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LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 5:39:35 AM

califsue

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I know there is much talk about LDR and those who do or do not participate in such. Was curious to see what people consider a LDR.
Is it 100 miles or more or the ability to see each other daily if you do
not live 24/7 with your partner. I think most of us want to find someone
local however depending on our location we may find that to be a challenge.

Post #: 1

RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 5:57:20 AM

SteelofUtah

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From: St George Utah
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I see an LDR as any relationship that due to Travel Makes the Majority of time communicated Via the Phone or Net. You can live 30 Miles from one another and it could be a LDR.

I also Consider the Amount of time inbetween visits a factor. If more than 3 months passes inbetwen visits then it is a LDR

IN MY OPINION. I know many see things differently but that is how I see it.

Steel

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 6:46:09 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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Daddy lives in Virginia and i live in IL and we're very happy with our type of relationshp and D/s dynamic

my pet lives wherever his meetings/projects take him ...so for now it's a ldr but that will change in Aug 2010

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 6:57:15 AM

sub4hire

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I don't know. When Doug and I first met we lived 88 miles away from one another. Though we spent a minimum of 3 days a week together.

Was it an LDR? Didn't feel like it to us. We still had the phone...etc.

I guess I think of an LDR as a relationship where you rarely get to see one another. When you do it is a chunk of time...then you don't see them for a long time again. You miss out on the day to day activities and have to hear them via some other type of communication.

Like I got a haircut today and they butchered my hair. I'd have to take a photo to show you rather than you seeing yourself.
Simple but that is my definition of LDR. I'm sure it does not match everyone's.

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 7:47:44 AM

kdmfl

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Joined: 12/3/2008
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I believe it is different for everyone. To me, anytime distance becomes a factor whether you can see each other it is a long distance relationship.

In the vanilla world there are lots of people with similar interests and tastes. However when you are in a lifestyle situation, it is much more difficult to find someone that you can develop a good relationship with that is satisfying for both parties. So sometimes a long distance relationship is better then sacrificing your needs and wants. I would rather travel to have a fulfilling relationship then have a convenient one where I am left feeling something is missing.

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Post #: 5

RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 7:52:04 AM

pompeii

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From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
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I agree, LDR is when you spend the majority of your time on your "local" live. You can live with a person and still have a LDR if you never see each other except at rare moments, for example, if both of you work, or are distant for whatever reason. These local LDRs I know well, don't ask me why. Sigh.

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 8:16:26 AM

FlamingRedhead

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From: Georgia
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I consider a long distance relationship one in which the other person lives over an hour away from me. I live in a rural area, so to expect to find someone within a 10-15 minute drive is a bit unrealistic since any town I could get to in that short amount of time is very small. Since I don't want to severely limit my options, I am willing to drive at least an hour. Anything over that, though, tends to cause more problems than I'm willing to deal with.

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 8:25:18 AM

CatdeMedici

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It's interesting that you address this issue, I was just creating a post about this--I think I still may as I wanted to point out some things people need to consider as they seek someone through a social network like this--and develop an LDR.

I consider LDR out of state, where plane, train, considerable driving has to take place (that's the first part) then where job, life, demands do not allow for frequent hops for visits. My third element though is an intent, a willingness or a history of travel to meet see each other. If not, I consider that to be virtual.

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 10:28:12 AM

everhope

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if you can not be flesh to flesh at least once a week, to me it is an LDR.

may we all find our bliss, even if it is on the opposite coast.

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 11:07:21 AM

MisterP61

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Amen to that everhope. I have what most would term a different LDR. Mine is forced. LadyPact and I are both Dominant, so no wrong ideas here

. I am Army, and am currently stationed in Korea (though home on leave right now woohoooooo), so we must maintain Our marriage via internet or phone. It is not optimal by a long shot, but it is also known that it will not be forever.

If you ask does it put any strain on the marriage?, the answer is yes occasionally (more not then so). If you ask does it change how I feel about Her?, absolutely not.

MisterP

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 2:00:08 PM

DesFIP

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We were about 150 miles apart, depending on traffic getting on or off Long Island that is a 3-5 hour drive. We aimed to see each other every three weeks, but every six was not uncommon, especially in winter when it appeared that every time we planned a meet snow was forecast.

For me, if you aren't close enough to ever be able to spontaneously get together, that's a LDR.

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 2:08:34 PM

moonvine

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For me anything over 250 miles is long distance.

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Post #: 12

RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 2:15:20 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61

Amen to that everhope. I have what most would term a different LDR. Mine is forced. LadyPact and I are both Dominant, so no wrong ideas here . I am Army, and am currently stationed in Korea (though home on leave right now woohoooooo), so we must maintain Our marriage via internet or phone. It is not optimal by a long shot, but it is also known that it will not be forever.

If you ask does it put any strain on the marriage?, the answer is yes occasionally (more not then so). If you ask does it change how I feel about Her?, absolutely not.

MisterP

*waves

Pleasure to finally meet you. We have heard so much about you!

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 2:21:31 PM

Evility

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We live 200 miles apart - about a three hour drive. One average we spend every other weekend together and have done so for the past three years. I consider our relationship to be a LDR. I wish we had more time together and one day we will. Otherwise it has been a wonderful time.

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Post #: 14

RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 2:52:33 PM

Aileen1968

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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I used to consider myself lucky when I only had to drive an hour and a half to meet.
The twenty minutes I travel now is a dream and I can't get to what's waiting at the end fast enough or often enough. I no longer have to waste energy on travel or scheduling or any of that bullshit. I'm so spoiled....

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 12/23/2008 2:57:32 PM >

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 3:12:05 PM

whis31

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when i met Master it was 80 miles which was an 1 hr 15min to 1 hr 30 min depending on were we were meeting, we did and still do talk almost every night by phone or computer, and i live less then 30 mins from him now.

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Post #: 16

RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 3:47:29 PM

Maya2001

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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I had a couple of relationships that were a 30 minute drive or 2 hours drive but I considered both local

one dom I was involved with lived approximately 860 miles away I considered it long distance.. he would fly and stay week he had planned a trip 4 months later but had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances

Current dom's home is 5,800 driving miles away but he is in the local area pretty much 4 days or more out of the week on business so to me he is local

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 4:02:48 PM

lateralist1

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Long distance for me is when I have to consider the time and cost of travelling.
However I would rather have a good long distance relationship rather than a mediocre relationship with someone local to me.

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Post #: 18

RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 4:15:53 PM

lronitulstahp

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i have been in a few LDR's. The longest distance being 4700 miles (me in Orlando, and Him in Germany). We tried to see each other every 6-8 weeks, and that relationship lasted 4 years.

The TDHO has an address in the same city as me....but works 1800 miles away. So initially He was local, and now will be temporarily LDR for a few months...we are trying to visit, and spend lots of time on the phone, and computer, when possible. Some days, it's hard, because you want to see the person that makes you get all fluttery, but it also strengthened our bond, i believe. Distance forces you to communicate in different ways, and to keep the dynamic strong in ways that i haven't known with Doms that i saw on a weekly basis. If you want it to work badly enough, it can.

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RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious - 12/23/2008 4:49:43 PM

marie2

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From: Jersey
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I prefer local (within an hour), but that doesn't mean I consider 2 hrs away to be an "LDR". I guess it's all relative, but to me, long distance would be anything from a 4-5 hour drive to...say...a few states away, or another country of course.

I'm ok with not seeing a partner as frequently as some others may need. I'd rather see the right person once or twice a month, than the wrong one every weekend, but I really don't want to have to drive a couple of hours each way, since I already do that at least twice a month to see family and friends. If I started that routine with a partner, I'd be driving for hours every single weekend, and I'm sure that would catch up with me. Unless of course, the dude was willing to come to me.

I do keep an open mind about it, but my preference is to meet someone nearby.

(in reply to califsue)

Post #: 20

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