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M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 1:36:17 AM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met? Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 1:39:26 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met? Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?


Distinction between sub/slave:

subs have the power - the power to say no - not now - not ever - no no no

slaves have the power to do nothing other that do what they are trained to do.

Many here will not agree with me, I'm an extremist.

Which appeals to you? The answer to that answers your question.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 2:12:25 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		If my needs weren't being met, I would not be in this relationship.

I love to make Master happy, but I also have needs of my own - to be loved, cared for, appreciated. If those things are taken care of, I am much more likely to want to please Him more, than if I were ignored and taken for granted. I had that in my nilla marriage, no more of that for me, ever!

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 3:48:04 AM   
phoenixslave


Posts: 66
Joined: 6/13/2004
Status: offline 		when i first explored my sub side i encountered many different kinds of tops but the majority looked only to their needs. i became a slave when i met an incredible man who knew that looking out for mine put me that much deeper into his hold . i am more at his feet than i ever was standing on my own. He builds me up as a person and in valuing his property his property becomes that much more valuable. He owns my body, mind, heart and trust. Many would disagree or choose another way. The key is finding the right person for whatever "style" makes you the best you can be.

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 3:55:11 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
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quote:

i am more at his feet than i ever was standing on my own. He builds me up as a person and in valuing his property his property becomes that much more valuable. He owns my body, mind, heart and trust.


Beautifully said phoenix. I often say my pedestal is at my Master's feet.

I will share the greatest lesson learned yet from a dear slave friend. M/s may seem one-sided but once you really get it you know that it is not one-sided at all.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 3:55:48 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met? Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?


comon sense tells me that when something feeds only one it wont last long.

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 4:26:27 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		When will people learn? Two people in a relationship = two sets of needs.


_____________________________

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- Albert Einstein

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 4:51:36 AM   
1wildwolf


Posts: 120
Joined: 6/30/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		concurs....i find it hard to see how one could enjoy a relationship where one's needs were ignored completely (and if people do enjoy a relationship where their needs are ignored...then isn't that the relationship they do really need?)

a Dom/me's needs may often come first...but this doesn't mean a sub's needs can be ignored

wildwolf

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 5:54:24 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 1wildwolf

concurs....i find it hard to see how one could enjoy a relationship where one's needs were ignored completely (and if people do enjoy a relationship where their needs are ignored...then isn't that the relationship they do really need?)

a Dom/me's needs may often come first...but this doesn't mean a sub's needs can be ignored

wildwolf


I often like to say "its all about me" but the reality is that Fox (or any slave I have) must also agree with that and get a lot out of it. Otherwise, there's the door there is nothing in the greater society I live in to prevent a slave from walking out and leaving the relationship. I would argue that we have equal power in this relationship -- I have the authority however.

Plus I personally think that good owners want slaves that are the best they can be -- emotionally, intellectually, physically and otherwise. This means thinking about them and making decisions based on what is good for the slave as well.



_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 5:58:55 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met? Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?


Everyone has needs. The key is finding the 'M' whose needs are met by the 's' while the 's' has his or her needs met by the 'M'. Other people may not be privvy to what those needs are, and from the outside that relationship may appear to be "lopsided" but that doesnt mean needs arent being met.
Another key concept here is the definition of the word "need" as it relates to the particular couple, or at least, what you mean when you said "needs" in the OP.
And then of course we might want to agree on a definition of the word "slave".
While we are at it, we might want to define "definition".
Questions begging for broad, sweeping generalizations as answers usually, by nature, go at least partially unanswered. And if they are seemingly answered completely by someone seemingly very very much an authority on that particular broad and sweepingly general subject, it would be my advice to throw that seemingly complete answer out with the bathwater.
Sorry I cant say anything more specific than that.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 6:10:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfie648

quote:

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met? Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?


Distinction between sub/slave:

subs have the power - the power to say no - not now - not ever - no no no

slaves have the power to do nothing other that do what they are trained to do.

Many here will not agree with me, I'm an extremist.

Which appeals to you? The answer to that answers your question.

D (owner of j)

I disagree simply because all subs and slaves have all the power that they always had. They just don't have the authority.

Slaves have lots of power to do lots of things they were never trained to do by their master. It's whether they are ALLOWED to do them or not that becomes the issue.

And yes, fulfilling relationships are about everyone's needs being met.

(in reply to Wolfie648)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 7:32:41 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

subs have the power - the power to say no - not now - not ever - no no no

slaves have the power to do nothing other that do what they are trained to do.


In agreement with this.

Now, in any relationship, there are always two people, including those of Master/slave. It takes two to make the relationship work. If the slave was not getting what he/she wanted also, it would not be working. Same goes for a Dom/sub relationship.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 7:37:18 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met?


well, in THIS M/s relationship this slave has the "need" for food, liquids, shelter & occasional "medicine". everything else is considered a WANT and expendable. If Master wants OR needs something that this slave's service can provide than she is "johnny-on-the-spot" to attend to it.

HOWEVER, once you define the word "needs" for yourself, your situation could be very different.

quote:

Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?


you will get perspectives on both sides of the fence on this--because it is one of those things that is unique to the particular M/s relationship you are talking about. some "slaves" are there SOLELY to get their needs and list of demands met and some are there SOLELY to serve at Master's direction.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 7:43:00 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		but a slaves needs are being met if she is at a Masters feet.
if the fire in the belly is quenched by serving her ONE.........
then she is doing what it is she is to be doing
to fight being a slave when that is your nature is NOT a good thing

there is one concern after you give consent to Master...that is his needs

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 8:12:13 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
there is one concern after you give consent to Master...that is his needs

That's a nice thing to say, but not very realistic.

I like to put it as "there is only one ULTIMATE concern"

However, we still have all the other concerns to deal with. Yes, as long as I am with an owner, then I can rely on my needs being met and do not have to directly concern myself with it, as long as I am attending to HIS needs and desires (which include a need and desire to have me as a fulfilled slave) then things will be taken care of.

This doesn't mean I can no longer CONCERN myself with other things. His way of making sure my needs are met might be by telling me "go and get a job and keep finances together and make sure thing's get done right."

That means *I* have to concern myself with day to day issues and making sure things are done right.

As well, no matter how awesome a master I may have, no one will take away concerns for my family members and loved ones if they get hurt or are sick. I can be as devoted a slave as possible, and still be sad to not see my nephews.

So it sure SOUNDS nice to say "a slave only has to concern herself with making sure the masters needs are met" but in real life, concerns don't just go away because you are with a good and capable master. They simply get redirected and reprioritized.

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 8:30:50 AM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met? Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?


The slave strives to meet the needs of his/her Master, but in doing so, is having his/her own needs met also. So it's a give and take relationship.


(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 10:11:38 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met?


well, in THIS M/s relationship this slave has the "need" for food, liquids, shelter & occasional "medicine". everything else is considered a WANT and expendable. If Master wants OR needs something that this slave's service can provide than she is "johnny-on-the-spot" to attend to it.



I agree with this. I consider food, water, shelter, and meds to be needs and everything else to be wants and desires and to for the most part be available or subject to what he wants (it doesn't mean he controls it but its available if he wants to).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 10:30:50 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		When two people come together...M/s D/s truly together, than the needs of both are met and there is no two....as the mind, body, soul and heart...become and beat as one.

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 12:40:07 PM   
wonderz


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		ive often wondered why so many relationships do seem onsided. my profile is not all correct for i came to Cm to meet others and to learn more. Ive lived with a man for a many years and it is always His way or no way. Im very dependent on Him now for I no longer work outside the home by His choice though He made it seem like my choice. I have no friends outside of Him and online and I know a lot of you are going to raise your eyes at that one. I just want to make friends. I love Him though im not all that happy all the time. I get lonely......but I manage.

(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: M/s needs? - 12/27/2005 1:19:41 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

In an M/s relationship is it only about the Masters needs being met? Or is about both the Master and sub/slave having their needs met?



I'm going to answer this one... without reading any others. I am a believer in the Master always being pleased, first and formost. And this is where I get my pleasure from most.

But as far as when first meeting.... on line, off line, starting up a possible relationship. I had to know that I was being pleased as well. Not only sexually, but mentally.

I had to know that Master seen me for something more than something to please him sexually. That I could do so also mentally. Master needed to show me that I wanted to be his. He went for my mind. Allowed conversation. Opinion allowed to be voiced. If I didn't understand or know something, I am allowed to question. Because it's all still new. Our relationship is still expanding. We're still learning things about each other.

But I love that our relationship isn't based all on sexual pleasures. We like that we are interrested in the same music, movies, being single parents and being able to talk about things on so many other levels. But all though that sounds so "Vanilla" to some. The hidden part is knowing that all the while, I am and always will be his slave. His personal property.

Knowing that during the duration of anything going on, he can still make me want to serve him. Either it be to stop whatever i'm doing to get him a drink, not out of laziness... but because he knows I find pleasure in serving him in all ways. From major to minor. I know he would go get his own drink if he wanted to. And if I'm really busy he will. But he knows I love to do things like this for him as well. I get pleasure, mentally, in being able to do something so small for him. And he knows I will never roll my eyes, and tell him i'm busy, or go get it yourself.

Master knows I love to be mentally challenged. I've lived a more dominant life for so many years being a single mother. That being his slave.. being able to bring that back to surface in my life.. is a challenge.

So to think it's all just sexual, i think is shallow. Being a slave to Master means more to me than sex, and i'm thankful it means more to him than just sex as well. Though sex makes it all good too... don't get me wrong. Being able to please Master in all other aspects of live. Allows me to be more open and submissive to him sexually so that we both get our needs fullfilled.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 12/27/2005 1:31:33 PM >

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