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Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 10:18:27 AM

SimplyDesire

Posts: 29
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline

Hello to all Mistress's.Goddess's,and princess's I am Donny(SimplyDesire) I wish if it pleases your Greatness to ask a question.I have a slave heart and desire nothing more than to serve a Mistress.I am tring to impress. I don't want to seem dumb,and just sit there and nod,But when I try to show I have a brain and enjoy using it,I get the responce"Your tring to top from the bottom" I am very new to this and am makeing mistakes. I think I've lost some good Domme's in this matter.Please how should I act.To show I'm not a idot,but am a Submissive....Looking to be owned...SimplyDesire

Post #: 1

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 10:40:06 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Impression doesn't happen by sending personal messages asking a Domme to be your "Collarme Help Desk" and then not paying attention to the fact that Her boi responds to messages. Use the search feature here...this topic has been worn down to the point ridiculousness.

By the way...s-type who can't figure shit out on their own and constantly needs help with simple tasks...not appealing.

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 2

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 10:42:46 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I knew you could handle this one, BoiJen!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 3

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 11:17:34 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

This

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2341930/tm.htm

is not it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 4

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 11:26:58 AM

SimplyDesire

Posts: 29
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline

The Courage to Submit The Guide for the Submissive Male Seeking a Dominant Woman
http://www.lulu.com/content/5043162 Thanks looks to be a good site.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 5

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 6:14:13 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Thanks. If I do say so myself, I think the book will help you. So far the people who have read it have told me that it's funny and informative and written in a straightforward, conversational style. I hope you get a copy. Please let me know what you think of it.

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 6

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 6:33:21 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

The best advice I can give is to be yourself. If they react negatively to your natural state, they're no going to be happy with you in the long run because you cannot keep up a facade forever.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 7

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/16/2008 7:45:22 PM

SimplyDesire

Posts: 29
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline

Thank you Both for being honest and giving me advice. I can get the insterests. I just blow it tring to... I guess top from the bottom, that's what I've been told so it is prob true. I don't mean to. so this book I will study,and learn to heart. Yours in submission.. Donny

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 8

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/19/2008 6:51:43 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Most Mistresses want a slave with brains so I don't think it's about your intelligence. It might be how your coming across that makes them think your trying to top from the bottom. The best way to solve it is to ask the Mistress you disappointed. Ask her what your doing wrong or what you said wrong. I'm sure she'll tell you. When we train slaves we teach them how to apply to a Mistress and what not to say. Like when you first contact a Mistress do you list out all what your into and your fetishes, or do you ask her to tell you what she wants? A good slave likes to please the Mistress by doing what she wants and asks, not what he wants to do.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 9

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/20/2008 9:58:55 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

Be yourself, with your virtues and flaws, approach a lady as such, without all the pretenses, and let the chips fall where they may. If the first try doesn't work, try again. Be yourself, I mean, be a gentleman; if you're not a gentleman, ask someone who is, and pay close attention.
Welcome to the boards, and good luck, M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 12/20/2008 10:00:26 AM >

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 10

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/20/2008 4:50:16 PM

SimplyDesire

Posts: 29
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline

i have found the Mistress who is training me to be her personal slave. Thank you all for your input. May you all find your Dreams...simplydesire.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 11

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 2:41:39 AM

boytoyinatlanta

Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

when a Mistress says that you are topping from the bottom is usually means that the Mistress can't cut Her own mustard...it's a blank check for the untalented, bitchy, and wannabes

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 12

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 5:28:47 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

Long before I found My Pet I dabbled in kinky nights, imagine two switches, taking turns and having fun. I kept getting the same criticism, that I was smug in my execution of tasks. That is reeked of dominance, even when I was submitting. I didn't really get it, either, SimplyD.

In my eyes, topping from the bottom is often an attempt to fulfill the bottom's fantasies. (When the top's fantasies are supposed to come first, I guess) The problem is dominating is hard. There are often lulls in the commands in which its very pleasant for a bottom to take on some of the work load. But it must be done carefully, respectfully, and in a small way.

Every person is a custom job. Some dommes want those idle moments to be met with you kneeling there, silent, waiting for the next thing. Some will want you to offer your services. Some will want you to crawl into a doggie bed and sleep until called for. Spend more time getting to know the dominant, less time guessing.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)

Post #: 13

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 5:38:08 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

when a Mistress says that you are topping from the bottom is usually means that the Mistress can't cut Her own mustard...it's a blank check for the untalented, bitchy, and wannabes

From your profile: "i am a hard bottom who is not so interested in submission because it annoys me considerably when Dominants expect too much or give little in return."

I understand that in a playmate, complaining about "You're topping from the bottom" is a cop out. If I'm the top and she starts telling me how she wants it, or what she wants to do for me (This doesn't happen often, sadly.) I consider that to be Topping from the bottom. I don't end the relationship, I simply rev up the dominance and respond with "Listen, HotHoles, you're getting used how I choose to use you."

One way a D/s relationship differs from play is that the respect for one's superiors is key. The act is simply a way for that respect to manifest. The D/s "mind games" like corner time and bondage must really piss you off, because that's time spent with no one slapping you in the testes. It's not all fun and cum in D/s. There are hard moments in which a submissive is learning to (or engaging in) put the other before themselves.

I saw it in someone's signature here, and I like it... "For a submissive to submit, he must first give up what brought him to submission in the first place." It means, to me, your fantasy needs to be put on hold while you put someone else before you.

All that said, there's nothing wrong with S&M playtime, but because it tolerates two greedy parties makes it different than D/s.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)

Post #: 14

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 5:44:25 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

when a Mistress says that you are topping from the bottom is usually means that the Mistress can't cut Her own mustard...it's a blank check for the untalented, bitchy, and wannabes

Not always. It depends on if that statement is an excuse or a simple bit of information.
I have informed subs that they were topping from the bottom simply because I wanted them to know it was an activity I planed on stopping and stopping quickly. The "Please Mistress, dominate me X, Y, and Z ways and I will be the perfect slave for you" doesnt wash with me.
However, I could never be bothered with someone who repeatedly tops from the bottom, even when I have told them the activities are unacceptable, and tried to change it. It is one thing to push your limits, it is another to say you are a bottom and wish to dictate the scene. If you have no interest in actually submitting to me, then I am not going to have much desire to force you into it.

As for being impressive, there is no blanket statement. What I like, what LadyPact likes and what MasterFireMaam likes are all going to be vastly different and that is just taking a sampling of those of us posting here. I highly doubt you could make all 3 of us impressed with any single thing, so trying for one that is even more all encompassing would be nearly impossible. Be yourself and know what you want, then the impressive bit happens once you meet someone in particular.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)

Post #: 15

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 6:07:39 AM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyDesire

i have found the Mistress who is training me to be her personal slave. Thank you all for your input. May you all find your Dreams...simplydesire.

And who said you can't find twue wuv in less than 2 weeks....good luck with that.

(in reply to SimplyDesire)

Post #: 16

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 6:16:01 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

when a Mistress says that you are topping from the bottom is usually means that the Mistress can't cut Her own mustard...it's a blank check for the untalented, bitchy, and wannabes

Either that, or you ARE topping from the bottom.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)

Post #: 17

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 7:09:02 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

This

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2341930/tm.htm

is not it.

Wow.....eye-opener! Wish I had seen that before responding to a post in the switch forum.

*walks away, shaking her head*

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 18

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 7:56:24 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreeneGoddess

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyDesire

i have found the Mistress who is training me to be her personal slave. Thank you all for your input. May you all find your Dreams...simplydesire.

And who said you can't find twue wuv in less than 2 weeks....good luck with that.

yep, nothing like posting about not having a Dominant to get the online juices flowing.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to GreeneGoddess)

Post #: 19

RE: Inpressing a Mistress.. - 12/21/2008 8:09:43 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

This

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2341930/tm.htm

is not it.

Wow.....eye-opener! Wish I had seen that before responding to a post in the switch forum.

*walks away, shaking her head*

And as the dominant in question in the switch thread... I would like to point out my new siggy line and add thanks to Stella who asked that I be left alone. I am prepared... and I am not happy, but... I do tend to deal with these things with backbone and every recourse open to me. I just hope this new one... does background checks too.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 20

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