bosch
Posts: 14
Joined: 5/5/2008 Status: offline
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quote:
It was while we were talking about his next planned trip that I told him that I was still dating and playing occasionally with another, not a Dominant, but sexual in nature. He was not happy about that, at least thats the way it seemed to me, and he expressed a desire to have me be 'His'. I did not agree to that at first, for several reason, one that he is long distance, two that I had never even spoken with him on the phone (he did give me his number when we had our second encounter but I know my place and did not try to initiate contact), and three because of the pain/hurt that I had just come through. I did desire to say yes however as I do like this man a great deal. If he gave you his number, why is it not your 'place' to initiate contact? Is that something you both agreed to? You also say that he 'did not seem happy'.... OK - here are your tasks: (1) Sit down and write down (and I mean write) out exactly what you think you need from a long-distance relationship with this person. How much communication do you require? How much real-time? Monogamy? All those things that would give a framework to the relationship. You have the luxury of being able to map out what you need - no one is forcing you into anything. Then give your list to this person. If he can work with those requirements, then he deserves your submission. Otherwise it's just going to fail. (2) Stop assuming. Everything. If you have a question about something he says or a way that he reacts, politely ask for clarification. Talk through it until you understand exactly what is being said.
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