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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/16/2008 5:03:51 PM

kristileigh

Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
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yes i have doubted.
i have doubted rather i was a good submissive to Master.
He has reassured me that i am doing just fine and to quit doubting myself.

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proud submissive/slave belonging heart and soul to
Master Chris!

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/16/2008 5:39:19 PM

stardancer00

Posts: 60
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

i do not doubt my orientation in life, which is to be of service, to be of use, and use my skills and talents for others, regardless of whether that is in the outer world or in an intimate relationship. i have done this by being the submissive/slave to another, but also have provided the service of dominance for another as well. Doubt is very useful, however, as it keeps one from becoming fixed and stale. i see my self as a process which changes over time. Certainty also has its uses, but not when it becomes the destroyer of one's creativity and fluidity.

(in reply to kristileigh)

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/16/2008 8:09:43 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kristileigh

yes i have doubted.
i have doubted rather i was a good submissive to Master.
He has reassured me that i am doing just fine and to quit doubting myself.

i am good doing that too kristileigh
In fact just went through that this weekend and he said about the same thing to me, that your Master says.
I still though wonder, but perhaps this is normal at times to wonder?

(in reply to kristileigh)

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/16/2008 8:15:04 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy
I was just wondering...esp if new and have never been owned; but I would also like to hear from those who ARE owned and long in the lifestyle...

I have doubts about my "dominance" sometimes, but then I just think.... what am I doubting? Am I doubting my ability to fit into some description of what a dominant person is? Is that description accurate? Who is the ideal dominant person? Am I trying to put myself into a mold I don't fit in?

Just be yourself. It's a cliche, but think about it, and do it. You're already fine, however you are. Don't worry about the submissive label - you could ask 100 people and get 90 or more different definitions. You're you, the end. When looking for a relationship, tell and show the other person who you are, rather than trying to label it. Labelling yourself in two or three words is impossible, and only useful for forms, like when filling out your profile here on CM. I put "male" and "dominant" and "heterosexual" because they're the closest to describing me that the form allowed. But there are thousands of profiles with those exact labels attached, and none of them are me.

I really enjoyed the advice you gave the OP, Normaloutside. I can use it myself, and have copied and paste in my submissive folder. Thank you for your words.

oceanwynds

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/17/2008 4:33:13 AM

Roguescharm

Posts: 82
Joined: 12/5/2008
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I don't doubt my submissive side so much as that I should pursue it. The kinds of things I fantasize about rather fly in the face of how I was raised, and that has lead to quite a conflict going on inside of me.
I have no doubt it will resolve itself, but I can't say it's particularly pleasant right now.

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"There's nothing more dangerous than someone who wants to make the world a better place."
— Banksy

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/17/2008 4:43:02 AM

subatheart77

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/7/2008
Status: offline

New, but now that I know: no doubt whatsoever. Just questions.

(in reply to VampiresLair)

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/17/2008 5:42:21 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Fast reply

No doubt..think i agree with some others that have posted..sometimes i wonder if im being submissive enough...but then i think..hey relax...and when master asks me to do something its pretty apparent to me just how much a slave(submissive) I am.
fyi: i think slavery is an actual term for the "action" of being submissive..confuses me a bit when there appears to be a differentiation.

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Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/17/2008 7:19:23 AM

Gwynssoftandshy

Posts: 173
Joined: 12/8/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

she is 42.

~smiles~ i just realized, beth, that for now you are the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

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RE: Do you ever have doubts about your submissiveness? - 12/17/2008 7:29:05 AM

urlittleprincess

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/18/2007
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i dont doubt my own submissiveness...but i do doubt the way it is accepted...when i left my marriage i had to stand up and start from scratch with 3 kids in tow...i became very independant...went back to school for upgrading then college/university...and then entered a very male dominated profession...no one would ever guess my submissive nature.

my friends and family do not understand my nature or why i am a certain way with Him...they have expressed that they do not like it...im just being me...so it makes me think about my submissiveness, but not doubt it...

since telling me He no longer wanted the D/s dynamic though i have been behaving quite independantly and standing up to His wishes a bit...which of course He doesn't like. if He no longer wishes the D/s dynamic then i can do as i please even if it displeases Him. i dont go out of my way to challenge His wishes, but if He wants to be vanilla sometimes He gets vanilla...normally i am just my usual self but when i want something now, i feel i can be more vocal about it...i actually broached that subject with Him this morning...told Him i feel that despite saying no more D/s, we are still very much in a D/s dynamic....when He cannot control my or my actions as He has in the past He becomes upset and we have problems...the solution?? submit to the D/s again and live happily ever after...lol

no doubts here... ;) have a wonderful day!

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