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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 3:58:11 PM   
oceanwynds


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Happy birthday sexisubi. Sagitarius people are a riot.:)

I am not looking and don't really read profiles or journals
Turn offs for me though are whiners and complainers. Victim mentality will cause me to run. I am the type that will look for the pony in all the manure, eternally optimistic. I can though accept journal writing about a day gone wrong etc. It happens, and it too is part of our life.

oceanwynds

(in reply to sexisubi)
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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 4:37:38 PM   
Padriag


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

one more question, is there anything that turns you off when you look at a profile? (that was my next question... directed to anyone who wants to answer really.)

One thing that will just about instantly rule someone out is having what I consider to be stupid things as hard limits... I've seen a surprising number put things like bird watching, housekeeping, flea markets, etc. as hard limits which I personally consider to be inappropriate and a sign the person either isn't serious or is very shallow... either way I doubt their head is where I would want it to be.  With all the hundreds of other submissives to choose from, I have little motive to investigate further.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 4:40:09 PM   
kidwithknife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi
For those that are looking for a partner on CM, does it ever turn you off when you see negitive writing in profiles or journals?

And if it doesnt turn you off, does it make you more intreged and make you want to message them?
It looks like I'm going to be flying a sole flag for negativity here.    Well, kinda.

It depends on how it's done.

I like negativity if it's well written, sarcastic, amusing and interesting.  Preferably with at least a dash of irony.  That makes me want to message someone more.

On the other hand dull, or even worse whiny, negativity just makes me move on quickly.

quote:

is there anything that turns you off when you look at a profile?


Lots of things.  Some of which are pretty universal, I suspect.  Some which are down to my own quirks.  And some of which are just petty.

Not making even a vague attempt at good spelling and grammar.

Having numbers in the username.  (Extra negative points if the number in question is "69").

Excessive use of 1337/txt spk

Talking about an ex.

Liking bands I absolutely despise.

Only talking about BDSM, with no mention of other interests.

Anything along the lines of "I don't really read books".

"ONLY MESSAGE ME IF YOU'RE GENUINE"

But the main issue I have is profiles that don't really do anything wrong.  They just have nothing in them to catch my attention or differentiate them from hundreds of similar profiles.

I could go on, but that's probably enough negativity for one post. 

And happy birthday!

(in reply to sexisubi)
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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 5:27:01 PM   
sblady


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Although I'm not seeking anyone, a lot of negativity is a turnoff.  I understand why people have negative comments in their journals, especially if they've been disappointed or are receiving rude e-mails.  However, that may make them receive even more "junk". 

When I first joined Collarme, I'd written a few negative comments in my journal.  I removed them as that's not how I want to present myself, plus the people that caused me to have negative feelings weren't worth the space.  Negative things happen on line as well as in real life but I don't use this as my medium to vent. 

I'm not saying people shouldn't vent or have negativity in their journals as they are certainly free to write whatever they chose. 


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Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. Dalai Lama





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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 5:57:14 PM   
MidMichCowboy


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I"m looking for a realistic idea of what a person is about. If its all bouncy and happy ... I think serial killer. If its all depressed and sad, life's a bitch for that person. If it's introspective .. I read it and learn about them. If its bragging ... move on.

No one can be everything. That's why I like to read the profile (with more than just a checklist), and their posts on the boards.

Me, I use mine to dump in. I've given up impressing anyone or trying any how.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 6:10:15 PM   
peppermint


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There is a profile from a Dom who lives in the same state i live in during summer.  The whole thing is negative.  No one acts as he feels they should act.  No one answers his mails as he expects them to answer.  No one understands the duties expected of a slave....etc. 

I have often been tempted to write to him and offer some hopefully helpful advice about the turn off his profile is...but figure he's probably too high and mighty that he wouldn't bother.  If others get the same vibes as i do from the profile, no wonder i've been seeing the same profile and same negativism for 3 years now. 

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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 6:11:54 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


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~fast reply~

Definite turn-off, even when looking for friends. I like interesting people. Depression, misery, and angst are boring.

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 6:12:58 PM   
persephonee


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Thats prolly when you started to impress us, Sexy.

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And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 6:15:28 PM   
persephonee


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Happy birthday dearone...

i absolutely get turned off completely by whiney journal entries...in a dominant man, i want to see stoicism and wisdom...not petulance and bitching about the meanassed girls on here....she-it...we are submissive women...if you cant get cooperation out of a submissive...just who the hell do you think you can dominate?? Sheesh.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to sexisubi)
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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 6:16:02 PM   
moonvine


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I've been seeing the same profiles for years, but those people have also been seeing mine for years..heh.

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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 7:02:15 PM   
MarcEsadrian


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Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

So i was looking at profiles today just because the picture topic made me think and i thought i would run around and veiw some pictures. i also have a thing with journal entries, i think they are fun to read and it tells you a lot about a person. However, many of them are soo negitive and i was wondering... first: i was thinking of writing a journal entry about it but before i do...

For those that are looking for a partner on CM, does it ever turn you off when you see negitive writing in profiles or journals?



Negative profiles, to put it simply, are negative. A laundry list of nos and nots combined I's and me's tends to have an adverse affect upon the reader, even if the reader nods understandably to the points made. I personally don't want to help a querier out by providing her hints about what not to do; I consider it a more honest test to see if she has the natural sense not to commit any number of painfully obvious faux pas or clichés.

P.s. Happy birthday.

(in reply to sexisubi)
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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 7:43:38 PM   
Lashra


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If its a single entry that does not bother me, if its a pattern throughout then I begin to wonder. I particularly do not like to see people bashing their past Dominants or subs repeatedly. It makes me wonder if perhaps the profiler has a habit of getting involved with the wrong people.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 7:52:57 PM   
mc1234


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I love positive journal entries.  I'm contemplating putting up one now.  I had some on an old profile I had, but I deleted that profile and lost them.  I'd stay positive; negativity weighs it down, especially if it's in a 'woe is me' vein of thought.

(in reply to sexisubi)
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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 10:49:11 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

~fast reply~

Definite turn-off, even when looking for friends. I like interesting people. Depression, misery, and angst are boring.

And you still converse with me??




_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 10:56:25 PM   
DavanKael


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I really want to say something witty to your post, NZ, I really, really do but I am sleepy, so I'm afraid, if you wish to accept it, I'm gonna have to settle for a < hug > and a <smirk > 
  Davan

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RE: what do you think? - 12/4/2008 11:00:03 PM   
NihilusZero


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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I really want to say something witty to your post, NZ, I really, really do but I am sleepy, so I'm afraid, if you wish to accept it, I'm gonna have to settle for a < hug > and a <smirk > 
Davan




_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: what do you think? - 12/5/2008 3:43:00 AM   
sexisubi


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Thank you all very much for the birthday comments btw!

and these are some great postings please add if you wish i'll still be reading.

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

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RE: what do you think? - 12/5/2008 7:52:12 AM   
stella41b


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From: SW London (UK)
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I think it's the fault of the dominants and things would be much much much better if they behaved a lot better. I mean each time you try to make contact with someone professing to be dominant, what do you get? You get them trying to boss you around and some of them want to do other stuff like hit you and shove different stuff up you.

I've given up with this site. Honestly. Tried to meet dommes. So you try and try and nothing happens, and then you get one and she agrees to meet you. She gets you back to her place and then she starts acting all bossy. So okay, I try and do what she says and then what happens?

SHE HITS ME!!!

She gets out this horsewhip and just lays into me. Whack! Whack! Whack! I did everything she told me, and I still get hit. I don't understand this. I think maybe she's got some sort of emotional disturbance or something. So I try to help her, and do what she tells me to, because the way I see it this is the only way she can express that she needs help. And then what does she do? She starts criticizing me and taking the piss. I mean really.

She tells me to lie on the bed, and so I lie on the bed. Guess what? I'm lying there thinking that she wants to go to sleep or something, but she gets out some rope and she starts tying me up. Lady, I'm already lying on the bed, what more do you want? So okay, I want to know what's going on here, and so I lie there, say nothing, let her tie me up, thinking this will make her happy. Then what does she do?

She gags me. I mean she takes this snooker ball attached to leather straps and shoves it in my mouth. I mean, I wasn't even talking at the time! WTF!!!!??? Then she produces this cane and starts whacking me with it. It hurts. I tell her to stop because it's hurting me, and I wriggle about and yell out, and she just keeps whacking me with this cane. This is a problem with dominants, very few of them listen to you. Too wrapped up in what they're doing I guess. But she's there whacking me with this cane all over my bottom and legs and smiling, as if this is some sort of fun. I try to reason with her, but you know it's hard to have a conversation with someone when you've got a snooker ball in your mouth.

I'm lying there terrified that she wants to kill me. Then she stops hitting me with this cane and I think this is all over. I'm so relieved. Then what does she do? She only goes and lights a candle. WTF!!!??? We're there in the bedroom, there isn't a power cut, the bedroom lamp is on, and this woman wants to light up a candle? Weird!

Only she hasn't lit the candle to light up the room, but she's just stood there, dropping hot wax on my sore tushy, and it hurts, and I try to tell her to stop but I've got this snooker ball in my mouth and it's making any sort of effective communication difficult. And so I manage to say, 'Glees glock.. Yo her hing hee.. Glees!' She stops. Then she takes this snooker ball with leather straps out of my mouth, unties me, and then she starts to get all affectionate and starts cuddling me and soothing my bottom. I mean, WTF!!!??? One minute she wants to hurt me, and then the next she's acting all kind and gentle as if nothing ever happened.

This isn't an isolated incident either. Every time I've met a dominant woman she's either started to boss me about, or hit me, and I get messages from these guys who are also dom and they want to do similar things to me.

I'm sorry, but I've got to admit this, all dominants are raving mad, they total and complete and utter loonies, the lot of them! None of them have got a clue what it's really like to be in a relationship, because they're too damn busy trying to boss other people about, hit them with various objects and stick things in them.

You cannot be too careful here either, because some of them are dead persuasive and some of them are deceptive too. They post on these boards all nicey nicey, and some of them pretend to be nice to your face as well, but on the other side some of them drop this 'niceness' and start sending you messages with phrases such as 'kneel bitch' and 'hello slut'. I mean is that the way to talk to people? You wouldn't walk up to a female police officer and say 'kneel bitch' would you now?

I'm a submissive and I can say that this isn't our fault.. but the fault of the dominants. We submissives are nice people, we like being nice, we are always prepared to be reasonable, and usually we will do anything you ask us. We just like pleasing people.

Happy belated birthday to the OP.. and take my advice. Be very careful with dominants. They're dangerous people.


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(in reply to oceanwynds)
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RE: what do you think? - 12/5/2008 7:56:38 AM   
camille65


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From: Austin Texas
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Stella I really enjoyed that post!

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RE: what do you think? - 12/5/2008 8:02:15 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
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From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

one more question, is there anything that turns you off when you look at a profile? (that was my next question... directed to anyone who wants to answer really.)

One thing that will just about instantly rule someone out is having what I consider to be stupid things as hard limits... I've seen a surprising number put things like bird watching, housekeeping, flea markets, etc. as hard limits which I personally consider to be inappropriate and a sign the person either isn't serious or is very shallow... either way I doubt their head is where I would want it to be.  With all the hundreds of other submissives to choose from, I have little motive to investigate further.


Alas, dear Padriag, I have lusted from afar...

But perhaps the person listed housekeeping as a hard limit as a joke...because of a certain thread that was up, and just kept it there because it makes her giggle?

Perhaps...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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