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RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:08:44 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

If anyone has directions for the construction and maintenance of the Dominant Force Shield, let me know, mmmmkay?  I will totally give you the credit.


Again, i was thinking that i had chosen the wrong side of the kneel when i signed up that day at the courthouse...you dom/mes get all the cool gadgets....

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:10:03 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

One should not take offense at someone choosing not to be vulnerable or open or soft with them- but lying and covering up due to fear, that's a real relationship killer, no matter what form it takes.


Is this what you're hinting at, Padriag?  The fantasy stereotype of a Dominant as uncaring, emotionless, unable to be hurt because they never allow their true selves to be known?
 
I do see a bit of that out there amongst newer folk (of all ages).  But it doesn't seem to last very long.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:11:32 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

If anyone has directions for the construction and maintenance of the Dominant Force Shield, let me know, mmmmkay?  I will totally give you the credit.


Again, i was thinking that i had chosen the wrong side of the kneel when i signed up that day at the courthouse...you dom/mes get all the cool gadgets....


I didn't say I had one that WORKED!!  I want to learn to be cold, mean, distant, and not needing of love or affection.  Oh, and I want to be a user!  I meet all kinds of men like that, and the women like that seem to get all the guys...  so there must be something to it.

Too-Vulnerable Hib

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:12:29 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

Some seem to want to see the dominant "bleed".

Not so sure it's that so much as wanting the dominant to acknowledge that, when pricked, he will in fact bleed.




_____________________________



(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:14:45 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		For me it's not the vulnerability that is as important as how I handle myself when it's exposed.

As an example, someone does something that is very hurtful to me. I can choose to strike out and cause more harm, or sit down and cry "ohhhhh wooooe is meeee!" OR, I can use the brain I was given, and handle it in a calm, constructive, adult manner.

It becomes not the vulnerability that is the issue, but how I cope with it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:16:35 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I don't think it has anything to do with being Dominant. I feel that, as each of us mature emotionally and spiritually, we come to find that what others think doesn't mean a hill of beans when dealing with our destiny. Thus, being authentic and vulnerable are a natural consequence of said maturity, in my opinion.

For example, I put a lot of myself into my book. I speak of my issues plainly and openly. Many have appreciated it, misspellings and all. Others have declared I'm weak, unknowledgeable and they, "wouldn't recommend [my] book to [their] cat." Well, I gave each of my cats a copy of my book and they both enjoyed it a great deal. Apparently, the slick cover and wide pages are lovely to sleep on! ;-) Yes, I paid attention to what people had to say...and I struggled with the idea of writing it simply because I worried about what people would say. In the end though, a ritual showed me that I was letting others dictate my destiny and that's not what my spirit it about. So, I matured another step and wrote it anyway.

I speak openly a great deal about my life in general in my LJ, too. Mostly, I do it to share with people so they see that a Master is a real person...and to share about my bipolar so they see that we CAN function, and do it fairly well, on a day-to-day basis. Being transparent is important to me in order to, perhaps, help others.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:17:11 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

For me it's not the vulnerability that is as important as how I handle myself when it's exposed.



Brilliant.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:20:58 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

One should not take offense at someone choosing not to be vulnerable or open or soft with them- but lying and covering up due to fear, that's a real relationship killer, no matter what form it takes.


Is this what you're hinting at, Padriag?  The fantasy stereotype of a Dominant as uncaring, emotionless, unable to be hurt because they never allow their true selves to be known?
 
I do see a bit of that out there amongst newer folk (of all ages).  But it doesn't seem to last very long.
 
John

Nope... not hinting at anything at all.  I'm asking exactly what I asked... just curious what the concept means to different people.  Simple as that really.  There are no right or wrong answers, so long as they are personal perspectives.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:22:08 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

If anyone has directions for the construction and maintenance of the Dominant Force Shield, let me know, mmmmkay?  I will totally give you the credit.


Again, i was thinking that i had chosen the wrong side of the kneel when i signed up that day at the courthouse...you dom/mes get all the cool gadgets....


I didn't say I had one that WORKED!!  I want to learn to be cold, mean, distant, and not needing of love or affection.  Oh, and I want to be a user!  I meet all kinds of men like that, and the women like that seem to get all the guys...  so there must be something to it.

Too-Vulnerable Hib


Psst..LadyH....you dont have to actually use them...you just need to use the right words while youre doing it...but dont tell...they get mad when i tell secrets.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:24:46 PM   
VAcontroldom


Posts: 65
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		I feel you are most powerful when you don't exert your full influence and instead lead people where you want them.

Similarly, I think pretending you are not vulnerable would be the sign of an insecure dominant. Someone comfortable with themselves should be able to show their whole self and know it will continue to inspire confidence in them and obedience towards them.

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:25:47 PM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline 		For me it has to come out in play, in tone of voice and communication without violating role. It also takes two, I need to give a little too. It's that moment in a scene where they expose an absolute adoration, while still being absolutely violent. It's in the grumbling when they're having a bad day. To me it's all in countenance and it tells me that I am fulfilling a need. It is really important.

I don't like it when dom's coo at kittens.

I like sadists for a reason, cause they're so damn mean. It is the most fulfilling thing when I get to be at the receiving end of an expression of care.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:28:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Wow, didn't realize you couldn't be a mean bastard AND kind to kittens...there goes my sadist button.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sheisreeds)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:30:17 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Mine also, I am even mushy with puppies and horses. The horror, the shame..........

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:34:20 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Mine also, I am even mushy with puppies and horses. The horror, the shame..........


How do you think I feel, with my guinea pigs? 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:34:35 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Mine also, I am even mushy with puppies and horses. The horror, the shame..........

I know right...I just got a pound puppy and at night I snuggle up to him with him in my arms all night. Ahhhh aint I the cutest.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:35:14 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I think everyone has certain vulnerabilities, some more than others, whether they identify as dominant or not.

Personally, I think it's good to know that the person who is dominating me is human in that regard, however, vulnerability isn't something I'd want to see in excess in my dom. 

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:37:43 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Wow, didn't realize you couldn't be a mean bastard AND kind to kittens...there goes my sadist button.


Mine, too.  Maybe the kittens can play with the toys I used to use to hurt people.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:38:31 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

I like sadists for a reason, cause they're so damn mean.


Sir's sadistic enough, and very much wants to hurt me but he's not mean.  I can't do mean right now.  Not even a little bit.  Too many years of living with mean...I decided to take a break from that.  Sir can be very mushy in a wierd 1970's way that made me really uncomfortable at first cause I'm not used to it.  Of the two of us, I'm probably the more hard boiled.  Some times I worry about hurting him because I can be callous and insensitive so the whole thing encourages me to soften up a bit and pay attention.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to sheisreeds)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:38:36 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Showing vulnerability is not showing weakness, It's showing great strength. Any person can act like a robot with no emotion or vulnerability. But true courage comes from having the guts to show human emotion and even frailty.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to sblady)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Vulnerable Dominants - 11/30/2008 7:39:41 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Wow, didn't realize you couldn't be a mean bastard AND kind to kittens...there goes my sadist button.


Mine, too.  Maybe the kittens can play with the toys I used to use to hurt people.



Just a few weeks ago my cat came strutting out of my bedroom carrying a little titty whip in his mouth. I nearly died, lol.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 40
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