RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (Full Version)

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colouredin -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 11:49:01 AM)

I second that Holly.



sweetlindsey84 -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 11:49:52 AM)

my point is that you would be embarassed and i bet you would want to have a clue what the persons reaction would be b4 you tell them you have a penis which can only be achieved through "DATING" that's all im saying.



colouredin -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 11:53:22 AM)

Look lindsey firstly what happens if you get the person all interested in you and you then realise that you dont think they would be the person to tell? What happens if they dont react the way that you hope? What happens if its never the time to tell them? What if you fall for the person and they drop you? Which is worse general embaressment or shattered feelings for a person?



sirsholly -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 11:54:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

my point is that you would be embarassed and i bet you would want to have a clue what the persons reaction would be b4 you tell them you have a penis which can only be achieved through "DATING" that's all im saying.
\
So...decieve them until YOU are comfortable? No...sorry



sweetlindsey84 -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 11:56:11 AM)

the thing is it's never gonna be either/or it's going to be shattered feelings or shattered feelings and embarassment.   and obviouslly if it's not the person to tell then you don't tell them duh



sirsholly -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 11:58:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

the thing is it's never gonna be either/or it's going to be shattered feelings or shattered feelings and embarassment.   and obviouslly if it's not the person to tell then you don't tell them duh

your concern lies with the feelings of the TG only. I think the rest of us are not seeing only her feelings, but the feelings of the potential partner as well.



colouredin -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 11:59:13 AM)

So you hurt the other person?

Sorry lindsey but this discussion seems pretty futile to me. I just cant think of any real justification for lying about this to someone you are dating. You obviously do not see the other side so I am going to leave it there.

Ed to add, snap to Holly.



E2Sweet -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:00:32 PM)

I'm sorry, but after 8 pages of discussion and some additional thinking about this away from the 'puter, I still see this whole issue as 'doing the right thing and being up-front' vs. 'luring someone into having feelings for you before you drop a huge bomb on them out-of-the-blue'... To me, one choice is in fact ethical, and one is not.





sweetlindsey84 -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:01:05 PM)

yes while disregarding her personal safety, over all well bieng and yes her feelings because a ts's feelings are less important than cisgendered feelings unless your a cisgender that just grew a penis then you are worth a million bucks



sirsholly -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:02:42 PM)

Colouredin had the right idea.[8|]



slaveboy291 -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:04:09 PM)

Is this a rhetorical question?  If you don't tell the person upfront your a t-girl you are decieving them no matter how you spin it.

Also, do you really want to get involved with a guy that it wouldn't be a good idea to tell to begin with?   Kinda dangerous don't ya think?



Lynnxz -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:04:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

yes while disregarding her personal safety, over all well bieng and yes her feelings because a ts's feelings are less important than cisgendered feelings unless your a cisgender that just grew a penis then you are worth a million bucks


>.<

.... what?



thishereboi -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:04:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

the thing is it's never gonna be either/or it's going to be shattered feelings or shattered feelings and embarassment.   and obviouslly if it's not the person to tell then you don't tell them duh


How do you determine if it's the right person to tell?

How long do you let them get involved in the relationship before you tell them?

If I have spent time getting to know a women and becoming emotionally attached to her, I am going to be pissed as hell when I find out our relationship is based on a lie. I would never be able to trust her again so what good can come out of it?



sweetlindsey84 -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:09:50 PM)

I think im just gonna call it a day and arguing with bigots is done for the day... so anyone NOT a bigot that reads this can KNOW that I tried to fight evil and opression but alas minds were not changed and bigotry once again prevailed... it's like prop 8 all over agian ( damn mormons)  I'll just go back to my seat with the proud people of love and let you continue to hate.and that's why she would dump you in the end boi to bad for you cuz she seems quite the looker :p  to the op please take my advice cuz these people will get you killed and lead you to unhappiness and i garuntee you they would care less



E2Sweet -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:14:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

the thing is it's never gonna be either/or it's going to be shattered feelings or shattered feelings and embarassment.   and obviouslly if it's not the person to tell then you don't tell them duh


But what if they find out 'accidentally'? A playful touch down there, or even an innocent brushing up against, and what then? What do you think the chances are the other person is not going to have a major negative reaction? It seems to me it's that time when you're face to face with someone who is suddenly very angry and feeling mislead that you're going to wish you had been up-front from the start.

Withholding something this important when starting a new relationship just screams 'I'm going to pursue what I want and whatever the other person wants and feels is secondary. If I hurt them then so what? At least I didn't have to reveal my past and get my feelings hurt.' That's the bottom line and it's selfish thinking.



RCdc -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:15:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

look my answer is what it is


Ok then.  Based on your half and hesitant answer - my question is - when dating online, when do you tell a person who is a possibility as a dominant for you, that you have a gf?
 
the.dark.



thishereboi -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:15:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

I think im just gonna call it a day and arguing with bigots is done for the day... so anyone NOT a bigot that reads this can KNOW that I tried to fight evil and opression but alas minds were not changed and bigotry once again prevailed... it's like prop 8 all over agian ( damn mormons)  I'll just go back to my seat with the proud people of love and let you continue to hate.


Have you been off arguing with bigots....well I guess that is why you haven't answered any questions here. But that's ok, you run along and play with your little friends. Maybe one of them can explain to you why being dishonest is not the way to start a relationship. Maybe they can also explain to you that women who are sexually attracted to other women are called "lesbians" and they don't usually expect their partners to have spare parts. Some of them won't even care, but they will still want the relationship to be build on honesty.



E2Sweet -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:21:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

...bigotry once again prevailed... it's like prop 8 all over agian ( damn mormons)  I'll just go back to my seat with the proud people of love and let you continue to hate.and that's why she would dump you in the end boi to bad for you cuz she seems quite the looker :p  to the op please take my advice cuz these people will get you killed and lead you to unhappiness and i garuntee you they would care less


...This is just uncalled for... I give up.



RCdc -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:26:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetlindsey84

I think im just gonna call it a day and arguing with bigots is done for the day... so anyone NOT a bigot that reads this can KNOW that I tried to fight evil and opression but alas minds were not changed and bigotry once again prevailed... it's like prop 8 all over agian ( damn mormons)  I'll just go back to my seat with the proud people of love and let you continue to hate.


Your accusing bigotry of people who include those who are tg/ts when you make a bigoted reference to mormons? How do you justify that?
 
the.dark.



Aszhrae -> RE: Telling a date you're a TG woman (1/7/2009 12:29:23 PM)

As many have stipulated in other threads, the best thing to do is tell them if there is the sense that emotions are becoming heavy and thus more involved. The best thing you can hope for is that they are more interested in you as a person than wanting to take you to bed when you tell them.
I remember how much trouble it was for some people to accept when people started coming out of the closet and admitting that they were gay before it actually became accepted by the majority and only a minority are still offended.
The same can be said about those who are TG, going through the same thing.
Its weird but perhaps it is expected, but I find it interesting in how the gay community fought like hell for acceptance and now that they have it to a degree. Some forget what they had to go through when they first came out. In my own experience of my own admission, I was either greeted with fascination and eventual acceptance or contempt and hostility by hetero men and gay men. Go figure! Yet with hetero women and gay women its understanding for the most part.
It must be ingrained within the male ego to be repulsed by anything different than what they regard as normal or even reacting with hostility and possible violence.
Being honest when emotions start leaning towards the hot and heavy. Best thing that can be hoped for is understanding and acceptance.




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