RE: Daily Rituals of Submission?

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/11/2008 9:55:30 AM

Mercnbeth

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this slave's daily rituals have nothing to do with decompressing from outside employment(there is none) or transitioning from one "mode" to another(this slave only has one mode-submissive).

every ritual (daily, weekly or monthly) this slave participates in is done for His pleasure and enjoyment. if it happens to deepen her submission to Him at the same time, it's a bonus, but not the stated goal. His pleasure is the goal.

as an example, the daily ritual of serving His coffee with whipped cream on both nipples isn't done to reaffirm this slave's position or put her in the "right" headspace---it's done, simply because it brings Him joy.
meditation, a brisk walk after coming home from work, breathing excercises, seem to work well for some folks(submissive, dominant or neither) to alleviate stress...others look to their MD for medication.
best of luck to you!!!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/11/2008 9:56:00 AM >

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/11/2008 2:03:46 PM

DesFIP

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Switching from mother/stepmother/wife to sub isn't that easy for me. Most of the rituals aren't going to work simply because we always have the teens around; varying numbers of them.

I've seen people say kneel by the bed and ask permission to enter but that doesn't give me enough time to transition mindset. I need more than that one minute to switch. And truthfully I have a lot of trouble getting there on my own. What works for me is physical control. If he grabs me by the throat, I will relax and submit a lot faster then if I'm getting into bed still worrying about the dryer needing repairs or if there'll be school tomorrow with the weather threatening.

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/11/2008 9:45:29 PM

loveandlight87

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tsatske:

I agree:

“There is nothing wrong with a submissive presenting suggested rituals. Rituals are supposed to work for BOTH people. Her Master wants her to have a ritual because of something SHE needs - therefore, the ritual must work for HER. having her suggest some sounds like a good way to encourage the communication that will help foster that.
Turning to other people in the community to ask 'what do you do' is a valid way to get your mind thinking through options. Maybe someone makes the PERFECT suggestion. But, if not, your mind is now traveling the right road, and you find it on your own.”

suessub:

Nicely stated.

“Regardless of whether it is vanilla, D/s or M/s, both partners in a relationship have to take active responsibility to setting up and maintaining it. That means when the submissive identifies a problem, as CaraCaeth has done here, she would do her and her Master a disservice not to work at finding a solution.”

DesFIP:

Me too!!

“What works for me is physical control. If he grabs me by the throat, I will relax and submit a lot faster then if I'm getting into bed still worrying about the dryer needing repairs or if there'll be school tomorrow with the weather threatening.”

I have a similar issue as the OP (as well as some of the others who have posted). I work a very demanding job, volunteer in a capacity that is not conducive to submission and am the guardian of a teen. A hand around the throat or a fist full of hair that drops me to my knees, puts me in the submissive mindset in record time! My life is pretty crazy so finding a ritual that I could incorporate effectively would be … hmmm ... challenging.

love

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/11/2008 9:47:20 PM

loveandlight87

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PS:

I am looking forward to reading more about this topic. I find it challenging as well.

love

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/11/2008 9:56:10 PM

starshineowned

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Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
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Greetings..

Thats a really hard one in the way you have presented it cara. I only have one mode/mindset no matter whats going on in life, and thats I am his slave.

I have times when I do need to decompress, and if I need to talk with Master to help with that..then it's as a slave talking to their Master.

I only have 1 standing ritual and thats at bedtime I must submit naked at his feet in the position he trained me, and let him know I am ready for bed. Everything else done that would I guess seem ritualistic (like putting on his work boots in the morning and helping undress him in the evening when he comes home as he tells me of his day is just to me really part of my doing whatever is needed to make his day go better or get him relaxed and comfortable faster.

I guess if you have time in your drive home..get a tape of some romantic type love songs that really strike a chord with you to help you melt down into the softer side.
Take a hot bubbly bath closing your eyes and caress yourself as if it were his hands upon you.
Lay on the bed and masturbate if your allowed, and then either write down what you were fantasizing about while doing it for him to read or share it with him verbally while at his feet when your both comfy and settled for the night.
These are just some decompressing things. I have to agree as some others have stated that the actual rituals if they are to have meaning for you both should come from your Master or atleast you both discussing possibles.

Good Luck

starshine

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/12/2008 2:20:16 AM

Sunnyfey

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have you thought of something you can do on your way home to help you get in the submissive mindset? Like a play list, or a particular erotic book on tape? something along those lines maybe. just an idea

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/12/2008 3:30:45 AM

jesiul

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Holding and intensely high paced position in a company and letting go of the stress such a career creates can more than just difficult. I found it almost impossible to commute home from a job where I was in control of near 200 employees, walk in the door and be in a submissive mind set.

I think the hardest part was taking my mind off all the things I had to do at work the next day, what needed to be done at home and letting go of the control I maintain and the structure I hold in daily life.

Routines and schedules are how I organize my life, giving veto power to another over those is the most complex part of being submissive I encounter. Yet it is this very thing that I require so that I can free myself of constant worry, stress and tension.

Being put into the position of serving, dinner, cleaning and other such types of service only made me hold on to those routines and schedules, keeping me in control of striving for perfection.

What my last Dom and I found that worked best for me was to take me out of the routine, the self imposed schedules, the habits that would not allow me to let go of being in control of everyone and everything at work.

Small things worked best, calling me and telling me we where eating out, or not to cook dinner until 7pm instead of the schedules 6pm. To take a bath when I got home ( instead of shower) have a glass of wine, light a candle and watch TV for 30min, get on line and answer only personal emails. Some of the things he worked out could be when the kids where around and others when they where not.

Mostly it was having me let go of my agenda and adhering to his, which meant taking time for me, something I have a tendency to neglect.

Being put in charge of taking care of my own needs because I was told to, let me off the hook for breaking the schedule, freeing me to feel the tenderness of my Dom, his thoughts for me thereby liberating to find the mind set required to decompress.

Thus it took away the pressures of the day, work, kids and having to be in control and letting me become accountable only to him as his submissive.

To have added another thing to my plate such as a ritual to be done every night would have only kept me running on the “be in charge of” mindset, instead of “he is in charge I don’t need to be”.

It is all in finding what works for you… this worked for me.

~jesi~

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/13/2008 10:15:40 AM

CaraCaeth

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Ok, apparently i need to clarify a couple of things before WWIII starts, lol. First of all, Master did not leave the responisibility of finding a ritual solely up to me. Nothing i do is ever solely my responsibility to answer, address, or fix.

To give a little more background, Master and i have been together for about a year and a half now. W/we live together in a 24/7 relationship; however, as i said it's a little modified due to both my job and the fact that i have two little *ums*. W/we are also engaged to be married. i am also His registered slave.

Master and i agreed a long time ago that i would be allowed to voice my opinion, come up with suggestions, and have input into O/our life. However, the final decision - regardless of my opinion - is always His. And that is why i'm on here looking for suggestions; not because Master is not taking an interest, but because i want to have options to present to Him.

W/we already have some type of rituals W/we do. i recite Him a morning and afternoon affirmation every day, and i also have rituals like lotioning and massaging His feet that i do most nights. But what i'm looking for is more along the lines of something phyiscal and mental that not only reinforces my position but also let's me transition more smoothly. i know my place and do understand my position. But, it's hard when you are yelling and screaming (W/we both are in the military) at people at work then come home and flip into the slave mode. i do eventually get into the mindset of servitude, but i want it to be a little more faster and smoother than it has been.

i would also like to say thanks to all the suggestions everyone has given me already.

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RE: Daily Rituals of Submission? - 12/26/2008 1:27:23 PM

nalla06

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i was having the same problem, and Sir and i have started this just recently. As soon as i walk in the door and take my shoes off, my cushion is to be placed in front of Him and i kneel down. Placing my head in His lap, i let go to the out side world. It may take 15 min or more, but helps to transend the gap.

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