RE: Intimacy and D/s

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Intimacy and D/s

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Intimacy and D/s

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 4:50:52 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't think intimacy is an emotion, fragile or otherwise .......but yes, we have a deeply intimate relationship.

agirl

agirl,

Well then how would you describe it? I am always open to counter thoughts.

CP

I think it describes a relationship or situation..ie having a close connection (OED..close familiarity or friendship...). It isn't an *emotion* in and of itself. People IN intimate relationships do tend to share an emotional bond, though.

I don't see it as anything fragile, I have to admit. To achieve it there has to be a fair amount of robustness.

agirl

agirl,

ok now I think we disagree, intimacy is a fragile thing in my eyes and we have to keep working at it to keep it alive.

CP

(in reply to agirl)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 4:53:32 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Is it needed in your view?

kallisto,

methinks your right on the point, not needed for many but important to an equal number. thanks for your thoughts.

CP

It is needed and wanted for me. IMO, both people in the relationship have to want it and need it for it to be there in the relationship. Both have to feel it. But it certainly is not needed for everyone nor for every relationship to be satisfying or fulfilling.

(in reply to kallisto)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 5:08:58 AM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

Intimacy is essential, for me. Without it, I can't move anywhere in a relationship. I need the trust, and closeness in the relationship. It's essential. Without it, it's just, kink and sex. It's like eating dessert for dinner, You may not be hungry for an hour but you won't feel so great in another hour.

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 5:40:46 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't think intimacy is an emotion, fragile or otherwise .......but yes, we have a deeply intimate relationship.

agirl

agirl,

Well then how would you describe it? I am always open to counter thoughts.

CP

I think it describes a relationship or situation..ie having a close connection (OED..close familiarity or friendship...). It isn't an *emotion* in and of itself. People IN intimate relationships do tend to share an emotional bond, though.

I don't see it as anything fragile, I have to admit. To achieve it there has to be a fair amount of robustness.

agirl

agirl,

ok now I think we disagree, intimacy is a fragile thing in my eyes and we have to keep working at it to keep it alive.

CP

I don't disagree with you at all. My experience and view just differs.

I see MOST things, including intimacy, regarding my relationship, as strong rather than fragile. The foundations on which it has all been built have a firm, solid base that little has rocked. It has survived many things and grown year upon year.

The intimacy that M and I have has developed through work, commitment and care, and time has proved to us that it's far from fragile.

agirl

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 5:58:20 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

anyone can beat and fuck me; it takes a whole lot more than that to establish a relationship with me or make me wish to submit to someone, and yes, that means i need intimacy. i haven't had any relationship without it being a major driving factor.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 7:17:58 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy? That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

I went without intimacy for a long time and was just fine with that. Now I am in a developing relationship where intimacy exists naturally and at a very basic level. I find myself feeling peaceful and content as a result. I could not return to a non-intimate relationship at this point.

But I do not believe intimacy is an emotion, nor do I believe it is fragile (at least not in my case). Intimacy is a sharing of each other and can exist at various levels. Fragile means it is easily broken and should be handled with great care...? While I believe intimacy should be cherished and not taken for granted, I also believe it is as strong as the trust between those sharing that intimacy.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 11:43:53 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

I haven't had a D/s relationship that wasn't also sexual, and sex just seems more or less bundled with intimacy for me .

Over the long term, I mean.

I don't mean that every time I do something sexual, it has to have an emotionally intimate component. No.

But eventually I think my interests would just lead me there. It would develop.

Even if I somehow just had a sexual servant that I could use purely for my pleasure, I think at some point very soon my pleasure would include a bunch of mushy stuff, the tender as well as the crude, to sort of give the whole thing balance.

Even if they were just a really good servant, I think over time I would begin to experience a deep level of gratitude for them being my servant. (This is conjecture on my part, since I have not had a relationship with someone that didn't include intimacy - or, not a relationship that lasted long enough to really be properly referred to as such.)

One thing that appeals to me about wiitwd is occasionally exploring places where we feel some vulnerability, and coming away from that stronger for having had the support and acceptance of a partner.

Anyway, to do that it takes some build up of trust and intimacy over time, for me.

It's hard for me to imagine having that trust; having the confidence in someone, without the intimacy part, though I suppose it is possible.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 12:20:12 PM

Feliciasub

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline

i am the kind of submissive that could never get involved in a relationship without intimacy. i have to feel that i am connected to my Dom above the ''physical'' aspect. submissiveness for me is dedicating my body AND soul to my Lord.

In my humble opinion, a D/s relationship without intamacy is like a human being without lungs... it can't breath

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 12:23:13 PM

kdmfl

Posts: 118
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline

Personally I think there has to be intimacy to get the most out of a D/s relationship. The experience can and often happen and be fantastic but to get the most out of the relationship there has to be complete trust which can only occur in a personal intimate relationship

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 1:09:33 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

When Sir and I got together intimacy was not a factor. Actually it is to both of our liking for it not to been there. As time went by, and trust and faith had been earned, intimacy became a bi-product. Odd how that happens, what you don't expect reveals itself anyways. Intimacy is something that I do value, but opening myself to it, is a slow progress.

oceanwynds

(in reply to kdmfl)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 4:15:15 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: utopicus

No, I don't have it at present, but I long for it.
Now, it depends one one's needs. As for me, so long there's no emotional bond present, we can't talk about intimacy.

utopicus,

Well I assume that you had once found it, so how did you identify it as such?

CP

(in reply to utopicus)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 4:16:45 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I don't need it. But I have it.

LA,

Then it must be siad that your fortunate twice over.

CP

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/18/2008 4:37:38 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

It is not necessary for me., nor do I request it.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/19/2008 4:03:59 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

The deepest...most intimate realtionship/s I ever experienced were those that involved...D/s...M/s dynamics...

I was first of all forced to look at myself...the good...bad...and ugly...

Then and only then was I able to give all of myself to...someone...

Ya...

TC,

Then I assume that it is a necessity for you!

CP

(in reply to ThundersCry)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/19/2008 4:05:59 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Intimacy, for me, is a must. I don't think it's an emotion. I think it's the way that we expose and share ourselves with our partners.

Mistress,

Then you refer to it as an activity?????

CP

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/19/2008 4:12:52 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

All of my bdsm relationships except for this last one have had no intimacy. They all sucked in comparison to the one that has it. I have been ruined...

Aileen,

"ruined' as in a good way or in a bad way?

Inm any case we can adjust and keep going / thanks for the input!

CP

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/19/2008 4:14:09 AM

NormalOutside

Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

Yes, definitely. Intimacy goes right alongside the D/s connection for me and for us.

_____________________________

I won't see your reply, because I don't use this account anymore.

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/19/2008 4:16:49 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

All of my bdsm relationships except for this last one have had no intimacy. They all sucked in comparison to the one that has it. I have been ruined...

Aileen,

"ruined' as in a good way or in a bad way?

Inm any case we can adjust and keep going / thanks for the input!

CP

Ruined in a good way. I will never settle for less than intimacy.

_____________________________

The Red

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/19/2008 4:17:56 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Since D/S serves as a gateway to close intimacy between me and a girl, if it wasn't present in my relationship, then I would be doing something very wrong.

Rabbit,

Well some folks think they have it and do not, for they no not how it can manifest itself.

CP

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: Intimacy and D/s - 12/19/2008 4:20:08 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy? That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

I WAS going to say that I have a certain level of intimacy in most of my relationships, regardless of type. Then I read the part that I bolded and came to a screeching halt. If that is how you define intimacy then no, I don't need it nor have I had it more than once in my life. Even then, I don't know that it was a good thing. My private thoughts are just that, private. It's been my experience that most people don't even want to know them.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 60