RE: Service Oriented Submissive

RE: Service Oriented Submissive (Full Version)

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Padriag -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:15:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee Perversity aside, what would a "non service oriented sub be oriented toward then?...if its solely sexual...then wouldnt that be a bedroom submissive? Ironbear hit on one possibility. Another example was a gal who was obedience/structure oriented. She did fine so long as I was there to tell her what to do, how to do it, etc. She loved me being there directly controlling her. However, when I needed to be away doing other things, she didn't show a lot of initiative where service was concerned. I needed a service submissive and she wasn't oriented that way. She probably could have been if I'd had time to set up a structured environment that helped her adapt and develop into one... but I didn't have the time and much friction ensued. Then there was "K" who was both service oriented and pleasure oriented... now there's some warm memories! She was constantly looking for things to do to please me or be of service. She'd make me things, cook something, or if nothing else she'd offer to give me a BJ. I really miss that girl. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s14.gif[/image] Here's more food for thought, just as submissives tend to find different ways to express it... whether it be service, control, obedience/structure or pleasure... dominants similarly fall into different categories regarding what they desire and how they express their dominance. Sometimes when orientations and goals don't match up it can make things more difficult in the relationship because each may be seeking something different from the relationship, if that isn't understood and allowed for you can count on problems.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:17:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone and saying "I'm not service oriented so therefore I don't cook and clean". Actually, we've encountered a -lot- of these folks... "submissive, but don't ask me to do 'chores'... I'm just not into the serving part." Usually, I move these folks into the "bottom" category, but most of them are looking for more than just bottoming... think along the lines of "pets" or "dolls"...

Padriag -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:22:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW Actually, we've encountered a -lot- of these folks... "submissive, but don't ask me to do 'chores'... I'm just not into the serving part." Usually, I move these folks into the "bottom" category, but most of them are looking for more than just bottoming... think along the lines of "pets" or "dolls"... You aren't the only one... seen more than a few as well. I usually put them in the "discard" category myself... course I'm an asshole [:D]

persephonee -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:26:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Just to make it easier to understand some of the serious posts, I'm wondering how many responders here either are in or have been in a Service Oriented sub/slave relationship as either a sub/slave or Dominant.... In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory. Sorry for the delay in answering...and my response might come in handy on this thread as well. my personal experience in submission as a whole is limited in that i am unowned at this time and have never been in an official D/s dynamic as i would define it. In the beginnings of my involvement on this discussion board, i identified as a bottom out of some sort of respect for submissives worldwide...in that, since i had not done it, how could i take that identity and ascribe it to myself without doing it in the past or present. Calling myself a bottom didnt score me any points out there and eventually after learning and interacting, i decided to tentatively call myself submissive. i have 2 regular partners that i interact with quite often and have learned so much from both, but consider them to be very good friends and not "my" dominants. It has been brought to my attention by more than one source that i am more in submission to them than i would necessarily agree with, as none of the members of this group have discussed making anything more "official" than it is...and personally, im good with that. So i have realtime experiences...but not necessarily in any official capacity. In other words, this is my actual life, but i have reservations about defining myself until such a time as i have 'done' what i know i want to 'do'. On that note, i have 'met' people on here that have never had personal experience in real time who know more about wiitwd than some members at the club who have been doing this for decades...so its a tossup. i prefer to do it realtime as opposed to online...but fully understand the motives of others who cant or dont...just not my cuppa tea.

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:27:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW Actually, we've encountered a -lot- of these folks... "submissive, but don't ask me to do 'chores'... I'm just not into the serving part." Usually, I move these folks into the "bottom" category, but most of them are looking for more than just bottoming... think along the lines of "pets" or "dolls"... You aren't the only one... seen more than a few as well. I usually put them in the "discard" category myself... course I'm an asshole [:D] I would agree. I'm a card carrying member myself.[:D]

persephonee -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:31:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW Actually, we've encountered a -lot- of these folks... "submissive, but don't ask me to do 'chores'... I'm just not into the serving part." Usually, I move these folks into the "bottom" category, but most of them are looking for more than just bottoming... think along the lines of "pets" or "dolls"... You aren't the only one... seen more than a few as well. I usually put them in the "discard" category myself... course I'm an asshole [:D] I would agree. I'm a card carrying member myself.[:D] Now, are you both "assholes" or are you just two men who have specific requirements or preferences in partners that preclude you from having patience dealing with those who dont fit into what it is that you need or want?

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:33:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW Actually, we've encountered a -lot- of these folks... "submissive, but don't ask me to do 'chores'... I'm just not into the serving part." Usually, I move these folks into the "bottom" category, but most of them are looking for more than just bottoming... think along the lines of "pets" or "dolls"... You aren't the only one... seen more than a few as well. I usually put them in the "discard" category myself... course I'm an asshole [:D] I would agree. I'm a card carrying member myself.[:D] Now, are you both "assholes" or are you just two men who have specific requirements or preferences in partners that preclude you from having patience dealing with those who dont fit into what it is that you need or want? I'm just having some sport. To answer your question though..for myself..I'd say yes and yes.[:D] If it gets out I'm really a teddybear..I'll be ruined..Don't say nuffin.[:@]

persephonee -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:44:01 AM)
secrets safe with meeeee.....(dont let em tell ya differently)[;)]

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:44:28 AM)
Was that confusing lol

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:53:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee secrets safe with meeeee.....(dont let em tell ya differently)[;)] I'll make sure of it. It's not a matter of patience(although I might have less than others) It's a choice. I know what I want to a T. I know what works best with my personality and have embraced that as a desire in my females. I'm all for the sex and S&M side of service as well. Something about a sweet natured, service orientated female that makes a man's bones ache..at least mine[:D]

RCdc -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:55:37 AM)
Did you know? I love being curled up at his feet, darning socks.[:)] the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:56:38 AM)
But not while he is still wearing them - Darcy wouldn;t want that....[:D] the.dark.

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 11:59:16 AM)
lol. See now I found that sweet and hot all at the same time. The first post not the second.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 12:01:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark But not while he is still wearing them - Darcy wouldn;t want that....[:D] the.dark. Long as they are not rolled up and stuck in his shorts. [;)]

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 12:04:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark But not while he is still wearing them - Darcy wouldn;t want that....[:D] the.dark. Long as they are not rolled up and stuck in his shorts. [;)] From Ironbear: In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory. [:D]

LaTigresse -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 12:04:26 PM)
And some women's. One of the most difficult parts of my last relationship was being rather new and ignorant to all of this and having a "submissive" that only wanted to be submissive in specific areas. While I wanted her to be submissive in all areas. Just the thought of her cleaning or doing ANYTHING that would get her or her Jimmy Choos, dirty......preposterous.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 12:05:17 PM)
quote: : ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain quote: : ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark But not while he is still wearing them - Darcy wouldn;t want that.... the.dark. Long as they are not rolled up and stuck in his shorts. See now, here I was thinking "Oh, cool... needle play!!!"

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 12:09:26 PM)
Yeah that's the whole square peg thing that was talked about earlier. I did that as well for the longest time when I first came into it as well. I don't do that anymore. If we aren't compatible in certain areas we aren't gonna work. I accept that and move on Maybe a little frustrated but I move on nonetheless.

Icarys -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 12:10:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: : ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain quote: : ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark But not while he is still wearing them - Darcy wouldn;t want that.... the.dark. Long as they are not rolled up and stuck in his shorts. See now, here I was thinking "Oh, cool... needle play!!!" Lol

Padriag -> RE: Service Oriented Submissive (11/25/2008 12:14:46 PM)
ROFL Funny stuff FR... Like Icarys, I know what I want. Its not that I lack patience, but more that I just don't see the point in spending time on something I know won't work out. With someone I believe things are likely to work out, I can be very patient. Likewise I tend to be very patient with someone who is trying their best, but very impatient with anything less than that (half assed efforts tend to piss me off).

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