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ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Its the closed minded judging and condemning that I am opposed to. Like I should live my life and make my decisions according to what you think is right. If you ask my opinion, I will give it but what I am opposed to is when someone thinks they are superior to me and therefore questions everything I do. But I am the one that will tell that person to bugger off.

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ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'm happy with being judgmental, except when it's unfair, unbalanced or wrong.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

One of the things that John (Rover) pointed out was the fact that not all judgments are negative.  We hear the word judgment and automatically assume that it's not a positive thing.  That's simply not the case.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

One of the things that John (Rover) pointed out was the fact that not all judgments are negative.  We hear the word judgment and automatically assume that it's not a positive thing.  That's simply not the case.

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ORIGINAL: trealeon

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

One of the things that John (Rover) pointed out was the fact that not all judgments are negative.  We hear the word judgment and automatically assume that it's not a positive thing.  That's simply not the case.

Yes but the point he was making was about personal judgments. Judging someone trustworthy before you trust them with something and things like that. What I think people find offense with has nothing to do with personal judgments. If my friend has a history of losing things, then of course I'm not going to loan her my camera. That's my choice, my assessment of her personality and track record and it directly affects me and my life. Of course I have a right to make decisions that I think are best for me.

The argument against being judgmental is basically around something very specific. Someone posts something here, a question, a comment, a thought, and those that disagree, instead of just disagreeing, personally attack or reticule that person. I think that's different from the generic "judging" that people are defending. Of course we make judgments and assessments all day every day, that's how we function.

For me when it comes to a post on here, as long as that person's not attacking me on a personal level, I have no reason to attack them, even if I disagree or don't like whatever they're posting.  I can post my counter point or disagreement without being insulting, snide, rude, or whatever.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

While I agree that it isn't necessary to always be rude, you also have to look at the tone of how some posts are presented.  Some people will automatically feel slighted, just because a number of folks will disagree with what they have to say.  I just came from a thread where someone offered up a rather moronic method of dealing with a submissive.  After a few responses telling the OP of that thread that the idea was a very emotionally unhealthy way to conduct a dynamic, the OP came back to say "excuse me for breathing."  Personally, I thought the OP of that particular thread was a twit, and even without calling her so, I'm pretty sure My general opinion showed.

One thing that people here tend to forget is that this is a message board.  When a question is posted that involves any relation to the reader to internalize it and reply from their opinion, they are going to reply with an answer that is created by their own personal influences.  Their emotions, their experiences, their mood at the moment, and many other factors.  If you hang out here on the boards a while, you're going to notice this come up especially in areas such as when questions are posted about situations where people think everything is acceptable just because someone poses a question to a bunch of kinky folks.  Just wait for the next thread that comes along where a Dominant is having a problem with his submissive, but the background that comes with it is that he's lying and cheating on his wife.  Would you suggest that everyone climb on the bandwagon and say that they feel it's perfectly ok, even though they feel morally different about the situation?

Every now and again, we get one of those lovely threads created by someone who thinks we should be a kinder and gentler group of folks on a message board.  That we should openly accept everyone as they are and accept anything and everything that they are wanting to do.  We should coddle every new person who stumbles onto the site, worry about their feelings alone, and condone every action and deed.  I hate to disappoint anyone, but I highly doubt it's ever going to work that way.

I'll continue with My honest answers to honest questions.  I'm willing to be there will be some judgment thrown in there, too.  Just as you say that no one has to respond if they are going to judge an OP and just ignore the subject, that same OP has every right not to read what I say in My reply.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I hope you'll understand that I'm not entirely disagreeing with you.  I think you have several valid points in your posts. 

I've been looking at this from something of the perspective of what I'll refer to as recent members.  That's probably something that I should adjust.  In the past year and a half or whatever it's been that I've been hanging around this place, I've gotten to cyber know some of the regulars.  While many do receive information better with a gentler approach, others are exactly the opposite.  They are more the type that would prefer someone tell them to get their head out of their ass.

Thankfully, most threads get a mixture of both and I tend to think that someone out there will offer up a reply in the way that will work best for that particular person.

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ORIGINAL: Lockit
So my questions are:  Are you judgmental and if you are, are you open for discussion with other’s about it?  Do you justify your judgment or bias somehow?  What do you think of it all?  And lastly, my question about accepting any kink or choice people make in the area of bdsm.

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ORIGINAL: trealeon

Yes, and I think it does have to do with what perspective you're taking this from. Also I know that when you come on here, and post something, you're pretty much putting yourself out there to get a myriad of responses which include ones that aren't "warm and fuzzy" and ones that come from people that don't share your point of view.

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ORIGINAL: trealeon

or reticule that person.