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When no means no... - 12/28/2005 9:39:02 AM   
kittean


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		I will admit.. i dont usually post things. I am a lurker by trade. But something happened today that i am having trouble dealling with. I thought i was being nice today when a man emailed me, and i took the time to respond versus just ignoring a message. Instead i got a rude response because i would not consider starting something with a person who is hundreds of miles from my home.

Now it has me wondering... am i wrong for having responded and telling him that i was not interested? i thought as a female i had a right to say no... am i wrong?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 9:43:27 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Never expect anyone online to have good email manners.

Be happily surprised when they do.

Did you really have to ask this question? Yes, I'm afraid the right thing for you to do would be to give into his 4 year old tantrum and submit immediately, repent your sins and give him the best blow job of his life.

People will say and do anything to make you do what they want- including getting angry, telling you that you are wrong, insulting you, making you doubt yourself...whatever works.

Treat this just like you would in the vanilla world you've always been in.

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 9:46:45 AM   
konekoneko


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		in vanilla situations, i usually try to be just as respectful as people are to me - while this is a bit different and i certainly wouldnt disrespect anyone, i see nothing wrong with a politely phrased refusal, even if the person in question is being a bit... dramatic.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 9:55:18 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittean

Now it has me wondering... am i wrong for having responded and telling him that i was not interested? i thought as a female i had a right to say no... am i wrong?


Female or Male.... we all have the right to say no to a stranger.

So chalk it up to just another asshole, use the ignore feature and go about your business as if he never showed his ass to you to begin with.

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 10:03:50 AM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittean

I will admit.. i dont usually post things. I am a lurker by trade. But something happened today that i am having trouble dealling with. I thought i was being nice today when a man emailed me, and i took the time to respond versus just ignoring a message. Instead i got a rude response because i would not consider starting something with a person who is hundreds of miles from my home.

Now it has me wondering... am i wrong for having responded and telling him that i was not interested? i thought as a female i had a right to say no... am i wrong?


Nope, you were not wrong
Yes, you have the right to say no



_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 10:22:09 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		A$$holes are a$$holes. Just put him on ignore and move on. And be glad the odds are against him breeding... LOL

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 10:28:07 AM   
Rassitter


Posts: 35
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittean

I will admit.. i dont usually post things. I am a lurker by trade. But something happened today that i am having trouble dealling with. I thought i was being nice today when a man emailed me, and i took the time to respond versus just ignoring a message. Instead i got a rude response because i would not consider starting something with a person who is hundreds of miles from my home.

Now it has me wondering... am i wrong for having responded and telling him that i was not interested? i thought as a female i had a right to say no... am i wrong?


Laughs* Ok, obviously you have the right to say no. I think the better question, is were you right to reply to him just to say "Not interested", and potentially bruise the lil guys fragile ego. I still think you did the right thing, I do not really send out unsolicited emails (However I will not say I have never) but it would bug me to get no response a lot more than just a "hey I was looking for someone a little closer, or different" I hope you continue to respond no matter and realize that when people that act like he did, you are lucky they were not closer to begin with. I respond to all emails, I just think it is the polite thing to do.

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 10:31:28 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		female OR male

we all have that right..to say no.


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 10:50:42 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx

And be glad the odds are against him breeding... LOL



LMAO..... good one.

(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 10:51:31 AM   
kittean


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rassitter

think you did the right thing, I do not really send out unsolicited emails (However I will not say I have never) but it would bug me to get no response a lot more than just a "hey I was looking for someone a little closer, or different" I hope you continue to respond no matter and realize that when people that act like he did, you are lucky they were not closer to begin with. I respond to all emails, I just think it is the polite thing to do.


Ya know ... i had not thought about that... i am glad he is not in maryland!! Thank you for pointing that out.. That is something that i can take away from this whole thing. It would have been more akward if he were closer.

(in reply to Rassitter)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 11:22:02 AM   
FlorentineBob


Posts: 17
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, you have the right to say "no" or "Not Interested". Don't let someones anger/dissapointment color your judgement.

At least you had the courtesy to reply.

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 11:25:40 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Sadly, I must say rude behavior online makes up a good portion of the majority behavior online. I don't see anything wrong with what you did. The one on the other end is in the wrong, if it all went down the way you described.

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 11:37:28 AM   
kittean


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

The one on the other end is in the wrong, if it all went down the way you described.


I feel uncomfortable posting the word for word in an open forum because i would not want someone to do that to me. I would not object if you would like to question me further off forum about the exact wording. I dont think i have done anything wrong so i feel no shame in offering up a more detailed explaination off list.

I am not sure what the rules are about posting word for words clips on the forum are so that is why i did not. I chose to err on the side of caution.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 11:40:12 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittean
I am not sure what the rules are about posting word for words clips on the forum are so that is why i did not. I chose to err on the side of caution.

It doesn't matter. If you keep responding, this situation will occur many times. You have to accept it as par for the course, or simply don't respond at all (and you'll still get rude emails).

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 1:15:47 PM   
roughleather


Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, get a grip. You think a guy owes you something because you "took the time to respond to his email" in which you turned him down?

That's a high level of arrogance.

[Mod Note: Insults deleted. Please refrain from posting juvenile personal attacks towards someone just because you disagree with them]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 12/28/2005 2:32:51 PM >

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 1:29:05 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well ... one of three things just happened here:

a) We found out who the rude dominant was ...

b) We just witnessed message board suicide ...

c) Both a) & b)

(in reply to roughleather)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 1:30:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Well ... one of three things just happened here:

a) We found out who the rude dominant was ...

b) We just witnessed message board suicide ...

c) Both a) & b)

Aw cmon man, now you've ruined the ending!

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 1:42:12 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Excuse Me?? I do not think she asked nor did she expect such a rude and unkind response---talk about arrogant---



_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to roughleather)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 1:45:49 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		you did the right thing to respond and be honest--and its not just the female who has the right of refusal, everyone does--if he was rude, you do not want him anyway

btw its the back of the moon, watch it the wankers will be in adundance--My advice when that happens---Stop, Drop and Block--
welcome to the posts and CM--

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 12/28/2005 1:46:24 PM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:04:10 PM   
kittean


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

Oh, get a grip. You think a guy owes you something because you "took the time to respond to his email" in which you turned him down?

That's a high level of arrogance.

I'll bet that what you're really annoyed about is that he probably put you down for being a "wide load".


I dont think he owed me anything to begin with except for the same respect that i thought i showed him. I did not tell him that i was not interested in him because of the picture he has on his profile or his personal description. I told him that i was not interested because of distance after he approached me. I did not initiate the contact. Had i done so i would not have been so upset by his comments and it would have been more understandable. I do not hide behind a fake picture or a glamour shot. My pic is fresh from the shower, hair wet and no make up. (i was wrapped in a towel and my kid was messing with my camera... it was an honest pic so i kept it) Had i misrepresented myself it would be different. I am what i am and that is all i have to offer.

I am a mom to two very busy kids... between them, carrying a full time class load in college (law and business admin majors) and a job, i will be honest ... i put myself last because it is just me and them. They are in a sport that travels a lot and practices a lot (a 6 hour practice is coming up this friday to bring the total this week to 8 hours) and practice is an hour from my home. So yeah... if i dont get to a gym (shrug) oh well... i would rather my kids have the memory of me when they are older that mom took care of them and not brushed them aside. I have been to the doctors and they have given me a clean bill of health. To lose the weight would be something i do for me, not for someone else. The dedication that i give my kids is also the dedication that one day i will give to a partner who i find to be compatable.

(ok.. i am geting off my soap box)

(in reply to roughleather)
Profile   Post #: 20
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