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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

Yes..  Is it needed?  Well it depends on the type of relationship I want.  To have a deeply loving and trusting relationship.. intimacy would be a must.  But intimacy is not need for me to have power dynamics and/or Erotic play with another person.  But it will not be the path towards a deeply loving and trusting relationship for me.... developing intimacy is that path.

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ORIGINAL: DomDG

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

.Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

Jumping in here without reading any of the replies. 

I have to say that in the relationship I want intimacy.  I can play with people without intimacy.  But even as a Dom I like that intimacy that sends the sparks between us.  The moments of intimacy are often what bring people closer.

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ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

We do not have a D/s relationship and never will. But yes it's there,  and  intimacy is a requirement in all my relationships.

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy?  That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

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ORIGINAL: agirl

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

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ORIGINAL: agirl

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

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ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't think intimacy is an emotion, fragile or otherwise .......but yes, we have a deeply intimate relationship.

agirl

agirl,

Well then how would you describe it? I am always open to counter thoughts.

CP

I think it describes a relationship or situation..ie having a close connection (OED..close familiarity or friendship...). It isn't an *emotion* in and of itself. People IN intimate relationships do tend to share an emotional bond, though.

I don't see it as anything fragile, I have to admit. To achieve it there has to be a fair amount of robustness.

agirl
 
agirl,
 
ok now I think we disagree, intimacy is a fragile thing in my eyes and we have to keep working at it to keep it alive.
 
CP

I don't disagree with you at all. My experience and view just differs.

I see MOST things, including intimacy, regarding my relationship, as strong rather than fragile. The foundations on which it has all been built have a firm, solid base that little has rocked. It has survived many things and grown year upon year.

The intimacy that M and I have has developed through work, commitment and care, and time has proved to us that it's far from fragile.

agirl
 
Well I am impressed! agirl that closely follows a thread! / good on both of you for firming it up to a stronger connection than most are able.
 
CP

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ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

anyone can beat and fuck me; it takes a whole lot more than that to establish a relationship with me or make me wish to submit to someone, and yes, that means i need intimacy.  i haven't had any relationship without it being a major driving factor.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy?  That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

I went without intimacy for a long time and was just fine with that.  Now I am in a developing relationship where intimacy exists naturally and at a very basic level.  I find myself feeling peaceful and content as a result.  I could not return to a non-intimate relationship at this point.

But I do not believe intimacy is an emotion, nor do I believe it is fragile (at least not in my case).  Intimacy is a sharing of each other and can exist at various levels.  Fragile means it is easily broken and should be handled with great care...?  While I believe intimacy should be cherished and not taken for granted, I also believe it is as strong as the trust between those sharing that intimacy. 

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy?  That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

I went without intimacy for a long time and was just fine with that.  Now I am in a developing relationship where intimacy exists naturally and at a very basic level.  I find myself feeling peaceful and content as a result.  I could not return to a non-intimate relationship at this point.

But I do not believe intimacy is an emotion, nor do I believe it is fragile (at least not in my case).  Intimacy is a sharing of each other and can exist at various levels.  Fragile means it is easily broken and should be handled with great care...?  While I believe intimacy should be cherished and not taken for granted, I also believe it is as strong as the trust between those sharing that intimacy. 

NuevaVida,

Damn and we used to agree on so much.  I my view intimacy is an emotion simply because you can feel it, it does not just exist!

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fragile because if not taken care of it can simply disappear. 

CP

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ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Without intimacy, I'd have no use for the enterprise. 
Davan

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy?  That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

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ORIGINAL: Jeptha

I haven't had a D/s relationship that wasn't also sexual, and sex just seems more or less bundled with intimacy for me .

Over the long term, I mean.

I don't mean that every time I do something sexual, it has to have an emotionally intimate component. No.

But eventually I think my interests would just lead me there. It would develop.

Even if I somehow just had a sexual servant that I could use purely for my pleasure, I think at some point very soon my pleasure would include a bunch of mushy stuff, the tender as well as the crude, to sort of give the whole thing balance.

Even if they were just a really good servant, I think over time I would begin to experience a deep level of gratitude for them being my servant. (This is conjecture on my part, since I have not had a relationship with someone that didn't include intimacy - or, not a relationship that lasted long enough to really be properly referred to as such.)

One thing that appeals to me about wiitwd is occasionally exploring places where we feel some vulnerability, and coming away from that stronger for having had the support and acceptance of a partner.

Anyway, to do that it takes some build up of trust and intimacy over time, for me.

It's hard for me to imagine having that trust; having the confidence in someone, without the intimacy part, though I suppose it is possible.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy?  That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

I WAS going to say that I have a certain level of intimacy in most of my relationships, regardless of type. Then I read the part that I bolded and came to a screeching halt. If that is how you define intimacy then no, I don't need it nor have I had it more than once in my life. Even then, I don't know that it was a good thing. My private thoughts are just that, private. It's been my experience that most people don't even want to know them.

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ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

Yes...
 
It ruined me -L-
 
Merry Xmas to you and yours Celtic...

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy?  That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

I went without intimacy for a long time and was just fine with that.  Now I am in a developing relationship where intimacy exists naturally and at a very basic level.  I find myself feeling peaceful and content as a result.  I could not return to a non-intimate relationship at this point.

But I do not believe intimacy is an emotion, nor do I believe it is fragile (at least not in my case).  Intimacy is a sharing of each other and can exist at various levels.  Fragile means it is easily broken and should be handled with great care...?  While I believe intimacy should be cherished and not taken for granted, I also believe it is as strong as the trust between those sharing that intimacy. 

NuevaVida,

Damn and we used to agree on so much.  I my view intimacy is an emotion simply because you can feel it, it does not just exist!

Heh.  Well I'm in a bit of a transition in my life and a lot of my thoughts/views are changing a bit.  I believe emotions come from intimacy.  Perhaps that's the part you're meaning when you say you feel it.  I can be intimate (verb) and I can experience various emotions as a result.

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fragile because if not taken care of it can simply disappear. 

CP

I think I understand now.  To you, intimacy is the feeling of closeness in a relationship...yes?  If that's the case, I see where you're coming from.  To me, intimacy is the act that brings closeness. 

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

CP

I have it in both of My relationships.  It is essential in My relationship with My husband.  At this point in My dynamic with clip, it is needed as well.  Of course, neither started out that way.  For Me, intimacy is something that comes over time.

The question you didn't ask (I haven't read the entire thread) is do I need it with everyone with whom I engage in BDSM?  For Me, no I don't.  It is not a requirement for casual play.

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ORIGINAL: eyesopened

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is of course established that the D/s path abounds with the power and erotic factors; but have you ever taken the time to ponder if there is real intimacy involved in the relationship? A relationship can indeed be satisfying to most if the power and eroticism is present but how about intimacy?  That fragile emotion that allows you to really revel in what you have in the relationship; the sharing without a concern your most private thoughts.

Do you have it in your relationship? Is it needed in your view?

eyes,

An yet another decenting view re emotion or not / thanks for your thoughts.

CP

CP

Intimacy is a state of being and not itself an emotion.  In my view, sharing of emotions requires intimacy.  Sharing emotions is not a requirement of most SMBD activities.  Again, my opinion and experience.

Do I have it in my relationship?  yes!  Is it needed?  In this relationship, it is absolutely necessary.

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

NV,

Well we are getting closer, but for me intimacy is much more mental than physical; as in it allows the physical to manifest inself, be it verbal or core sex.

CP