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Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 2:02:44 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		We read so much about topping from the bottom, submissives etc who "manipulate" to get what they want---directing, demanding, maneuvering--but we never hear about bottoming from the top--is there such a thing--is that what Dominance is defined as--is that where Dom/mes get to solve their fetish needs? Is it more prevalent in switches? Is is Doms who aren't Doms/mes?

Wasn't sure where to post this as it extends across everyone's interests--well inquiring minds want to know--

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 2:22:58 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

but we never hear about bottoming from the top


Sometimes I get into the mood where I want to really please my slave. I want to pamper them and shower them with affection. I want them to get whatever their heart desires.

Is that bottoming? I don't think so...I still am doing exactly what I want.

We all manipulate...some are just a bit more obvious in their manipulations.

Taggard

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My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 2:37:24 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		As one who appreciates how water seeks out it's own level and applies it to life situations, I'd suggest it doesn't come up because it's not an issue.

And like Taggard said, I like pampering my girl, too! Throw in manners such as when we go out, I open her door; I get her chair; I go to the bar; I get the cheque etc. Am I bottoming to her? I don't think sooooo....

A dynamic is where we work or feed off each other.... If I'm pampering her, it's because she's earned it through pleasing me, even when she's not literally doing anything at all.

Focus.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 2:40:56 PM   
DungeonSpain


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/27/2005
From: Benidorm, Spain
Status: offline 		In professional work, we find that we are there to respond to the client's needs and interests. Consequently, if you are in the D/s commercial side for real, it is a form of 'bottoming' from the 'top'.

The customer is always right ... if we did not follow that sentiment, then our clients would not return to us.

As Dom/mes we are not in the dungeon for our benefit, but for the submissive's benefit.

Regards from sunny Spain

Jane and Stewart
BDSM Dungeon in Spain
www.bondagedominationspain.com

< Message edited by DungeonSpain -- 1/1/2006 2:41:59 PM >

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 3:35:56 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Like Taggard and Focus I enjoy pampering my Sub at times. I do try to always be a gentelman when we are in public. I too open doors and hold chairs. I take off my hat indoors like I was taught as a child and I make sure she gets special treatment at times. I also agree that I don't consider this 'bottoming'. I am the one in control and she doesn't ask for or control anything more at these times than any other. I do it because I WANT to do it.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 4:18:06 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

We read so much about topping from the bottom, submissives etc who "manipulate" to get what they want---directing, demanding, maneuvering--but we never hear about bottoming from the top--is there such a thing--is that what Dominance is defined as--is that where Dom/mes get to solve their fetish needs? Is it more prevalent in switches? Is is Doms who aren't Doms/mes?

Wasn't sure where to post this as it extends across everyone's interests--well inquiring minds want to know--



First of all you making the assumption that "topping from the bottom" is manipulation... not all "topping from the bottom" situations are in this manner. For example.... back in october I had my two girls put suction cups on my back.... I controlled what I wanted and how I wanted and no i did go into subspace lol.. Once they started... I let them do what they wanted... and if it went alittle off of what was acceptable..well I just reeled them in alittle. I have also laid back and enjoy a very intense oral experience from them as they used vibrators and a few other little tricks for sensations. All situations was very much me Topping from the bottom... so is it manipulation... no!... It time people get the off the the "Topping from the Bottom" is bad kick and realize it can and is much more than that.

now for "Bottoming from the Top" well just consider the above examples... my girls was very much bottoming from the Top.

These situations are just that situations in a moment of time. They are not and should not be considered a reflections of the control dynamics in the relationship. At the end of the day... who has the authority in the relationship.. The power of decision and choice. Not just for the moment... but for all moments as a whole! There is no question in my girls mind who is in control of this relationship.... But that doesn't mean I will not enjoy alittle pampering to myself or doesn't mean I wll not pamper my girls from time to time. The point is thou.... I decide when it happens or if it happens not my girls.



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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 5:29:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		And there are service tops, when you top someone in order to give them something specifically or to be of use to them.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 11:35:22 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I have a different twist on Bottoming from the Top that I first heard of in a Midori class.

Bottoming from the Top can be two other things as well a head trip to play on the bottom, 1. hand them the flogger stand at the cross and say "you will hit me this hard right here for this long and you better do a really good job of it too."
2. A Masocist may be Dominant, sadism and masocism are not always coupled directly with dominance and submission, some people are cross wired.

Just something to consider

In Leather

Archer

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/1/2006 11:45:07 PM   
peppermint379


Posts: 111
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline 		I was fortunate to attend that class by Midori. It was a real eye opener to talk about all the varied and different ways we can interact. Before that class i'd thought of "topping from the bottom" as being a bad thing. Now i know differently.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 2:37:57 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		This is a general reply:

Ther is a lot of talk of topping from the bottom, bottoming from the top etc etc.

This is why I define my relationships in terms of power. When it comes to the government I can rebel all I want - but I had better pay my taxes unless I am prepared to pay the consequences, when it comes to my work relationships - I had better make sure that I do what my boss(es) tell me - even if I disagree, even if I attempted to offer a suggestion (I'm not a slave after all I'm an employee per described situation - I have few but some rights) (I won't get into inter personal work relationship dynamics), when it comes to personal relationships then the power is all mine - the power to accept someone as an equal or not, a friend or not, the power to say farewell, the power to say yes or no.

Personally I don't like the terms 'top' 'bottom' 'submissive' 'master'

When it comes to my BDSM relationships, as I see it:

When it comes to submissives (in terms of what I hope is generally accepted within the BDSM community;regardless of whether they define themselves as top or bottom), they have the power to control the situation. They have the power to say no, stop, not so hard, etc. The power to invoke a contract. Power. Tastes good doesn't it? ;-)

When it comes to slaves they do not have the power. They can't say no, stop, not so hard, etc.

Who has the power? That's the 'top' in the situation at hand. As I see it.

'service tops' yep they are out there doing a good service to the 'dom bottoms'

I don't have a problem with that; define yourself as what you will - I just think it is easier to understand through a perspective of 'power'.

<puts on the asbestos suit>

D (owner of j).



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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 3:56:49 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
For me I'd say bottoming from the top is when the sub constantly decides how they will play, where they go, or what they should do constantly. I've seen many times a sub getting her nose out of joint over a want and the Top giving in to the sub's desires o keep the sub content.

I don't feel pleasuring your sub or doing things you know she enjoys is bottoming from the top. I think showing your more sensative and affectionate side is actually the sign of a good Dom to me.

Bottoming means to me that the other person has control of your overall choices and is making decisions based on following their own will and not yours.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 8:32:54 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64
Bottoming means to me that the other person has control of your overall choices and is making decisions based on following their own will and not yours.


Don't you mean suzanne, "Bottoming means FOR me" ... ?

Not everyone is a slave, that is willing too give up their choices or rights to make decisions for themselves. That doesn't make them any less a submissive or a bottom, then the person that does give up those choices.

There reallly isn't a ranking system.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 9:08:02 AM   
HoosierScorpio


Posts: 164
Status: offline 		I know I may get allot of subs and slave happy with this but you pet and groom your dogs right. Are you subbing to them or being a good owner and taking care of your pets. It seems allot do not realize being a Master means you take care of you pet. You clean and take care of your toys right why so they can last longer and in good shape the next time use them. I enjoy having playing with one girl I would have her kneel before me and I would brush her hair and give her a good massage. I enjoy her long beautiful hair and also touching her body was the fun part. Remember good maintenance is not subbing it is responsible ownership in my viewpoint. May be there should be a book on the maintain and up keep of being sub/slave owner. Remember when the sub/slave accept your collar she accept the responsibility being your pet while it goes both ways you gave it to them saying you will protect and take care of them. This is how I feel it is part of being a Master

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 10:08:25 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Sometimes I get into the mood where I want to really please my slave. I want to pamper them and shower them with affection. I want them to get whatever their heart desires.



NO...that's not bottoming.
That's sprinkles & confetti!
It's good, very good. Sub's need to be pleased too.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 10:24:26 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		Wasn't sure where to post this as it extends across everyone's interests--well inquiring minds want to know--
=============

well maybe...MOST everyone.

some of us are exceptions..


take care

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 10:35:41 AM   
Raphael


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		I think 'topping from the bottom' is usually better described as 'dominating from the bottom' but it's become a cliché I suppose.

I'm not sure how one could 'bottom from the top' but you can certainly 'serve from the top.' People who do this regularly may become known as 'service tops.' I suspect everyone that's 'played' much has done this. If your goal in topping is to serve the needs of the bottom, then the boot fits...

It's not a bad thing, necessarily. There are plenty of dominant bottoms out there that appreciate it.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 10:58:09 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		When I am Topping, I usually always have my bottom showing!
It's just not the one getting spanked!

Peace, Kevin

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 2:06:40 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

When I am Topping, I usually always have my bottom showing!
It's just not the one getting spanked!

Peace, Kevin


Sometimes after he tops my ass he kisses my bottom.
What does that make us?

I see your Peace and raise you a Goodwill Toward Mankind...
heather

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And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 2:17:58 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		They mentioned bottoming from the top on The Sopranos back when Tony's sister Janice was seeing Ralphie Cifaretto. There was a scene where she was fucking him in the ass with a dildo and calling him a little bitch, then later on Tony asked about Ralphie and Janice said he bottoms from the top because he was in charge of that little scene.

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RE: Bottoming from the Top - 1/2/2006 2:40:43 PM   
mitsu


Posts: 67
Joined: 9/7/2005
From: New York
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer
2. A Masocist may be Dominant, sadism and masocism are not always coupled directly with dominance and submission, some people are cross wired.


I agree with you that this is a form of "bottoming from the top," but I would be careful to call it "cross wiring." This might give the impression that submission and masochism are somehow neurologically connected; as far as I know, there's no biological norm here other than perhaps cultural expectations of such a norm - created by classic literary (not neuropsychological) archetypes.

(in reply to Archer)
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