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RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 8:19:19 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

That pretty much happened to me, only he said he was 50 and he was 60...like I couldn't tell!  I stayed for coffee and, when we were finished, he "fessed up".  Then he had the nerve to say it didn't really matter anyway...maybe not to you fella, but it sure did to me.  Not the age itself, but the fact that he lied to me about it.


I have the problem in that when people meet me they refuse to believe I am 63 and still think I am late 40's to early 50's even after I show my drivers licence. One mature lady (no I will not call her an old boiler for she is really a sweet heart behind her school marm facade), lectured me about having a false drivers licence and wanted to know why I pretended to be older. WEG


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 8:21:05 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas


It would be very easy to clear myself about the age difference but...
blah blah blah. Everything past the "but" is your excuse to lie.

quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas She doesn’t seem very sexual. Though she told me that she masturbates herself very much I think that she is more in a mental way. She wants first the man who knows the right way for everything, and I feel that I know that way for her. She is not in doubt on that point !
 So, the man who knows the right way for everything is going to deceive her from the very start? I know I've seen Honey Master's "Master Handbook" around here somewhere, and it is very clear from peeking erm, I mean cleaning it thoroughly, that lying is the fastest way to ruin a D/s relationship. Well, that and electric devices placed across both nipples, and turned on high...


quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas
ps. Don't make a mistake, she stopped her first relationship not because her bf was bad but because "he doesn't know how to take care and handle his girl right".
Then I suggest you learn how to do so. Subs/slaves do NOT like being lied to. When we give our trust, we (hopefully) give it to one who is worthy of that trust. I wouldn't continue with you had I found out about your problem. Not because of the impotence, but because of the lack of respect you show her, and how little confidence you must have in her to not give her all of the information she needs to make a decision that is right for her, and for you.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 8:23:58 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I think you have already decided what you will do and how you'll proceed.

Perhaps you do have a beautiful and pure story, in the here and now..because you haven't met, because it's based on limited information.........including the fact that she was *not capable* of telling you about her one and only relationship.

You have a beautiful and pure story because it IS a story and real life hasn't intruded very much.

Are you being truthful with yourself here?.....Or are you hoping that she isn't 'sexual' despite her 'masturbating very much' with the thought that your intermittent erections may not matter too much? Do you think that telling her will chase her away before you've had a chance to get her in your grip, so to speak?

The more you keep it in these realms , the bigger the fall, if it comes. For both of you.

agirl





(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 12:44:27 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Your 'slave' has as much right to accept or reject you as you have to accept or reject her.

Be up front about it.

If she rejects you now because of ED or impotence you will have saved both yourselves some time and effort.

TM

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 1:52:08 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas

I am surprised not to find here any thread about impotence...? Most of men are more or less concerned by this problem one day.

As for me I have stayed alone for several years thinking that my 'love life' was finished because I like slave girls and I thought that my age (63 yo) and the beginning of impotence were an insurmountable problem to meet a young woman.

Thanks to internet I am in touch with a slave girl (23 yo.) for several months, and I am wondering if my slave must accept me totally without limits or restrictions, including impotence problems, or if I have to tell her everything about my problems.

But she lives very far at the other end of the earth. We have never met..., our first meeting is planned in about 10 months' time. And I think that a true slave is not allowed to be demanding on that point ! (Of course I can use some little blue pills...)

Thanks for your advices.


she's 23 and more than likely, to some degree or another, sexually in need.  im sorry to say, just because you cant always provide it, doesnt mean she shouldnt want it or need it or at some point hope for and expect it. 

i dont know what the answer is to this.  i know that you can achieve fulfillment simply through the bdsm activities you enjoy, but in your profile all you list is spanking as a hard limit.

im someone who needs to fuck in order to get that intense physical closeness and connection nothing else properly achieves (for me anyway) - you should talk to her.  better to run the risk of losing her now than plod on for another 10 months dreading the day when the two of you get together.

for some people sex is very important.  cast your mind back to when you were 23, how important was sex to you at that age.

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 4:06:20 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shannie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I hate liars and I hate being lied to. Even if it is a lie of omission. You are lying to this girl and you somehow assume that she will respect you as her master when she finds out? God, how pathetic. She deserves better and you deserve a kick in the pants.


I am just wondering if all of you women who "HATE lies of omission" -- feel the same way about your own physical deficiencies (i.e., saggy breasts, stretch marks, gray hair, and etc). Do you give "full disclosure" of each defect prior to meeting? This guy simply said he is worried about possible impotence. This just doesn't strike me as very different than a girl with a push-up bra worrying about what the guy is gonna think when she takes that bra off.   Lol.


i'm 45 years old.  i have borne young.  gravity sucks unless you supply some heavy duty undergarments.  i have health issues.

guess what?  *every* sincere dominant that pursued me for more than 3 email exchanges when i was looking got that information.  (ok, so i wasnt 45 yet when i was looking.)  but you get my drift. full disclosure.  why?  cause sooner or later that person was going to seek the chance to see me naked.  not only that, but if that person is going to want to be in my life full time, they *deserve* to know what they are getting into.

now....OP.  on the subject of impotence.  i had a 4 year relationship with my first dominant, which only ended when he passed away.  no matter of anything, and i do mean ANYTHING, was able to *ahem* add starch to that ever-so-dangly bit of male anatomy.  we did other things.  we developed our mental/emotional closeness.  i wasnt so worried about the bumpin uglies that did or didnt happen.

i'm getting married to TheEngineer in a few weeks.  we've known each other for nearly 9 years now, and he's always had issues off and on.  and it still doesnt matter.  his arms fit around me just as snuggly.  and he can swing a flogger with an erection OR without one.  but if he wasnt honest with me?  THAT would be more of an issue to me, quite frankly.

kitten

(in reply to shannie)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 4:48:27 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Your real age may not matter to her ..the fact you have ED MAY  not matter to her....but with holding that info  and learning later that you have mislead her and lied to ...is  a big deal and it will hurt her deeply and she may end up very well feeling it is unforgivable  and you will leave her then wondering what else you have lied about  and she will have felt she has wasted the past year or however long the  to have you have been involved by the time you meet.

Lies and lies by omission are huge deals   ..as they will  undermine trust and respect for you.

the real problem is you ....are you that insecure  that you have to lie to get someone?????



you want to call yourself a Master  to this girl ...just from this post alone you have shown all the qualities you lack in

I can count at least 12  from the below link .... I guess if you want to have a "true" slave  you need to do some work on yourself  first in order to be a worthy master

The Qualities of a realized Master


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 5:02:48 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas

A question from a girl :
If you were to tell her of your situation, how do you think she would respond? 

My reply :
I think that she would be very disappointed because I think that she is not into sex. I believe that she is waiting for a master who manages everything (even a beginning of impotence). So I think that she is waiting for a ruler who uses her in his way, not according to this or that (even sexual problems).

I think that she is happy to be mine without limits in her mind and she doesn't want a dream breaker! (or a man in doubt of himself).

By the way, I read above some lines about lying. Sorry my slave and myself are not concerned about it.


so what was the point of this thread?  I'm lost...

sure see a lot of what "you" think and not what "she" actually said

come on the girl is 22...you don't think sometime in her life she might want sex?   "I" think that is wishful thinking on "your" part

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/30/2008 5:18:12 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas

I am on the beginning of impotence, just the beginning. That’s why it is not easy for me to declare to my slave ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’ whereas we are beginning the relationship. We have never spoken of sexuality yet even if she is truly a slave with me for everything! And who knows ? my sexual problems might be not definitive ? ? ? I am absolutely not able to know in advance what will be my sexual drive with her when we meet. That’s why I am hesitating about what I have to tell her for now.
She doesn’t seem very sexual. Though she told me that she masturbates herself very much I think that she is more in a mental way. She wants first the man who knows the right way for everything, and I feel that I know that way for her. She is not in doubt on that point !

Does it even actually occur to you at all how every sentence you type is a self-awarded alibi for the continuation of your deception or have you actually managed to so fully convince yourself of the "right way" that the reality no longer exists?



OP, NZ is a wise person.  He has a great capacity for calling it as it is; worth looking at his words more than once. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: IMPOTENCE - 12/1/2008 2:22:38 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas
ps. Don't make a mistake, she stopped her first relationship not because her bf was bad but because "he doesn't know how to take care and handle his girl right". She is very modern and very attractive. She is not the poor shy little girl in the corner. Not at all !


all the best with this moutas....let us know how everything goes with the two of you in the future.  Maybe the two of you are meeting particular needs at the moment in each other ....they are very different to what I would want and I had a past experience where I met up with a man who turned out to be at least fifteen years older than he had originally told me. His reasoning was that since we were only talking as friends I didn't need to know the truth.   If he had told me the truth before we met I would definitely seen him again however I felt this relationship had been built on deceit.

The impotence would be less of a worry for me than the fact that you didn't tell me about it earlier. 




_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
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(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: IMPOTENCE - 12/1/2008 8:42:10 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shannie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I hate liars and I hate being lied to. Even if it is a lie of omission. You are lying to this girl and you somehow assume that she will respect you as her master when she finds out? God, how pathetic. She deserves better and you deserve a kick in the pants.


I am just wondering if all of you women who "HATE lies of omission" -- feel the same way about your own physical deficiencies (i.e., saggy breasts, stretch marks, gray hair, and etc). Do you give "full disclosure" of each defect prior to meeting? This guy simply said he is worried about possible impotence. This just doesn't strike me as very different than a girl with a push-up bra worrying about what the guy is gonna think when she takes that bra off.   Lol.


If I think the relationship is going to go somewhere more then just coffee, then yes I do.

I'm upfront to everyone I talk to and tell them straight out that I'm short, chubby and i photograph well so I tend to look better in pictures then i might in person.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to shannie)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: IMPOTENCE - 12/1/2008 5:50:57 PM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Impotence is a matter of opinion. BDSM is not about fucking.
The only organ you need in fully working order is your mind.
Sometimes the urgency of an erection makes you rush things. Don't worry about it. It's really not the be all and end all of it.

(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: IMPOTENCE - 12/1/2008 7:50:11 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy


The only organ you need in fully working order is your mind.


I've been with some that didn't even have that! 

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: IMPOTENCE - 12/2/2008 12:23:00 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

The other place that could use a little honesty is your profile.  You list your age there as 50, but here you say you are 63.  

Your failure to achieve an erection is not your biggest problem.


Yea but those are dog years....

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: IMPOTENCE - 12/2/2008 1:28:10 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Well I'm fine with a master choosing not to share certain things, but you need to tell her that you're not going to tell her certain things.  And obviously you'd have to tell her that you'll never want to be sexual with her or else it will obviously come up when you are together
No, it's not going to come up, LOLOL.     M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: IMPOTENCE - 12/2/2008 4:02:57 AM   
hellfarmer


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline 		Moutas- giving up power to another is a matter of trust. If you allow this young healthy girl to fly across the world to see you and then then WHEN SHE ARRIVES tall her "oh by the way my penis isnt working properly" then you have violated that trust. Plus you've shown that you dont trust HER enough to let her make her decisions based on relevant facts. You can rationalize all you want but a relationship not based on honesty will soon fall and then no one is happy.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/26/2009 7:33:16 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moutas

A question from a girl :
If you were to tell her of your situation, how do you think she would respond? 

My reply :
I think that she would be very disappointed because I think that she is not into sex. I believe that she is waiting for a master who manages everything (even a beginning of impotence). So I think that she is waiting for a ruler who uses her in his way, not according to this or that (even sexual problems).

I think that she is happy to be mine without limits in her mind and she doesn't want a dream breaker! (or a man in doubt of himself).

By the way, I read above some lines about lying. Sorry my slave and myself are not concerned about it.


So basically... she doesn't want reality. She wants to sit at her end of the computer and wank.

Which is great but then you never need to meet her and probably shouldn't. Reality has a way of destroying fantasy and it would destroy your fantasy regarding her and what she wants.

quote:


I am just wondering if all of you women who "HATE lies of omission" -- feel the same way about your own physical deficiencies (i.e., saggy breasts, stretch marks, gray hair, and etc). Do you give "full disclosure" of each defect prior to meeting? This guy simply said he is worried about possible impotence. This just doesn't strike me as very different than a girl with a push-up bra worrying about what the guy is gonna think when she takes that bra off.   Lol.


Yes I do actually because I deal with reality and not fantasy. The truth is that when I take off my bra, he is going to see that my breasts are scarred from surgery. When he touches them, he is going to find out that I have limited sensation in my breasts. When he sees my thighs and stomach, he will see my stretch marks.

What the hell is the point of hiding them? It's much kinder to my ego to have him say "Ew, no thanks" when we are still talking over e-mail than see his cock deflate or never hear from him again.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to moutas)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/26/2009 7:44:03 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Well, shoot.  I thought maybe somebody had brought this back from the past so we could hear how it all turned out in the end.  I'm almost disappointed that we didn't hear the end of the fairy tale.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/26/2009 8:17:41 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I've got some good guesses.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: IMPOTENCE - 11/26/2009 8:43:14 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		I DEMAND ANSWERS. ONLY THEN SHALL I KNOW WHY SLAVES ARE SO AGGRESSIVE.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 80
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