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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

If a man were to tell me he's a submissive, I probably wouldn't believe him.  Not because there are no true male submissives, but because 99% of  men who call themselves submissives demonstrate through action that they are part-time bottoms.  The men I know who are the most submissive to women are doting vanilla husbands.  Kinksters, not so much.

Maybe there will now be a long line of female dominants contradicting me, but somehow I doubt it.

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ORIGINAL: LadyTeazer

This might be slightly off topic, but from the other side of the coin......    In a way, I can understand that opinion in a male Dom.   As a female Domme, I admit that at times I have a rather unflattering opinion of female subs.   Examples:  a Dom and female sub are sitting on the couch, watching TV.  He says "Go get me a beer/a glass of iced tea/a sandwich", or whatever.  And even before he has finished speaking, she jumps up and races off to the kitchen.  Or, he says "My shirts are not folded correctly" after she has spent hours doing the laundry, and she, in tears, apologizes profusely, and immediately re-folds them.   My gut reaction to a scenario like that is  "You dumb bunny.  You're not a stupid doormat.  Grow a backbone and act like you have a brain in your head."    I do not mean to offend the female subs out there.  This is just my opinion.  I know that you choose to be a sub, because that is what you enjoy.   But in certain circumstances, seeing a female behave like that (whether she is into BDSM, or is just very vanilla) really ruffles my feathers,  as I feel that all the advances women have made have just been wiped out, and we're back in 1809 instead of 2009. 
 

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ORIGINAL: Roguescharm

Sorry if I'm hijacking I just had to get this out. The above is almost exactly how I feel, and I feel all the worse for reacting this way because I identify as a sub. It's maddening. It doesn't matter how much I tell myself that it's their/our/my choice; I still feel like I'm somehow letting the side down. It sucks.

Sorry for the interjection, it just sort of struck me like lightning.

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ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

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ORIGINAL: Focus50
 I'm not even sure how I could have ended up with a "best friend" who was submissive all along  - but such is the limitations of hypotheticals, I s'pose....
 
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not putting down male subs here (really, I'm NOT), rather I'm more an advocate of "birds of a feather flock together" and "water always finds its own true level" etc and there's no way my "best friend" could be submissive without me picking up on signs.  And since my dominant self doesn't relate to male subs anymore than my hetero self relates to gays, this fella would not have been my "best friend" to begin with.  But yeah, he could still be A friend or acquaintance and his "coming out" would likely be greeted with, "Yep, I thought so...." - and then I'd have him find me girls of the same persuasion....  *wink*
 Focus.

So, you couldn't be friends with a submissive male...Why?  I'm not quite sure I understand your birds of a feather analogy.  Unless you think that submissive men are always submissive to everyone.  Which would explain that sweetheart of a saying that I bolded.  I mean yes, of course, if a man is submissive, he would just fall over himself to be your pimp.

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ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Not an attack at you Focus, however...
 
I always find it funny when so many of you male Doms say " I would have known, I would never be with someone with submissive tendencies" and yet you miss that most male subs are dominant in their everyday lives---you think they are all such tittybabies---such a generalization----IMHO how in the world do you think you can tell?
 
As for college roommate, it was only part of the frame of reference as many men who are bf's--start or cement their life  long relationship when they are in college.

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ORIGINAL: Focus50
Why "funny"?
 
You don't think people have instincts or intuition or are generally more observant than most?

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero


But some would continue to place a level of oppression on women who happen to be happy in submission because they think what gender equality somehow really "means" is that all women have to force some empty bravado of self-assertion to make up for the lives of generations of dead women they don't know?

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: Focus50
Why "funny"?
 
You don't think people have instincts or intuition or are generally more observant than most?

I don't think she meant it personally.

It just has that scent of something that everyone fancies themselves capable of, as a bit of anthropic habit.

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Feel differently? Look at him differently? Lump in your throat? Treat him differently?

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ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

He would go from what I believed to be another alpha to some beta belly showing submissive.

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ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist
Plus I'd have to get permission to hangout with him... Maybe I'm just not evolved enough for all that yet.

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

If a man were to tell me he's a submissive, I probably wouldn't believe him.  Not because there are no true male submissives, but because 99% of  men who call themselves submissives demonstrate through action that they are part-time bottoms.  The men I know who are the most submissive to women are doting vanilla husbands.  Kinksters, not so much.

Maybe there will now be a long line of female dominants contradicting me, but somehow I doubt it.

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I am still trying to get clues as to how these intuitive people are able to tell if a man is submissive? I mean if its so obvious, what are some of the clues?

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ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I am still trying to get clues as to how these intuitive people are able to tell if a man is submissive? I mean if its so obvious, what are some of the clues?
 
I can assure you, would bear or blutarsky walk in to My work environment or be ahead of Me in the grocery line I could not tell---but perhaps that warrants a thread of its own, I dont want to be accused of hijacking My own thread.