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RE: Too obedient? - 11/26/2008 1:26:50 AM

lally3

Posts: 595
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Punishment is one of those terms that people rarely use in its genuine sense; I have found that its mention serves better as a warning sign than as anything else.

i think punishment is an awful word. its whole 'energy' is negative - criminals get punished (usually, but not always appropriately in this country - another topic entirely and not for here) - children get punished (not CP ever!) for being naughty.

but we are adults, not children or criminals.

all it ever takes for me to know whats in store is a tone in the voice and a look on his face - and what ive done to incur displeasure tends to be a fairly hefty clue too. the word 'punishment' is too kinky for me too, unless its being used kinkily on purpose.

< Message edited by lally3 -- 11/26/2008 1:28:10 AM >

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/26/2008 6:31:01 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

@Aswad, "vetral tementum"??? Wow, where is my medical dictionary? i can see and appreciate the point you are making though.

The medical dictionary will do little good without reading up on what these systems do; it was a comment for those who know, intended to be skipped by the rest (hence summarizing the effect afterwards). But, yeah, if something is supposed to stick, it is necessary to push the buttons that tell the brain to store it as an important fact so that it can weigh in the next time something is being considered. A conscious association isn't nearly as powerful or tangible.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3

Punishment is a suitable word for what it describes. Since tone doesn't carry online, it would be helpful to those of us who mean it literally if those who do not could come up with a descriptive word to differentiate their own meaning from the conventional one, since that avoids issues with people who get into one situation while thinking it's another, and then complaining about lack of honor and integrity in masters these days (tongue in cheek). There is little point in negotiating limits if both parties have radically different ideas of what a limit entails (I know, doms' responsibility and all that, but we fuck up too, so no need for more rope).

Health,
al-Aswad.

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"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/30/2008 4:12:53 AM

hermione83

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Joined: 8/1/2007
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I found someone here because some of the first things he said in his profile was wanting a BRAT and for lovemaking to a be a passionate catfight. :P My last long term person before him, really wanted the fight/force stuff, and I think I became way too concerned with not giving in, and thinking if I do, I won't be desired anymore, though. Even the guy I found here, that said he was wanting that primarily, gets exhausted with my level of brattiness, and wants slightly more submission than brattiness. I just worry about when he wants it, and if he means it when he orders me to do something or if I'll get laughed at for obeying (he wouldn't do that, I just have irrational fears). I do have a submissive streak, it's just under my "force me" streak - and being forced first does turn me instantly submissive, but until he really does/says something VERY strong, I will be very very stubborn. That is probably very annoying. I think I'm easy, everyone else thinks I'm difficult. So anyway, I guess my point is, that EVERYONE likes obedience who is a D apparently, because men aren't as superheroey as I thought. ;) Submission is sort of healing for me, it's terrifying, and it's hard for me to believe someone wants me to. But then I realize it's burdensome to force me into things, but yet it turns them on.. so.. I dunno, but I've not hit it off with a lot because I require so much effort. MOST Doms would love you so be secure / obedient in general. But, I would also say that most Doms I've come across, but not all, like to be challenged sometimes. I have no clue why. Maybe it's like the opposite of how I feel. What I really thrive on - and I do love love to please him in the ordinary ways and never cause conflict - but more like, the sexual things, and the things that are good/bad for me personally ... if he makes me do something good for me against my will, or forces punishment, etc on me, it makes me feel like I'm helpless and have no control in the relationship, and no matter what stupid things I do, he will know best, and he will take care of me, and he will beat me into submission and make us both feel warm and fuzzy, and he can smack the bad feelings out of me and make us both feel better, and that he won't abandon me. Maybe it makes him feel like he is powerful, and he can actually make me do what he wants, and I can't leave, and he owns me when he does that, and it's not my choice. I think that's good in moderation in D/s. Though the submission thing is very important, and obedience is beautiful=).

< Message edited by hermione83 -- 11/30/2008 4:16:27 AM >

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/30/2008 4:26:31 PM

tweedydaddy

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Boring? You? You couldn't be boring if you wore a cardigan and football socks and read a brief history of time to me while I watched goldfish.
A sub you can predict is a sub you can have ritual fun with, did you think of that when you were needlessly worrying?

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