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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/22/2009 5:02:43 PM

windchymes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AmbrosialWench

The slave of a Gorean man is only able to walk away if she isn't being adequately mastered. If she is, then it doesn't matter so much whether he is a total ass or an utter saint, a paragon of virtue or a cad. She's owned, she's his, and truly isn't capable of mustering the power to walk.

Gor is a planet, right?

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/22/2009 5:10:15 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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fr
not a slave and don't know Gor

i can walk away any time i choose if my relationship with Daddy goes sour ...it won't be the first time that i've walked away either

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 2/22/2009 5:12:32 PM >

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/22/2009 6:04:10 PM

littlesarbonn

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If the relationship is not working for you, you ALWAYS have the right to walk away. I've walked away a few times even though we were under contract. She didn't fulfill her end of the contract, and when I tried to talk about it, she wasn't interested, so that left only one recourse.

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Post #: 63

RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/22/2009 7:20:54 PM

SeekingHawk

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If I'm not happy with how a my Master is treating me, if he's abusive and cruel and I've not signed up for this.. then........ I would have the right to walk away from him. Just as he has the right to walk away from me, if he so desires. I can't imagine a world without my Master, but if it meant the difference between my safety or not.. I would walk.
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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 3:52:11 AM

InTonguesslave

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its odd for me to realise that probably for the first time in my life im in a relationship where the man is looking at the long term being untill we're old and gray. i find that a hard concept to grasp at the moment, because of what everyone has said here, that things happen, people change and what might start out as wonderful can turn sour.

but i find it incredibly reassuring to step into this relationship with Sir knowing that he is looking at this being 'forever'. only 'extreme circumstances' apparently or if i screw someone else would he consider releasing me. it gives me a safe feeling and a feeling that i am valued and treasured. it also give me reassurance when i screw up and i do, frequentlly

a part of me still keeps the knowledge inside that there are no guarantees in life and people can and do change - but i realise that when he is making so much effort to understand me and know me well, it would be somewhat pointless if he had no belief in 'forever'.

so in a way saying that they will never release you might be along the same lines of saying 'i do' at the alter - the premis is there for 'forever' and it gives everyone the feeling of stability and security from the off.

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 6:10:38 AM

starshineowned

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quote:

The slave of a Gorean man is only able to walk away if she isn't being adequately mastered. If she is, then it doesn't matter so much whether he is a total ass or an utter saint, a paragon of virtue or a cad. She's owned, she's his, and truly isn't capable of mustering the power to walk."

The slave of any Owner that has been Mastered should find it difficult to walk away. Nobody deciding this route knows what it truely means to be a slave or what must occur in order to achieve that..nor Master another to achieve that Mastery. Their is and has to be a commitment there on either end that transcends most known ideals of what happiness is currently gauged by. To use this standard method of determination to something that is unknown will probably result in failure.

Most are not willing to take this commitment to discover what is needed to be a slave or Master another. It is a ongoing and never ending and always changing dichotomy that requires much responsibility that ..again most will not care to endeavor. There is no end game to it but many will find they really didn't bargain for such a commitment in the bid to become or achieve this path or like alot just are looking for fun with no real intent on anything else to begin with. Learning and understanding the new ideals of what promotes happiness from within should not be a static ideal or a standard description.

quote:

The slave of any Owner that has been Mastered should find it difficult to walk away.

As I understand and interpret this..It is not and can never be a end acheivement.

starshine

< Message edited by starshineowned -- 2/23/2009 6:14:49 AM >

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 8:13:31 AM

feydeplume

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Edited to add: And this would be why I quit programming....my logic is sometimes wonky.

nah, your logic, like mos of us programmers, is sometimes nyquiled, hung-over, or asked to make a language do the impossible. Eventually you go mad or get out while only mildly delusional. Logic works, if-then-when statements sometimes require therapy. BIIIIIG difference.

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Post #: 67

RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 8:43:31 AM

feydeplume

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quote:

This is for all slaves(Gorean or Non-Gorean). If you were unhappy for an extended amount of time, would you stop being a slave and leave your master? Many slaves state they are there to make their Master happy and others telling slaves to stop whining and be the slave they signed up for.

Why is slave X unhappy? Is the Master also unhappy? is that why the slave is unhappy? What kind of unhappiness? is it something that can be fixed in the relationship or is it something external to the relationship that is draining the life and spirit from the Master and/or slave (slow lingering death of a parent for example who requires tons of care and money and time and is being an emotional black hole in their final years, months and days)? How about poverty, scarcity of meaningful work, or too many kids to care for properly with time and engery left over to be other than just Mommy or Daddy?

I know some M/s or d/s relationships break from internal strain, like abuse or illness, but far more, just like nilla ones break from external pressures.

"...would you stop being a slave..." THAT is the serious question. Exiting a relationship that is busted is one thing, a serious and big thing, but a totally different question that "would you stop being a slave". When you divorce you become and ex-spouse, so do you become and ex-slave? and in this social construct, you are still a spouse, just not TO anyone (ok this terminology is dated but go with me here, ok?) so being and ex-slave you are still a slave, just not TO anyone.

Would I stop being a woman if i got a divorce? would i stop being short or mouthy or goth because my M and I for some reason split? Would i stop being me if he was no longer in my life? Duh, no. I know a lot of people say that you are only a Master or slave IF there is the other part of the slash there too. I don't buy it and i have a feeling that the other slaves on this board feel the same. When we started looking for a relationship, we were looking for a Master. If a Master can't exist without a slave and vice versa then all of us (not naming names) were unicorn hunting.

But happily for us, the unicorn was also looking for us.

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 9:22:53 AM

daddysprop247

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this relationship is not founded on my personal happiness/joy/pleasure. so it would never even OCCUR to me to think about leaving simply because i was very, very unhappy. being a person who has struggled with severe depression (MDD) for most of my life, and with a history of (nonconsensual) abuse and the war wounds to match, there have been many times since i've been owned where i have been very unhappy. many hard times, bad times, etc. but i belong to another person...i am property. property need not be happy in order to be property.

aside from this, i would never attempt to take it upon myself to leave my Master. i would only ever beg him for release, and then wait and see what he decided. He has already told me point blank that he will never let me go, not for any reason. His need for me is that great. and that actually makes me feel quite secure, knowing that i have no choice or power in these matters.

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 2:44:46 PM

myonlysorrow

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AmbrosialWench

Abused women cannot muster the power to walk .

I have to completely disagree with him. I was abused by a Dom and I found the power and strength to walk away. To say that abused women cannot muster the power to walk, is to insult the power of women.

If you are not happy speak to your Master. If things can not be resolved or He is unwilling/unable then He is not keeping His promise as a Master.

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 6:38:16 PM

pinkwind

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Sorry, it's late and i am just going to answer this from the hip, without reference to others input.

i don't care what kind of relationship a person is in, if they have entered it with an expectation of a certain amount of happiness and fellow feeling and it isn't there, will never be there, that person has the inalienable right to walk away and not look back.

No i would not give up being a slave, it's how i am wired, not something i threw on as a mantle, but having been through one relationship where i stayed despite my own misgivings because of the promises given and the expectations offered, none of which finally materialised, i know i have the right to be a happy human, and the strength to walk away from an unhappy place.

my whole being was given to another for a reason, part of that was a promise made between us, based on our past with a view to our future, and if that promise be broken on either side we both have the ability to call it a day and walk off into the sunset. To me slave, or Master for that matter, are not abjectly miserable states to be endured for the rest of ones natural life.

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/23/2009 10:01:26 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AmbrosialWench

This is for all slaves(Gorean or Non-Gorean). If you were unhappy for an extended amount of time, would you stop being a slave and leave your master? Many slaves state they are there to make their Master happy and others telling slaves to stop whining and be the slave they signed up for. One Master stated ". The slave of a Gorean man is only able to walk away if she isn't being adequately mastered. If she is, then it doesn't matter so much whether he is a total ass or an utter saint, a paragon of virtue or a cad. She's owned, she's his, and truly isn't capable of mustering the power to walk." This sounded to me like a battered woman. Abused women cannot muster the power to walk and I would pressume the M/s and gorean community would not see the man as being a Master.
I would love to hear from slaves and Masters, where the slave is not being fulfilled/happy, that cannot leave because slaves do not have the authority to make that choice and there Master refuses to set them free.

i skipped over the responses, as im late to the party, so to speak.

i am gorean trained, its my preference to have a gorean owner. but dont mistake a slave for a doormat. especially me. i lived within a gorean home, house slave to a man who admitted he could never love me. sometimes treated me decently, sometimes like just a hole to use, sometimes would ignore me for weeks, even months on end.

why did i stay? because i made a commitment to him, to help fullfill what i believed were our mutual goals. and, yes, i loved him. dont ask me why... i have no clue. sexually, he had me crawling. but, to him, i was just a friend with benefits. i thought it could be enough, loving him as i did. in the end, it wasnt.

as much as i didnt want to admit it, i had needs as well. i tried to ignore them, tried to hide the hurt and anger. in the end, i was angry at myself more than him. i begged often to be allowed to go. the only answer i would get was.. "No, Im not done with you yet." love cannot survive when its not fed. i eventually stopped loving him and realized it was time to move on, for both our sakes.

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RE: slaves ability to leave - 2/25/2009 2:26:08 PM

angelinamaddox

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If it was just a month or two, I would say, look at what has changed in the relationship to make you unhappy, and talk to your Dom about the changes and see what can be done so that the both of Y/you are fufilled once more. Every slave has the right to leave a relationship if they are no longer being fufilled. If a slave isn't being fufilled, they cannot serve their Dom the way they are ment to anyways. So talk first, and if nothing changes, leave.

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