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RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 12/25/2008 10:56:10 PM   
TinkACD


Posts: 16
Joined: 9/12/2007
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline 		mmmmmmm.... this is Tinks Master "A" , the thing that confuses me most is that we have females answering questions on a MASTER'S forum, should you not be on the Domme's/Mistress's forum? answering the questions posted there?I would have been led to believe that if  whom ever is posting wanted the opinion of a woman would they not have posted in a forum specific to that gender? or are the women posting here "Masters"...is it anywonder that people end up confused, be assured that if my slave was caught posting in a forum dedicated to Master's she would loose the skin from her back!

(in reply to JRiddle)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 12/26/2008 12:03:41 AM   
ModeratorEleven


Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline 		Any user is welcome to post in any of our forums as long as they follow the rules.  If you don't want to read the responses from certain people, no one is forcing you to.  Skip them and be on your merry way.

XI


_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to TinkACD)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 12/26/2008 1:57:19 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TinkACD

mmmmmmm.... this is Tinks Master "A" , the thing that confuses me most is that we have females answering questions on a MASTER'S forum, should you not be on the Domme's/Mistress's forum? answering the questions posted there?I would have been led to believe that if  whom ever is posting wanted the opinion of a woman would they not have posted in a forum specific to that gender? or are the women posting here "Masters"...is it anywonder that people end up confused, be assured that if my slave was caught posting in a forum dedicated to Master's she would loose the skin from her back!


Aye it can be confusing until you get used to it. I and other Dominants I know have been known to post replies in “Ask a Mistress” and “Ask a submissive/slave” forums also. On the whole what we get are replies from the perspective of a Mistress, a Switch, or a sub/slave. This has the advantage of broadening the perspective of answers and it is up to the individual, especially the poster, how much weight they place on the responses from non Masters (i.e. Male Dominants). I know at times it almost appears with some threads as if the Ask a Master forum is an overflow from the general Board but even though non Masters reply the original post or question is still directed to Masters or Male Dominants and could get buried in a General Board. I would hope that ypu may be persuaded to rethink this regarding your Tinka. This Forum would be that much poorer if Tink were not permitted to respond to posts here.



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to TinkACD)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/3/2009 5:02:01 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze

When I screw up, I usually am overly hard on myself mentally and let guilt cause me a lot of emotional pain. Being punished helps me deal with the guilt.

Well it has been a while now since I brought this topic up and this response in particular addresses the reason I might resort to punishment.  I can certainly see a need to use punishment to help Mine feel that she has atoned for whatever impropriety she may have committed and, in fact, looking back I can say I have actually done this, though I did not think of it as punishment so much as giving penance for a thing she felt terrible about so that she could put her guilt aside and return to a normal and healthy frame of mind.  There are times when My verbal lessons alone do not take all the internal pain she feels over doing something that has displeased Me, even on those occasions when she simply did not know any better (some of My pet peeves are not obvious and I do not think to communicate them until they come up).  At those times, My 'correction', though painful, is really much more like a hug after a stern talking to than a disciplinary action.  In any case, I have never had occasion to correct such an event a second time, so I see no reason to change that.

Thank you all for the thoughtful and thought provoking responses to this query.  I have found them to be very enlightening, and I will consider what I have read very carefully if and when next the need arises.


_____________________________


Use your head can't you use your head? You're on Earth! There's no cure for that! - Samuel Beckett (Endgame)

(in reply to Soyokaze)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 8:36:40 AM   
M4STER


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline 		I recommend everyone here to read the book Behavior Analysis and Learning by Pierce and Cheney. You will learn everything about rewards, punishments, their effect and different aspects. After reading this book you will look at this thread very differently.

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 8:44:02 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M4STER

I recommend everyone here to read the book Behavior Analysis and Learning by Pierce and Cheney. You will learn everything about rewards, punishments, their effect and different aspects. After reading this book you will look at this thread very differently.


The only problem with this is the global statement: "I recommend everyone here to read the book Behavior Analysis and Learning by Pierce and Cheney." It is quite possible that quite a few have either read it or even have a copy. I know I'm only one of a few people with degrees in Psychology here...  Still it is a good thought and for those who haven't, it is not a bad work to read..... 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to M4STER)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 9:15:58 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		Besides that...reading a book and understanding it..is something completely different.
Not all people see the things in book...for what it is written.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 9:26:08 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TinkACD

mmmmmmm.... this is Tinks Master "A" , the thing that confuses me most is that we have females answering questions on a MASTER'S forum, should you not be on the Domme's/Mistress's forum? answering the questions posted there?I would have been led to believe that if  whom ever is posting wanted the opinion of a woman would they not have posted in a forum specific to that gender? or are the women posting here "Masters"...is it anywonder that people end up confused, be assured that if my slave was caught posting in a forum dedicated to Master's she would loose the skin from her back!

how uptight

(in reply to TinkACD)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 9:38:17 AM   
M4STER


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

Besides that...reading a book and understanding it..is something completely different.
Not all people see the things in book...for what it is written.



Thanks for your input. I am recommending a book for people interested in behavior and obedience training. It is not of my concern if people are not interested in reading or are dislexic. There are facts, information and research about all aspects of behavior training in this book, if people read it they will gain knowledge and insight. So for those interested go get the book!

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 9:41:57 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M4STER


quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

Besides that...reading a book and understanding it..is something completely different.
Not all people see the things in book...for what it is written.



Thanks for your input. I am recommending a book for people interested in behavior and obedience training. It is not of my concern if people are not interested in reading or are dislexic. There are facts, information and research about all aspects of behavior training in this book, if people read it they will gain knowledge and insight. So for those interested go get the book!


It was not meant critical.
I meant if it is a professional book....people might not understand it. Sometimes books are to technical to understand for people not involved in that area.
The remark about "dislexic"is a bit sad.

(in reply to M4STER)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 9:43:48 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		Dyslexia has nothing to do with whether people like to read or not, it may be more difficult but I know a lot of people with dyslexia who enjoy reading.

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 10:02:15 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I know I'm only one of a few people with degrees in Psychology here...  Still it is a good thought and for those who haven't, it is not a bad work to read..... 

Very true... here's a few more titles for interested readers.

Understanding Human Nature by Aflred Adler
The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, by Afred Adler
Adlerian Counseling: A Practicioner's Approach by Thomas J Sweeney, Ph. D.
Behavior Modification: Principles and Procedures, 3rd Ed. by Raymond G Miltenberger
Behavior Modification: What is it and How to Do It, 7th Ed. by Garry Martin & Joseph Pear
Applied Behavior Analysis by Cooper, Heron and Heward

I believe all are still in print and available through Barnes & Noble or Amazon

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 10:32:59 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Now old friend you are cooking with gas. I have long believed that all Dominants probably need to understand psychology and in particular the psychology of relationship dynamics.. Just makes sense to me.. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 12:43:27 PM   
M4STER


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness


quote:

ORIGINAL: M4STER


quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

Besides that...reading a book and understanding it..is something completely different.
Not all people see the things in book...for what it is written.



Thanks for your input. I am recommending a book for people interested in behavior and obedience training. It is not of my concern if people are not interested in reading or are dislexic. There are facts, information and research about all aspects of behavior training in this book, if people read it they will gain knowledge and insight. So for those interested go get the book!


It was not meant critical.
I meant if it is a professional book....people might not understand it. Sometimes books are to technical to understand for people not involved in that area.
The remark about "dislexic"is a bit sad.


Ok, I admit it was harsh using dislexic. The book is good, it is professional but easy understanding the main principles in the first chapters. There are chapters that are more complex, but for someone really interested in behaviour it is very interesting.

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 12:44:32 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		I will have a look for it.
thank you for the suggestion.

(in reply to M4STER)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 1:37:53 PM   
M4STER


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline 		You are welcome. Stay in touch if you like to discuss any of the subjects in the book or chapters.

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 3:09:35 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I have long believed that all Dominants probably need to understand psychology and in particular the psychology of relationship dynamics..

I agree... and even if they don't want to tackle psychology per se, they ought to at least take a course on effective communication, or perhaps pick up a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People."  Having a dominant personality is one thing... being able to effectively exert their will over another is another matter.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: It is the 21st century. Do you still punish your s... - 1/7/2009 4:20:52 PM   
M4STER


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I have long believed that all Dominants probably need to understand psychology and in particular the psychology of relationship dynamics..

I agree... and even if they don't want to tackle psychology per se, they ought to at least take a course on effective communication, or perhaps pick up a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People."  Having a dominant personality is one thing... being able to effectively exert their will over another is another matter.


I agree with both of you and since Ironbear has openly spoken of his degree in psychology I would be grateful to get suggestions for professional reading material on relationship dynamics. Would you be so kind to share with us Ironbear?

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 58
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