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RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 11:23:30 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I just don't get why people have to ask the question.

the.dark.


Maybe it's an existential thing.  Why ask why, ya know? 

My guess is that they are coming to terms with themselves and want to know how other people are doing it - conducting themselves. 

Thanks for the holiday wishes, hon.  I'm finally up from what I was calling my "death bed" (was dreadfully sick) and venturing off to lunch with a friend now.  I hope you & Darcy are having a great holiday!


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 12:13:39 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm myself, wherever I am.  I'm don't dress provacatively, and I don't talk about scene related stuff in front of those who don't know, or need to know.  I am a leader, not a tyrant, so I doubt that anyone would peg me for the most sadistic bitch in the room. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 12:38:55 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I ask why coz I wanna know!  And girlie - you have to get healthier next year and cease all this illness and accidents!  Have fun!
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 2:31:27 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		None. I am who I am, I do not assume a role. My property is mine, no matter where we are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

When you are with vanilla friends/family/work, which element of your D/s life/personality gets hidden the most?  Or does it?


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 2:34:23 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		I am as much vanilla as I am bdsm (well..I am human mostly..lol)
I don't talk about computers with peopel that don't liek computers. I don't talk about BDSM when I am with people that are not interested in BDSM.
Otherwise. I am just me....with lifestylers..and vanilla's/friends....at work..or in private.
I don't change...else I would be acting..

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 2:35:55 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't hide anything from friends and family. If you're someone I consider a friend they you're OK with me being who I am and being out about who I am or you wouldn't be called a friend., and if  you're my Family well the only people I consider Family are my parents, and they know too. They've known for years I was kinky, and they have absolutely no problem, with being kinky or with my partner who lives with us, and has since February.

At work Daddy is discreet, But then people at work don't need to know his sexual proclivities any more than they need to know anything else super personal about him.

His Family also knows he's kinky, and They know he's my Daddy too, and they're not wild about me or our relationship due to some friction early on, They don't bring it up and he doesn't either. And it's a big flaming who cares, to us, if they don't approve.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

When you are with vanilla friends/family/work, which element of your D/s life/personality gets hidden the most?  Or does it?

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 3:08:01 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I don't have a "vanilla" personality and I don't have a BDSM one; I'm just me all the time.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 3:10:10 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I don't talk about computers with peopel that don't liek computers. I don't talk about BDSM when I am with people that are not interested in BDSM.
i like that...simple, and to the point.

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 3:46:42 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

When you are with vanilla friends/family/work, which element of your D/s life/personality gets hidden the most?  Or does it?


None of it, my friends know me, and accept me for who I am. Why change a personality for anything you do, to hide oneself, is akin to be dishonest with oneself. Besides, to hide a part of you, takes care not to let that hidden part slip, and I just cannot be bothered to be ever vigilant against something slipping out in the wrong scenario. People, work leisure or play, take me as they find me, I refuse to be anyone but myself in any scenario.


_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 3:56:43 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I agree with others in that behaviors, appearances and conversations are carried out in a manner that is appropriate for the setting.

I do however have a new "issue" I have to dance around a bit with family and "vanilla" folk.  That being my new collar. 

For Christmas, He bestowed upon me a new eternity collar from Vad Farkas (ringofsteel.net).  It is beautiful, but obviously not exactly the normal diamond necklace, etc that many guys give their girls as a gift.... and obviously not your standard jewelry worn by women.

It's not that I have to adopt another personality or behavior because of it, but rather that I have to explain it in a careful way to those who aren't "in the know" when they ask about it.  I do it in the same way I would if it were a diamond engagement ring - with love and enthusiasm, explaining that it is a symbol of our committment to each other.  Family members aren't going to say anything that might upset me, so they just give that "look", smile and say something about it being pretty, etc...

By the way, my parents thought it was great!  LOL!

It does get stared at a good bit while I'm at Walmart or just out-n-about.  I figure some people probably think it's one of those doodads that convicted felons have to wear so they don't wander off!  Heh!

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 7:33:57 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It's the actual extent of my involvement that my non kink friends are unaware of. Most do know I am involved in BDSM yet they do not realize how much. My thoughts are if they want to know then they have to ask out of honest curiosity. 

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 7:46:59 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		My mind hasn't been able to wrap itself around the concepts of being submissive or being vanilla. I don't act out either of them. I don't act out baking, or working, or anything else that is part of who i am. Personally find it to limiting to my spirit and makes me sneeze.

oceanwynds

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/27/2008 8:30:28 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Being already dual in bdsm personalities ... I've no wish to become a triple! I am who I am ... when i'm out with just Master then primarily it's violet who is observable in my interactions with Him, though that does depend on what's going on. If He wants me to organise a lot, then Jay is the organiser and we appear as equals to an outsider. It's also more usually Jay who actually deals with other people, as I've no wish to act submissively to anyone other than to Master. If I am out with My sub, then I am more overtly Dominant, but always appropriate to the situation and the people around.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/28/2008 12:05:19 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		No,all my friends and family no I am a submissive so I hide it from no one

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/28/2008 11:00:37 AM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		I'm pretty much the same.  The "lifestyle trappings" of course aren't flaunted.  I don't go around calling Myself Mistress ____.  But the core traits that make Me a lifestyle Dominant are the same core traits that are exhibited everyday in everything that I do.  Sometimes I do the lurking thing in real life.  I don't consider that pretending.  Sometimes there is a person that I think has the potential to develop some leadership skills.  I'll intentionally step back or decline leadership and suggest that person. 

< Message edited by NefertariReborn -- 12/28/2008 11:01:47 AM >

_____________________________

“Security is mostly a superstition…Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all.” -Helen Keller

“How will you become a clear mirror if you resent being polished

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/28/2008 11:07:14 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		none, unless of course, you're talking about the element of my personality that is only seen behind closed doors and with the one i'm intimate with at the time, such as a good beat and fuck session

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/28/2008 11:44:04 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		The d/s is a part of my everyday life. I am always submissive to Master and I obey in whatever way pleases him. It's not obvious..doesn't have to be. He leads, I follow. It simply means He's in control of our lives together.


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/28/2008 11:44:52 AM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I agree with this statement......i am who i am...no matter if i'm working or with vanilla friends.  I don't necessarily hide my interest in BDSM, but i also don't flaunt it either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealSub58

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

When you are with vanilla friends/family/work, which element of your D/s life/personality gets hidden the most?  Or does it?



My personality is who I am; with Sir, with family or with friends or with co-workers.
Elements of my sexuality may come out in a casual conversation ~ ie: I believe I have said something like ~ "a little discipline spank might help with that habit."  


_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/28/2008 4:05:03 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		What you see is what you get. BDSM, Victorian Lifestyle, pagan are all parts oi the one. Anyone who meets me soon know that we livea Victorian Lifestyle and believe in good manners etc. It is open knowledge throughout the area where I live that I am an ordained Pagan Priest. If theyget to know me well they find out that we are kinksters and into BDSM. Nothing is hidden (except for details of my professional cases and past involvement details in SF Opps). I'm just too long in the tooth these days to even want to go back to hiding parts of my life and support this with lies as I used to when under cover in foreign countries.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Dual Personalities - 12/28/2008 6:23:15 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The words that would freak people out are not used. The relationship remains the same. We were visiting his family today and he looked up and said "we need to leave, long drive ahead". My response was "wow, look at the time. Thank you so much for having me" as I stood up.

What I didn't say was "Yes Master/Sir/Overlord of the Universe". I didn't say "this girl is always at your command". I just did what he wanted. What he didn't say was "Get moving bitch/whore/slut".

They can make their own decision about our relationship. They just don't hear the words that would upset them needlessly.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 40
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