RE: Age and BDSM

RE: Age and BDSM (Full Version)

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YourhandMyAss -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/24/2008 6:34:05 PM)
Yes. It really does matter to some people the age of their bdsm partner. And personally if we're going to have an emotional connection, it matters 10 times more than if the dom was someone I was casual with. Since the stakes are higher the rules are higher, so to speak. quote: ORIGINAL: DomCT2002 Does it really matte rto many what age a Dom or Submissive is in this lifestyle? I believe fully that, as long as your physically able to perform amd you are capable of supplying what the partner you have wants on a emotional, mental and physical side then age should mean absolutely nothing in this lifestyle. What say folks anyone else agree or disagree?

mummyman321 -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/24/2008 6:38:36 PM)
For me, age does not matter. Though I have typically preferred older Dommes but generally within 10 years of my age. I like to be able to converse with my Domme and have similar topics of interest. I guess this could happen at extreme age ranges it is more likely to happen, the closer the person is in age to you. You grew up watching the same TV shows, seeing the same movies, experiences in school similar. listened to the same music. It gives a common ground to get started from.

moonvine -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/24/2008 7:16:30 PM)
Do people really talk about this stuff? I mean, I have never asked anyone where they were when the Challenger exploded. Are my high school experiences really going to be that similar to someone who grew up in California or Ohio or New Jersey, even if we graduated the same year? I didn't see tons of movies growing up as that's not how I wanted to spend my money, but I'm pretty sure all the ones I watched are now available on DVD...same with most of the TV shows..I just don't see this as an issue...

CalifChick -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/24/2008 7:23:01 PM)
Actually, funny that you mention the Challenger, as someone brought that up in casual conversation just the other day. We talked about how blase' we had gotten about space travel, and how none of us even knew it was going up until it exploded. Yet when we were kids in the late 60's, going to the moon was a HUGE deal. And from there the conversation moved to how much things had changed in the last 10, 20, 30 years and more. Teens who have always had a cell phone, a microwave, dvds, cordless phones (heck, pushbutton phones), color television, etc., well, reading about life without it certainly isn't the same as living it. Cali

Usako -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/24/2008 7:39:40 PM)
Being 23 going on 24 next month, I have to say age matters in a sense. Someone around my age, I know there is a higher chance to have things in common. I will NOT rule out anyone because of their age, persay, but because of the connection. Though I really don't want someone old enough to be my grandfather who I might have to change their diaper so that would probably be some sort of limit. And as for another post, yes common past experience DO matter sometimes. I have had many chit chats with friends or relations that have gone playfully into the past, saying "Oh you remember that show?" or getting a giggle from singing a theme song from some childhood cartoon show. The person who I currently mainly play with at the moment is twice my age but he's a very nice person. We play and hang out and chat and all is fine. Sometimes he talks about his past and I usually just listen since there is no way I can relate to it due to the number of years he's had in his past to do things plus just the different era and things happening. Doesn't mean I don't listen and pick up a thing or two, but it's sort of one sided and not the same as with someone near my age who might have grown up around the same era.

oddjobbery -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 12:00:14 AM)
incidentally, I was two years from being born at the time of the challenger explosion.

moonvine -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 12:03:08 AM)
And I was not yet born when Kennedy was assassinated, but it seems to be no issue for older men who pursue me.

colouredin -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 12:18:59 AM)
FR For some it matters for some not, some assume young people will be inexperianced some assume old people will be stuck in their ways. I know age is a factor for me because I would want to be able to introduce my partner to my family and the older the person is the harder that would be. I talk to people of all ages, age doesnt really make a differance in connection for me, I have always spent time with older people so Im pretty adaptable. But relationships are slightly differant, it would depend on teh type of relationship I am after of course but if its anything long term then it would matter.

oddjobbery -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 12:40:28 AM)
well, i mean, how much older can you get than 42? :D but seriously, the difference between a 42 year old and a 60 year old isn't even close to the difference between a 20 year old and a 38 year old. It's a step through three different worlds, to go from 20 to 38 - 42 to 60, not so much.

moonvine -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 12:44:03 AM)
60 is still old enough to be my father. I'm not sure how you figure 20 to 38 is 3 different worlds....

rulemylife -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:21:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Actually, funny that you mention the Challenger, as someone brought that up in casual conversation just the other day. We talked about how blase' we had gotten about space travel, and how none of us even knew it was going up until it exploded. Yet when we were kids in the late 60's, going to the moon was a HUGE deal. And from there the conversation moved to how much things had changed in the last 10, 20, 30 years and more. Teens who have always had a cell phone, a microwave, dvds, cordless phones (heck, pushbutton phones), color television, etc., well, reading about life without it certainly isn't the same as living it. Cali Living it, then reliving it and reliving it and reliving it yet again. Sort of like when grandpa tells his stories of the good old days when a loaf of bread cost a nickel and he had to walk five miles to school every day.

variation30 -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:28:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: oddjobbery Madam, you wound me and the many other intelligent, well - developed 18 - 25 year olds that exist on this plane. Age is certainly not a prerequisite for intelligence or cranial capacity. I can't relate to older women. I try, but their brains are so well developed that I cannot imagine how they see the world and fail to communicate any of my thoughts with them. I try to tell them about how awesome my batman comicbook collection is but they have none of it. They say I'm not mature enough to understand how stimulating their trip to St. Augustine with the ladies they work with was.

rulemylife -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:31:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin I know age is a factor for me because I would want to be able to introduce my partner to my family and the older the person is the harder that would be. I talk to people of all ages, age doesnt really make a differance in connection for me, I have always spent time with older people so Im pretty adaptable. So then we can conclude that the most important factor in choosing a partner for you is what other people think and whether your choice would embarrass you because of their disapproval.

variation30 -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:39:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix Nothing quite like an immature middle-aged man, is there? Edited to add: John Derek, I meant [:D] an immature man would've grovelled for her to stay.

MsMillgrove -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:41:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: oddjobbery well, i mean, how much older can you get than 42? :D but seriously, the difference between a 42 year old and a 60 year old isn't even close to the difference between a 20 year old and a 38 year old. It's a step through three different worlds, to go from 20 to 38 - 42 to 60, not so much. Great example of the bravado with which a young person will make a statement as though it's a fact everyone knows. There are big differences between each decade of life, and you usually cannnot imagine what they're like until you get there yourself. The first time you go to leap over a fence and find yourself straddling it instead.. you cannot believe this has happened. When your body doesn't do what your mind commands--the shock is a stunner. You have to experience this effect to truly undertand what "aging" means. Even tho I can tell you this, you won't value your youth--no one does. No one realizes how precious these things are 'til they begin to slip. Once a man who was 85, extremely successful and wealthy sat next to me at a dinner party.. and he told me that he so wished he knew how long he would live because he didn't know how to spend his money. "Wish I had that problem", I thought. But now I understand better that it really was a big problem. He also told me that he wished he hadn't wasted so many years mulling over whether or not to marry the lady next door, after his first wife died. He said it was his only regret, that he didn't know how happy they would be together. I've had many similiar conversations with the over-80 set. So your fact isn't as true as you seem to find it. There are big differences between every age set and they're all hard to empathize with until you get there yourself. Let's hope you get the close-up view on a century of life!

sexisubi -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:44:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rulemylife quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin I know age is a factor for me because I would want to be able to introduce my partner to my family and the older the person is the harder that would be. I talk to people of all ages, age doesnt really make a differance in connection for me, I have always spent time with older people so Im pretty adaptable. So then we can conclude that the most important factor in choosing a partner for you is what other people think and whether your choice would embarrass you because of their disapproval. In her defense, family is importent, and when no one else is there for you, your family is. If the family would not want their child to bringing home someone older and cut communication if they did, then i would support the disicion. Friends are the same way, when you get left on the curb the only thing to pick you up is your friends. Some people still live a vanilla life outside of the BDSM one they have behind doors, there is nothing wrong with making a choice for your own well being because right now, the submissive is the one taking care of it... it is not until they fully submit that the Dom takes care of them (and this is also not always the case).. and even then it is importent to know what to do with yourself if it falls through... something happens to the dom... maybe he gets sick, or dies... but your family won't talk to you and your friends abandend you... what do you do then? Is this a choice i would make no, but i think it is a bit silly to assume that someone is looking at how others feel because of a choice they think is best for them in the long run. It might not be a choice made because of the way someone thinks but to secure oneself in the long run, which is crucial, a submissive still needs to know how to be independent and strong. Sometimes we have to make choices with our head not from the heart. Some food for thought i guess.

variation30 -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:45:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moonvine I mean, I have never asked anyone where they were when the Challenger exploded. in a high chair, drooling carrot paste on my bib.

variation30 -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 1:49:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: oddjobbery well, i mean, how much older can you get than 42? :D but seriously, the difference between a 42 year old and a 60 year old isn't even close to the difference between a 20 year old and a 38 year old. It's a step through three different worlds, to go from 20 to 38 - 42 to 60, not so much. Just because you are the same age as someone does not mean you are from the same world they are.

rulemylife -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 2:10:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi quote: ORIGINAL: rulemylife quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin I know age is a factor for me because I would want to be able to introduce my partner to my family and the older the person is the harder that would be. I talk to people of all ages, age doesnt really make a differance in connection for me, I have always spent time with older people so Im pretty adaptable. So then we can conclude that the most important factor in choosing a partner for you is what other people think and whether your choice would embarrass you because of their disapproval. In her defense, family is importent, and when no one else is there for you, your family is. If the family would not want their child to bringing home someone older and cut communication if they did, then i would support the disicion. Friends are the same way, when you get left on the curb the only thing to pick you up is your friends. Some people still live a vanilla life outside of the BDSM one they have behind doors, there is nothing wrong with making a choice for your own well being because right now, the submissive is the one taking care of it... it is not until they fully submit that the Dom takes care of them (and this is also not always the case).. and even then it is importent to know what to do with yourself if it falls through... something happens to the dom... maybe he gets sick, or dies... but your family won't talk to you and your friends abandend you... what do you do then? Is this a choice i would make no, but i think it is a bit silly to assume that someone is looking at how others feel because of a choice they think is best for them in the long run. It might not be a choice made because of the way someone thinks but to secure oneself in the long run, which is crucial, a submissive still needs to know how to be independent and strong. Sometimes we have to make choices with our head not from the heart. Some food for thought i guess. I'm not looking at this in a purely lifestyle perspective. Yes family is important, but I would not let my family blackmail me into a position of going against my beliefs or feelings at the risk of them casting me out. Even more so with friends. I would not consider someone a friend whose friendship with me was determined by whether or not they approved of the choices in my life.

sexisubi -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/25/2008 2:21:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rulemylife Yes family is important, but I would not let my family blackmail me into a position of going against my beliefs or feelings at the risk of them casting me out. Even more so with friends. I would not consider someone a friend whose friendship with me was determined by whether or not they approved of the choices in my life. i was mearly discribing the countless possiblities that could happen when one may be in a situation where age might be a factor. Picture this, you're 20, you bring home a man or woman that is 64 for thanksgiving, your mother is only 60... just for discussion sake, right now in your life... you have not established a career, a real good friend base, (except for that one friend you have from high school that still loves to call your cell phone just to talk about what you did at lunch almost a year ago.) When thinking about relationships sometimes your real life must intertwin... if ones parents are getting older... and in some cercumstances less understanding, (not always the case) but if they want what is best for you there is nothing wrong with you making a choice to protect the ones you love, and who raised you from a baby, It's a sacrifice if you truely cared for the person don't you think? it also protects the person, taking them home as a suprise to mom and dad... might not be too keen unless you tell them thier age first. The shock on your mother face... well forget about cutting the turkey you'll be spending it in the hospital from her heart attack.

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