quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

You are probably correct BitaTruble.
Someone asks me to give verification, girl should say: 'My apologies mistress, girl does not have verification at this time.' Just shrug it off if they want to have nothing more to do with me, it's not the end of the world. Probably would not have enjoyed being their girl anyways.
Girl knows who she is and girl really has no one to prove anything to, but girl's own Miss.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Are they really lying about their past, or merely trying to keep the fact they might have been a boy from becoming a girl or the girl becoming a boy, and wanting to be accepted for what they really should have been.
One argument is that you are born one way and thus should remain such as you are even if it makes that individual in question miserable, self-destructive and generally alone in the world because they just do not fit into the world. Guess they should just find the darkest shadow and disappear. Let those that accept who they are because peer pressure and society demands it continue with their lives unabated.

Isaac Asimov, I believe, did write about a neutral gender.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
As someone who struggled with this issue as there was someone who is transgendered who years ago I considered dating, there is just a difference.  Not only that, but the way an actual vagina responds cannot be duplicated by science and to me, that is part of what I enjoy

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If a transgendered person can choose to be with someone then someone else can certainly choose not to be with them.  If they simply have a "next" sign on their forehead then they are at least not being hypocritical.  Or they could go and choose to be with another transgendered but most want a "real" partner to accept their "not real" self.

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  stella41b
If you thought that being passable and not disclosing would get you through, I'm hoping that these responses from the non-transgendered folk here - and trust me these are pretty frank but mild, will disabuse you of that illusion right away.

You've spent 18 years in domestic service, I'm not too sure how far you've got in your transition, but take it from me, you've been cocooned in a safe haven, and like it or not you've got to start standing on your own two feet and counting on only yourself. Being able to do this with some degree of independence is the acid test for gender reassignment, I think (off the top of my head) it's called the Harry Benjamin standard of care. If you were in the UK you would need to go through a Real Life Test for 2 years or so and change your name and live as a woman 24/7 in order to qualify for treatment.

You've got to start waking up to reality.. Now you are seeking a Mistress, but how much do you need that Mistress, and why? To support you? Very few women will be willing to do this in a D/s dynamic, unless you've signed up for total slavery, most domestic jobs involve kids, not D/s, they're vanilla, and you're not only competing with an awful lot of women.

Like you I'm a domestic service submissive, I started out that way, but I have also held vanilla domestic cleaning jobs and been paid up to £10 an hour for my work. I've done secretarial work office work, and I was busy gathering all these skills and experience before I even attempted to go through the transition.

But Aszhrae, you're doing this for you, nobody else, and like it or not you cannot change the world or change society just like that. Yes, it's me Stella being a bit of a hypocrite here, I'm established in theatre and gender and sexual orientation is my mission, my cause, because I have stood up to people, the Church and organizations in the past and spoken out - not just for me, but for everyone. However realistically I know that the chances are I'm going to be dead before any of these changes take place. Right now I will settle for a decent sized audience and a long running production.
But it's like MasterFireMaam says, forget about those people who reject you, forget about the negative - gender reassignment is stressful, traumatic, and painful, you need to focus on the positive and look for people who accept you, anyone.

You don't need a Mistress, you need a support network, you need friends, you need family, you need that support because without it it's going to be very tough, and I'm speaking as someone who is getting through my own transition without much support here with me.

Coming here is a step in the right direction, and I will personally vouch for everyone here, these people are supportive, they;ve been supporting me for well over a year now, and many of them write to me on the other side. I don't want to rattle off names, but the list is long and I can't even count the times when something has been said which has helped, taught me something, or simply brightened my day.

But you need that support real time, there where you are, and you need to start developing and building that support network.

There's a ratio which is pretty direct, and that ratio is the less intimate the contact the more open and supportive other people are of people who are transgendered. There are people who aren't transgendered who do understand and who are prepared to understand and support you, to stand by you, and you need to be finding them.

Transitioning or living independently as transgendered is easier in bigger cities, you may need to move to one. The very minimum you need is a room and I would advise you to have a computer with access to the Internet.

If you want to PM me on the other side please feel free to do so. I can see what I can do. No promises, but I can try. I have family in Toronto, not sure how far that is away from you.

You need to ditch the anger and resentment. Nobody's interested. Trust me. People have got their own issues to cope with, nobody is going to make space for you or treat you as a special case just because you're transgendered.

Make sure also you've got the support of the medical profession, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, and/or a trans-friendly counsellor. This is vitally important, because in a previous posting you described what I assume is anxiety attacks and panic attacks, these things need monitoring and professional help and management.

As for a relationship it's possible, but it's not a given. I would say it's a minority of transgendered folk who go on to form successful relationships with someone non-transgendered, especially if it is sexual. It is possible to find a Mistress, but it's not as easy as not being transgendered. Frankly speaking your best chances are among the bisexuals and trans-friendly lesbians, but not all lesbians are trans-friendly. Some are, because there's no PMS, no risk of pregnancy, and there are people who are attracted to the transgendered mindset and even gynandrophiles, people who are attracted to the transgendered.

Get yourself a hobby, go do voluntary work, throw yourself into society and keep throwing yourself into society. You will never ever be completely isolated from society except through your own choice - remember that - you are human just like the rest of society.

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ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

But there is certainly a D/s dynamic that tends towards the genetically born as you are and not the surgical altered result.
Does it really matter if you were born one way and are another way?

And you just shot them out of the sky with wanting a genetically pure girl or boy. Asking for verification, may be your screening method, might imply that they are not good enough for you.

Dominants want to be trusted by their sub/slave, and yet, by requesting verification, its obvious, they don't trust the sub/slave that is more than likely to think of their dominant as the whole world.

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ORIGINAL: ftmyersartist

How can you expect others to accept your choices in life unless you are equally willing to accept theirs?

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ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: ftmyersartist

How can you expect others to accept your choices in life unless you are equally willing to accept theirs?

I can accept somebody being transgendered without wanting to be involved with them in a relationship.
 
To be honest, i would not have an issue having a girl/girl  relationship or just sex with a transgendered male to female. But for a choice in a dominant, it will always be a biological male biker, period.
 
 I can accept Honda riders to, but that does not mean i'd be willing to date one, because i would not be.
 
What would cause me to run, not walk away from a potential partner when i was looking, is if the put themselves forward as a Harley rider/owner and when i showed up i discovered they were in fact a Honda rider/owner.
 
Same deal for the transgendered, if a potential partner is led to believe you are a biological female then later discovers you are not, i can see them walking away.
 
 Where if you had been upfront then the person who you'd be relating to would be someone who accepted, encouraged, supported, believed in your choices.
 
Be upfront always about who/what you are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

No one other than my doctor and lawyer knew, until now.
Might also want to add, girl has never considered her self trans until now either, but girl is sure that now everyone else does, since girl started this thread.
Just would like to also add, girl has been and always will be a submissive, both in service and in discipline. Girl knows her place and it's kneeling at the feet of a mistress with head bowed with a black and blue butt, loving every second of it.