Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Too obedient?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Too obedient? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 4:40:11 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Welcome...

... now gimme your sisters!


Ahh if I but only had a sister to give you!

Dreamer

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 5:32:38 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer
Ahh if I but only had a sister to give you!

Dreamer


just give him a blow up doll and pass it off as your sister.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 5:47:10 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		i dont think he'd fall for that...but if that happens i wanna watch!!!!

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 6:02:46 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Persephonee, I want ringside seats with you.  Hope you share the popcorn.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 6:04:57 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		you know ill share more than that wichu....hotstuff.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 6:34:05 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Some of my favorite words to hear are good girl.  Won't be hearing that if I'm a brat.

_____________________________



(in reply to femmetasia)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 7:26:23 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability? 


No. It's perfect. For some of us, anyway.

Some people may enjoy disobedience and such, and I might enjoy it in a session with someone, but as a lifestyle it would simply be annoying, and cause me to either abandon the pursuit of that relationship, or institute corrective measures (aka behavioral modification). There are times when disobedience can be tolerated, or even welcomed, because of external circumstances (disregarding an order to let me have 5 hours of unbroken sleep because a fire has broken out in the house, for example), but as a general rule, disobedience is not something I would tolerate for long in a lifestyle relationship.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to femmetasia)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 8:45:53 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

you know ill share more than that wichu....hotstuff.


(grins) then forget Padriag and his blow up doll and just come on over!  You can be my partner in crime at SB.  That way I won't have to go alone!

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 9:08:43 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

i suppose i was working on the "squeaky wheel gets all the attention" theory, and that (for me) would be an absolute disservice to my Master.  My Master's hand laid gently upon my head when i have pleased him, fills me with a serentiy like no other.  So why act out to gain adverse attention?  Doesn't make an iota of sense to me now the sunlight is streaming through the windows.

Yep, i think too much! 

 

Hello femmetasia,

I'm coming into the actual discussion a bit late, and I apologize for the slight derail earlier.  You ask a very charming and heartfelt question that speaks very beautifully of how much thought you put into your service to your Master. 

I too have shared your thoughts on 'the squeaky wheel'.  Anyone who has attended a public play party (or even a private one), and watched the bratty/SAMmy individual being the focus of attention, or the delight many dominants exhibit in chasing them and conquering them, it is easy to get the impression that such behavior is valued or preferred.  I would go so far as to say, for some it is a big turn on, and a thing to be desired.  Thankfully, that is not the case for all!

The grace in service, and devotion of thought you present in your original post, is a beautiful thing that I find worthy of great admiration.  Do not worry over much.  As my friend Gwyn keeps reminding me, when it is right, it is right.  Don't buy trouble for yourself.
 
All the warmest wishes for continued bliss,

WinD




< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 11/24/2008 9:11:04 PM >

(in reply to femmetasia)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Too obedient? - 11/24/2008 11:02:01 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

Sometimes i wonder if the way we glide along so effortlessly is entirely good.  There is no "thrill of the chase" with me, cos i am already His.  No "punishment" because i am so well behaved. 

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability? 

Truthfully i've considered bratty behaviour to get attention, but it is so not me.  




Your kidding right???  Are you nucking futs.  My girl of a long time is just as you describe...  In other words she is a keeper.

Bratty behaviour don't do it.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to femmetasia)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 1:39:41 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		i think being disobedient for the attention seeking has to be a pain for the D - to be with a D that wishes you to misbehave in order to punish would get confusing and strain a submissives normal tendency to please.

there are brats out there, of course, who enjoy that dynamic and all power to their elbow if they find a D who is as much into that as they are.  but to be something youre not just isnt viable in the long term.

i do know what you mean, but i think about it this way. by being someone who is wired to please and give and be obedient means you are a sub he can enjoy for all of the right reasons, interract with on a physical/mental/psychological level to a much greater depth than just swimming around the brat/punishment pool - forever trying to herd her up, beating her for an infraction she'll probably repeat in a day or two - i have to say i dont think thats D/s.

i wouldnt describe myself as a brat, but i can spin off into my own little world to please myself, its a 'freedom/space' thing i find really hard to kick and i sometimes dont pay attention properly and im always chaotic.  these need to be controlled, for sure, when it happens, or it would spiral off into loss of control completely, but it isnt something i engineer to get myself into trouble on purpose - thats role playing in my book, manipulation (which is worse and awful and id hate it and myself if that were the case) - im just me - youre you - its how we are - and thats fine if our D's are happy.

< Message edited by lally3 -- 11/25/2008 1:43:40 AM >

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 2:44:16 AM   
femmetasia


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		OMG everyone THANKS!    i'm so glad i asked...at the time i pondered whether it would seem like a stupid question, only to discover some of you have asked yourselves the same question, while others have been thoroughly supportive, while yet again some of you have made me laugh (laughter being almost as good as sex i believe...but i'd have to check in with my sisters for their opinion). 

@WinsomeDefiance, you have really hit the nail on the head about public play and the bratty/SAMmy individual getting all the attention and i think this is where all my recent temporary loss of confidence stems from.  in a public play situ i always do my best to make my Master proud..from my behaviour to my clothing, but sometimes sitting obediently by his feet while bad behaviour seems to get all the applause reminds me that while i am proud to be His slave in all that it means to me,  i am at the end of the day only human in my frailties.  The point you made really helped. 

Thanks also to everyone else. 

_____________________________

I bend, but I do not break - Jean de La Fontaine

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 5:45:34 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

OMG everyone THANKS!    i'm so glad i asked...at the time i pondered whether it would seem like a stupid question, only to discover some of you have asked yourselves the same question, while others have been thoroughly supportive, while yet again some of you have made me laugh (laughter being almost as good as sex i believe...but i'd have to check in with my sisters for their opinion). 

@WinsomeDefiance, you have really hit the nail on the head about public play and the bratty/SAMmy individual getting all the attention and i think this is where all my recent temporary loss of confidence stems from.  in a public play situ i always do my best to make my Master proud..from my behaviour to my clothing, but sometimes sitting obediently by his feet while bad behaviour seems to get all the applause reminds me that while i am proud to be His slave in all that it means to me,  i am at the end of the day only human in my frailties.  The point you made really helped. 

Thanks also to everyone else. 


I'm glad I could help! And yes, laughter is AS good as sex, sometimes.  Intimacy, Sex, Spankings and Laughter - my prescribed road to bliss...

(in reply to femmetasia)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 6:47:49 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

[...] the delight many dominants exhibit in chasing them and conquering them[...]


Conquering, certainly.

Discovering that the conquest was unsuccessful or a deception, no.

At an event / play party, you might not have time to find that out, however.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 10:58:44 AM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

i confess, i don't really have a bratty bone in my body.  i take pride in my obedience and i don't give my Dom much cause for correction/instruction, much less punishment.  Making His life as trouble free within my power as possible is paramount to me.

Sometimes i wonder if the way we glide along so effortlessly is entirely good.  There is no "thrill of the chase" with me, cos i am already His.  No "punishment" because i am so well behaved. 

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability? 

Truthfully i've considered bratty behaviour to get attention, but it is so not me. 

OMG, sending this before i lose my courage. 




Bratty behavior does not and will not ever fly with me. If you want more attention, ask for it. Respectfully, of course. Better yet, beg for it. My girl has done so and to me it's a very submissive act that actually arouses me. Your Master will appreciate you opening up to him and letting him know what you need. And come on...Who doesn't like to see their girl beg?



_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to femmetasia)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 11:12:48 AM   
Celene


Posts: 158
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

I hate a bratty slave.  I want to pilot a Ferrari, not manhandle a broken down chevy with a loose steering wheel.

I don't do punishment spanking.   If I truly wanted to punish a submissive, I might require her to push her limits, or to abstain from her favorite food. 

But I like to spank.   There are many different kinds of spankings.  I use it as part of role-playing.  I use it as a non-verbal communication (When I spank you, get me a drink.) There is even something called a 'maintance' spanking - done just because it's Sunday.


Ditto!
Brats are neither desired nor tolerated. I do love the discussion you've begun and a lot of the great answers in this thread.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 6:50:54 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Punishment is one of those terms that people rarely use in its genuine sense; I have found that its mention serves better as a warning sign than as anything else.

Really, I don't think many of my potential play partners would consent to being punished, for the simple reason that a punishment- in my book- is something that attaches an aversion to the act, or which provides cathartic release for the guilt associated with having committed the offense. In essence, punishment can't really stay within the usual limits, unless you are able to deliver it in a swift and surprising manner (which usually causes the prefrontal cortex «-» vetral tegmentum «-» nucleus accumbens circuit to register it as a strong aversive stimulus, even if it would normally be a positive experience when not surprised by it) without a follow-up that might recast it in a good light. That is hardly something that is enjoyable for either party.

Neither is it necessarily the best tool for behavioral modification, either.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Celene)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 7:02:00 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		This is a major concern for me.

I'm the type who tries her best to be as obedient as possible. The very thought of being anything less kills me. I want my Master to be proud/happy for me. I want to be useful to him, not a burden. I want to make his life easier, not harder.

I've been with men in the past who thought I was some kind of challenge due to my past or what they've heard of me only to find out that really, I'm sorta a boring person. I don't party, I am not wild, I'm not a partier, I am not a SAM or a brat, I'm not a challenge.

He commands, I do.

But I'm worried at times that he'll get bored with me. Does one throw him a fastball once in awhile to keep him on his toes? The idea of such makes me cringe.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Too obedient? - 11/25/2008 7:54:54 PM   
femmetasia


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		@littlewonder, in the light of all the wonderful responses here, i think you have very little to worry about.  Indeed in would appear obedience without games is highly prized, as i'm sure you are by your Master.

@Aswad, "vetral tementum"???  Wow, where is my medical dictionary? i can see and appreciate the point you are making though.

Honey catches more flies than vinegar as my granny used to say.

_____________________________

I bend, but I do not break - Jean de La Fontaine

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Too obedient? - 11/26/2008 1:07:15 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		i wonder if its the latent fear of being a doormat that burrows deep.

i really do identify with this too.  but when i think about it, thoughts of vanilla relationships that went sour because i was so accepting and non-demanding of some really bad behaviour from guys who, because i wouldnt/didnt object and simply put up with stuff treated me worse as a result - walked on me basically (doormat incarnate).

also, i look around me at the relationships (amongst vanillas) because they predominate and it seems to me its the feisty women who know what they want and how to get it who tend to keep their men.  rows flare, the air is cleared, they have great sex and move on.

personally i hate rows, i hate bad feelings, i hate feeling bad, i hate making someone i care about feel bad.  if i do something wrong it is never done in the spirit of challenging their authority (if their authority is absolute over me anyway) - i see bratting as doing exactly that.  its stepping out of your place and rattling his cage for the wrong reasons.

if you ever did do that youd feel so awful youd probably never do it again - so dont bother in the first place is my suggestion.

and anyway - how can a D get bored with a subbie who will do all that he asks - if he needs to 'up the anti' then surely he'd make your sessions edgier or come up with some dastardly plan to ruffle your happy, settled feathers.  its a two way street and i think for a subbie to think 'i need to shake this up a bit' is taking far too much responsiblity and coming up with completely the wrong answer.

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to femmetasia)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Too obedient? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094