Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Alcohol and BDSM


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Alcohol and BDSM Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 [6] 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 1/18/2006 8:38:30 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline
nay for me. I have an addictive gene/ personality thing that runs in both sides of the family, so I won't even give a casual drink a chance or drugs, or smokes for that matter.

In fact I believe that my addictive gene had decided to choose another drug: endorphins from masochism and the psychological high of Domming, and frankly, these feel too good to give up for the occasional dose of alcohol.

So no, Ill pass on the drink and run up the tab with something a little less tipsy, like a soda.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 1/18/2006 8:54:08 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
I'm certainly not a tee-totaler so abstinence from alcohol is not my advice.

Consuming alcohol impares judgement and it effects coordination from the first drink on. How much it effects one is a matter of individual factors like weight, sensitivity, experience. Personally, I will play in a sensual way after a beer or two, or a glass of wine. I will not engage in edge play after consuming alcohol at all. Accidents can happen even when I am stone cold sober, I do not want to increase that risk by adding alchol to the mix.

What you do in your own home is your business and if you wish to partake and play that's fine. We are each adults and able to assess the risks associated with our practices. Dungeon rules on the other hand should be clear and absolute, strictly from a liability issue standpoint. No play allowed if you have used alcohol or drugs, no use of alcohol or drugs on the premises during play parties.

Almost all of us have made decisions, spoken words, or taken actions under the influence of alcohol that "seemed like a good idea at the time" that we terribly regretted after sobering up. I never want any scene I do to be remembered with regret because I was playing under the influence or the bottom I was playing with was under the influence.

*tosses another $.02 in the jar*

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to MistressAlexaS)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 1/19/2006 10:06:48 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf1020

There is drunk, sober, and countless levels inbetween.

There is a distict difference between a night out and a few drinks and being wasted (at least for me....different people have different views of a few drinks). Basicly you may not be truly sober but you aren't drunk either and still clear headed.

PLaying after drinking doesn't bother me depending on jsut how much someone has had to drink. A glass of wine or two at dinner is one thing, a six pack is another so really it goes to just how effected the person is. If they were drunk then no way no how, but the same would go if the person was dead tired and not thinking completly clearly. So long as your jugment isn't effected fine, if it is effected not fine.


A few years ago I was witness to a woman being checked in to a detox ward. The woman walked in alone, didn't swagger, stood at the counter without leaning, took items from her purse with no apparent difficulty, and talked to us with no slurring of words. Her makeup was perfectly applied, hair well done, and she was very well dressed. Were it not for the venue and the odor of alcohol emmanating from her pores, neither I nor anyone else working in this unit would have known that she was drunk. When asked about the friend or family member that brought her to the unit, she replied that she had driven herself. I asked her to point out her car from the window, and upon further inspection, it didn't appear as if the woman had struck anything with the car. As a matter of routine all BAC's are tested and recorded upon admission, hers was 0.56.

This is a long story about someone who was very drunk, and not at all obviously so. Does the fact that she could walk, talk and drive mean that her judgement was not impaired? Does that mean that because she wasn't slobbering and drooling and falling down mean that she could be trusted to wield a whip or cane or even a feather?

It's anyone's choice how they play. If someone thinks they can achieve subspace easier by shooting smack before a scene, the only person able to make that decision is the Dom and the sub together. If a Dom feels the need to consume mind or mood altering drugs to "get into" a scene, again, it's between the people involved in the scene to decide whether or not they will participate.

Alcohol is a depressant, it dulls the senses. Drugs will alter the availability and production of endorphins and dopamine, the very chemicals that are necessary to reach subspace.

My choice, and my rules for subs are clear. I do not drink or participate in any illegal drug use. When a sub is with me they will be 100% free of such things as well. There is too much at stake.

And that's my $.02, btw, what are we going to do with all this cash?



< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 1/19/2006 10:08:35 AM >


_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/16/2006 4:29:41 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

You've never seen the Amazing MizSuz with a bottle in one hand and a bullhip in the other<g>.



psssst....it was probably a signal whip. ;)

Will and Dori are coming to visit last week of Feb, wanna come?!? I bet you could even ride up with them if you wanted. I'd love to see you (and the dungeon is almost ready to christen, albeit a bit 'rough').

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 4/7/2006 11:14:44 PM   
darkwolf2001a


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
having been in a secene where a male dom (who was drunk) took over  from a female top that was topping me i found that alcohol and bdsm does not mix ever......i don't as a general rule secene with doms and found that that rule was renforce just by having that secene happen....because of the one bad secene i have not done anything in the bdsm commuity for 2 years ....
i was lucky  that the dm's  of the dungon steped in when a domme friend saw what happend....

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 4/8/2006 4:21:29 AM   
scratchingpost


Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline
For me I feel it goes against the SSC part of BDSM It is not safe, the mental capacity is diminished (does that qualify as sane?), and the inhibitions are lowered too much to be knowingly consentual. I will admit I have played inpaired as a bottom (  I couldnt enter subspace and I couldnt get into "it" like I normally might have) since I no longer bottom at all I have it is a hard limit of mine as a top. It goes against my philosphy of keeping my toys emotinoal and physical well being in the forefront of my mind at all times. I do not permit my submissives to drink when scening definately and then I prefer they only drink in my presence, if they are to drink out of my presence however, they have a one drink maximum and better make sure they have a ride home. I do not permit drinking and driving at all. (call me over protective). Mixed drinks have a tendency to be especially dangerous as people consider them as one drink but I think a long island iced tea has 7 shots of alcohol in it if  I am not mistaken, so it is really having 7 alcoholic beveragees and that is just not in my personal comfort zone to play with someone.

_____________________________

be safe and smile
purrrs kitty
(=^.^=)
www.misskittys-scratchingpost.com

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 4/8/2006 5:22:52 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
I cannot drink alcohol. I am "allergic" to it and also a member of AA. I haven't had a drink in over 17 years and still attend occasional 12-step meetings (when I feel the need, which might be every week or once a year, depends on "what's happening" in my life. I am not "rabid" or "preachy" about this and I care not one whit what other people do and as many of my friends drink alcohol as those who don't. 

But - if I have "limits" (which I am sure I do I just haven't figured out what they are yet) this is my hardest, most non-negotiable one. If someone doesn't want to try to understand that and is going to try to make me have a drink, then I will be sorry to lose them as a potential Dom or as a friend but I will wave "good-bye". I also cannot drink due to the fact that a medication i take does not mix well with alcohol and could be dangerous to mix the two. 

That being said - it has never been a problem for me and I have a hard time imagining, in this age of "12-Step programs abounding" (for almost anything to which anyone could ever possibly become addicted) that it would be a problem.

I usually drink club soda with a twist ,or a "Virgin" version of a Pina Colada or Bloody Mary or Diet Coke - whatever. 

It doesn't make me self-conscious anymore if someone is bold enough to ask why I am not having an alcohlic drink - I say:
1) I don't want one, I just don't like the taste or, in one case once  where I really felt "pushed" by someone,  I just came out and said: "I am in a Recovery program and appreciate you understanding that" (you could have heard a pin drop after that. They stopped inquiring). - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/8/2006 5:32:21 AM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 4/8/2006 7:17:33 AM   
LadyWolfdreams


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Wyoming
Status: offline
These are all hard limits for me. No drugs. No alcohol. No tobacco. Period. I don't use any of these things EVER and won't tolerate a sub/slave who does.

Lady Wolfdreams

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/18/2007 6:33:40 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
Another song I enjoy really ties together the concepts of Alcohol, BDSM, and Topping From The Bottom.

Sinergy

Vandals - Thats My Girl Lyrics

 I'm awful sorry if she has ruined the night. I'll get her home and out of sight.


That's my girl- the drunkest at the party.

She lost her shoe and
found the rum bacardi.

There she goes- she fell down and she's bleeding,


I tried to help, she's kicking and she's screaming



The
drunkest girl, that everyone hates- she with me- I'm her date I'll drive her
home (get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.


That's my girl, cross-eyed drunk and puking,

She's down again and
everybody's looking.



I'll wait till she sobers up, and when she
finishin' throwing up I'll drive her home (get her home, gotta get her ass
home) and leave her lying on her porch.





CHORUS:

That's my girl (get her home, gotta get her ass home)

Take her home
(do what you can to make her leave)

She made a scene (get her home,
gotta get her ass home)

She's with me (I can't believe that she's with
me)

That's my girl- flirting with your husband

She threw a drink,
and screamed she used to fuck him.

I don't mind her getting drunk

but I'm gonna lock her in my trunk,

and take her home (get her home,
gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.


CHORUS:


I'll Take her home (do what you can to make her leave)
She made a
scene (get her home, gotta get her ass home)

I'll take her home (do what
you can to make her leave)
She's with me (I can't believe that she's
with me)

That's My Girl

Bridge

She doesn't always act this
way, later on she'll be OK

I apologize for all she's done, go ahead and
keep her purse
The drunkest girl, that everyone hates- she with
me- I'm her date I'll drive her home (get her home, gotta get her home...)






_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/18/2007 8:05:18 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
It would depend on what he planned to do with me frankly. Now all scenes are sado masochistic ones frankly. Can one have a couple of drinks an hour before play and be ok? Absolutely.

Now drunk if a different story.

I do not want to be drinking to the point of excess either, because I cannot gauge what is happening to me and I find this scary.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 110
Breasts are like a glass of wine - 2/18/2007 8:14:46 PM   
glanstat


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline
Breasts are like a glass of wine:

One is not enough
Two are just right
Three are too many

< Message edited by glanstat -- 2/18/2007 8:16:06 PM >

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Breasts are like a glass of wine - 2/18/2007 8:20:19 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
I enjoy drinking and at times enjoy mixing it with BDSM.  For me, in the parties I throw alcohol is usually banned, ONLY because setting a zero limit for everyone prevents the one drunk idiot for ruining what could be a fun evening for the rest of us.

Funny how puritan people get over alcohol when endorphins are what morphine duplicates...

(in reply to glanstat)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Breasts are like a glass of wine - 2/18/2007 8:53:26 PM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline
Master and I drink occasionally. Usually it is on one of those rare nights when the twin aliens are visiting their aunt. The night we have drink is generally the same we have to "play" so yeah we've had a couple and then played...heavily even. We have a great time with or without it. I have been to many parties where alcohol wasn't allowed, but I have never banned it from any of the events I've thown. We've even had margarita machines a couple of times at our Mardi Gras themed parties. We ask that people be responsible in their drinking and in their play. If you are obviously drunk or otherwise impaired your scene will be interrupted and you may be asked to leave. Of course we will call you a cab or give you a lift home. This has never happened in our circle.

btw..Puritans..now that scene could be hot..


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/18/2007 9:16:26 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
I would not drink and scene no. I get giddy and goofy and obnoxiously happy, and that's with just one, I would be in no shape to scene.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/19/2007 5:04:41 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline
My partner and I have gotten together with another couple to have a few drinks (meaning 1-2 max) and sit around and talk when meeting for the first time. By the time we are relaxed and ready to play the jolt of adrenaline to the system on the way to the play space is enough to clear my head completely. This is the only time I have allowed alcohol wiht play.
 
This topic reminds me of one of my first experiences with a sub on here who was local to me and wanted to get together. After 1 day of chatting he was ready to meet with me and go for it (ok). Then asked could we do a whole weekend....a bit more than i wanted to commit to but, maybe. Oh, he says, and i like to have a few drinks and get high before we play...it helps me get in the mood. And can you tie me up and leave me overnight???  WHEW....time to say goodbye!!!

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/19/2007 5:16:50 AM   
MasterC70


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2007
Status: offline
I think it's a bad idea to drink and then play.  A person's inhibitions are relaxed if they have been drinking, and while it may get a sub/slave to do things they might not do for their Dom/Domme/Master/Mistress when sober it might also dull the sense of pain and then they could suffer injury without realizing it.  Likewise if the Dom/Domme/Master/Mistress has been drinking they may go over the limit and hurt the sub/slave without meaning to.  That's without the possibility of medical conditions that make alcohol comsumption a bad idea of course.  For example if either of you are diabetic alcohol in quantity can cause trouble with your blood sugar level. 

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/19/2007 5:48:39 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
If I wouldn't be comfortable driving, I wouldn't be comfortable in play that involves implements.  That would be anything more than a couple drinks.  Likewise if my partner had enough that I wouldn't want him driving.  On the other hand, I have been comfortable with light bondage after more than a couple, and I don't think a even few drinks would impair his ability to toss me across his knee.   

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/21/2007 1:43:52 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline
greetings

i do remember years ago i mention straight sex and drink does not mix! i think bdsm and drinking is a no no if one drink sure more then that is asking for trouble

mons

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/21/2007 9:22:27 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
I have done it all three ways drunk high and sober.  I would never when under the influence of alcohol or drugs use a flogger or do anything cbt or pain wise, but i will role play , i feel more confident being ballsy and louder , or ill play rough and just have a hard sex session, that to me is playing and what most people do when they ae drunk or high anyway if they can get it is have sex.  But  again i will say i would never use toys or anything unless i was sober. And iwould expect him to be too.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 2/21/2007 9:38:52 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline
WE have a zero tolrance for bdsm play using drugs and drinking...,Part of staying safe but many can be responsible after a few drinks...TO each their own but be safe for Gods sake...BH

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 120
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 5 [6] 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Alcohol and BDSM Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 [6] 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109