Just one more reason why I admire you and your girls so much....

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Post #: 38

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 3:41:06 PM

kiwisub12

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I am an obedient submissive - and that is just the way my Sir likes it! He would rather play with me, than have to punish me - so we play.

As he has repeatedly said - he doesn't want a 3 year old in the house - he wants an adult!

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Post #: 39

RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 3:56:27 PM

DavanKael

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I view obedience as wholly different from spirited, challenging playfulness. :>
In the context of a healthy relationship, I do not believe that one can be too obedient.
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 11/24/2008 3:57:06 PM >

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Post #: 40

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