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RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 7:41:27 PM

KaylaBound

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline

Wow folks, Thank you all for the fast response. I will try to respond as time allows. Both the positive and negative. I may not be able to articulate properly what I feel is a true transgendered person. But I feel this is a term to be used for those who have made a active attempt at becoming the gender of the opposite sex that they were born. Both pre-opp, post-opp and those somewhere between. I dont feel that if a man or woman wears clothes of the opposite gender for fun or sexual thrill that they are transgendered. Please make no mistake, I have no issue with anyones personal choices. But I fear that if this trend continues that at some point I could decide that I want to be a popcan and demand equal rights for each and every popcan. Or for you to be a lightbulb and want to be refered to as lightbulb, what happens then when someone reaches on the shelf for a lightbulb and pulls you down. Are you a lightbulb? Do you have any similiar traits of a lightbulb? If not, then what are you? Then what am I? Besides confused...

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Post #: 21

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 7:57:44 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Why not just choose the labels in the profile setup that you feel best describes you and then just explain in further detail in your profile and/or to those who you have an interest in?

Why be worried about what other people call themselves?

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 22

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 7:58:14 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Well hell, let's get specific then. How about petitioning collarme to add these questions to the profile section:

1. Chromosomes you were born with:
2. Do you appear female or male or neither with clothes on:
3. Do you appear female or male or neither with clothes off:
4. Do you believe that you are a female or male or neither:
5. Do you have romantic relations with people who answered #2 with "female":
6. Do you have romantic relations with people who answered #2 with "male":
7. Do you have romantic relations with people who answered #2 with "neither":
8. Do you have sexual relations with people who answered #2 with "female":
9. Do you have sexual relations with people who answered #2 with "male":
10. Do you have sexual relations with people who answered #2 with "neither":
11-16: Same as 5-10... who answered #3 with..."
17-22: Same as 5-10... who answered #4 with..."
23. Do you plan to have surgery to change your answer to number 2:
24. Do you plan to have surgery to change your answer to number 3:
25. Do you have romantic relations with people who answered #23 with "yes":
26. Do you have sexual relations with people who answered #24 with "yes":

I think that's a good start.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 23

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:00:43 PM

KaylaBound

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline

I actually like that idea...

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 24

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:04:48 PM

VioletGray

Posts: 359
Joined: 10/29/2007
From: Baltimore, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaylaBound
But I feel this is a term to be used for those who have made a active attempt at becoming the gender of the opposite sex that they were born. Both pre-opp, post-opp and those somewhere between.

Hmm. If someone is making an active attempt at becoming the gender of the opposite sex, wouldn't we call that person a transsexual?

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 25

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:04:50 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Of that's the case Kayla, what about M2F or F2M who are in transition yet for their own reasons don't undergo the surgery? They still take the necessary hormones each day, they still dress and conduct their lives according to the gender they feel they actually are as opposed to what biology gave them. Though I feel your analogy of a popcan quite confusing and don't believe it is relevant.

You also have to realize that here in the 21st century, they style of clothes a person wears does not define their gender. A woman who wears pants or jeans doesn't indicate they are male, that is simply a fashion choice they decided upon.
There are a vast number of men who do enjoy cross dressing, either for many different reasons. Then you have men who are female impersonators, they dress as a female and often a female celebrity and many do so professionally for a living and/or to raise money for various charitable organizations. Some are also TG and many aren't. Does it really matter....NO. Should it matter that much to you....NO. What should only matter to you is you own path in transitioning from one gender to another. Along the way, understand fully what it means like to be a transgendered person and help educate people who do not understand TG people and eliminate the discrimmination they face.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 26

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:05:28 PM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

CC, somehow the thought of filling out a profile I actually have to study for leaves me feeling a bit... ehh...

But point taken...

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 27

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:07:41 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

LOL E2! I didn't get that title by being cute!
<---------------------

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

CC, somehow the thought of filling out a profile I actually have to study for leaves me feeling a bit... ehh... But point taken...

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Post #: 28

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:08:39 PM

KaylaBound

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline

Well, reading many of the responses I must now ask; how many of you are mentaly unstable? There was a lot of anger and hostile answers... I admit I am unstable, but I embrace my flaws and use kind words first. There was no need to be rude, those of you who were should be ashamed of yourself. Have a great day...

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 29

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:09:13 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VioletGray

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaylaBound
But I feel this is a term to be used for those who have made a active attempt at becoming the gender of the opposite sex that they were born. Both pre-opp, post-opp and those somewhere between.

Hmm. If someone is making an active attempt at becoming the gender of the opposite sex, wouldn't we call that person a transsexual?

Some will dispute that VioletGray, though transsexual and transgender are commonly interchangeable.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to VioletGray)

Post #: 30

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:11:30 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaylaBound

Well, reading many of the responses I must now ask; how many of you are mentaly unstable? There was a lot of anger and hostile answers... I admit I am unstable, but I embrace my flaws and use kind words first. There was no need to be rude, those of you who were should be ashamed of yourself. Have a great day...

Edited because I'm not going to be that mean tonight.

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 12/15/2008 8:12:43 PM >

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 31

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:11:33 PM

squirrelfury

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/20/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

Dear CollarMe, please add "Happily Mish-Mashed" to the list of options for the "Gender" field within the profiles section of the website. "Content to Remain Confused" and "Sexological Shapeshifter" are also workable options for me. Thanks!

While I'll never let it be unchallenged in a game of Scrabble against me, I love that you've introduced me to a new word: "Sexological". *winks*

_____________________________

~Squirrel~
I wept for I had no shoes, then I met the bastard who took them. Who's crying *now*, fetish-boy?

From a word to a word I was led to a word, from a deed to another deed.

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Post #: 32

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:14:20 PM

Aszhrae

Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline

Nice idea 'CalifChick'.

On a recent PC application, girl was given the choice between a box (F) box (M) and a box (Transgendered).
Girl marked, (F).

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 33

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:14:49 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaylaBound

Well, reading many of the responses I must now ask; how many of you are mentaly unstable? There was a lot of anger and hostile answers... I admit I am unstable, but I embrace my flaws and use kind words first. There was no need to be rude, those of you who were should be ashamed of yourself. Have a great day...

Honey....we all are being kind to ya. You ain't seen anger until you've riled the bear and then you'll see this bitchy queen come out in spades dear! Y'all have a nice night now you hear!

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 34

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:17:22 PM

elegantalexis

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Define rude.

I was not rude, but if you perceive it as such, then you need to adjust your view of life. I am blunt and to the point, with a bit of mania tossed in because that is how I am.

Alexis is going "WTF does she need a label for? She should just be herself, what she truly feels, fuck the labels!"

_____________________________

Subbies to 12 cats...

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 35

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:26:41 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline

what the... why does rudeness equate mental instability?

:|

I *can* be rude if you like... but it usually means that I'm also MEAN at the same time.

I've seen nothing that can be considered rude, except perhaps sarcasm... which isn't really rude (or a sign of mental instability).

(in reply to KaylaBound)

Post #: 36

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:31:05 PM

squirrelfury

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/20/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

The classical sign of mental instability is the use of multiple exclamation points in a single sentence (or so Pratchett would have me believe).

Looks like we're all clear!!!

Wait...damn...

*grins*

_____________________________

~Squirrel~
I wept for I had no shoes, then I met the bastard who took them. Who's crying *now*, fetish-boy?

From a word to a word I was led to a word, from a deed to another deed.

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 37

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 8:43:13 PM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

Definitions changed over time. Back in the 80's, I adopted the word "transgendered" for myself to distinguish myself from being a transvestite. The classic definition of transvestite is one who is sexually aroused by dressing as the opposite sex. While there has always been a sexual side to my cross-dressing, I always felt it went beyond that, to some identification with women, to wanting to be seen as one and accepted as one when I did so (whereas some transvestites, at least, don't really identify with the other gender, they just like wearing their clothes); on the other hand, I've never really felt that going through sex reassignment was the right path for me, so I never defined myself as a transsexual.

Over the years, however, I eventually found that if I labeled myself as transgendered, many if not most in the gender community would assume I lived as a woman full-time, and was planning a permanent change, with or without surgery; I think the word has come to represent that by and large, and the word "transsexual" has fallen into disfavor. So as to not give people the wrong impression, I now tend to stick with cross-dresser. (Though when I do searches here, I will sometimes look for women who are interested in transgendered subs in addition to males, as I realize not everyone uses the same definitions, and I *do* want someone who would accept my feminine side.)

Just lately I have discovered the term "autogynephile" -- this is a term used by some with a rather controversial view of gender identity disorder, one largely rejected in the transgender community; and while I think the theory on the whole is at least incomplete, I have to say the characteristics ascribed to autogynephiles fit me more closely than any other model with which I am familiar.

My own frustration comes from the fact that there just seem to be rather few women looking for someone in my particular category, as far as I can tell....

(in reply to squirrelfury)

Post #: 38

RE: Gender label - 12/15/2008 9:16:57 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Where do you draw the line is of course the problem. If someone was born male, believes they are meant to be female, self identifies as female, but lacks the money to begin the hormone process, or the psychological evaluations necessary to get insurance to pay for treatment then are they 'just' a crossdresser? Not in my book.

The line must be drawn by the desires in the person's head. So if they say that they identify as the opposite sex, that's good enough for me.

Now if the site doesn't distinguish between CD and transgender, then I agree that the additional label ought to be added. I can't remember offhand whether it does or not. If it doesn't, I suggest going to the other side and emailing support with this request. Just remember that as a free site, they can't afford tons of upgrades so even if they agree that this would be a useful addition, it still may not happen. But all you need to do is list what you are on your own profile and allow others to find you compatible or not, just like in every other area.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 39

RE: Gender label - 12/16/2008 4:04:11 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Put yourself down as what you like KB - but put something in your profile to explain; check mine out for ideas if you want

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 40

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