Job to inform

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colouredin -> Job to inform (12/13/2008 5:28:23 AM)
Ok so many of you know I am doing a course containing elements of psychology and sociology. I have been rather vocal in class about my challanges to theories but my next class is on sexual identiy and I am starting to worry. My last lecture involved a woman comparing homosexuality to some of the big three limits and I got rather frustrated. On talking to one of my friends on the course I was saying that I didnt think I could go to the sexuality lecture for fear of getting over emotional about peoples ignorance. She said that she thought that I should go and be just as vocal because it was seen as my job to help to inform people (a role that I kinda have taken on due to my experiance with the subjects) So I dont know what to do, people were aware of my feelings in the last lecture and i really dont want to become a joke however I am also worrying that maybe this is showing a sense of shame about who I am, I havent had a problem discussing any other personal issues in the class. So I am at a loss. My question then is rather basic what would you do in this situation?

sirsholly -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 5:33:57 AM)
I would quietly take notes...then allow the emotions the lecture flared to simmer down for a few days. Think about what you want to say to the ideas/thoughts you object to and formulate your arguements in a way that will not cause you regret.

MRandme -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 5:35:02 AM)
Go to the class. Be yourself. hugs

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 5:36:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin So I dont know what to do, people were aware of my feelings in the last lecture and i really dont want to become a joke however I am also worrying that maybe this is showing a sense of shame about who I am, I havent had a problem discussing any other personal issues in the class. So I am at a loss. My question then is rather basic what would you do in this situation? If you didn't become a joke after the last lecture when people became aware of your propensity, why would you now? Why do you feel you will become a joke this time? However, as far as thinking you are showing shame about who you are if you are not vocal, I disagree. If you think it is important to keep your life private in any situation, it is probably wise to do just that. Most of us have places where we are quiet about what we do. Thus if you think it's in your best interests not to speak up, then don't speak up. No shame there.

IrishMist -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 5:54:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MRandme Go to the class. Be yourself. hugs Exactly the advice I would give. Be yourself.

MsFlutter -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 5:58:19 AM)
I'm sure all of us are subjected daily to any number of theories/teachings with which we do not (or cannot) agree. We hear them, we evaluate them and either accept or reject them. When living/learning in a vanilla world, we are called upon frequently to show tolerance. A debate would be warranted only if the other party would be open to considering an opposing viewpoint. A friend of mine summed it up nicely by saying 'Never try to teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and annoys the pig' Absorb whatever info is put forth of the topic, use that info to pass any tests that are given. Then use the instructor's syllabus/course notes to make the courses/seminars YOU conduct even more valuable as you now KNOW what is being taught in vanilla academics. In short: humor the vanillas, collect the info they spent hours developing and smile sweetly knowing that their head would explode if they were aware of how that info would be used in future.

Rover -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 5:59:01 AM)
Reframe your question. What you're really asking is whether or not you want to be / should be "out" to your class. So... what's your answer? John

stella41b -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 6:51:05 AM)
Maybe it's me, but I don't really see much of an issue. Challenging homophobia and ignorance with regard to sexual orientation only reveals that you are a considerate and compassionate person. It says nothing about your own sexual orientation.

chamberqueen -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 7:29:31 AM)
Do you have a sense of shame about who you are? I don't see how that would seem obvious to others unless it is true. I would go if I were you. Have a plan in advance for something to do if you feel like you might speak out of turn, like have a pencil to bite down on. There will always be people with ignorant ideas about sexuality. You can give a passionate answer without showing what lifestyle you've chosen to live. Years ago I was in a psychology class and felt passionate about a point, I voiced my disagreement with what was being taught without any blame or name calling, and the professor slipped and said something he never should have. He already had the class upset enough that one woman had run out in tears. I had other students who had never talked to me before come up to me and tell me how impressed they were that I made him lose his composure while I stayed calm and made my points. His slip was big enough that he was given the choice of making a public apology to the class or being fired or transferred out of state. There is a time and place for a teacher to share their personal opinion but it should not be taught as fact. Maybe you are exactly what the class needs.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 8:47:22 AM)
You are in school, your primary goal should be your class grade. I am in school as well but I think I am in a very different place than you are, I am 43 in a room full of what to me are "kids". I have often outed myself in my classes but I am in California. That said, my experiences with that have varied greatly. At the University, I am greeted with kind curiosity and even agreement whereas at the local community college, depending on the class, it sometimes is as bad as farting in class, you just get giggles and whispered comments that would seem to be more suited for junior high. So, I always size up the teacher, most talk about enjoying debate, but for many that requires winning and for a rare few they actually enjoy genuine debate. If I feel saying something will add to the discussion, I will often open up, just as I do here. Other times I simply doodle in my notebook. Best of luck with it.

agirl -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 8:49:39 AM)
You can have strong opinions on something without getting emotional. If you have points to make, you don't have to tie them up with how you feel emotionally. Making a stand or a point about something doesn't actually indicate that it's your choice or inclination ..........it's only says that you consider that other people may think or feel differently to you and that you support that fact. agirl

agirl -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 8:57:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsFlutter I'm sure all of us are subjected daily to any number of theories/teachings with which we do not (or cannot) agree. We hear them, we evaluate them and either accept or reject them. When living/learning in a vanilla world, we are called upon frequently to show tolerance. A debate would be warranted only if the other party would be open to considering an opposing viewpoint. A friend of mine summed it up nicely by saying 'Never try to teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and annoys the pig' Absorb whatever info is put forth of the topic, use that info to pass any tests that are given. Then use the instructor's syllabus/course notes to make the courses/seminars YOU conduct even more valuable as you now KNOW what is being taught in vanilla academics. In short: humor the vanillas, collect the info they spent hours developing and smile sweetly knowing that their head would explode if they were aware of how that info would be used in future. Goodness......what has being vanilla got to do with being openminded? It's not a vanilla world, it's a world. Being intolerant or not understanding someone else's proclivities has nothing to do with being vanilla. agirl

tsatske -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 9:05:04 AM)
I have had a class in psche in which the proffessor was happy to expound, at great length, upon her homophobia. Hoestly - when I am in a class I am paying for and trying to get a degree to improve my life and my families financial position, i consider my first job to get a good grade. No, I don't mean that in the deeply ethical sense, like, 'it's my job to do my work well and my prof's job to give me a grade that reflects that'. That is a beautiful rose colored world view, but, what I mean is, it's my job to get a good grade, which is probably a combination of doing my work well - and deciding what will be well recieved in class. I stayed in the closet, gritted my teeth and went home ranting and raving each night. I got an 'A', then wrote a formal complaint about her to the head of her dept - AFTER my A. Only you can decide how 'out' to be in any given situation. But, honestly, i do not think you have a moral obligation to be out to any degree that will negitively impact your life or make you uncomfortable. Yes, before everyone chimes in here - yes, someone has to. It is, in fact, a good thing to do. But things can be good acts without being moral imperretives. The truth is, a mainstream university should not be teaching homophobia. Unless you are attending a faith based college, I, personally, would complain to the dean of the dept, later. But I'd get that A, first. But, that's just me. This decision must be made individually

AquaticSub -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 9:32:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin My question then is rather basic what would you do in this situation? Talk to the teacher beforehand to get an idea of how they are going to guide the discussion. Are they are BDSM, are they kink-friendly themselves? Personally, I might ask if I could help prepare a handout regarding alternate sexualities, perhaps with sections from When Someone You Love Is Kinky as I think it is a very "vanilla"-friendly text.

Lockit -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 9:35:25 AM)
Just remember who passes out those grades! Do what you feel comfortable with, but be aware of what they might feel comfortable with too! I do hate when those in power really need to be questioned and have a little less. I would be thinking of recording my classes if she is projecting in such a way.

persephonee -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 9:54:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin Ok so many of you know I am doing a course containing elements of psychology and sociology. I have been rather vocal in class about my challanges to theories but my next class is on sexual identiy and I am starting to worry. My last lecture involved a woman comparing homosexuality to some of the big three limits and I got rather frustrated. On talking to one of my friends on the course I was saying that I didnt think I could go to the sexuality lecture for fear of getting over emotional about peoples ignorance. She said that she thought that I should go and be just as vocal because it was seen as my job to help to inform people (a role that I kinda have taken on due to my experiance with the subjects) So I dont know what to do, people were aware of my feelings in the last lecture and i really dont want to become a joke however I am also worrying that maybe this is showing a sense of shame about who I am, I havent had a problem discussing any other personal issues in the class. So I am at a loss. My question then is rather basic what would you do in this situation? i have been in this position several times in lecture situations and have found that if i am coherent and calm...and able to objectively define certain terms and explain things in a detached clinical way and then apply those theories to my own personal life, again, in a calm and matter of fact way, that perhaps not in class, but definitely later in private, i have been reached out to by people who prior to me expressing my thoughts were quite close minded or bigotted or whatnot...if you present an arguement to the contrary in a respectful way that doesnt derail the lecture being delivered it can be the best part of a group lecture experience. You may want to speak to the presenter in private well before hand...perhaps the presenter can tailor the discussion or plan to include you in a productive way. If your issue is with the person presenting or the actual subject matter, this may not be as possible...i dont really know your situation. Please go to the lecture and present yourself as unemotionally driven as possible so that no one misinterprets your passion for insanity or some other such bullshit as people put on anyone who shows a rise in blood pressure...present your case as factually as possible and dont be afraid to mention that "this or that comment or idea is offensive and inaccurate and here is why...." Good luck perse

slaveluci -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 10:22:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin She said that she thought that I should go and be just as vocal because it was seen as my job to help to inform people (a role that I kinda have taken on due to my experiance with the subjects) I disagree. People who are going to school should be able to "inform" themselves. Just because they happen to be homophobic or too "vanilla" simply doesn't mean they AREN'T "informed." Perhaps they are very informed, indeed, but still feel the way they do. Sadly, that's the way of the world sometimes. Taking the focus off your schoolwork to make it your platform to "inform" people who may already be informed and couldn't care less would not be the wisest decision in my opinion. If you can calmly, yet passionately, add something to a discussion that could perhaps shed light on a different viewpoint, that's cool. But getting all worked up and lecturing your class to "inform" them may just be what it takes to reinforce what they may already believe - that you and your ilk are just as weird as they think you are. Good luck.................luci

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 10:47:42 AM)
Heh I face this challenge almost every time I go to a KINK lecture or class. My method is essentially go to in expecting to say nothing and keep my mouth totally shut, and I end up listening and bouncing off a few ideas of what others say and get some particular points across. In the end it comes out usually pretty balanced.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 11:15:47 AM)
I would go. I would also speak up where it seemed appropriate, especially to balance inaccurate information. I have a favorite phrase... "That has not been my experience." At that point, it gives the people around me the opportunity to either ask me to elaborate, or tell me to mind my own business. This -is- an educational setting, so having accurate information on which to develop future thought processes is important. (Of course, I'm walking Chaos... so what else would one expect than for me to stir the pot).

aravain -> RE: Job to inform (12/13/2008 11:40:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I would be thinking of recording my classes if she is projecting in such a way. Be careful if you do this in the USA. You must have the professor's agreement (either in writing or on the tape) because otherwise not only the professor, but the school can sue you. Intellectual property and copyright laws and all that.

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