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Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 1:53:55 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline 		i was in hospital on Christmas Eve. Shoulder surgery: two severely torn ligaments, shredded bicep and a bone spir which meant ball socket needed reshaping. Arm in a sling and immobilized for at least six weeks. Feeling absolute rock bottom because:
1. bad pain has taken away my enjoyment/capacity for good pain
2. cannot serve: new 24/7 and Master is looking after me.....a kind of role reversal
3. withdrawing from anaesthesia and previous amounts of pain killer
4. simply cannot even dress without help
5. household at its most complex with my teenager son's runaway girl moving in and Christmas
My question: for s types: have circumstances ever conspired like this for you so that you have been unable to serve or for the D types: felt unable to 'control' for want of a better word?
PS an infinity of thanks to friends who have sent affection and support. Thank you.
Indi



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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 2:09:09 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Yup, Ive had several major surgeries over the years and have had to allow others to take care of me. It wasn't an easy thing to get used to. One of my family members said something though that really woke me up. They said that I have spent my whole life taking care of everyone else...making sure all their needs are met. They know I get a lot of personal satisfaction and joy from doing so. So how, in my time of need, could I be so selfish as to wish to rob those that love me of that same joy and personal satisfaction that they would get from taking care of me?

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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 2:11:31 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		You serve by having a grateful heart, by not complaining and making your Master feel bad about helping you. Think of it as a challenge. How can you show your appreciation and demonstrate how much your Master's help means to you?

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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 2:12:19 PM   
wulfgarw


Posts: 752
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		I once broke my right humerous some years ago and wasn't able to do much of anything for a couple months.  So I think I kinda understand where you're coming from, and shall send all my positive energies your way. 

BTW...you can use it as an excuse for Him/Her to bathe you, shave you and eat you out, in expectation for return service at a later date...


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 2:28:37 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

shave you and eat you out,


somehow that didn't sound like fun.....lol

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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 3:08:48 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence

You serve by having a grateful heart, by not complaining and making your Master feel bad about helping you. Think of it as a challenge. How can you show your appreciation and demonstrate how much your Master's help means to you?

Thank you. i am saying how grateful i am. To Him and to the young ones in the house also for whom this is simply a new experience.
It's a huge challenge and one for which i was not prepared.



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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 3:14:31 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Yup, Ive had several major surgeries over the years and have had to allow others to take care of me. It wasn't an easy thing to get used to. One of my family members said something though that really woke me up. They said that I have spent my whole life taking care of everyone else...making sure all their needs are met. They know I get a lot of personal satisfaction and joy from doing so. So how, in my time of need, could I be so selfish as to wish to rob those that love me of that same joy and personal satisfaction that they would get from taking care of me?

Thank you for this. In a sense the personal satisfaction i get from serving others is a type of power. It is one of the bases of power exchange. You have helped me to see that it gives Him a chance to shape the way things are done and the way He wants things done in the house and also to establish authority with the young ones.


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 3:16:29 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

I once broke my right humerous some years ago and wasn't able to do much of anything for a couple months.  So I think I kinda understand where you're coming from, and shall send all my positive energies your way. 

BTW...you can use it as an excuse for Him/Her to bathe you, shave you and eat you out, in expectation for return service at a later date...


Return service? It's not a strategy that has crossed my mind. In such a weak state at the moment......


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 3:21:29 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs Prinny*

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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 3:24:08 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Best wishes on good health and a speedy recovery. As a D type my main concern would be my sub's health and recovery. The role reversal would not effect me one bit, him getting better would be my priority. Because I look at it this way, if he is not well and healthy he cannot serve me. If he cannot serve me then he feels unfulfilled. Yes it will seem strange for awhile, but only a little while and then it will pass.

Good luck,
~Lashra


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 4:18:05 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		I broke a toe almost three years ago and could barely hobble.  Sir looked after me for the few days it took for me to get back on my feet - and it really did feel wrong to me   Sir practically had to order me to rest and keep my foot up.  For as He said, the sooner you get yourself better, the sooner you'll be able to serve again  

When I finally did relax about it, I found it was quite nice to be waited on for a change.  But I was glad when I could move about again and do my normal chores!

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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 4:22:56 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Less than a month into our relationship and Fox caught the flu so bad that he could not stay on campus. We decided that since I lived significantly closer than his family did, we would stay here with me and I would take care of him for the 8 days he was out of it. This included feeding him, helping him get dressed, helping him bathe, and essentially waiting on him. He couldnt even walk from room to room without getting dizzy, so serving was out of the question. And a few weeks into our relationship none the less!
We survived, and he has gotten teased about his walk on the dominant side but thats about it.

Best wishes for your recovery... surgery is never fun.

DV


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 4:47:40 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		indigo, it may not seem like it, but you are serving by taking care of yourself and letting others take care of you, and returning to full health as soon and as well as you can.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 5:17:44 PM   
Yours50


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/13/2008
Status: offline 		New to posting, but yours made me remember how it felt to be in your circumstances.  I had major abdominal surgery and developed an infection that let to me being off of work for 10 weeks and unable to do my own dressings, walk more than a few feet at a time, etc.  No cooking, bathing myself, shaving, sleeping on my side, etc.    It was extremely hard to let my M take care of me as well as my family and friends.   I sympathize with you, but know you will return to service.   I wish you a speedy recovery; and take this time to sleep, eat healthily, and be cared for/loved!

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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 5:35:31 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Ouchie hon!  *hug*  I hope you'll be feeling better real soon.
On the other side of the coin though, as a dom, I LOVE looking after my pet when he's down.  I mean, I don't like that he's sick sometimes, or whatever, but, at least I can be there to care for him, and that makes me feel good.  Drives him a bit nuts too though.  I think it's also partially because I tend to dote on the poor boy when he's under the weather. ;)


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 5:42:47 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Best wishes on good health and a speedy recovery. As a D type my main concern would be my sub's health and recovery. The role reversal would not effect me one bit, him getting better would be my priority. Because I look at it this way, if he is not well and healthy he cannot serve me. If he cannot serve me then he feels unfulfilled. Yes it will seem strange for awhile, but only a little while and then it will pass.

Good luck,
~Lashra


i'm trying to understand this. So thank you for contributing from the D perspective.




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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 5:44:16 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*hugs Prinny*

one armed hug back xx


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 5:50:05 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

Less than a month into our relationship and Fox caught the flu so bad that he could not stay on campus. We decided that since I lived significantly closer than his family did, we would stay here with me and I would take care of him for the 8 days he was out of it. This included feeding him, helping him get dressed, helping him bathe, and essentially waiting on him. He couldnt even walk from room to room without getting dizzy, so serving was out of the question. And a few weeks into our relationship none the less!
We survived, and he has gotten teased about his walk on the dominant side but thats about it.

Best wishes for your recovery... surgery is never fun.

DV


i'm getting teased about being in bondage (bulky national health service blue velcro arm sling) but finding it hard to find a sense of humour.....anyone into medical play who wants to add it to their kit is welcome to it in two months time......


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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 5:52:37 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Yours50

New to posting, but yours made me remember how it felt to be in your circumstances.  I had major abdominal surgery and developed an infection that let to me being off of work for 10 weeks and unable to do my own dressings, walk more than a few feet at a time, etc.  No cooking, bathing myself, shaving, sleeping on my side, etc.    It was extremely hard to let my M take care of me as well as my family and friends.   I sympathize with you, but know you will return to service.   I wish you a speedy recovery; and take this time to sleep, eat healthily, and be cared for/loved!

thank you and welcome to the boards


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Formerly Prinsexx
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RE: Unable to serve: surgery - 12/27/2008 6:08:42 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		A week after passing a kidney stone the size of a pith ball through the width of a capillary. Pain killers caused me to become 'dopey'.

Three weeks after surgery to my left thumb, left hand bound so that I only had the use of my right hand. With left I can hold items, but have little strength in my thumb for gripping and can not pick up a damn thing. Seven to fourteen months before my thumb restores itself to normal since the bone or the thumbnail cuticle were not damaged.

Broke my right hand about six years back. Actually it was a compression fracture which rendered it useless, no strength while it was mending, then fell on it while it was mending which extended the healing time another three months.

Patience and understanding always helps to speed the healing process. Even when I was not supposed to do anything, I still made the effort. The result was me getting into trouble and told that I should be healing. Most of the time I had to fend for my self, but it was mistress that did care for me and made sure I did as the doctor directed.

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