RE: Mold me?

RE: Mold me? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

NuevaVida -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 4:49:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee Nueva Now i feel bad...i was in no way trying to aim any hostility in your direction...as a matter of fact, i came to the boards a little too late to meet the person you were before you were with your last Master...but the woman who's posts i read while you were in that relationship were well thought out and showed that you are nowhere near a weaker person...in any respect. And my point was, that i dont consider any submissive to be weak...at all. That some feel the need to eschew common sense and wallow in the fantasy that another person on the planet, no matter how much they might love you, can actually, in reality, take on allllll the responsibilities of living...of being a member of the human race...simply based on the idea that she "just couldnt possibly do all that on her own"....therefore...."she needs me"...i call bullshit on that. When M took my car and detailed it and rearranged my computer to give me more "acreage", and bought me toilet paper on our way home from the dungeon one night because he noticed i was running low and remembered to pick it up....(funny thing was, we were driving separately and i stopped off too...so when we met up at my place we both had TP in our hands...)....those little actions made me feel special and small and cared for....i get it. im wired that way too.... my perception of you is based solely on your performance on this specific online discussion board. i have no other way to judge you as we have not spoken or met yet...i would consider it an honor to be one of your friends...but in my perception of you....weak or incapable....never ever entered my frame of consciousness...and i apologise if you felt offended by anything i may have said. perse. Oh heavens no you did not offend me and I didn't take your post personally at all! Please don't feel bad or that you should recant your words. I wrote what I did just to add a personal perspective (being that's the only perspective I have, lol) and as an example of someone who was once totally screwed up and is now...well...not quite so screwed up, haha. I appreciate your perspective, perse, whether or not I agree/disagree, understand/don't understand, or like it/dislike it. :) (how's that for covering all bases, heh). Thanks for this post, but please rest assured I did not write from a place of feeling offended or put off. There does seem to be an attitude amongst folks (not just here but in the world at large) that looks up to the strong and down on the weak, and I am of the belief we can learn from anyone, and everyone is on a different place in their path. And if someone needs a rescuer at a particular point in their lives, I hope they find one who teaches them well. [:)]

Roselaure -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 4:54:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl Ok, I get that it's not your kink. But, I'm not convinced its as bad as you say it is. It's like the whole doormat thing. I mean, if a s-type seeks a D-type to mold her, and finds one, and they mold and shape to their hearts content in one happy molding and shaping festival, and live happily ever after why would anyone complain? I was thinking the same thing but was afraid to bring the "d" word into the conversation. It is, I think, largely a matter of whether one sees"molding" in a postive or negative way. I certainly don't view myself as a weak, colorless lump of clay looking to be formed by some brilliant Master (not that there's anything wrong with that). But everyone can stand some improvement, and if my Dominant can lead me in that direction, then I think that's great.

persephonee -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 4:55:45 PM)
Nah, most of the rant was aimed at whining that i need that frickin Knight too...but hes always so busy with his silly damsels to pick me up....what he doesnt know is, i can totally spend all my time down at the stables taking care of the horses...id be way happier down there anyway....he could come get me when he needed his ...whatever...then back up to the castle for him....[:D]

NuevaVida -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 4:58:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Roselaure I certainly don't view myself as a weak, colorless lump of clay looking to be formed by some brilliant Master (not that there's anything wrong with that). I read this and thought "molding" does not necessarily mean one is a weak and colorless lump of clay. What if one is the most durable, bright and colorful towering peak of clay in all the land?? [:D] That's where I don't personally connect that "molding" means one is weak. I wouldn't say MichaelAngelo used weak marble when sculpting David. [;)]

NuevaVida -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:00:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee Nah, most of the rant was aimed at whining that i need that frickin Knight too...but hes always so busy with his silly damsels to pick me up....what he doesnt know is, i can totally spend all my time down at the stables taking care of the horses...id be way happier down there anyway....he could come get me when he needed his ...whatever...then back up to the castle for him....[:D] LOL. I somehow think a coddling knight would not be what fulfills either of us. Well, maybe except for that "...whatever..." part, heh. [;)]

kiwisub12 -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:01:03 PM)
and you know - the stable is full of neat things - like bridles, and bits and chains and leather and stalls and hay bales and whips and crops and so on and so on. [:D]

persephonee -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:02:00 PM)
mmmm...stopit...i have to work tonight.....[:D]

Lockit -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:02:47 PM)
LOL... Even a domme can use a knight sometimes! I don't think there is anything wrong in that! I do believe that on both sides of the slash, we teach each other and grow from our experience with one another. And everyone needs a bit of help at some point or another. I know I have! I have had a submissive that did tell me it was time to eat or sleep. lol He was so cute! lol And you know, he stood right up to me and told me exactly what he was doing and what he insisted on! I will never forget the few times he did it! lol I loved him all the more for it! I've been taught a thing or two and in a sense you could say I was guided or moulded if we define it as such!

Roselaure -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:07:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: Roselaure I certainly don't view myself as a weak, colorless lump of clay looking to be formed by some brilliant Master (not that there's anything wrong with that). I read this and thought "molding" does not necessarily mean one is a weak and colorless lump of clay. What if one is the most durable, bright and colorful towering peak of clay in all the land?? [:D] That's where I don't personally connect that "molding" means one is weak. I wouldn't say MichaelAngelo used weak marble when sculpting David. [;)] I don't see "molding" as creating something from the most basic of raw materials, necessarily. It can be as simple as communicating in a variety of ways, how to be the best sub for the Dominant. Training, molding, guiding, whatever one calls it, it's a similar function. Sure it can be taken too far and become something negative, but so can nearly everything else.

NuevaVida -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:10:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Roselaure I don't see "molding" as creating something from the most basic of raw materials, necessarily. It can be as simple as communicating in a variety of ways, how to be the best sub for the Dominant. Training, molding, guiding, whatever one calls it, it's a similar function. Sure it can be taken too far and become something negative, but so can nearly everything else. I absolutely agree :)

LadyPact -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:12:05 PM)
Folks have said some really great things on this thread and I hope you know I enjoyed reading all of it. Thank you, Locket, for the interesting question. I'm going to go more with what seemed to inspire the conversation. Let Me guess. The third or fourth email in a single day from male submissives who seem to think "molding" is the new buzzword that female Dominants want to hear? Yep, they're in My inbox, too. It must be the new craze. I happen to agree with you. No, I don't want to mold anyone. Teach them the way I do things, what kind of protocol I expect, and things of that nature, sure. Day to day life, no. The person obviously has functioned on some level before I got him. I still expect him to know how to deal with life in the same fashion (at some level) as he did before I came along. I don't want an empty canvas. I want one that already filled with color, and what I bring makes for a better picture. It's possible I'm just looking at the term wrong, as some others have said. I guess I have the same reaction to this one as I do the "break me" syndrome. For the record, I don't want to "break" anyone either. One last thing. You probably don't want to hear it from Me, but you're not that damn old.

Lockit -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:12:20 PM)
I am wondering, like I said I am trying to get an understanding of some of this... but could my major problem with this be in this: That maybe the difference is that some will come with this need for moulding from a place of doormat, total lost... saying what we might want to hear or expect to hear from some misconception, but showing little personality or strength all around... while others are not totally lost and take joy in leaning on their dominant in ways for some structure and guidence/love?

trealeon -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:17:12 PM)
You know I will say one thing. There was a girl once who wanted to be my sub, and she was completely helpless, like literally could not put one foot in front of the other without having someone right there to help her. She couldn't function without someone right there with her at all times walking her through life. That did drive me crazy. In that respect Lockit, I do see your point about wanting someone who can at least stand on their own two feet and do daily tasks without me. :)

Lockit -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:18:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Folks have said some really great things on this thread and I hope you know I enjoyed reading all of it. Thank you, Locket, for the interesting question. I'm going to go more with what seemed to inspire the conversation. Let Me guess. The third or fourth email in a single day from male submissives who seem to think "molding" is the new buzzword that female Dominants want to hear? Yep, they're in My inbox, too. It must be the new craze. I happen to agree with you. No, I don't want to mold anyone. Teach them the way I do things, what kind of protocol I expect, and things of that nature, sure. Day to day life, no. The person obviously has functioned on some level before I got him. I still expect him to know how to deal with life in the same fashion (at some level) as he did before I came along. I don't want an empty canvas. I want one that already filled with color, and what I bring makes for a better picture. It's possible I'm just looking at the term wrong, as some others have said. I guess I have the same reaction to this one as I do the "break me" syndrome. For the record, I don't want to "break" anyone either. One last thing. You probably don't want to hear it from Me, but you're not that damn old. LOL... I will take the feel good... thank you! Also thank you for your input. You are correct in those many emails coming at me with that request... oh yes... but it also spured me to wonder about things. I know my attitude showed big time and hey, I am known for that attitude, good or bad! Yikes! Believe it or not, I do work on it... sometimes. lol I do want a man who has something in social graces and adulthood, but of course love that devoted look of admiration or respect! There is a big difference in lost and what you discribe in your post. I too, have really enjoyed the many comments and different views. I will have a lot to chew on! Thank you!

RedMagic1 -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:21:31 PM)
The molder/moldee thing seems awfully vanilla to me. There's a saying in Spanish: "I'm looking for the other half of my orange." Some people believe they can't possibly be complete unless they are in a relationship where they are actively changing, or being changed by, another. And... maybe they can't, or don't see how they could be happy on their own. But that motivation is the cause of a helluva lot of stupid relationship decisions, well beyond BDSM-land.

LadyPact -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:22:59 PM)
It could be worse, Dude. We could get another round of the "castration" kick. [;)]

sexisubi -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:34:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I am wondering, like I said I am trying to get an understanding of some of this... but could my major problem with this be in this: That maybe the difference is that some will come with this need for moulding from a place of doormat, total lost... saying what we might want to hear or expect to hear from some misconception, but showing little personality or strength all around... while others are not totally lost and take joy in leaning on their dominant in ways for some structure and guidence/love? you know i was talking my Master about this and he made an excellent point! Some people are trying to find self worth. For some self worth is being found worthy to others, the issue with this is that once that person that made them feel worthy is gone then at that point the sub feel hollow and empty again. The point of a Dom is to show them that the submissive is stronger then they think. A submissive needs to realize what makes them golden so when they no longer have that person, that Dom, that moment, they can still think of themselves as worthy and beautiful. Growing with in a relationship is a thing Dom's want to be perminant, not just until They are gone. Anyway i thought this was very interesting, and might help the topic continue. i am just saddened i didn't think of it myself... however, i am also happy to have someone so wonderful as to realize the things i can't. It's within that partnership that i feel complete. <3

Lockit -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:36:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon You know I will say one thing. There was a girl once who wanted to be my sub, and she was completely helpless, like literally could not put one foot in front of the other without having someone right there to help her. She couldn't function without someone right there with her at all times walking her through life. That did drive me crazy. In that respect Lockit, I do see your point about wanting someone who can at least stand on their own two feet and do daily tasks without me. :) Exactly! I guess this is what I hear when I get those emails or request and then I go to the manipulation of it from what I have experienced. Thank you for sharing that!

gypsygrl -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:37:20 PM)
quote: The molder/moldee thing seems awfully vanilla to me. I suppose that would depend on what the s-type is being molded into, no?

Lockit -> RE: Mold me? (11/30/2008 5:43:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I am wondering, like I said I am trying to get an understanding of some of this... but could my major problem with this be in this: That maybe the difference is that some will come with this need for moulding from a place of doormat, total lost... saying what we might want to hear or expect to hear from some misconception, but showing little personality or strength all around... while others are not totally lost and take joy in leaning on their dominant in ways for some structure and guidence/love? you know i was talking my Master about this and he made an excellent point! Some people are trying to find self worth. For some self worth is being found worthy to others, the issue with this is that once that person that made them feel worthy is gone then at that point the sub feel hollow and empty again. The point of a Dom is to show them that the submissive is stronger then they think. A submissive needs to realize what makes them golden so when they no longer have that person, that Dom, that moment, they can still think of themselves as worthy and beautiful. Growing with in a relationship is a thing Dom's want to be perminant, not just until They are gone. Anyway i thought this was very interesting, and might help the topic continue. i am just saddened i didn't think of it myself... however, i am also happy to have someone so wonderful as to realize the things i can't. It's within that partnership that i feel complete. <3 I see this as a big issue sometimes and that is a whole different thread, but it does play into this I am sure. Thank you and your Master for this input! I don't mind helping someone feel better about themselves, but for one who has no self worth, I just can't go there. Maybe a fault of my own... but I am just not patient enough to constantly deal with a serious case of no self worth. I think more because that no self worth comes with other serious issues. Everyone can use a bit of boost in their ego or self perception at some point! You and your Master are very correct when you state that a dominant wants their submissive to actually believe and grasp their worth and the benefits of what a dominant does, even if they are not there. It isn't all about us and most of us want our submissive to be happy and part of happy is believing in yourself. Thank you!

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875