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How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 12:56:45 PM   
TheVoiceofOne


Posts: 58
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline 		Hello all, I have a question or ten, directed at the self-proclaimed sadists among us. What causes you to have sadistic urges? Is it the same trigger every time? Or, is it a constant need? Is it a combination of many differing factors, depending on your mood, the weather, how spicy dinner was, etc. or what? How do you know how far to take your urges? What is the line for you, between expressing your sadism in a "healthy" way, and abuse?

A bit about me, I am a lifelong dominant personality type of a guy. I have been involved in 3 D/s and 1 M/s relationships, totally about 12 years. I am more and more realizing that semi-regularly, I have strong urges to cause suffering, and that these urges are pleasurable to think about. What usually brings these urges on is a change in my brain, where I start getting irritable at the world and cranky feeling. Over a few days, it turns into a gnawing at my brain stem, like fingernails down a chalkboard... Then the sadistic thoughts and feelings begin and usually last for a few days... These feelings do not entail anything criminal, or anything that would make me the week's star on criminal minds... Just stuff some of you people do.


Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 1:00:56 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

What causes you to have sadistic urges?


Why do I like pizza more than liver?  Some things just *are*.

quote:


Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self?


Being odd is something everyone has in common.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
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RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 1:03:10 PM   
TheVoiceofOne


Posts: 58
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting, but less than helpful.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 1:05:36 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

Am I odd, and in need of immediate help

You're very odd....quite perverse in fact.

This oddity has created stress within you which only the sounds of a screaming slave will release.

Find a slave and make her scream. Then you'll feel better.

_____________________________



(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
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RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 1:12:56 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

Interesting, but less than helpful.


There's valuable advice in that post.  It's up to you to make it helpful.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 1:20:17 PM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne


What usually brings these urges on is a change in my brain, where I start getting irritable at the world and cranky feeling. Over a few days, it turns into a gnawing at my brain stem, like fingernails down a chalkboard... Then the sadistic thoughts and feelings begin and usually last for a few days...



This is the part I find troubling. You're looking to vent your "irritable at the world and cranky feeling" on another person. There's something not quite right there.

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
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RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 1:26:21 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Akasha talked about this a while back in Ask A Mistress. How she will indulge her sadistic urges and once having sated them, not be interested again for a few weeks. But that after a period of time, the need to play would build up and she couldn't focus on much more than doing something devilish to someone.

From a sub's point of view. If we don't play for three weeks, I get short tempered and/or weepy. I need the release. Last week we played five out of seven nights. I'm not sure I was getting anything done during that time but I sure was happy! On those rare occasions where we have hours available we're both walking around laughing and looking like we're drunk the next day.

So yeah, having cyclic urges is not uncommon.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 2:09:04 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		For me.. it's always there.  I either choose to sedate it or not.  It doesn't control me.. I control me.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 2:32:33 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Yep I don't quesiton why I enjoi it.  I just do.  What the OP describes is a anger management class.  When I get pissed off I do NOT have the urge to hurt ppl.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 2:47:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		In the OP, you specifically mentioned prior D/s and one M/s dynamic.  My first question back to you is, was there an S/m element involved in those?  It's completely possible that there was, and you get that little desire to do those things again from time to time.  The other possibility is that there wasn't, but you are now starting to think of sadism as a fun little way to do things and it's become an urge for you.  That information might have helped Me to construct a more helpful reply.

As for My own case, I really look at My sadism that way many people see their sexuality.  I get urges to hurt people very much the same way people see getting horny.  Sometimes, it's because a stray thought has wondered through My head because of something I've seen or heard and it linked to another thought.  Other times, it's just because it's been a while since I've played and I feel the yearning to do so.  It could be because there's an upcoming event where it would be a good idea to bring My toybag along for the ride. 

Yes, I also tend to get a bit cranky if I haven't let My sadist out to play in a while.  There are people in My life who know Me well enough to tell Me that I need to go beat someone to get an attitude adjustment for Myself..  It's not something I can ever argue with because I know they are right. 

As a fellow sadist, I wouldn't say anything is wrong with you.  It's more a case of wanting to have your urges satisfied.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 5:00:01 PM   
TheVoiceofOne


Posts: 58
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline 		My question was not originally about myself.... But, I got to typing and went too far. I simply wanted to know if you sadists had particular triggers in life, or urges, or if it was a constant need. Thank you for your input, you were only one of three who were actually useful.

PS. How do I edit my original post?

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 5:57:09 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I read the cranky bit as that he gets cranky if he hasn;t played for a while. Not that he uses s & m to take out his anger at the world. Which is it?

You can only edit for about an hour after you put up a post. After that the edit button disappears. Irritating to have to look at your typos for all time!

If you want to elucidate, do so now. Some people won't read down to your second post, but some of us will. Or start a new post if you want to refine your question.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 6:24:51 PM   
ItalianSMistress


Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		I consider myself to be rather sadistic and think I have been that way for a long while.  For as long as I can remember.  I find its always there, the urge to be sadistic, however, there are certain times that it is stronger than others.  For example, I am a sexual sadist, so if I am turned on, the urge increases.  The more turned on I get, the more intense the need for sadism.  Other things can trigger it too, like if I see something…first thing that comes to mind is Hostel or Hannibal, that kinda thing.  The suffering does not always have to be sexual, but it usually is linked to my sex drive somehow. However I am not JUST a sexual sadist, I find I am a sadist in general, so even things unrelated to BDSM or sex itself can trigger it.  If I am having a bad day, or am pissed off at someone, that totally ruins it, I don’t feel the urge at all, as I am more consumed by what is going on to make me feel that way…..
 
To the OP, I started my reply a while ago, and was interrupted, so I peeked at the page again, and noticed you said it was not about yourself, but in the post, you say its you.  And if its not, why are you writing about it?  I have a feeling it is about you, and like many sadists, you learn to hide it…….  I have become sick of hiding, I know even on here, many of the sexual sadists do not understand the triggers that have nothing to do with BDSM………but, I can only be myself!

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."


http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 8:02:28 PM   
glori


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/14/2008
Status: offline 		I sure can relate.  I have feelings of wanting to be hurt, whip, knives etc.  Seems the major hangup of others when they hear of me is the fact that I AM NOT into oral sex.  Just need the pain at times.

(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 8:07:46 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

A bit about me, I am a lifelong dominant personality type of a guy. I have been involved in 3 D/s and 1 M/s relationships, totally about 12 years. I am more and more realizing that semi-regularly, I have strong urges to cause suffering, and that these urges are pleasurable to think about. What usually brings these urges on is a change in my brain, where I start getting irritable at the world and cranky feeling. Over a few days, it turns into a gnawing at my brain stem, like fingernails down a chalkboard... Then the sadistic thoughts and feelings begin and usually last for a few days... These feelings do not entail anything criminal, or anything that would make me the week's star on criminal minds... Just stuff some of you people do.


Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self?



Ya know whenever I post on here and I don't like the advice given it's always about a "friend of mine" who has issues.  jeez you can't even take responability for what you said.  Man up dude. 

I take quite a few hits here for my post and I own each and every one of them.

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 8:25:40 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

Hello all, I have a question or ten, directed at the self-proclaimed sadists among us. What causes you to have sadistic urges?


I honestly don't know. There are just some folks who would make lovely targets and I'd like to beat the crap out of them or at least make them bleed a little. 

quote:

Is it the same trigger every time? Or, is it a constant need?


Not for me. Different days I have different moods. Sometimes it's person oriented, sometimes it's a timing thing (never underestimate opportunity!) and sometimes it's something else. It's not constant for me though and if I can't engage, it's not a big deal.

quote:

Is it a combination of many differing factors, depending on your mood, the weather, how spicy dinner was, etc. or what? How do you know how far to take your urges? What is the line for you, between expressing your sadism in a "healthy" way, and abuse?


The line for me is the consent. As long as my victim.. er.. um.. partner says yes, it's all good.



quote:

Am I odd, and in need of immediate help, or just new at realizing my sadistic self?


Those are not exclusive so it could be both. If you're worried, talk to someone professional about it and then go from there. Won't hurt.. might help.


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 8:34:20 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		If you go to the B site and go to the Technique section, you will find a question that is very similar asked by TheEnlightened1.

(I'm just sayin'...)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 8:55:42 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Alabaster skin, obsidian hair, ruby lips, crimson rivers drawn with a sharp instrument to the pleasant sound of agonizing screams. Nah, I have no problem with my sadistic side. Any volunteers?

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to TheVoiceofOne)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 9:04:04 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

This is the part I find troubling. You're looking to vent your "irritable at the world and cranky feeling" on another person. There's something not quite right there.

Why is it not quite right?

If he is doing/getting what he wants, and his partner is doing/getting what he/she wants....what makes it wrong?

a bit off the original topic.........all this talk of pain, blood, pain...beatings...sadistic urges............shit....ya'll sure know how to stir up the enthusiasm

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How To: expressing your sadistic desires - 12/4/2008 11:05:04 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		I agree.

As far as the talking, I want to do my crimson masterpiece to Snow White Queen by Evanesance. Just too hot.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

This is the part I find troubling. You're looking to vent your "irritable at the world and cranky feeling" on another person. There's something not quite right there.

Why is it not quite right?

If he is doing/getting what he wants, and his partner is doing/getting what he/she wants....what makes it wrong?

a bit off the original topic.........all this talk of pain, blood, pain...beatings...sadistic urges............shit....ya'll sure know how to stir up the enthusiasm


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 20
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