Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

subs who've ever tried to be Dominant?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 5:19:21 AM   
fp2012


Posts: 97
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		Hey there I'm back after a long break, with an interesting new experience under my belt. I identify as a submissive, and I know for a fact that being Dominant doesn't turn me on in the same way (i also can't bring myself to punish anyone but that's a different story). Anyway, a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to teach my new guy (who I'm introducing to BDSM) a thing or two about being in control. The only way I saw to go about this was to show him by being Dominant myself. Have any other subs tried taking the reigns before and switching roles (I mean subs here more than switches)?

It definitely opened my eyes to how difficult it is to come up with stuff to do, and made me realize just how indecisive I am lol. What are your thoughts on it? I actually think it's a good idea if you've never tried it before... sure made me appreciate my Master's talent more than ever!
Cheers,
~fp

_____________________________

"When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm better" - Mae West
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 6:01:49 AM   
Yourkitten


Posts: 56
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		about a year ago when i lived in memphis i played with a dom and we were friends. one nite he asked me to put on a strap on. i didnt want to do this but i wanted to please him so i did. we got on the bed and he did things to me that i would do to him only my cock wasnt real. then he would get on his belly and have me use him from behind.

i would tie him to the cross and then used the flogger on his back and ass. i pulled his hair and pinched his nipples. i made him wait to cum.

it was not who i am or wanted to be but i did this for him. i did enjoy the flogger but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired. it was interesting but not something i ever want to do again.

anyways, i did this three times and finally i asked him to dom me. i guess he liked the sub role better and wanted me to keep on topping him. thats when we decided to not play anymore. he was getting all the pleasure and i wasnt. so we became just friends.

the marks i left on his back did make me smile. not letting him cum till i said was fun too.

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 9:14:06 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		LOL my former owner encouraged me to become a top in relationships. I think half the reason he did it was to make me sympathize with all the crap he has to put up with as the dom and not let me do it blindly anymore.

I greatly enjoy topping. I don't know if I will ever consider myself a switch, but it certainly has helped me grow as a slave.

But as with everyone, it's not for everyone.

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 9:22:40 AM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fp2012

Have any other subs tried taking the reigns before and switching roles (I mean subs here more than switches)?

It definitely opened my eyes to how difficult it is to come up with stuff to do, and made me realize just how indecisive I am lol. What are your thoughts on it? I actually think it's a good idea if you've never tried it before... sure made me appreciate my Master's talent more than ever!
Cheers,
~fp


Unlike the majority, I think doing what you did should be done by both subs and doms for the reasons you pointed out and more. What better perspective to understand the responsibility given to you by your submissive than to experience being tied up at the hand of another? I know this is not a view shared by many but your actions allowed you to grow more as a submissive, recognize who you are and appreciate your master even more. Would the same not occur if the reverse happened?

(Sits back and keeps his 6 month shitzu puppy away from the ceiling fan. I really don't have a puppy but I love the pun)!


_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 9:26:50 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		i have tried being Dom, online, of course. it was how i started out in the lifestyle, sometimes i think i would be better off going back to it. i might actually get to meet more people in real life this way...but it's not me.

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 9:30:55 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired.
========

this is when you make the guy do the work..
Mistress had Hers strapped to Her leg and made me go up and down on it.
it was one way of Her "claiming" Her boy...and it was 'a' way of stepping farther into my gurl side...




_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to Yourkitten)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 10:10:22 AM   
Shayna


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		I sometimes top men and I have learned an enormous amount from the experience. With one man we switched roles halfway through the night and I decided that doesn't work for me at all - I can't switch with the same partner. It's clear to me that I'm hard wired as a submissive - I see the traits in my vanilla life, and submission is very intense for me emotionally and erotically. My "ideal" Dom would enjoy watching me top a boy if someone I clicked with came along. While I'm single, it's not a big deal, though I will only play with boys that aren't looking to me for me than just play.

(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 10:14:36 AM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that.


Haha. The first time I used a strap on (on a woman) my thought was damn, how do men use these things any way! Not that I am a pro now by any means, but I did find the type of strap on and positions made a HUGE difference.

(in reply to Yourkitten)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 11:31:46 AM   
Yourkitten


Posts: 56
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		it kept getting in my way lol.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 1:02:17 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I've always thought it might be fun to try and "top" someone. But not dominate them, at least not in the way that it means for me to be dominated. But perhaps if I were directed to top another person, that could be fun, who knows?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Yourkitten)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 1:21:58 PM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I suppose it depends on a person's personality in general, as well as the roles they are used to filling. My day-to-day life requires me to be in charge of many things, which seems to suck any latent dominant traits out of me, the it is possible to "play the role" of being dominant.

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 1:22:48 PM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Yourkitten

i did enjoy the flogger but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired.


If you are referring to the actual penetration part of it, I think a male performing it (without the strap-on of course) tends not perform for too long, due to the feedback he's getting.

Tasha

_____________________________


"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to Yourkitten)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 1:42:16 PM   
wetsub000


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		I've done it a couple of times now. The first time was the worst, I was playing with a switch, but thought I'd made it clear that I only wanted to play the sub role. However half way through the night he untied me and said 'My turn now'. I was at a complete loss as to what to do, but did attempt to top him. It felt just as awkward as I'd imagined it would for me. I don't think I needed to experience that at all to get any sympathy for a Dom.

On the other hand, I've topped a friend out at a club, he's a switch and it was fun doing to him things I know he likes. For me I guess it was the closest I've come to role-playing and that's how it felt, like I was acting a part.

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/26/2005 2:01:51 PM   
addcted2it


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/28/2004
From: Sonoma County, California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fp2012

[Snip]

It definitely opened my eyes to how difficult it is to come up with stuff to do, and made me realize just how indecisive I am lol. What are your thoughts on it? I actually think it's a good idea if you've never tried it before... sure made me appreciate my Master's talent more than ever!
Cheers,
~fp


Oh, yeah! It's hard work being a dominant. Who ever said that it wasn't? But I suppose that the real payoff for the dominant person would be the same level of intensity that a submissive or slave receives, but by way of causing the action and reaction rather than the other way around.

It is not only entertaining but enlightening (for the sub or slave in particular) to make one's sub or slave try the dominant role, because you KNOW that if they are really submissive, they will have to work twice as hard to get the result.

An interesting exercise, fur sure!


_____________________________

Submission is not an excuse to abuse.
Life is short! Live it to the fullest!

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/27/2005 7:42:55 AM   
kiale


Posts: 23
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline 		I can do what I call co-topping. I can be supportive to a dom when he is dominating another, I can support a top who is providing sensation play to another--but I'm still clearly in the rung of command underneath the dom/top.

I actually don't mind that kind of play, but don't ask me to run a scene--I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have a natural sense of pacing in the least.

(in reply to addcted2it)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/27/2005 11:50:05 AM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tasha_tart


quote:

ORIGINAL: Yourkitten

i did enjoy the flogger but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired.


If you are referring to the actual penetration part of it, I think a male performing it (without the strap-on of course) tends not perform for too long, due to the feedback he's getting.

Tasha



Feedback? Is that what that was? I thought it was just interference from the stereo system. Ya learn something new everyday!

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to tasha_tart)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/27/2005 1:55:28 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Hey there I'm back after a long break, with an interesting new experience under my belt. I identify as a submissive, and I know for a fact that being Dominant doesn't turn me on in the same way (i also can't bring myself to punish anyone but that's a different story). Anyway, a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to teach my new guy (who I'm introducing to BDSM) a thing or two about being in control. The only way I saw to go about this was to show him by being Dominant myself. Have any other subs tried taking the reigns before and switching roles (I mean subs here more than switches)?


I knew which side of the fence I stood on at a very early age. Before people called the lifestyle BDSM. It was sexual dysfunction back then. I learned about it out of a textbook or two.
I also had siblings who were much older than me who I could look at and tell they were submissive. Both married abuser's.
So, for many years I fought who I was because I didn't want to be like them. I wanted to be loved and cherished. Not just for someones kicks to use and abuse me.
So, in that arena yes I turned myself into the person I am today. Mentally I've never met a person I could not take a mind control hold over. Well, one.
As far as physical punishment I don't have it within me either. I can hit a person when mad but everyone who knows even the simplest about the lifestyle knows a dominant doesn't lash out when angry.
Have I ever had a sub? No, any desire, no. Yet have I mentally controlled people, yes I do it daily within my job.
There is only one person in this world I strictly obey and that is my dom. To the rest I can care less how I am perceived.

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/27/2005 2:14:49 PM   
mystictryst


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		One night, I decided that he needed to know what it was to be on the bottom.. So I persueded him to let me "top" him...

It ended (very quickly) with both of us laughing and we decided that it wouldn't happen again, mostly because it held no appeal for either of us. It was hard work being the Dom... It wasn't all about me, so that was a problem too.. *g*


(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/27/2005 2:32:01 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I was once asked to top and i could not do it. I really did try but it felt so untratural and i was ao akward he never asked again. I guess i am one of those subs who cannot do the top thing. I mean can't even play at being a top. Hey to those of you that can do it i say more powere to you. I just somehow can't.

littleone

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? - 12/27/2005 3:32:45 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		ive tried topping a few times, i felt awkward and out of place, i got no pleasure at all out of flogging someone, or telling them what to do, i couldn't appreciate the male bottoms enjoyment of it, or his willingness to be subserviant, it really turned me off majorally.

(in reply to fp2012)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.095