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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Perhaps you prefer this then, taken from Wikipedia:

Forms of abuse Domestic violence can take the form of physical violence, including direct physical violence ranging from unwanted physical contact to rape and murder. Indirect physical violence may include destruction of objects, striking or throwing objects near the victim, or harm to pets. In addition to physical violence, spousal abuse often includes mental or emotional abuse, including verbal threats of physical violence to the victim, the self, or others including children, ranging from explicit, detailed and impending to implicit and vague as to both content and time frame, and verbal violence, including threats, insults, put-downs, and attacks. Nonverbal threats may include gestures, facial expressions, and body postures. Psychological abuse may also involve economic and/or social control, such as controlling the victim's money and other economic resources, preventing the victim from seeing friends and relatives, actively sabotaging the victim's social relationships, and isolating the victim from social contacts.

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

Some of you would be glad I can't access many years of research I have into domestic abuse or abusive patterns or they would be here... pages and pages and pages.  It is a well documented fact that one thing leads to another and it isn't far fetched to believe that someone who slams things on the table over what they consider a poor excuse for a meal and yells, will one day grab, strike or push.  Call a shelter, google.. I don't care... but these are facts of abuse and how it moves from easily offended/angered and from yelling to intimidating through their anger which is abuse and then one day... if all this isn't stopped and is accepted by the partner... it could escalate and most often does.  With some pretty high percentage rates of said escalation.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ok, so if there's no problem, why is the OP heading to anger management class?

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

Lordandmaster... I added three links to my post.  There are thousands of web sites out there...  Whether I can phrase it in a way that is acceptable or not... I really cannot care after a week of plumbing issues and Christmas... so... we may all just have to agree to disagree unless you wish to dispute what we claim and prove your stand.  I know mine.

I do hope this is all in good healthy debate...

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ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

As a woman who has survived 2 abusive relationships, I can say that the violence did start out with inanimate objects (full-length mirror in the bathroom, various knick-knacks, stuffed animals, etc).  It moved from those to punching holes in the wall, in one guys case.  Then I became the punching bag.  Guess they enjoyed the sounds of flesh meeting flesh accompanied by screams and crying more than the sounds of crashes, breaking glass, etc.

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

The first link does indeed talk about dystroying property as a sign of abuse and escalation... you can read it again...I can't read it for you.  Plus there are two other links.  I have provided proof.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Destroying WHOSE property?  If someone destroys YOUR property, yes, it's abusive--and also criminal.  If he destroys HIS OWN property, it doesn't amount to much more than "behavior I'd rather not witness."

Anyway, look, I don't consider your websites "proof," and I don't think you're committed to trying to convince me (from your tone, I infer that you think I'm just wrong and annoying), so let's drop this.  But I think it's very dangerous to be mistaken when identifying patterns of behavior as characteristic of abusers because you're very likely to get false positives AND false negatives.  (Those mean: You're bound to suspect someone wrongly of being an abuser if he displays the pattern in question, AND you're bound to miss someone who really is an abuser if he doesn't display the pattern in question.)