quote:

No heavy pain...

No public play---

No bi-sexuality...

No marks...

Monagamy...

Seeking financially independent, smart, mature, unattached male between 45-55, with no baggage, no history, who will not challenge any of my limits, who will only agree with me, who will be sensitive to my sensitivity and not make me cry, who accepts my intolerance, my lack of understanding, and my lack of appreciation for any perspective, any experience, or any challenge contrary to what I KNOW is true.

Yep, Merc & Beth this is what I get too.

Pink, I don't see you finding your "ONE", because I don't think he exists anywhere but in your elitist imagination. "High Monogamy", give us a break....Even if you found someone to live up to your high demands, I don't see you but being anything but suspicious of his every move and doubting his every word, ya, then see how long you would keep your "One". Maybe you should think of being the Domme yourself, then you could control everything.
Reading your profile for the first time yesterday, I found all "your" demands a total turn off and I would think any Dom reading it would too.

You talk of all these things you would need to sustain a relationship in this lifestyle, yet you have not even experienced the lifestyle in any way in real life, WTF do you really know about WIITWD, and how it should pertain to your life, you have no experience in it.

Another thread, made to draw attention, where you will take in no information outside of your own beliefs anyway and remain closed to other's wisdom, who have lived real life experiencing WIITWD.

Seriously, I don't see you ever living the lifestyle in real life. You don't have the trust compacity for it and for another you want what you want and relationships are built with
communication and compromise. And I see you "Highly" lacking in both these areas.

I think you are living a one-sided fantasy WIITWD world and it would never in real life be what you expect.
Maybe it would be wiser for you to prepare yourself for being alone the rest of your life and get a grip on reality. There would be much less "suffering", complaining, and living for a fantasy that will never come true.

quote:

No. when i gave myself to Him i gave myself to Him entirely, mind body & soul, sounds cliche but that's the way it's been for us - i was very choosy about whom i submitted to but once i did find the right one i let go of all hang ups, limits, etc... because there was trust there and unmeasurable love,respect, devotion, loyalty...All in all, candy, to each their own, continue your search and don't astray from what it is you search for, once you do find the right one for you, you will be glad you didn't settle for another.

sweet whisper

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

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Why is it necessary to claim your form of monogamy is superior: High Monogamy?

Everyone else is below you?

Why not something like "Strict" or "Restrictive" that doesn't include an inherent value judgement?

I have trouble believeing a lawyer didn't do this by accident.

JohnWarren

Seems i have imperiled many friendships because of a poor choice of words. i can explain (in private) why i'm on low energy...and High Monogamy was the terminology my girlfriends and i used in Florida...it is not meant to suggest superiority; but rather extra dedication.

Let me off with some corner time, John. i like You too much to lose a friendship this way.

candystripper[/font][/size][/color]

quote:

We each express ourselves in various ways; sometimes I get angry, upset, and just downright rude with certain posts; other times, I just take it in stride and smile my way through it. But I always try to listen, read, and hear what someone else is trying to say, even when their words do not always express that. :)

IrishMist

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I don't think anyone is critical of your preference. I think what you are seeing is criticism of and reaction to your presentation. If what you want is "high" then does it mean that anything that doesn't coincide with your preference is "low"?

You make it very easy to assume you are judgemental even while giving non-judgementalism proper lip service. Examples would be calling your own preferences "high," reacting vehemently as "no way, no how" if someone even asks if you are bi or curious, assuming that people who share their own preferences with you is them telling you how you should be. Your justifications for not being poly or bi smack of condescension, not personal preference. I liken it to the individual who proclaims their support of desegregation but secretly harbors eversion to mixed couples or wouldn't think of living in a mixed neighborhood (even if they can't admit it to themself). That is your presentation, as I see it.

Granted, it's assumption but that is what I see folks responding to; and then I see you react defensively to their reactions. Nice little drama game with you in complete control. Of course, we could affectionately call it "debate" but why sugar coat it?

Personally, I would never be more than an acquiantance of someone with your mindset. It's not that I have anything personally against you, you seem to be quite intelligent and articulate, certainly erudite; it's just that your view is too narrow for me. (Now, didn't that sound judgemental when in fact I was only stating a personal preference?)

See what I mean?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
Nice little drama game with you in complete control. Of course, we could affectionately call it "debate" but why sugar coat it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

excuse the fire i felt on your original response then pink.

YES straight woman can be part of bdsm,,,I am STRAIGHT, i have never been w/ another woman in my life sexually and inviting one into play w/ Masteer doesnt have to include physicla intimacy....but you seemed to have missed that point.
i can top in public a woman .....in a scene w/ master and myself...no sex, not touching ,just pure mental and whipping, restraining under masters direction....


perhaps you meant *others* in general and not me.....

(as to the rest, no hit n run pink...words still stand on past threads,)

so lets not hijack/and loose this thread, as it can be quite valuable lets just go back to that peaceful place

fyreredsub

Thank you for the compliment on the Op. i must tell you, the behaviors you describe exceed the bounds of monogmy as i use the word. Doesn't make them wrong; and you can go on calling yourself monogamous if you choose, but i would not act as you would...and variety should be a good thing here.

candystripper

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serving,being owned by and collared to one Master is monogomous,
in every sense of the word
as to the rest we can agree to disagree....works for me....

fyreredsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

serving,being owned by and collared to one Master is monogomous,
in every sense of the word
as to the rest we can agree to disagree....works for me....

quote:

In an attempt to actually focus on the thread I actually disagree with this. I think being owned and collared (or whatever physical reflection of being owned thats chosen) is very different from being monogamous. Monogamy and polyamory have to do with who you are being sexually or emotionally intimate with.

I do think being a slave, the more flexible you are in terms of sexual orientation and polyamory, the better it'll lend you to being owned by someone over the years. People change, and the roads that an owner may want to go down will change all of the time, so just like non-sexual skills and flexibility are a good trait, so are flexibility in the sexual arena

Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

So, if i respond i am a drama queen. If i do not respond, i should hang my head in shame for offending people unintentionally. Nice trap. O, and the parting shot about denying me your friendship because i'm too "narrow-minded" was just so slick.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Then i suppose my attitude towards monogamy and bisexuality in women would make me a shabby slave......we'll have to wait and see whether enslavement ever happens.

candystripper

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There was a flurry of posts on another thread, "Straight Woman Blues" about monogamy and it became apparent communication was breaking down in part because people did not use the word "monogamy" to mean the same thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

serving,being owned by and collared to one Master is monogomous,
in every sense of the word
as to the rest we can agree to disagree....works for me....

In an attempt to actually focus on the thread I actually disagree with this. I think being owned and collared (or whatever physical reflection of being owned thats chosen) is very different from being monogamous. Monogamy and polyamory have to do with who you are being sexually or emotionally intimate with.

I do think being a slave, the more flexible you are in terms of sexual orientation and polyamory, the better it'll lend you to being owned by someone over the years. People change, and the roads that an owner may want to go down will change all of the time, so just like non-sexual skills and flexibility are a good trait, so are flexibility in the sexual arena.

C~

quote:

I truly wish I too could have a monogomous relationship but my life partner is not willing to do some of the things that I need.

I wish you all the best in your search for your One.

OscarHargreaves

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwhisper

candy ~

i respect your choices and desires - i will say this however, i spent many years being a "cyber slave" lol, i mean chatting online, message boards, reading about bdsm, visiting websites, etc... and i had a list of limits and thought i knew exactly what i wanted and what i didn't want - the reality is however, that until you actually do try it, in real time, you don't know for sure. If you set so many restrictions on yourself you are limiting yourself immensly - and by this i don't mean that you just go with the flow or settle for any dom, not at all! i just mean that you shouldn't really set all these demands on your profile and have all these limits when you have never really experienced it to begin with. This is by no means a flame or am i trying to offend you in any way, i actually enjoy reading your posts and i think many people on these forums just go on defensive mode everytime they read anything that may offend their way of life - but that's not the case with me.

i do hope you find what you are looking for, but just keep in mind what i have told you here. As i said on another post to you, i had a long list of limits before i met Master, and i will never regret the fact that i allowed myself to trust Him enough that He was able to push those limits and because of it my life has been so filled with pleasure and it's enriched my journey tremendously. So, open your mind a bit and ease up, just remember that once you meet the man that is worthy of your trust and submission, you will be able to release that control and those fears or precautions and in doing so you will find a whole new world to discover.

Best wishes!

Merry Christmas!!

quote:

It wasn't a parting shot, it was a descriptive analogy intended to mirror the way I see you communicating. You'll note that YOU didn't see it that way, though; rather, you reacted. Which was my point. Thanks for making it for me.

As for the damned if you do and damned if don't analysis, I am surprised at your reaction. Tell me, did you stomp your foot when you wrote it, too? I suspect you have much more intellect than your petulance suggests.

Reaction begets reaction. You are reaping what you've sown.

MizSuz

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I believe that most of us know the meaning of monogamy, whether it be tightly or loosly defined. The problem that I am having with this discussion is that the majority of people want a monogamous relationship, but there are still a few -- and perhaps a great many more -- who would prefer a polyamorous lifestyle or open marriage (for lack of a better word).