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RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 7:55:02 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm old fashioned I realize, but ... BDSM and alcohol do NOT mix.

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 8:08:49 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert1
I'm old fashioned I realize, but ... BDSM and alcohol do NOT mix.

Not old fashioned. The very first meetings of people into kink were held almost exclusive in bars.

And it's actually an almost entirely American attitude to have towards alcohol.

Lots of "old fashioned" people enjoy some alcohol in their lives, even when they play. Plenty of events have alcohol as part of them and everyone simply enjoys and has a great time.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterRobert1)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 8:43:05 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert1

I'm old fashioned I realize, but ... BDSM and alcohol do NOT mix.


[evil grin] I'm not sure what "old fashioned" means in this context. In my contacts with what has become to be called "The Old Guard" back in the 60's I was impressed at the amount of booze those guys used to put away. (for a certain value of "impressed")

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(in reply to MasterRobert1)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 8:55:07 AM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		Sure I play drunk. Not sloppy throw up on your flogger drunk, but Ive been known to drink and play. I think its better sober, but I love role play and alcohol can be a fun prop to play with.

_____________________________

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. -Oscar Wilde

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 11:10:43 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

In my contacts with what has become to be called "The Old Guard" back in the 60's I was impressed at the amount of booze those guys used to put away. (for a certain value of "impressed")
I think he meant to say he is with the "new vogue: just say no."
I understand many people have difficulty with alcohol and other drugs, and respect everyone's right to say, not even a glass of wine, but I think some people take the propriety/righteousness a tad far when it comes to judging what other folks do with their bodies and minds. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 11:20:50 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
I think he meant to say he is with the "new vogue: just say no."
I understand many people have difficulty with alcohol and other drugs, and respect everyone's right to say, not even a glass of wine, but I think some people take the propriety/righteousness a tad far when it comes to judging what other folks do with their bodies and minds. M


I agree. I can decide what to do with myself, and with my own servants, and I have my own reasons for those things. I can't tell someone else not to drink because I don't like it. The only recourse I have (or can reasonably be expected to have) is to tell that person that he or she cannot borrow my property, since I don't allow drinking and BDSM play where -myself or my- servants are concerned. If someone else wants to be on either side of that whip under the stated terms, hey, I'm all good with it, and will hang around to help with after-care if that's my job (which I often do, or SR does, to provide assistance for those who prefer naturopathic or homeopathic options for aftercare) without any judgement on the situation.

Somewhat off-track, but I believe there is -far- too much of a tendency in our society to try to protect everyone from themselves and the occasional folly we all make of our lives. As a society, we have abdicated our responsibility for ourselves to government lackeys who can't even manage their -own- lives... and yet we look to them to protect us from deceit and dishonor, and to tell us what is right and wrong.

Lady Zephyr

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 12/29/2005 11:23:49 AM >

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"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
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(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 11:36:23 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I guess this is a catch 22 here. I've played totally sobered. And I've played slightly on the shit faced side. The only thing I can tell you about the 2 is that sobered, I woke up knowing why I hurt or felt good. On the hang over side, I had to try to recap the evening before.

After one drunken night of play, I awoke the next morning so bruised on my ass, hip and thigh I couldn't move. After a few hours of trying to recap and move about, and after the X-Ray shown the cracked hip. I knew from then on, I would never play and drink again.

So all I could possbile add to this, is know each others tolerance. And if one appears more intensed than of normal. Find those brakes real fast and put a stop to the play.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 11:43:13 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
but I think some people take the propriety/righteousness a tad far when it comes to judging what other folks do with their bodies and minds. M


I couldnt agree more M .... what's their's is their's. I can have a few on occasion myself so I feel I'm totally unable to tell another what to do when it comes to their's.... But, on the other hand I can say what they can do with mine, and in that statement it also includes how and to who I feel comfortable in giving myself to. Hence it can become
a deal breaker, at least for me.

Q

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 11:43:40 AM   
MrBiguun51


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		As a Dom, I will not play with a sub or slave if i have been drinking
1 drink is my limit
If I am going to be in control and responsible for the safety of someone else, then i want to be sober

I will allow the sub or slave to have consumed no more than 3 drinks
although i prefer if she is sober as well

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 2:30:10 PM   
gbgirlz2003


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

but I think some people take the propriety/righteousness a tad far when it comes to judging what other folks do with their bodies and minds. M


Another reason to steer clear of "organized" bdsm. The teetotalers have no tolerance for anyone else and they hold sway in almost all groups I have witnessed.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/29/2005 3:07:40 PM   
KevinS


Posts: 24
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I do agree with the post that there are indeed a lot of Friends of Bill W in BDSM, and that influences things; I've even seen specific groups around that in large convention events.

There's also the strong sense, in the Het community at least, of trying to clean everything up, make it pretty and shiney and safe, so everyone can play nice nice and it's a sane thing. We're not perverts! We're soccermoms, we're normal, just like everyone else.
Bah. Give me a nasty Leather bar any day of the week.


Bottom line for me is that people can make whatever decisions, around whatever criteria - including rules of the environment - they wish. Most public parties run by established groups don't allow alcohol. Most private parties, including by established groups, do. I've spent a lot of time at both, and I tend to prefer the latter.

I personally find it highly amusing that people will believe in the technical and mental abilities of others in the scene to cut them with knives, hit them with singletails, mummify them or whatever other rather advanced play they might like, but don't also extend that same level of belief to whether someone will have the judgement to know if they've had too much to drink or not.


Always keep in mind, your views are your own. As, of course, are mine.
Just about whatever you believe on the subject is great, as long as you aren't trying to cram your beliefs down the unbelievers' throats.

You refuse to play with someone who's had a drink? Great! Then don't!
You like to get high before you play? Great! Knock yourself out!
Just don't expect each other to agree, or to want to play with you.


_____________________________

"If one man wants another man dead badly enough, he'll find a way to kill him.
If he happens to be wealthy and psychotic, then this poses less problems than it would for most people."
- John Brizzolara

(in reply to gbgirlz2003)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 2:06:02 AM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

i'd say you've excellent standards. you are one who is respected and can be trusted, from all i've seen.


Thank you very much. It means a lot to hear that.

kyra

you are most welcome, and i say what comes from my heart and mind. i wish you well.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 5:54:21 AM   
sweetwhisper


Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline 		Although i don't believe that drinking heavily and then scening is a good idea, especially if you're doing anything dangerous like breath play, r fire play,or electrical play, hell, then i really wouldn't put myself in the hands of a drunk! lol but, as far as munchs are concerned, or play parties, i went to Paddles NY last year and my friend and i were both sober, to our surprise, eveyone else there was veryyyy sober lol, and it was as boring and awkward as it could be! We drank our soda, watched everyone else just sit around and look at the few Dommes that were doing their spankings and such,it was dull...to say the least.

Then Master and i started attending the Ft. Myers Munch, which is held in a bar/club, and they serve drinks, Master and i aren't really big drinkers, but a couple of drinks do help ease the mood and make everyone a lot less tense and shy....it changes the entire atmosphere, plus there was smoking allowed, which Master hates, but i (being a smoker - and quiting on the 1st!! -again- lol) loved the fact that i was able to relax with a drink in one hand and a cigarrette in the other! hell, what could be better!? lol...well, there's my .02 worth.

sweetwhisper

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 6:11:38 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have been to munch's at restaurants were some will have a few drinks. But I have never been to a club or play party where alcohol was ever permitted.
So I have never thought of it before as a limit. And if ever in a setting were drinking was allowed No, I would never scene with anyone who had been drinking

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 6:35:34 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline 		I know a woman that ONLY goes into a scene if she was fully drunk. She will literally come to the club, sit down and drink 4-5 drinks immediately. (Or "come" with liquer in her purse, or already drunk.) Out of concern, I asked her if she was alright (to down so many drinks, in such a short period of time, usually implies stress or fear or something totally wrong), and she responded that she needed to do this, to "play." The Doms (term used loosely here) that topped her, were fully aware of her state of mind, as I questioned them too, out of concern for her.

I found it unconscionable for these Doms to "play" with her, in her completely inebriated state. They responded that she was an adult, and it was by "her" consent. Her consent was given prior to consuming the alcohol. (Now there's another debate looming, with "that" topic, right?)

While it was true, she consented, and came to the club to play hard, the fact that she "needed" the alcohol to do so, implied STRONG impairment to me. Impairment in judgement on both the woman and the men that beat her. (And I say "beat"..as that is exactly what they did to her.)

With time, she was not allowed to some groups, after her actions were recognized. She continues to live like this, and it's her right to do so...I suppose. I find it quite unsafe, as well as unhealthy.

Sad, but true story.

K

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 6:53:24 AM   
sweetwhisper


Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline 		There's a major difference between having a couple of drinks to loosen you up and getting shit faced drunk! If i am in a social gathering, especially since i am a bit shy to begin with and not the most sociable creature out there, i often prefer to be just a bit buzzed, do i need it? no... i can have a good time without being tipsy, but if i have a choice between being totally sober in a gathering where others are drinking like at a club or party, or having a couple of drinks to get me in a more sociable mood, i'll choose the latter any time.

As far as this woman that onlyplayed when drunk, that's a different story, this woman was getting plastered, by what i gathered in your post, that's different than having a couple of drinks. However, i do not consider the doms taking advantage or anything because she's an adult, knows what she's doing and consents to it....they're having their fun with her, as she is having her fun as well.

sweetwhisper

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 7:11:52 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with FTop it is Unsafe and Unhealthy. If there came a time during all this fun that some thing went wrong( and yes it does happen) and she got horribly hurt, If it ended up being some kind of a court case Id bet You anything she would fight the consent thing and say being drunk she was'nt able to really clear mindly give consent at all because she was drunk and those doms should of known better.
even though she consented, IMO it is just a dumb thing to do.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to sweetwhisper)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 7:22:28 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

they're having their fun with her, as she is having her fun as well.


I would think that being that drunk, she would not even remember anything the next morning...except for the pain from the beatings that she took that is...I can't see where that is fun at all

/rubs hands together

I love a good debate.................

(in reply to sweetwhisper)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 7:34:50 AM   
sweetwhisper


Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

they're having their fun with her, as she is having her fun as well.


I would think that being that drunk, she would not even remember anything the next morning...except for the pain from the beatings that she took that is...I can't see where that is fun at all

/rubs hands together

I love a good debate.................



While i will agree that this is not what i would consider to be "fun", apparently it has some rewards for her or she wouldn't continue this pattern of behavior... and not everyone that gets drunk has trouble remembering the events of the night before, i don't normally get "drunk" but i have in the past had way too much to drink, yet the morning after i can clearly remember everything i did...unfortunately! lol

Just like, no matter how much i drink i still know what i am doing....and like i said, it's not like i drink too much or get stupid drunk when i go out....it's just not my thing (anymore) lol.....but the times i have gone way over my limit, i have still had complete awareness of what i was doing...i just chose to do it anyways! lol

sweetwhisper

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/31/2005 8:12:03 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

No No and No unless there are several hours between, I do at times recommend a red wine after as it helps rejuvenate one's resources--and sharing a glass of wine or champagne makes aftercare very special IMHO


One of the main ingredients in red wine is Truth.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 60
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