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ORIGINAL: marie2

I think everyone has certain vulnerabilities, some more than others, whether they identify as dominant or not.

Personally, I think it's good to know that the person who is dominating me is human in that regard, however, vulnerability isn't something I'd want to see in excess in my dom. 

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

Vulnerable to me is placing myself in a position where someone could hurt me, see me or know me.  Until I am vulnerable no one can do any of these things.  It is a must in my involvement even with just friends.  I am not afraid of it, but I would be afraid of not being vulnerable.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

~ FAST REPLY ~

 
My vulnerability has a name - beth.

Acknowledging the condition doesn't represent that all dominants, or any other dominant, should or shouldn't be vulnerable; only the fact that this dominant is in spite of a long and diligent attempt not to be vulnerable to anybody or anything. I attribute it to never being able to trust someone enough to become vulnerable. Over time, usually a very short time, they lived up to my cynical expectation. Each adding another brick to the wall of hard indifference I contently existed behind. If there was any ancillary emotion generated by being vulnerable it is anger, but I'm learning to live with it, as well as its cause; also named - beth.

It is a statement of fact that nobody else in the world but beth could affect my life negatively. As long as she is in my life nothing materially, or emotionally, matters. I'd say that condition generates the only fear I can reference in my life. Fear of being without her is the serious pragmatic fact behind the silly representation that she doesn't have permission to die before me.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well that would mean that if you love an abusive asshole, you should open yourself to them to the possibility of them hurting you emotionally.

No, love does not equate to allowing vulnerability.  In fact in many cases it's GOOD to close that off.  We can love someone and still be bad to be in a relationship with them.

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ORIGINAL: trealeon
Actually people who love abusive assholes will often explain away the fact that the hurt them emotionally or physically because they do love them. It happens a lot.

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When you open yourself up to someone, you are making yourself vulnerable and people tend to open up to people they are in love with.

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

What does the phrase or concept of "vulnerability in a dominant" mean to you?  What do you think that is or would be?  Do you think its something a dominant should or should not be, and if so why or why not?

I'll be watching with interest.

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Padriag Asked:
What does the phrase or concept of "vulnerability in a dominant" mean to you?

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Do you think its something a dominant should or should not be, and if so why or why not?

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What does the phrase or concept of "vulnerability in a dominant" mean to you?  What do you think that is or would be?  Do you think its something a dominant should or should not be, and if so why or why not?

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I'll be watching with interest.

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

This is about personal perspective, how each of you defines a word and what it means to you in a specific context.  The word is "vulnerability" and I have a particular context in mind.  Often in various discussions on these forae that word is used regarding dominants, and often with the suggestion that a dominant should be vulnerable or able to be vulnerable.  I find this intriguing so here is my question to you, consider it and answer it however your own ideas and thoughts dictate.

What does the phrase or concept of "vulnerability in a dominant" mean to you?  What do you think that is or would be?  Do you think its something a dominant should or should not be, and if so why or why not?

I'll be watching with interest.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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What does the phrase or concept of "vulnerability in a dominant" mean to you?  What do you think that is or would be?  Do you think its something a dominant should or should not be, and if so why or why not?

As so many stated already.. everyone is vulnerable in one manner or another.  However, in the context of a relationship having vulnerability or being vulnerable has much to do with being authentic in your behaviors, thoughts and feelings.  In other words, ones feelings and thoughts are consistent with ones behaviors and that we don't filter what we share in order to create some false image.  So often I hear Dominant individuals attempt to create that bravado strong image in order to impress the submissive personality.  It is one thing when such a person is authentically behaving in a manner consistent with their thoughts and feelings... but it is another when they are supressing them or to put it another way they are wearing clothes that just don't fit.  That is not to say that one is authentic with their thoughts and feelings with just anyone.  I find it appropriate that such a person is authentic with their intimate partners.  The authentic nature of these feelings and thoughts besides being honest and open establishes that vulnerability exists between the individuals.

Again.. just because we maybe vulnerable to our intimate partners... doesn't mean that we are demonstrating and admitting that this vulnerability exists.  Individuals for whatever reason have barriers and walls that prevent intimacy with their partners.  I often find that individuals that find it difficult to deal with anothers openness and authentic thoughts and feelings are themselves theatened to be exposed and would prefer you to stay behind your barriers so they can stay behind theirs.   But, regardless of people staying behind the walls and other self-defence mechanisms that individuals develop.. it doesn't prevent their vulnerability with the partner they love.  It only prevents the growth of intimacy with their partner.

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I'll be watching with interest.

and what have you been seeing as you watch?