Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (Full Version)

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hermione83 -> Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:30:21 PM)

I haven't had any luck on CM. I know that alt isn't for me judging by the pics, and I got about 2 emails ever on bondage. Well not no luck on CM , but just not enough. Any better or similar luck in finding a permanent D/s partner on any other sites, and which ones please? My new years resolution is to try really hard to find someone and find them or move on with wanting a Dom/man and accept being single for the rest of my life. Thanks for the help.



DarkSteven -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:33:32 PM)

hermione, why use a site at all?  Since Christianity is so important to you, why not look in your church?  Meet people, and use "phrases" like, "I liike a man to take control of situations", "I like a man who knows his own mind", etc.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:36:23 PM)

Reading your profile---well its a pretty tall order, not something impossible, but definitely something that will take some patience on your part and some work to look.
 
Have you also tried vanilla sites?  My best friend met her Master on date.com--and it was well worth the search.



hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:37:17 PM)

Lol, what.. I would never be so forward as to admit I was looking for anyone in church, or say what I wanted in a man.. or otherwise in person.. I've never done it. That's why I look online. I'd pass out. I'm one of those people that tries to accept everything else other people say and who doesn't act too shocked when something upsetting happens to her directionly and would try to behave the way a guy who showed interested conveyed.. but I would never be saying upfront what I wanted until way far into it.. that's why.. I always use the internet. Way easier for me..



hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:38:31 PM)

All the vanilla sites I've tried I was either too weird for and didn't get accepted (eharmony) or were just.. boring things without specific questions, and stupid pointless facts like... pictures and location (match.com). I need a life story and all..



camille65 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:40:18 PM)

You're only 25 and you've decided that if you don't find a dom this year you are going to be alone forever?

I know its hard to be patient but when a person develops a very strong idea of what precisely they want then it usually takes awhile. Have you tried regular dating sites that don't revolve around BDSM? People meet from all sorts of places, online and offline.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:42:36 PM)

The site might not have much to do with it, hermione.



utopicus -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:46:31 PM)

The first new year resolution should be: no new year resolutions... Especially those ones that depend your happiness on.
It would be advisable not to restrict your entire universe upon an illusion - finding somebody, and finding somebody by all means. You are very young (some might say you have not started your life yet) and your entire life lays at your feet - it is a matter of patience and perseverance to succeed in your expectations.
It should not be dependant upon a site that you find somebody with whom to spend your life. Try to socialise, have friends, go out and live, live your life. When time is right you will find somebody, but only when the intricate mechanism of universe "conspires" in your favour, so do not push things to happen, because they will not - you will only grow unhappier.
In interim, try and analyse yourself, find out who you are and what you want from life; thus, you will know that the person you meet is destined for you.
Good luck and be positive!



angelwithhonor -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:46:43 PM)

.....wow i am really done then, smiles. i am also on a vanilla site called plentyofish.com. i show on my profile to the point that i am a submissive and that i search for a Dominant Male. but it doesnt look and go high depth of info. You do that after you start to chatting.Good luck with your search..pssssssst you have lots of time left..[:)]



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:47:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

I haven't had any luck on CM. I know that alt isn't for me judging by the pics, and I got about 2 emails ever on bondage. Well not no luck on CM , but just not enough. Any better or similar luck in finding a permanent D/s partner on any other sites, and which ones please? My new years resolution is to try really hard to find someone and find them or move on with wanting a Dom/man and accept being single for the rest of my life. Thanks for the help.


Alt.com didn't work for me.  Too many wimmens aiming for the big prize.

However, HomeDepot.com was good.  I got a great 27 inch chainsaw...it never talked back...and it cut the fuck out of me (and I NEVER need to add oil!).

(I'm still bleeding...and I've never been happier).



camille65 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 6:48:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Lol, what.. I would never be so forward as to admit I was looking for anyone in church, or say what I wanted in a man.. or otherwise in person.. I've never done it. That's why I look online. I'd pass out. I'm one of those people that tries to accept everything else other people say and who doesn't act too shocked when something upsetting happens to her directionly and would try to behave the way a guy who showed interested conveyed.. but I would never be saying upfront what I wanted until way far into it.. that's why.. I always use the internet. Way easier for me..


But it isn't easier for you because it isn't working. Honestly I think you need to look at your approach (or lack of) and work on that. If you wait until you're into a relationship to verbalize what you want then what happens if you don't get it? That sounds awfully messy and hurtful in the long run to me.

If you keep striving for something important and failing then it can really help to look at your path.



T1981 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:00:04 PM)

We did meet someone nice on Alt.com, and we hope to meet up with them next week, but so far, Collarme has been the site that has not only generated the most contact, but the friendliest, too. I've also found the community here on these messageboards to be very good, too - it's very active and there's plenty of intelligence to found here. I like that. :)



hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:04:40 PM)

Alt.com scared me - all the profile pics were of dicks.... Is it still like that? I'll be 26 in april. Oh, I don't socialize, I'm a hermit pretty much... I'm not gonna change. I've met everyone I've ever dated online. I can tell them what I want easily. It's fine online. Then I don't have to tell them to their face, they already know. That's why I don't bother with in person stuff. And yes, I'm just too much of a weakling to sit around waiting for a guy. I will either have to completely become independent and change and no longer be submissive, or stay the same and find someone to go with what I am now. If I become the other, I will not need a guy. It will be too late then. I do not want an equal partnership by any means. If I have to go out and get what I want, then I don't want it. Either he finds me, or I'm independent and alone and take care of myself. That's what I've decided. I want to chose a path. It's about waiting on my life.



T1981 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:13:04 PM)

You will be waiting a long time then, Hermoine.

Independant does mean giving up your submissive nature. I assume that you support yourself at the moment, that you take care of your own living space? These are very important - even if a Master decides to take you on as a full life dependant, it is important that you KNOW how to do these things. Relationships can and do end, either through people leaving or death. A good Master would want to know that you are able to take care of yourself should something happen to him.

Simply because you are submissive does not mean that you are not capable of finding what you want - after all, if you aren't willing to look for it, why should someone be willing to look for you? What if they are in the same boat? Submission is a gift to give, and for you to languish with it will do you no good and in fact, if your nature to serve is strong enough, may even do you more harm.

And yes, alt.com does have far too many dick pics. I've never understood that, very difficult for me to take a person seriously if all I know of them is their penis. [8D]



thornhappy -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:15:47 PM)

If you're not hearing your ovaries ticking, why do you have this deadline of one year?

I'd go to singles groups just to get used to being around men and being friends, without looking at every guy as a potential spouse.  The pressure's a lot lower that way.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:20:29 PM)

or if you are just looking for online, that's ok too.



Jeptha -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:21:21 PM)

I don't think many people are looking for a dependent.
If you are equating submission with dependence I think you are setting yourself up for some difficulty.
What's wrong with being indendent and submissive?
That would seem to be the strongest position to operate from.

As far as sites go, I like the humble Craigslist, chariot of the people. Yes, the common rabble congregate there in droves, but some of them have hearts of gold. You have to know what you want though and use good judgement because you'll likely get a ton of junk e-mail.

Good luck!



hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:25:21 PM)

I thought that was just for jobs and selling old chairs or something. I'll check it out, ty. Well, considering I'm a virgin, it'd be great to actually have my first orgasm before I'm 27 after I get married, but the main reason might actually be that I'm lonely and submissive and really need a dominant. Not hard to understand, I'd imagine. Also, I want to be a missionary, but I will only do it if married and he is going with me to a foreign country. I'm not brave enough for that line of work on my own, for sure.



chiaroscuro -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:28:05 PM)

To answer the OP's question, yes, I've had luck.  I met my husband on Bondage, but that was over a decade ago, and the site has changed a lot.  Don't give up, Hermione.  



hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/2/2009 7:28:58 PM)

Singles groups? What is that? I can't even imagine. I can't even talk about having relationships to other people in person, it makes me super shy. I won't tell my family I'm dating unless I'm engaged and I'm sure it's working out, don't want everyone looking at me like I'm a failure and all (again). I actually went to a party on new year's and my drunken friends called up some guy they called "virgin dave" (not sure if that was a joke, or not) and said some single girl is here and he should come over and get laid, and I was saying NO NO NO SHUT UP in the back ground do not bring over single friends, and turning bright red, and my friend's husband apologized for embarrassing me. I am now really curious why he was called virgin Dave. Oh well.. sigh.. I'm just too shy for the whole people know someone kind of dating... thing (and it was coworkers, not real friends, and no they don't know/think I'm a virgin.. just the only one there alone)



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