Not the time or place !!

Not the time or place !! (Full Version)

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missturbation -> Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 4:27:07 PM)
Something said in another thread has me really curious about public play / home play and the levels we play to. Personally i play in public as hard as i do at home. For me a club is there to play in and for me to enjoy that play. I do realise and endeavour that my enjoyment should not be to the detriment of others enjoyment / play. So when it comes to playing at home / in clubs, do you play to the same level in both? If not, why not? *Just a note that this thread is not about heavy play vs light play. It is not about what heavy play is or what light play is. It is just plain and simply do you play harder at home than you would in a club whatever your level of play may be.

GreedyTop -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 4:29:49 PM)
in the past, normally, I would play harder OUT than at home.. probably because at home, play leads to sex.

tornaway -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 4:35:17 PM)
Certainly with me , it depends on who I'm with , and how comfortable we are where we are . The more ease - perhaps the more intensity . Though I find the deepest emotional intensity is with someone I genuinely care for , and have a connection with . And all the best of that would most likely occur in private - where anything goes ! [;)]

hejira92 -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 4:37:08 PM)
Lighter? Heavier? All relative. It leans different ways, because, as GT pointed out, He can't use sex/penetration in the public play. Sometimes this means more pain/impact play, sometimes less. (because sex can be HARD impact play. Lovely). So, it's just a different flavor. Of course, we are long term and committed as well as 'play partners'- so this may be just us- your results may vary.

mistoferin -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 5:39:15 PM)
We play much heavier at home than we do in public because in public....well....people sometimes get a little freaked out and also because many clubs/parties have rules about things like no take down play, no primal play, no blood, etc. Also, we save the really intimate sexual stuff for home. The other thing that limits play in public is time limits. Most clubs allow 30 mins to an hour on a particular station. People are waiting in line to use them. You can't always hop off one station and directly on to another. So that is rather limiting as you can't do 4 to 8 hrs of impact play (or any other kind of play) like we frequently do at home.

DomDG -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 5:42:03 PM)
Well, it does depend on who I am with and the rules of the club/dungeon. Our local group's dungeon allows for penetration with a barrier. It does not allow for golden showers, fire play or singletails. So I play differently at one over the other. I have been to a club that did not allow sex. So there it was different play. For me I play as hard in the scene I am doing as I would at home, within the rules of the locale.

StrictnSaucy -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 5:59:50 PM)
Harder at home. Infact I dont like playing in clubs because it is so limiting. We have only done so on a couple of occasions but to me its like getting half way there and then having to stop - wheres the fun or Dominance in that?

IronBear -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 6:11:11 PM)
For me public play is more of a showcase situation where pothers may assess my abilities and standards (this includes my ordinary handling of a slave too). It is a place where I can demonstrate a technique and receice critiques from poeople who i recognise as being safe experienced players (both Dominants and sub/slaves) and thus improve my abilkities. It is also a place where I can see demonstrated some things new to me and mayhap even get instructions or a walk through. It is another place where I can meet, greet, mix and mingle with friends both new and old and help teach if required as well as help oiut in the group. On the other hand, private play is where I am more likely to enlarge my play to include the erotic, sensual and even the physical sexual. It is also where a slave or play partner may work with me teaching me new techniques or a variation he or she has experienced so I can increase my menue.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 6:18:27 PM)
Depends on the crowd. It's not a matter of hard or soft, just intimate. There are some things I don't do in public because the crowd around me wouldn't understand and would mess up the vibe, and some things are because myself wouldn't be in the vibe.

LadyPact -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 6:47:07 PM)
I play as hard in public as in private in certain areas. If it's something against dungeon rules, such as blood, etc., then I understand that those rules are in place to protect the club, yadda, yadda, yadda. Anything that's not against the dungeon's policy, I do with just as much intensity as I do in private. Ok. Now that I've said the prim and proper thing, I have to be honest here. I get away with a lot more stuff than some people do. I've been told on several occasions that I could bend the rules a bit in the later hours.

AquaticSub -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 7:01:05 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Valyraen doesn't play in public so it's just comparing what I do with others to what I do with him. I'd say not really. The only things I don't do that I do with him at home are because it's against the rules (bloody play, sex, etc) or because I haven't reached a required level comfortableness with the person I'm playing with.

trealeon -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 7:16:44 PM)
I definitely play as hard (if not harder) out in public than I do at home. I find it more fun and exciting. Like you said, I don't do it to other's deteriment, I'm not trying to make others uncomfortable (though it has happened). But that's part of the fun too, trying to be descrete. I've always gotten a rush out or public play in all forms.

pompeii -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 7:21:15 PM)
I'm amazed so many "play in public". I play almost exclusively, in private. What on earth could public play have that private play doesn't (that is erotic)? Is it that the people watching "makes" it more erotic? If so, that's just not for me as the whole erotic part is between me and the sub. I guess if the public eyes make HER feel sexier, then it might be ok. I guess.

AquaticSub -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 7:26:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii I'm amazed so many "play in public". I play almost exclusively, in private. What on earth could public play have that private play doesn't (that is erotic)? Is it that the people watching "makes" it more erotic? If so, that's just not for me as the whole erotic part is between me and the sub. I guess if the public eyes make HER feel sexier, then it might be ok. I guess. It's different people, better equipement than we can afford (or will probably ever want to spend the money on), variety of equipement, and allows one to experience new types of toys, different styles of using them and one can learn a lot from playing with others. It's not for everyone but not everyone likes chocolate either.

rachel529 -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 7:27:04 PM)
W/we have been exclusively private... but will don O/our public shoes soon. there are locals W/we are friends with. personally, i expect to be more limited in what is done, based on what O/our friends say is kosher.

trealeon -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 7:58:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii I'm amazed so many "play in public". I play almost exclusively, in private. What on earth could public play have that private play doesn't (that is erotic)? Is it that the people watching "makes" it more erotic? If so, that's just not for me as the whole erotic part is between me and the sub. I guess if the public eyes make HER feel sexier, then it might be ok. I guess. Honestly... it's the thrill... I think it's a personal thing... For instance... some people like roller coasters (actually a vast majority I'm sure) because of the thrill. I personally don't and I don't get how waiting in line for an hour to get a 2 1/2 minute "thrill" can even be worth it, but hey, it's not for me. Playing in public is my roller coaster. It's thrilling, and I play to "not get caught" so that's fun in and of itself... the whole... "how much can we get away with without other people noticing." It's just really fun especially when you realize that in general... people just don't pay attention to what's going on around them because they are so focused on themselves and what they are doing. So using that to my advantage to play in public is just fun, exciting and thrilling. But like I said... not for everyone... just like roller coasters

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 8:01:39 PM)
The only difference between home and clubs, is that at home we don't have to follow the rules of another persons establishment and can be as messy or as long or as loud or as inconsiderate as we want to be. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd that he's more likely to fuck me at home than at a playspace. Why you ask, because we don't use condoms since neither of us like them , and at plays paces you HAVE to it's the rule. quote:* ORIGINAL: missturbation So when it comes to playing at home / in clubs, do you play to the same level in both? If not, why not?

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 8:05:21 PM)
Well, dear Pompeii I can only speak for me, and for me it's a great exhibitionist appeal to know others are watching and appreciating my hard use. It's also a bit safer to take risks and play with strangers* and yes I will play with strangers I just met* at a play party since if something goes wrong you're not alone and helpless with them. And if it's the Master's Den event in San Fransisco, And daddy would ever let me be an objectification girl, Then I can safely have people come up and touch me and spank me and do kinky sexy exciting things to me and be safe about it because Daddy can stand there and watch and so will the monitors, and if any one steps out of line they will be told to stop or leave. Unlike if you should try this in an un monitored situation. And then of course, there's the furniture and situations I can't get into at home, since we have no room nor money for the kinds of awesome gear playspaces can have. quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii I'm amazed so many "play in public". I play almost exclusively, in private. What on earth could public play have that private play doesn't (that is erotic)? Is it that the people watching "makes" it more erotic? If so, that's just not for me as the whole erotic part is between me and the sub. I guess if the public eyes make HER feel sexier, then it might be ok. I guess.

trealeon -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 8:07:27 PM)
Oh you know, I think I misunderstood the original post. I was thinking it was about public play as in "in the everyday world public" not at like dungeons or sex clubs etc. I've never been to one of those.

Usako -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 8:12:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii I'm amazed so many "play in public". I play almost exclusively, in private. What on earth could public play have that private play doesn't (that is erotic)? Is it that the people watching "makes" it more erotic? If so, that's just not for me as the whole erotic part is between me and the sub. I guess if the public eyes make HER feel sexier, then it might be ok. I guess. 1) Don't live alone so can't play there. Hotels cost more money than the BDSM club. 2) The club has better equipment and usually a nice amount of space. 3) People are there. Can learn from watching other people and meet new people. Also, since I'm single I'm free to play with anyone I want and the club I have a choice. 4) It's safe. Meeting a stranger at a club and playing is better than meeting and going to their house. 5) I'm a shy person but public play can be a thrill at times and I know plenty of others like being watched.

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