RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (Full Version)

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DVsFox -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 10:43:17 AM)

That's also a very true point.  The brainless, musclebound attack dog stereotype of male submissives is just as bad as the worthless, sniveling wimp stereotype.  My Owner considers me a strong human being even if I'm not oozing with muscular strength.

DV's Fox



hardbodysub -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 10:54:59 AM)

quote:

No WONDER so many of the males writing to us think the lifestyle is about kinky sex!


For some people, it is. But I don't think they get that idea from the porn. I think it's the other way around. The porn-makers are producing what they think a lot of guys want.

I find that type of porn boring. There was a recent thread about femdom porn written for femdoms that addresses this issue pretty well.



MistressTaboo -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 11:18:15 AM)

I admit I like a big strong man to play. But that being said...if he can't hold a conversation once the scene is over...what use is he?

That being said...my husband/slave of 8yrs isn't tall and muscular...but he can make me laugh and can hold his own in any conversation. Worth more than all the muscles in the world.

I'm tired of the emails that get sent saying "I want to lie down and worship you."  Come on...at least be a little bit of a challenge!

If I want a doormat I'll buy one at Walmart...



E2Sweet -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 11:23:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mydniterose
....The men I like are big, strong and very masculine! Anyone can dominante the weak!


We all are attracted to what body type we are attracted to. I personally don't see anything wrong with that at all. But, the notion that anyone can dominate someone who is not big, strong, and very masculine, which seems to be what is suggested, would be inaccurate. I'm free any weekday evening should anyone like me to prove my point. [;)]





PeonForHer -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 11:26:06 AM)

Jeez, I don't think I've come across the "brainless, musclebound attack-dog" stereotype, Fox.  What I've mostly seen, tbh, is a very vampish woman with a very ordinary (not wimpy, but not standard porn actorish either) man.

And for what it's worth, you don't exactly look like a weed.  I see some brawn in those there arms. [;)]



mydniterose -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 11:32:46 AM)

To those of you who have pointed out that Big and muscular needn't equate  smart; I must say that it don't rule it out either! lol

But I agree, just because something is my preference, doesn't mean it's required. And if it comes down to choosing, I would rather my sub be engaging and able to carry on a conversatioon at least, if he cannot carry me. (thank you again Lockit for that image)

I was originally just peeved about the quality of the porn offerings depecting so called "FemDoms".that are really just puppets fulfilling some man's fantasy of a Fetish Doll that "torments' and rewards the man with all the sex he wants!




DVsFox -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 11:41:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Jeez, I don't think I've come across the "brainless, musclebound attack-dog" stereotype, Fox.  What I've mostly seen, tbh, is a very vampish woman with a very ordinary (not wimpy, but not standard porn actorish either) man.

And for what it's worth, you don't exactly look like a weed.  I see some brawn in those there arms. [;)]


I've actually seen that quite a bit.  It's far from the most popular stereotype, but I'd say it's somewhere in the top 5.

You see leftovers from my football/weight training days in High School. :-p

Of course, I do plan on becoming a touch more toned in the coming months.  I just don't plan on going -very- far with it.  I like a natural softness with just a hint of muscularity.

That being said, not all slender men are wimpy...not all muscular men are stupid.  The truth of the matter is that most people are just average and don't veer too far towards one extreme or the other.  And there's a lot of beauty in that.

DV's Fox



MissEnchanted -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 12:02:53 PM)

Otter said:
If you prefer a muscular guy, then good on ya, but remember that real strength is to be found in character, not in physique. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amen!!

[8D]



LadyLou -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 3:14:10 PM)

 Ahh, but surely you just inadvertently promoted that all slender men are weak and unworthy of dominating by somehow assuming that only big men can be 'strong'? Lol. That only big burly men are worth dominating? That slender men are doormats? That slender men are 'shrimpy wimps'? ;) Lol. I know you didn't intend to :) but it's the same kind of thing. I doubt it's an intentional thing on behalf of the porn promoters, they are just appealing their market. It's basically a misunderstanding by the producers that submission equals weakness. A lot of the producers that make it haven't got a clue, and have no personal experience within BDSM culture, it's just a market to them. Stereotypes suck generally, and leave a lot of misunderstanding. It's a pretty lazy way to get to grips with and define someone or a particularly demographic.


But I do hear you about the quality of 'femdom' porn, it's one of my pet peeves. It is truly diabolical, but it is unintentionally funny, so at least I have managed to get some kick out of it. A common theme I've seen, and one of the things that I find funny is that you'll see some barbiedoll showing utter contempt for some guy, and be doing cruel devilish things, humiliating him, treating him like a worm... but then she'll miraculously start sucking his cock, AND at the end of it all, still have no orgasm of her own – fucked up much? LMAO! I wish there was decent femdom porn out there that genuinely focused on female pleasure in a way I would understand it. Heck I wish there were vanilla porn out there that focused on genuine female pleasure more and showed genuine female orgasms lol. I feel there is a bigger market out there for it than one would imagine, but it would be a very difficult market.


By the by, I'm a big strong gal, and my sub is slender. I like the size difference, makes me feel...uhh... all Amazonian lmao!!! ;)



CdnExplorer -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 3:45:36 PM)

The ironic thing is that as a guy all the femdom porn that thrives on this stereotype does nothing for me. I mean seriously, am I supposed to enjoy portrayals of my sexuality that seems to characterize all guys who are like me as weak and undesireable? When I say weak, I don't mean just physically but in character as well. Most of the femdom / male sub porn out there turns me right off. It has gotten me to the point now where I rarely ever look at porn, and I'm becoming much less visual in my fantasies. Rather than thinking of something that I'd like to experience, I think of my emotional response to that experience. Someone needs to start making some better femdom / male sub porn...I miss looking at hot women! [;)]



MsStarlett -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 4:35:11 PM)

For those who think you can't have a great male bod with a brain, ask our dear, best beloved Peon what he does for a living.

Same thing with pretty Barbie doll blonds, you can always find the exception that proves the rule.  I just haven't run across one lately.  (Smart and pretty Redheads & Brunettes, yes... Blonds not so much.  *giggle*)

Yes, I find a strong, hard bodied man to be attractive and lord knows I like to look.  But most of my relationships have been with more 'average' Joes who show true strength by putting up with me and all of my difficult moods, habits, hobbies, etc.





Dilseachd -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 4:43:26 PM)

I am not overly fond of the Men in Pain style porn.  I had a former who used to rage about that stuff and swear she was going to start filming her sessions and putting them out there for "real femdoms" to enjoy.  She never did..but I imagine she was not far from wrong in thinking it would be a bigger hit amonst the Ladies than the men.   She did dig around and found some German Femdom stuff that was pretty good.  It was soooo not made for the men.   I dont remember any names or who the Dominas in the couple of vidoes she found was sadly.  Seems like this topic was also recently discussed in the "Strong Sub" discussion.

Regards to all,
Dils



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 5:07:45 PM)

Personally I don't care and don't waste energy hating anything that other people put on their profile, however I do get a lil chuckle and think yeah right nice fantasy, at some of the outlandish ways Femdoms on here act.Like calling the guy a worm and saying you'll be in the poorhouse and give every last dime to me soI can be ritch
quote:

ORIGINAL: mydniterose

Is anyone else upset that the majority of FemDom porn protrays male submissives as whimpy, shrimpy guys that look like a stiff breeze could blow them over?!?

Take a look at the banner running at the bottom and right side of the main pages of this site.
Every time I check my mail I am treated to the image of some plastic "Fetish Barbie Doll" version of a Domme  tieing up some little boy , spanking him , dripping a bit of wax on his bits, then using a strap on-or just sucking his little weenie before fucking him.

I don't know how you feel about it, but for me at least I don't have sex with my subs...at least not all the time and not my more casual playmates!

For me that level of intimicy is a privliege that I only share with a very few.

No WONDER so many of the males writing to us think the lifestyle is about kinky sex! NO WONDER I get so many messages declaring the writers prowess at oral sex!

And does this mean the producers of these sub standard porn productions really think that a real Dominant Woman is only capable of handling a whimpy little man?

The men I like are big, strong and very masculine! Anyone can dominante the weak! I thrill to a strong man  kneeling before me, attentive to my desires, suffering the pain I so joyfully give him, knowing the entire time that he is doing this because it is his pleasure to serve....A ...Strong ....Woman!

At this point if I want to enjoy a porn with a large, strong man...(with a hairy chest please) I have to watch the gay bondage channel!
 
*sigh*

So am I alone here?



ShaktiSama -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 6:33:12 PM)

*smiles*  Ditto those who say that a man doesn't have to be the size of a tank to be strong or sexy.

For that matter, I'm not all that sure that I don't prefer a strong mind and a strong heart over a strong body anyway.  I've seen plenty of men who were built like an ox...and had the brains to match.  Physical strength is sexy, but without wit it's pretty meaningless.



aidan -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 6:34:41 PM)

Eh, I kinda like that there's some porn with guys who look kinda like me. I'm not a huge fan of the rest of it, though.

Anyway...I dunno where I was going with this. I'm too sick to be posting anyway.[:'(]



PeonForHer -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 6:52:56 PM)

I'm too sick to be posting anyway.[:'(]

Oh no.  She hasn't been doing it again, has she? 




YourhandMyAss -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 8:23:20 PM)

Ia ctually find it a turn off when the men are so buff they look like they're wearing a cheap inflatable muscle suit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

*smiles*  Ditto those who say that a man doesn't have to be the size of a tank to be strong or sexy.

For that matter, I'm not all that sure that I don't prefer a strong mind and a strong heart over a strong body anyway.  I've seen plenty of men who were built like an ox...and had the brains to match.  Physical strength is sexy, but without wit it's pretty meaningless.




Araven -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/4/2008 10:27:33 PM)

Hrm.. whimpy male subs. Yeah.. I don't really like that portrayal at all either, as a male sub. Guys should be just who they are and not be judged. 



mydniterose -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/5/2008 6:15:50 AM)

@ Araven...I agree, male subs should be just who they are. It's the seeming overwhelming sterotype on FemDom porn protraying them as skinny little boys without a backbone, who get a bit of slapped around , then get fucked by the Domme in the fetish attire that I was grousing about!

I don't enjoy the other extreme of over muscled hulks either. Rather find a nice balance of physical and mental appeal. Bearing in mind we all have our own tastes, I was commenting about the way we as Dommes are protrayed in the movies offered.

Guess what I found most offenseive is that it seems part of the message is not only are we too weak ourselves to "handle a strong (physically) man, but we are doing it just to get fucked!

Thats my take....YMMV



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Fed up with the image of "whimpy" male subs (12/5/2008 6:20:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

If a man can't engage my mind and make me laugh and think, his physique is immaterial.


I have to agree LH. A physique can be worked on but if they have no personality... well, how boring would that be.
 
And for the thread... I can honestly say I've never watched it and have no desire to.
 
Jewel



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