quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
it is not meant to suggest superiority; but rather extra dedication.

quote:

In all of the above examples there was NO sexual involvment, no emotional connection other than friendship but from what you've said we would no longer match with your vision of High Monogomy. We still see ourselves as monogomous but do you? Not that it really matters to us either way. The reason i'm asking is to point out to you a different way of looking at it

lil_joy

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Thank you, darkangel.

Everyone else; back to your cliques; show's over.

candystripper

quote:

You just have to be able to accept that the way you are coming off on the boards here, intentionally or not, is very abrasive in that it appears that you are creating this elitist attitude in association with monogamy, as if somehow that is a higher, grander level of obtainment and that anyone who thinks otherwise is just not up to par. Considering the rest of the replies you have gotten as well I am quite certain I am not the only one to take your words in this way.

afmvdp

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

In all of the above examples there was NO sexual involvment, no emotional connection other than friendship but from what you've said we would no longer match with your vision of High Monogomy. We still see ourselves as monogomous but do you? Not that it really matters to us either way. The reason i'm asking is to point out to you a different way of looking at it

lil_joy

miss, first, congratulations on your happiness. No, i do not think using one's partner in a seminar to show people the proper way of doing things would conflict with my version of monogamy. But dear, my opinion does not count. What matters is only whether you and your Master are happy.

candystripper

quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy




miss, first, congratulations on your happiness. No, i do not think using one's partner in a seminar to show people the proper way of doing things would conflict with my version of monogamy. But dear, my opinion does not count. What matters is only whether you and your Master are happy.

candystripper

quote:

"High Monogamy" is a term my girlfriends and i used in Florida after a flurry of divorces caused by porn addictions or cyber-lovers..

quote:

ORIGINAL: afmvdp

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

afmvdp, i can respect your position...we can both be correct...for ourselves. There are different types of relationships; i know what i want and don't want...and You seem to have things well in hand as well. So i am not trying to change Your mind; just asking for mutual respect.

candystripper

Until you do something that would cause otherwise then mutual respect you will have. You just have to be able to accept that the way you are coming off on the boards here, intentionally or not, is very abrasive in that it appears that you are creating this elitist attitude in association with monogamy, as if somehow that is a higher, grander level of obtainment and that anyone who thinks otherwise is just not up to par. Considering the rest of the replies you have gotten as well I am quite certain I am not the only one to take your words in this way.

My way of life would not work for many and the levels to which I love and care for people would be far too time consuming or life enveloping, I don't expect your views to change by any words I may have to say, I am just trying to have you gain a deeper understanding as to why you may be running into this issue in the first place.

Also, truth be told there are ALOT of people who look for very similar things as you, but the internet kink scene is not always the best place to find a person who is actually looking for a meaningful relationship as opposed to a sexual exploit. If you have not had much luck finding such, perhaps your local munch scene may be a good place to start attending more regularly if you are not already doing so.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

You just have to be able to accept that the way you are coming off on the boards here, intentionally or not, is very abrasive in that it appears that you are creating this elitist attitude in association with monogamy, as if somehow that is a higher, grander level of obtainment and that anyone who thinks otherwise is just not up to par. Considering the rest of the replies you have gotten as well I am quite certain I am not the only one to take your words in this way.

afmvdp

What would You have me do? i have apologised profusely; i have clarified what i meant by "High Monogamy"; i have gone on to apologise again. It seems this "sin" of choosing the wrong turn of phrase is unforgivable. i tell MizSuz that i respect her, and she takes it as a condescention; a left handed compliment. Two members have made a spectacle of dropping me as a friend over this. You don't think i regret using "High Monogamy" as a phrase?

Here...on the boards..in chat..i have tried my best to understand people's kinks and respect them. i don't have answers for anyone else's life; running my own life is a full-time job. i feel entitled to be on CM and at the same time have no desire to hold myself above anyone else. Frankly, i don't think in those terms. i could consider myself the best thing since sliced bread but it would not help me find my One. My goal is not to establish myself in some hierarchy on CM -- but to find my One. CM is a means to an end.

It's Xmas Day now; i hope the spirit of the holidays will help mend fences where necessary.

candystripper

quote:

miss, first, congratulations on your happiness. No, i do not think using one's partner in a seminar to show people the proper way of doing things would conflict with my version of monogamy. But dear, my opinion does not count. What matters is only whether you and your Master are happy.

candystripper

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

plain BS is what it is...and it does show one thinking they are better than someone else and their ideas are better,,,so KoM and John are RIGHT

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

miss, first, congratulations on your happiness. No, i do not think using one's partner in a seminar to show people the proper way of doing things would conflict with my version of monogamy. But dear, my opinion does not count. What matters is only whether you and your Master are happy.

candystripper

Gosh did i do such a bad job at communicating? i'll try to clear things up. When i was the demoee Master was not the One doing the demonstration. In fact it was 2 diffeferent people doing 2 different demos. If infact i did communicate well and you understood what i was saying i don't understand the difference between what we have done for educational purposes and the example that fyreredsub gave except for the whole education thing. She didn't state if the example would take place at a play party or in private but i'm pretty sure that education would talk place either way.

Now i am NOT trying to nitpick or play the semantics game here. i'm just trying to understand where you are comming from as i'm seeing a contradiction here.

happy Holidays to you and anyone reading this

liljoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

plain BS is what it is...and it does show one thinking they are better than someone else and their ideas are better,,,so KoM and John are RIGHT

It's hard to deal with someone who condescends and sets her positions up as being superior and then offhandedly apologizes and then does the same thing again. Eventually the apologies wear thin. If she wasn't a highly educated women, I could put it down to lack of awareness, but for someone with an advanced degree, that's hard to buy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwhisper

First of all - Merry Christmas!

fyreredsub, with all due respect, what does it matter if she believes that her ideas & views are better than yours or anyone elses? i mean, really, what does it matter? i have tried to follow these threads, both this one and the Straight Woman Blues one, and i try to read it as objectively as possible but i just don't understand where candystripper went wrong - how exactly did she offend anyone? Because she seeks "high monogamy"? Because she is not into bisexuality or into sharing and she may even find it repulsive - so what? It's her right to express her opinion about monogamy as it is others on here to express theirs on poly - i don't see why she should even appologize! Am i the only one that finds all of this incredibly ridiculous?

quote:

well why is this, when i stated public play yesterday, no sex...it wasnt still monogomay, in my case according to you,( i'm not going back after the post)??? that i dont get,plz explain pink...why is it different here

fyreredsub

quote:

oopsies...i should have read further.....you caught that too, huh..............

enquiring minds to want to know.....pink...do tell, why is it ok for one and not the other....

of course, i have my own idea as to why.....lmfao

fyreredsub

quote:

You and your girlfriends made this term up "High Monogamy" doesn't matter why or how it was made up. Your definition does make it sound as if Your idea of monogamy is -better/real- everyone else's is- less/lacking.
This is not an attack in any way -shape or form- This is just how it comes across to me that is all.

swtsparkling