trealeon
Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
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Something very unusual happened that caused an abrupt end to my most recent relationship. I'm trying to figure out what might have gone wrong and so am looking for input. I know that this is all coming from my point of view but I will try to give all the information I can think of.
We've only been dating about 6 months. She's about 10 years younger than me, (28/18) still in college, so we've been taking it slow. She's definitely a "daddy's girl" sub but about 2 months ago she came to me saying she wanted to be more of a "slave" (her words): for her this meant more rules, more control, more service, etc. She said she wanted this because she wanted to be completely and totally owned and controlled by me. We talked about this a lot and she really wanted to move towards 24/7, live with me, and everything.
I didn't want her to make that big a jump as far as living with me because I thought it was too soon but that we could start her training as a slave even if she wasn't living with me. I wanted to take things slowly anyway to make sure. I was concerned that she may have gotten enamored with the concept of being a slave from me talking about past D/s relationships and that she wanted to somehow "out-do" all of them by going even further than they did. Mostly because she kept saying things like "I want to be the best." She's very competitive and possessive in that regard.
She seemed happy though. She loved being controlled, even almost to the point of micro-managed (but not quite as I don't have the energy to do that). I think the hardest part for her was that she couldn't call me "daddy" anymore while she was being "trained' I took that away so she would have to earn it back and even though she did a fair bit of complaining, she was well on her to earning it back.
She expressed a desire to have a collar, something she could wear all the time, something very obviously a collar too. So since things were going so well, I decided that I would get her one for Christmas. We also planned a trip together so we could spend some quality one-on-one time together for an extended period of time. It was going to be a week in Pittsburgh which is near where she's from. She loved the idea of being able to spend a week together 24/7 and we were both really excited.
The plan was that she would go up to visit part of her family for Christmas then this past Saturday I was going to fly to Pittsburgh, she would drive there (a little less than an hour for her) and meet me there. Since she had a car there and knew the area she would pick me up from the airport and we'd spend the week together in Pittsburgh in an extended stay hotel. We made these plans about 2 months ago (if it's important, we made the plans before she expressed her desire to be more of a slave).
A week before she was supposed to go home for Christmas, she had exams and she was very stressed. She takes her school work very seriously, studies very hard, and so during exams she was almost overworking herself. Normally we talk, chat, or see, each other every day without fail but when she started exams, she broke this habit. I got really upset with her about this and it almost turned into an argument but before it did, I recognized that she was just stressed about her exams so I told her that, she thanked me for understanding and asked me to just bare with her until she could get past the exams. That was pretty much the end of it, we talked a couple of times during exam week before she went home. I thought things were okay.
But then she completely cut off communication. I was supposed to see her or talk to her just before she went home but she never answered my calls and she never seemed to be at her place and then of course she was gone. She never called or answered my calls when she was at home visiting her family. Most importantly though, she was supposed to call me the Friday after Christmas to confirm that she was picking me up from the airport on Saturday.This was just to make sure that nothing last minute had interfered with our plans. She didn't call, text, or answer my calls to her. It was like she dropped off the planet.
I decided not to fly to Pittsburgh on Saturday. I didn't want to end up basically stranded in someplace unfamiliar if she didn't show up. I guess I could have rented a car or gotten a taxi, but I wasn't planning the trip because I wanted to visit Pittsburgh, it was to spend time with her, an she didn't seem to be part of that plan anymore. I figured if I was wrong, she would call and I could always catch a later flight or one the next day. But she never called, still hasn't answered my calls or anything.
I keep replaying the past couple of weeks through my head. The only thing that happened was that "sort-of" argument we had when she was stressing over exams, but that didn't even really turn into an argument. We've had arguments before, that didn't even qualify. I don't understand what caused her to just cut off all communication and basically just end things with no explanation. I've never had something like this happen before.
I tried to put down everything I thought was relevant without going into a play by play detail of every aspect of our relationship. But as I read over it, I don't feel like I really gave that much information. Just a lot of bluster. All I can say is, she seemed happy. I asked her at one point within the past few weeks if this was still what she wanted and she gave me a completely unhesitant "yes!"
So if you anyone can think of something I haven't thought of or maybe even just ask a question that I didn't think to ask her or ask myself, that would be helpful. It's not about getting her back. Obviously that won't happen. It's more about, understanding. I guess that helps me gain closure.
< Message edited by trealeon -- 12/29/2008 12:00:30 AM >
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