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RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 9:29:38 AM

utopicus

Posts: 97
Joined: 8/27/2008
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If I was punished in public I would feel terribly humiliated; of course, it depends on the punishment and how "public" the public is. Likewise, the reason for punishment... Could it wait till we get to home?
I believe that a "You just wait to get to home, and I'll show you..." glance is far more "productive" than a "on the spot" punishment - just imagine the anticipation...

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 21

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 9:33:00 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Perhaps you should spend less time posting and more time considering why you're so judgmental and stuck on insisting adults do this, or adults don't do this, or this is right and this isn't. Because all the posts of yours I've read this morning have this do this not that, theme and this don't belong but this does theme..

There is NO one right way to do things, and you're never going to get very far appearing to be insisting that all people should have the same morals as you do, and believe the same things you do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Would you punish your slave in public if he embarrassed you or annoyed you by his/her behaviour or would you wait till you got home. Or with adults is there just no place for punishment in today's world, we either click as a partnership or we part our ways
kevin

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 22

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 9:39:49 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Just one look will do until we are more private. Then depending on what has happened... all bets are off and he knows it... I think that alone is punishment especially if we aren't private for a while. He knows... That alone shuts down whatever was happening.

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(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 23

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 9:45:07 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Well now that depends on what the punishment was.

Lets pretend we're out on a date, if we're supposed to be having a great lunch and dessert and top it off with buying a new sex toy for us to use together, lets say, and then you misbehaved, I'd make you sit quietly at the table and you wouldn't get the fabulous lunch you would of been having if you'd behaved. And when we went to the sex shop I'd make you stay in the car While I picked something out and had fun, Then when we got home I'd make you sit somewhere else while I tried out the new toy.

The punishment wouldn't be infringing on any one else's rights, and it wouldn't be outright obvious, but you're not getting to partake in the fun anymore because you couldn't or wouldn't behave, now you have to watch me having all the fun and keep shut about it. That would be a mighty effective punishment in my mind, to see all the fun you could of been having but for bad behavior.

quote:

ORIGINAL: utopicus

If I was punished in public I would feel terribly humiliated; of course, it depends on the punishment and how "public" the public is. Likewise, the reason for punishment... Could it wait till we get to home?
I believe that a "You just wait to get to home, and I'll show you..." glance is far more "productive" than a "on the spot" punishment - just imagine the anticipation...

(in reply to utopicus)

Post #: 24

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:08:22 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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I would discipline a servant -immediately- in the same way that I would say something to a companion or deal with a mis-behaving offspring. However, it wouldn't be done in such a way that it would be blatant and obvious to strangers walking down the street (aside from me looking pissed). I don't understand why people seem to think that it isn't possible to be direct and maintain control, -and- be discrete. I've never had an issue with it.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 25

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:11:59 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
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No Ma'am im not being judgemental. if you read what i say, im saying is there no place for punishment with adults, im throwing out the question, if i was judgemental i would say there is no place for punishment of adults, but i didnt say that
thanks
kevin

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 26

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:14:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LickableLevia
If by public you are in a club, where no one will think anything of it, then I would think it appropaite.

That's false actually. Many kinksters do not want to be involved in someone else's dynamic and messing up their fun social party energy with your negative punishment energy can be quite rude and annoying. It's not "wrong" necessarily, but just because we're all kinksters doesn't mean we all want to be in eachothers bad business.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LickableLevia)

Post #: 27

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:16:05 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: utopicus
If I was punished in public I would feel terribly humiliated; of course, it depends on the punishment and how "public" the public is. Likewise, the reason for punishment... Could it wait till we get to home?
I believe that a "You just wait to get to home, and I'll show you..." glance is far more "productive" than a "on the spot" punishment - just imagine the anticipation...

Actually the closer the reactive behavior is to the behavior which needs changing in time, the MORE effective it is. Waiting makes it less effective in terms of behavioral conditioning. Anticipation of punishment is meaningless when you actually want them to stop doing that behavior and pick a new behavioral map.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to utopicus)

Post #: 28

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:29:00 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

That's being judgmental. You're saying there's no place for punishing adults. If we're adults punishment is inappropriate. It doesn't matter which way you stated it, weather it's there's no place for punishment with adults, or there's no place for punishment of adults, You're still saying the same thing, just saying it differently..

Now, maybe if you had said in my relationship, the difference being you're refering to yours and not ALL adults, then it wouldn't be judgmental.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

No Ma'am im not being judgemental. if you read what i say, im saying is there no place for punishment with adults, im throwing out the question, if i was judgemental i would say there is no place for punishment of adults, but i didnt say that
thanks
kevin

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 29

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:35:31 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

No all punishment is wildly exhibitionistic nor is all punishment overt and would draw tons of attention.

I can effectively punish you at my nieces party at Chucky cheeses, and nobody would notice or care, IF I knew which buttons to push on you and have not done anything outward. Hell for me being at Chucky cheese would be punishment enough I hate loud and noisy places like that.

And actually for most cases if you wait till you get home it won't be as effective, since time has elapsed and perhaps maybe the events not fresh in his mind. If Daddy wants to stop a behavior, and wants it to mean something to me he needs to correct it WHEN it happened, not later at home, which could be hours away.

People need to open their minds and think outside the box a little bit. Not all punishment is overt, or kinky, or inappropriate in public. See my post to the other poster about lunch and a misbehaving sub wouldn't get any.

It's perfectly appropriate, nobody would care the man at my table wasn't eating a fancy lunch or didn't buy dessert. But my sub sure would mind, and he'd know he's not getting any fancy lunch or he's eating lunch but it's something he hates cause he decided not to behave.

Another Example would be if say we were at a party and he wasn't listening to me, I could go make him stand outside for 25 minutes, while I stayed in and socialized. And if my sub was anything like me, being made to miss the party, would really make me wake up and behave instantly. And if it didn't then he could just go home, and spend the rest of the night in solitary in the bathtun sleeping, with no tv and no fun.

Again, very very appropriate to your dynamic and nobody else would ever batt an eye about someone leaving the party early or for 25 minutes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LickableLevia

It would depend on the sititation, and just how public an event is taking place. If by public you are in a club, where no one will think anything of it, then I would think it appropaite. Are you at chucky cheese, at your neices bday party?? Maybe you shuold wait till ya get home :)

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 12/21/2008 10:44:11 AM >

(in reply to LickableLevia)

Post #: 30

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:39:35 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Hell.
The absolute worst punishment I know for any slave is just to sit down real quiet and calm and tell them exactly how disappointed in them I am.
After that, pretty much anything I do to her is far less than what she is doing to herself internally.
I can do that anywhere, restaurants, airports, wherever.

In some ways, it would be actually much much crueler to do so.
Think it through.
In public she can't do any of the usual slave reactions, beg, crawl, grovel. She just has to take it because no matter what her transgression may have been.
God help her if she makes a spectacle.
I have very strong feelings and what is proper and what is not in public.

There are lots and lots of ways to punish someone.
It just takes a little originality. There is no reason I can see that it could not be done in public.

If nothing else, I always can just slam the entire night to a stop. No matter where we are or what we are doing, just say grab the stuff, we are leaving now.
That takes it right out of the public arena and there is no damn way at that point she isn't going to know that she has made a serious mistake.

Just my thoughts as always.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 31

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 10:49:33 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

EXACTLY, I mean where did punishment ever have to become this huge attention drawing thing that would piss off the vanilla locals.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Hell.
The absolute worst punishment I know for any slave is just to sit down real quiet and calm and tell them exactly how disappointed in them I am.
After that, pretty much anything I do to her is far less than what she is doing to herself internally.
I can do that anywhere, restaurants, airports, wherever.

In some ways, it would be actually much much crueler to do so.
Think it through.
In public she can't do any of the usual slave reactions, beg, crawl, grovel. She just has to take it because no matter what her transgression may have been.
God help her if she makes a spectacle.
I have very strong feelings and what is proper and what is not in public.

There are lots and lots of ways to punish someone.
It just takes a little originality. There is no reason I can see that it could not be done in public.

If nothing else, I always can just slam the entire night to a stop. No matter where we are or what we are doing, just say grab the stuff, we are leaving now.
That takes it right out of the public arena and there is no damn way at that point she isn't going to know that she has made a serious mistake.

Just my thoughts as always.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 32

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 11:18:42 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Adults don't go around annoying each other when they claim to like each other. Adults should know how to behave in public to begin with.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 33

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 12:09:21 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I disagree. Daddy annoys me sometimes, and we like each other. You're not going to never annoy someone just because you like them. Annoying somebody you're dating is not always a conscious thing. It;s not always a decsion.

Hell I am annoyed he spent 65 dollars on a video game for a 6 year old when we negotiated that gifts this year shouldn't be more than 40 dollars a piece since we're bordering broke., Does that mean I don't like him any more? NO it doesn't.

I get annoyed when he wants to spend 2 hours in the store when we already finished shopping and really should be leaving, Or I get annoyed when he refuses to tell the difference between his socks and mine, both are grey toes and heels, but mine look brand new and his doesn't and then he wears mine and ruins my brand new socks.

Does that mean I don't like him, cause if I really did like him I wouldn;t be annoyed at stall tactcis to stay longer.

NO it doesn't.

I annoy him when I ask him to turn the tv down repeatedly because the really loud shoot em up game he isplaying is Drowning out my ability to hear the TV. Does that mean that he really doesn't care about me and is lying about loving me

NO it doesn't.

So in conclusion, Adults who care about each other can annoy the others. Loving someone doesn't mean you'll always never ever in a million years be annoyed by them. Now if you chose to do things that are annoying on purpose, yeah but most annoyances people are talking about are NOT intentional or on purpose "I've annoyed them situations"

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Adults don't go around annoying each other when they claim to like each other. Adults should know how to behave in public to begin with.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 34

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 12:17:47 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He'd tell me to stop the behavior and I would. We would then discuss what was fueling this whenever we were feeling calmer. Which usually is after eating and sleeping since the simple physical things are what usually causing this. There's only a certain amount of running around I can do before I get tired, only a certain amount of control I have when I'm hungry. The AA acronym of H.A.L.T. turns out to be the cause of most stuff. Hungry, angry, tired and lonely. Figure out what's going on and solve it. If I'm irritable because I'm unfed, then stopping to eat is the best solution. Angry? Talk about what got you in this mood. Lonely, ask for a hug. Tired? Take a nap.

Most things are simple enough to fix if you're both self aware. And fixing them means you don't escalate the problem by punishing a person for being hungry by denying them food. When the oil light in the car comes on, I don't refuse to add oil, thus causing the engine to seize up, instead I add oil. If you are in touch with yourself, then the solution is usually obvious.

If you aren't sufficiently self aware, then the solution is to start checking in with yourself. Ask yourself when you last had a decent meal, a glass of water, a 15 minute catnap, a chat with a supportive friend. And start planning a routine that includes food and sleep at regular intervals.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 35

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 2:29:20 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Actually the closer the reactive behavior is to the behavior which needs changing in time, the MORE effective it is. Waiting makes it less effective in terms of behavioral conditioning. Anticipation of punishment is meaningless when you actually want them to stop doing that behavior and pick a new behavioral map.

In principle LA I agree with you here which is why my removal of specific privelages on the spot and informing the errent slave of my displeasure is, I believe, often sufficient punishment and yet, informing them also that we will have a "talk" in my study when we get home also indicates that we need to sort out the why's of the problem. All to often in my opinion when we are discussing punishment or behavioural modification we looks at the steps to accomplish this where as half the remedy is also finding out what has caused the problem and as the owner or person in control we must also be ready to accept responsibility if it turns out that the problem is at least in part our fault for incorrect or insufficient training or teachings.

_____________________________

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 36

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/21/2008 5:04:22 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

He'd recieve a vanilla appropriate version out in public, then once we got home he'd get the D/s version.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 37

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/22/2008 7:27:01 AM

HypnoticShadow

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/8/2008
From: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

That's being judgmental. You're saying there's no place for punishing adults. If we're adults punishment is inappropriate. It doesn't matter which way you stated it, weather it's there's no place for punishment with adults, or there's no place for punishment of adults, You're still saying the same thing, just saying it differently..

Now, maybe if you had said in my relationship, the difference being you're refering to yours and not ALL adults, then it wouldn't be judgmental.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

No Ma'am im not being judgemental. if you read what i say, im saying is there no place for punishment with adults, im throwing out the question, if i was judgemental i would say there is no place for punishment of adults, but i didnt say that
thanks
kevin

I don't see where he is being judgemental. He is saying, "Is there no place for punishment with adults?", not "There is no place for punishment with adults." The first is simply a question, the second, a judgement.

_____________________________

- A closed mind is the ultimate prison.

- "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 38

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/22/2008 7:35:47 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Would you punish your slave in public if he embarrassed you or annoyed you by his/her behaviour or would you wait till you got home. Or with adults is there just no place for punishment in today's world, we either click as a partnership or we part our ways
kevin

I have no problem with punishment in public. The manner in which it is done depends on where we would be. I like to tell my submissive exactly what she has done wrong and that it has displeased me. Like Kana, Knight, many other dominants on here, a big part of what I expect from a submissive is the ability to look within themselves and figure out...when something is brought home to them...their reasons for having behaved in such a way. The lecture...which, as Kyra noted, simply appears to many to be an annoyed man speaking to his partner...is not so much of a spectacle that it draws unwanted attention. If there is to be a physical manifestation of punishment or a behavioral reinforcement, then a look usually tells the submissive that there is more to come.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 39

RE: Would you punish your slave in public - 12/22/2008 8:10:36 AM

Feliciasub

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline

if i did something that deserve a punishment, then i shall be punished right away. however there are some places that are not appropriate for that ex.: family meeting

quote:

Original: Celticlord2112

Absolutely I will punish in public.

What I will not do is make punishment a public spectacle. Folks can get their entertainment elsewhere.

i have to agree with this.

and a punishement is not always physical. Sometimes it can be loosing a privilege ( this is just my sub opinion

)

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 40

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