RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you?

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RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you? - 4/2/2006 10:12:01 PM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Ahhh ...now I understand...Thank you for answering such a personal question.It also clarified your posting about lifestyle frienship and and your viewpoint on it....respectfully...tempting

your welcome

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you? - 4/3/2006 6:20:54 AM

Angeni

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Joined: 3/11/2006
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Greetings :)

For myself, I do not make a distinction between those who are withing the lifestyle and those who are not. They are either friends, or they are not; it matters not what kind of lifestyle they live. With that in mind, I am a very reserved person, even with those whom I call friend. I have often been told that my reserve comes across as seeming to be snobbery. I do not share of myself lightly, which in turn makes the forming of friendships one that is hard for myself. Are there different degrees of friendship? For myself, I would have to say no. In my own experiences, I have yet to look at someone and say 'they are a sort of friend'. Along this same line, I have never introduced someone as 'a friend' unless I completly felt that this was accurate. As for what I need to call someone a friend. That is a bit harder to pin down. I have acquaintances that I have known for 20 years, yet I would not call them friend. And yet, I have friends that I have known for just a few short years, to just a few short months. To add to this, there are one or two that I have never met in RL, and yet, I call them friend. Why this is so, I could not say, except to maybe offer up that the connection that is felt between us is strong enough to validate such a claim. I have never tried to analyze the reasons why though. Just my own humble thoughts and experiences.

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RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you? - 4/3/2006 7:15:53 AM

ownedgirlie

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A friend to me is someone who is emotionally safe for me. i also do not differentiate "lifestyle friends" vs. any other kind of friend. You are either a friend or you are not, and our friendship will encompass all areas of both of our lives. i have two very close friends who are not involved in D/s at all. They don't even fully understand it. When i decided to share with them who and what i am, they both said the same thing: "I don't care what you are, as long as you keep being you." These are friends who aren't afraid to challenge me or disagree with me, but who will always do so lovingly. Both of them thought my former marriage was grossly unhealthy for me, but who didn't judge me for staying in it as they knew i was not strong enough to leave yet. They stayed the course, listened to my grief over it, dried my tears, and hugged me time and time again, and when i finally did leave, they were there every step of the way. One of my friends told me just last weekend, "I was waiting for you to see that you could let me in."

i don't share with them all the things i do for my Master as they would not understand it and would not be able to contribute the insight i gain from others in forums like this. That's what i come here for :)

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RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you? - 4/3/2006 7:18:06 AM

plantlady64

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Joined: 5/19/2005
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quote:

What is a Lifestyle friendship for you?

This question for me much like the train of KnightofMists thinking is not the same question as what is a real friendship for you would be.
Lifestyle friends I've found in the little over a year I've been in the life are mostly acquaintances for me.
I feel as I have only made two real friends of lifestyle people so far. Mind you I have a huge community around me with genuinely nice people in it. I have lots of people I respect and enjoy the company of in public events, but with all the different ideas and lifestyles of people it's hard to find ones in your geographic area that you feel are aligned with your morals, choices & values.
When you say friend it's really a sliding scale sort of response that works best for me.
Anyone can be your friend. Few make it to the inner sancuary of our close cell of those we feel safe to be ourselves fully with. I appreciate and enjoy both feeling like I'm part of a community & the close knit group of lifestyle and vanilla people I consider my inner group of trusted friends.
Suzanne

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RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you? - 4/3/2006 11:45:24 AM

pickypetite

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Joined: 2/14/2006
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MMMM....have to agree (KOM) I have many friends they are all vanilla and deafs as well as those who are hearings....however it was intersting to ask certian things and would find out their dislikes fast....but in this lifestyle it all depends on chemistry;etc. although it isnt always necessary for one to want friendship or really need it to maintain the lifestyle as some do while others dont.

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