mistoferin
Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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My yellow lab likes to watch tv. She is especially fond of the dog shows where the dogs are retrieving on land and in water while their owners/handlers are blowing whistles and giving them hand signals. One day one of the dogs ran off camera and she jumped off the couch and ran around the side of the tv to see if the dog on the screen came out the other side.
Then there is my beloved Tank....my 125 lb retarded chocolate lab....
I worked a double shift that day and came home exhausted. I grabbed a quick bite to eat and sat down to take a glance at the paper. On the couch I found a pretty generic looking plastic bag that was obvious evidence (or at least so I thought) that one of the dogs had been in the trash. I picked it up and turned to them and they both gave me that "yeah, we know we shouldn't have" look. I tossed the bag in the trash and went on to read the paper. My son, who was a senior in high school at the time, called to check in and I explained to him that I was deadbeat tired and would be going to bed early. He said that he'd see me in the morning. I finished the paper and off I went to bed.
About 3:30 in the morning, Tank came and pulled the covers off me and stuck his cold nose in my face. I rolled over and tried desperately to ignore him. He persisted and wasn't about to take no for an answer. This was pretty unlike him, normally the only way he woke up at night was if you tripped over him on your way to the bathroom. So after a few minutes I dragged myself out of bed to take him outside. We lived on a lake in the country at the time and night time there is DARK. We were beyond any benefit of the back yard light when I heard this unidentifiable noise. The only way I can describe it is that it sounded something like distant machine gun fire. A few moments later Tank came back into view looking relieved and we went back in to bed.
4:15 Tank decided to play it again, covers pulled off and cold nose in the face. Ugh! Doesn't this dog know I worked a double and I am exhausted??? Once again I rolled out of bed and made my way through the backyard. Again I heard that distant machine gun fire. Honestly, I was just too tired to even try to investigate what on earth it could be. Tank back at my side looking happy once again we headed back to bed.
4:45....Tank again. You have got to be kidding me!!! Is there no rest to be had for the weary??? I found myself planning my revenge for the next day. I knew he would be lounging on the couch all day while I was at work and I wasn't going to let that happen undisturbed. I'd call on the phone and when the answering machine came on I'd excitedly ask him if he wanted to go for a ride...or if he wanted a treat. Oh yeah....this dog was not going to have a moment's rest tomorrow! It's amazing how your mind works when you are suffering from a lack of sleep!...........back to the back yard.....again that noise...what is that noise??? Oh well, too tired, back to bed.
5:30.....guess who???? Well at least now it's time to get up. Once again we trudged together across the back yard. Once again I hear machine guns in the distance. Back to the house, turn the coffee on and jump in the shower. I throw on some clothes and sit down with my coffee to check my e-mail and here comes Tank. Back to the backyard we go....machine gun fire. I look over into the now early morning light and I see that Tank is rapidly firing something from his backside. I walk over and to my amazement there are big piles of completely whole mixed nuts...you know, the gourmet kind where the cashews are as big as your thumb. There isn't anything else coming out of this dog but whole mixed nuts and he is expelling them at such a velocity that he could have shot squirrels out of the trees!!!!
In the house I go, knock on my son's bedroom door. Do you know anything about mixed nuts? Oh yeah Mom, this girl (who my son was trying to get a date with) was selling nuts for one of her school fundraisers. I bought a bag of them for you and left them on the coffee table. Ummmmm.....how much was in the bag? 5 lbs!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, the vet was contacted regarding Tank's "high fiber" diet. Oh yeah, and the squirrels in the yard thought they had struck gold!
_____________________________
Peace and light,
~erin~
There are no victims here...only volunteers.
When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.
"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"
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what is the funniest thing you have seen your pet do? - 
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