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RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:18:21 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I think it depends on your tolerance. I drink regularly. A beer or a glass of wine is not going to affect my perceptions or control. It's different for everyone. It should be based on what your comfort levels are.

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:22:03 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		No No and No unless there are several hours between, I do at times recommend a red wine after as it helps rejuvenate one's resources--and sharing a glass of wine or champagne makes aftercare very special IMHO

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 12/28/2005 3:23:34 PM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:39:25 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		not a good idea to mix drugs of any type (alcohol is just one of the legal ones) with bdsm. drugs affect each individual so differently that it's darn near impossible to predict the effects that will happen. best to leave the bottles (with liquids, solids, or gases in them) for another time.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:42:01 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I have a strict policy on alcohol consumption period, much less during play. I don’t drink at all for the simple fact that it was having a negative impact on my life.

Even if I did drink, I would not want to do so during play since it mutes everything, sensations, perceptions, emotions... For myself, I do not want to play if mine or the Top’s senses are dulled. Typically when my Lord and I play, we play right on the edge mentally, emotionally and physically. He pushes me in many ways every time we play. I am very comfortable playing on that edge with him because he is in control of himself.

I have been to a club where alcohol is not provided by the establishment, but the patrons can bring their own. I am very uncomfortable going to this place since I have watched a Top so inebriated they were slurring their words and weaving as they walked, pick up a whip and start flicking it outside of the play space. Whether by accident or design, I was hit twice with this whip. When I questioned regulars about him, I was told that he was a “respected member of the community and could be trusted”. I guess I just have different standards.

Knight's kyra


_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:48:59 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		i'd say you've excellent standards. you are one who is respected and can be trusted, from all i've seen.

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maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:53:01 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
If You think I care if You read My posts or not (persons
who name I will not mention so that the Mods dont get Me),
I dont. It wasent addressed to You anyhow. Those who
have an interest in what I have to say learn to read Me
just fine. I personally love My choices today of green
and curvey letters. It is a holiday after all! ~smiles~
And Ill accept Your show of gratitude on My posts.
I always enjoy having Dominant Men tell Me ThankYou.
~wink~


< Message edited by MistressDREAD -- 12/28/2005 4:01:27 PM >

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:58:16 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

i'd say you've excellent standards. you are one who is respected and can be trusted, from all i've seen.


Thank you very much. It means a lot to hear that.

kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 4:05:57 PM   
alandraofMists


Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		i have never consumed achohol before, during or after play. not only can in cause insteadyness in ones balance and movements but can make for bad judgements in emotions and misperceptions in behaviors.

there is also the affect that achohol has in thinning the blood. and cut or broken skin will bleed more and seep longer if the person has achohol in their system.

as for the Top being drunk, my opinion is if the Top has consume achohol and does not think it affects His preception at all, they are not being honest with themselves and i would not be comfortable playing with them.

Knight's alandra

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 4:39:35 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		as for the Top being drunk, my opinion is if the Top has consume achohol and does not think it affects His preception at all, they are not being honest with themselves and i would not be comfortable playing with them.

I completely agree--

IMHO, if a Dominant can not care for their responsibilities, they are no way ready to care for another--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to alandraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 4:43:37 PM   
gbgirlz2003


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It's a hard limit with me too ... if I'm not drunk, probably no chance you could ever get me to do it.


lol; there is someone with a sense of humor here. Master nearly always drinks. I have NEVER seen him drunk nor has anyone else. He used to scene with a hot little redhead that HAD to get high to enjoy a scene. I don't drink; but I was flying from a wine enema that Master gave me before a scene last week...think I want to try that again...and again.

IMHO, everyone is different and has to find out what works for them.


(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 5:24:25 PM   
passionfirenmo


Posts: 38
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		Personally,I do not think it is a good idea to mix any mind altering substances with bdsm play,,,,Reaction time is dulled as would be sensaton,,,Why would i want that??

Have fun,Stay well,

passsion

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 5:42:35 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		We will not scene with someone who has been drinking, nor will we do so if we ourselves have consumed alcohol within the last few hours. As to illegal mind-altering drugs of other types, they are not allowed for use by anyone in our family (nor is abuse of any prescription medication). That is one of our personal hard limits.

Bear and Ursa

(in reply to passionfirenmo)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 5:57:15 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		I have played it both ways. The old Dom and I liked to drink/get high and scene. The new one will not have that at all - he does not drink and will not allow me to have more than a couple of drinks, and nothing else.

I've always respected the point of view of those who say "no drinking and drugging". Now that I actually adhere to it I see for me it has unexpected value.

My dom asserts he wants to know that my response is all about him and
"reality", and not the haze of substance. In my own personal journey, part of it has been really owning who I am as someone of the lifestyle. And my sober approach has been very enjoyable to me, knowing that I don't need anything to insulate me from myself or sensation or any part of what's going on. It shows me for myself that this is for real and not some passing weirdness.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to passionfirenmo)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 6:19:04 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: classykindasassy

I have played it both ways. The old Dom and I liked to drink/get high and scene. The new one will not have that at all - he does not drink and will not allow me to have more than a couple of drinks, and nothing else.

I've always respected the point of view of those who say "no drinking and drugging". Now that I actually adhere to it I see for me it has unexpected value.

My dom asserts he wants to know that my response is all about him and
"reality", and not the haze of substance. In my own personal journey, part of it has been really owning who I am as someone of the lifestyle. And my sober approach has been very enjoyable to me, knowing that I don't need anything to insulate me from myself or sensation or any part of what's going on. It shows me for myself that this is for real and not some passing weirdness.


Thank you for sharing this.... someone that has deeper perspective of boths sides of this issue adds alot of value to the issue.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to classykindasassy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 6:28:21 PM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

someone that has deeper perspective of boths sides of this issue adds alot of value to the issue.


I would agree.

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 7:17:16 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		DEAR CRAVIN A
HAPPY NEWYEAR !
SEASONS GREETINGS
NICE ,TO see you posting and, to be able, to POST A REPLY ,TO YOU AGAIN,
with tawney port; even ,as a teen; i did my best vanilla-performances ....
i personally can only speak, for my self ,altho most s and m manuals beginner ,or advanced advise ,against the use ,of alcohol ,because you dont want, to loose control, w/issues involved,in responsible s and m scenarios,
for myself;
i drink ,esp.,if i have ,to "depersonalyze":(ie:,not take something personal like; why me!?...) or ,
if i get stuck, with vanilla ,for whatever reason ;or ,
if i'm ,with someone i am really,not into;
otherwise;
i wanna be alert;look like i care ;make a good first impression which last a life time;
but ,i'd hate to leave myself out of control and drink esp as a
slave ;slaves control their fate so to speak by knowing what to do down to the last 2 seconds of life if it ever comes to that;so i hate to drink as a known slave ,
esp when i dont know them.it's not good form.
most all persons drink or take drugs for only one basic reason: depersonalyze(to be able to,not to take the situation personal ie:
like why am i ,in this
or with this place or person etc.)
cant be a prude drop a guilt trip ,and tell a top anything;everyone who likes to drink is not a drunk or a looser or an alcholic;it helps at certain doses for brainstorming and ,just before board meetings;
it releases inhibitions
but
you can't cum, at all anyway ,if you overdo alchohol
so happy holidays
heres to all the chaufeurs and pilots of perfect form ;who love what they do ,when they do it....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 12/28/2005 7:20:07 PM >

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I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 8:36:13 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Moderation, moderation, moderation.... UNLESS your chemical reaction is extreme.
Some can drink a 6 pack with no adverse effects, another and 2 beers begin to turn
them. Everybody's different. So, I just avoid it and say No.

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 8:44:15 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		My Sub and I know each other very well. I can have a mixed drink or two with or after dinner and still play. She KNOWS I can do this because she's seen me and been with me numerous times when I've had one or two drinks and she KNOWS I'm still safe and sane. Please note however that we do not 'play' as hard as many of you do, so safety is not normally an issue.

As for her, well one drink is okay with or after a meal but more than that and she starts to lose her sensualism and that just spoils it for her. She wants to feel and sense everything and alcohol dulls that.

We both have a hard limit when it comes to drugs. If I see them or know that someone is using illegal drugs I'm out of there and on the phone to the cops. Period.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 7:29:08 AM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm it seems that alcohol is a no-no to a large number of people in the community. In fact in the local community wher I live there are a large number of recovering alcoholics, or people who have been lifetime tea-totalers. I can't help but wonder if there is a connection between that fact and the overwhelming "booze is bad" sentiment.

As for me, playiing with somebody who has been drinking will totally depend on 3 things. The persons tolerance, the number of drinks they have had, and the type of play we are going to engage in. I don't want a top that is too intoxicated to handle the implements of their role, and like wise I don't want to thin the blood of anybody who will be on the receiving end of any type of physical torment. Now drinking with role playing can be totally part of the scene, depending on the roles.

And now for my personal drinking story. I am genetically put together to be able to drink. My brother and I are both able to drink a large amount of booze before ouor personality starts to bend. ANd both of us in our heavy drinking youth were able to pass any physical sobriety test short of blood or breath tests. Regardless if I entend to do any type of play that may result in breaking my skin I don't drink (or in the case of dinne out well before the play I limit myself to a drink). If I intend to do play that may break anothers skin, or requires any amount of skill or dexterity with the tools of the trade I follow the same rules (nothinng, or a couple drinks well before).

As with any number of aspects of the lifestyle, both parties need to be aware of the risks involved in including alcohol in play. But I don't think any more or any less of people who totaaly abstain, or those that imbibe freely.

N }:-

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 7:53:34 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nuke718

Hmmm it seems that alcohol is a no-no to a large number of people in the community. In fact in the local community wher I live there are a large number of recovering alcoholics, or people who have been lifetime tea-totalers. I can't help but wonder if there is a connection between that fact and the overwhelming "booze is bad" sentiment.
N }:-


Actually, I'm not in the "booze is bad" camp... I'm in the "booze or mind altering substances change brain chemistry and invalidate consent" camp. I am deeply fond of single-malt scotch, and treasure a good brandy or a rich wine with melange a veau and fresh 20-seed bread. I don't drink a lot, and what I -do- drink is completely for pleasure. I enjoy champagne and the occasional Asti or Rosso (SilverRose prefers those to champagne, but I tend to go in the other direction). We've both discovered the pleasure of a white merlot (at least, Berringer's white merlot '04)... and I -adore- stouts, heather ale, and mead.

I know that there are people who -swear- that they can drink and drive. I was a paramedic for 3 years, and scraped a number of those people off the road along with their victims -- and scraped one of them off his catalytic converter when he was thrown from the car and the car landed on top of him and burned him to the CC. I get in my car and put on my seatbelt, so do my passengers. I don't drink if I'm going to be driving. One drink -may- be ok, but my one drink with some mild change in attention, combined with someone -else-'s more pronounced impairment could pose a problem bigger than I can forsee, so I choose to be as aware as I can be when I am in the driver's seat of a weapon with other lives in my hands. I -see- people who don't, but that's not my bag. My "thing" isn't to see how far I can push safety before something unsafe happens. My "thing" is to challenge excellence in myself and others. The only way we can do that is if we're alive and as whole as possible to enjoy it.

In the same way, for me, it is such a small thing to be completely "present" when I am chastising or physically challenging a servant. With it being such a small thing to do to strive for the profound, it isn't that a drink is "evil", it is that I -want- to be completely present, and I want to -know- that the person that I am playing with is completely present, too... I want to know that that consent that he or she just gave isn't predicated on being just a teeny bit too relaxed to make a good judgement on what he or she wants. The desire to serve and to feel the intensity or to accept service and evoke that intensity is already a "drug" for so many of us in this life, it seems like an unnecessary excess to add alcohol or drugs. I appreciate so many of the nuances of wonderful alcoholic drinks, and I appreciate the nuances of raising that line on flesh -- swollen and tender, or the blush of pink just under the skin as a flogger warms flesh. I appreciate the importance of chastisement, and the vehemence of enforced disciplines... but I appreciate them separately, so as not to lose the beauty and grace of one in the other and so as not to mar either with "spillover" from the other. Call me a "purist" and I will accept that graciously, as purity, like excellence, is something to aspire to, not shun.

Lady Zephyr



_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to Nuke718)
Profile   Post #: 40
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