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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 1/6/2006 8:46:11 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
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Yes, she definitely didn't like what she was hearing, either here or on his thread. She also didn't like having her HSV status revealed. She'll be back... without a picture... and what do you bet she NEVER tells any submissives in the future about her HSV status. She's more concerned with her own image than her submissive's safety... or, I must add, his well-being overall. Well, you heard her... "The ONLY reason at THIS point I would care to continue to participate is that it is an excellent learning device for Me. He's My tool to play, experiment and learn on"

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan
And FYI, the OP has deleted or deactivated her profile.



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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 1/6/2006 9:10:50 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Yes, she definitely didn't like what she was hearing, either here or on his thread. She also didn't like having her HSV status revealed. She'll be back... without a picture... and what do you bet she NEVER tells any submissives in the future about her HSV status. She's more concerned with her own image than her submissive's safety... or, I must add, his well-being overall. Well, you heard her... "The ONLY reason at THIS point I would care to continue to participate is that it is an excellent learning device for Me. He's My tool to play, experiment and learn on"

quote:



and test the proven method of STD's

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 1/6/2006 9:44:46 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
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Yeah. I'd laugh if it wasn't so sick :(

Aren't research protocols required to provide full disclosure when enrolling subjects?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
and test the proven method of STD's



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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/1/2006 5:59:02 PM   
Reflectivesoul


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Joined: 4/25/2006
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ok I have a question.... does anyone remember where she lived? Because this has an AWFUL bad similarity to some things that happened on yahoo and the womans name is one thats been thrown around quite a bit and its one that I'm familliar with and now I'm kinda wondering if its the same woman... eww I really hope not... but between her mannerisms here and the name it almost sounds like a dead ringer.... *cringes*

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ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/1/2006 6:37:05 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

ok I have a question.... does anyone remember where she lived? Because this has an AWFUL bad similarity to some things that happened on yahoo and the womans name is one thats been thrown around quite a bit and its one that I'm familliar with and now I'm kinda wondering if its the same woman... eww I really hope not... but between her mannerisms here and the name it almost sounds like a dead ringer.... *cringes*
 
 
I too see a similarity between BMFS and a new domme who joined a Yahoo femdom group I belong to.  I belong to a southern group and she  is from a Northern state- I believe Indiana.  In any case- same story... (not that I read it all but enough to see the similarity)
in fact her first post to the group was a life story, right down to her job situation, life with daughter, co-dependants Anonymous, HerpesII!!!  So when I saw the BMFS name and read the thread I said whoa either there is someone playing games or someone never learns..
 
Anyway we advised her to refrain from giving such detailed personal info but.. some people must learn things the hard way! 


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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/1/2006 8:07:41 PM   
Lashra


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Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeBMFS

He insists that even though he offers videos and training tapes, he does it for us, not to just get his rocks off. BUT! I feel I am being trained to be the Domme he wants Me to be and I am NOT liking this feeling of being 'topped' from the 'bottom' in our learning. Is this unrealistic?



Training YOU is exactly what he is trying to pull and you need to remind him who the hell is in charge. It sounds to me like he is spoiled and used to having his own way, doesn't sound very much like a submissive at all.
You either take a hold of the reigns and come down hard him and he obeys or you cut him loose. He's trying to make you into HIS fantasy Domme, don't let him get away with that.

~Lashra

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/1/2006 9:44:29 PM   
subtlesubie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Training YOU is exactly what he is trying to pull and you need to remind him who the hell is in charge. It sounds to me like he is spoiled and used to having his own way, doesn't sound very much like a submissive at all.
You either take a hold of the reigns and come down hard him and he obeys or you cut him loose. He's trying to make you into HIS fantasy Domme, don't let him get away with that.

~Lashra



Check the date of the op. 

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 3:32:03 PM   
sophia37


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Dear Domme, I'm curious and was wondering if you can answer me a question, as I hear the herpes word bandied about on so many threads and on more sites than even this one.  

How do you know definitively that you have herpes simplex 2? What procedure did you have, to give you those results.

As a matter of fact I'd be curious to hear from anyone who thinks they have herpes as to how they know which variety they have or if thats what they really have.

I ask this, becuase Im really now starting to believe that people (I'm not saying you) just see a sore on their body and come to their own conclusions.

Can you help clarify?

With all due respect to not just the Domme but all who are here reading,  what makes us all think that STD testing even includes herpes? I have never been offered a test for some sort of all inclusive wide range STD fact sheet. And I go to state run womens clinics which are pretty thorough. Its usually just one test at a time, and herpes isnt included. Just asking.

I actually have been tested. So Im familiar with the procedure.

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 4:38:50 PM   
janiceleeinsc


Posts: 61
Joined: 3/22/2006
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Hello:

I am a pretty new Domme.   I have been a Domme for two years.  I started as a sub.  I finally realized my slave was topping me from the bottom, and did not really know how to fix it because he is my fiance.  He loved me enough that he found me a pro-Domme about an hour away from us.   I trained under her for two months, free of charge, in exchange for use of my slave in public scening.  She was fabulous, but did not play.  
When we are new, we still have the love issue to overcome.  I know there are some things I will never be able to do to my slave that she did shuch as toilet slavery and edge play.   I am not that advanced.  I know my limits.
I guess I am trying to tell you to know your limits, and stay with them.  There are too many sub males on this site that will worship the ground you walk on. 
Your sub broke protocol in my opinion when he paid the Pro-Domme.   Even with the Pro-Domme we had everything understood before we began our training.  I knew I was responsibile for my slave's reactions and would be accountable for his mistakes.  
I also suggest to find someone to help you develop your skill level.  It takes time.  I don't know it all yet.  Good luck, and there are too many fish in the sea.

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan


(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 8:23:07 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
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From: Philadelphia, PA
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This might come out as harsh, but it's meant to be constructive.  I realize you're new, but you're dealing with someone who obviously is not.

You have become his puppet, plain and simple.  You've allowed all of this to happen with this gentleman.  If you truly believe that your pleasure and happiness come first, show that through your words and deeds.  You've demonstrated to him that HIS needs, wants and desires come before anything you might want.  It sets up the wrong impression and there is no wonder that he is acting the way he is.  Player or not, this guy is expert in the art of getting what he wants.  You've ceded to him in every way.  Personally, I don't really fault him for continuing to push in the direction he wants because you've shown him that he can get it easily.

Sit down and really think about what he does for you.  Is he of value to you?  Does he show respect?  Does he demonstrate that he values your control, guidance and direction?  If those answers are yes, then by all means, he's worth your trying to figure things out and regain control of the relationship.  (I'll tell you, from the outside, it does not appear that way!)  While I could say you could levy the "My way or the highway" thing, I don't think you've quite perfected the aspect of "my way" to where it would work. I lean towards suggesting you dismiss him.  It would also be wise of you to admit some of the fault in encouraging this sort of disrespectful behavior. 

I think that a novice mistress can learn well from an experienced slave, however, that slave must be focused on the betterment of the domina and not on his own jollies.  You'd be better off getting involved in your local community and making friends with other dominas so you can learn how not to have this sort of thing spin out of control again.

You seem to have some profound misconceptions about female dominance.  It's not just about "being a bitch" and "getting your way".  It's alot of responsibility, maintaining a cool head and being the one who orchestrates all that happens around you.  To a certain degree, being a dominant does put you accountable for the realization of other's fantasies and desires, but it should be on your terms.  We're fooling ourselves if we think it's 'all about us'.  And I do hope you were joking about beating someone so they'd understand your point.  The application of physical force to make up for a shortcoming in communications, is in my opinion, terribly careless and irresponsible.  I hope you reconsider doing such a thing.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 8:30:02 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
I personally wouldn't discount the questions that subfever sensitively asked.  To be honest, they're questions that you as a novice dominant could learn a great deal from.  Your thumbing your nose at him because he's a submissive male and has taken time out of his life to offer you some helpful advice and/or support only shows that you may not yet fully appreciate what things submissives offer to 'our world' in general.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 9:26:31 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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Fascinating post.
 
In all honesty you come across like a new and bitter divorcée who has read a few Dominatrix books and went out and bought some shiny leather thigh high boots and whip.
 
Basically what I am saying is that you seem to have bought into a the image of being a Domme and not really read, researched or have taken time to understand, the core essence of a bdsm relationship.
 
I think you went way too fast.
I think you are not communicating your desires and expectations well.
I think you are harming the person in your care if it is true that you have an std and were dishonest about it.
And I think that women dont have the "right" to be a bitch. No one does.

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"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 9:56:47 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Fascinating post.
 
In all honesty you come across like a new and bitter divorcée who has read a few Dominatrix books and went out and bought some shiny leather thigh high boots and whip.
 
Basically what I am saying is that you seem to have bought into a the image of being a Domme and not really read, researched or have taken time to understand, the core essence of a bdsm relationship.
 
I think you went way too fast.
I think you are not communicating your desires and expectations well.
I think you are harming the person in your care if it is true that you have an std and were dishonest about it.
And I think that women dont have the "right" to be a bitch. No one does.


You responded to my post.  Were you referring to me being the bitter divorcee?  I'm reeeeealy confused!

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 10:16:11 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline
OMGosh No that is purly user error, it is a very curious thing that if you go to add you post by using the box it automatically responds to the last poster.
 
I liked your post, esp the part where you tell her not to discount the questions of subfever, I felt the same way when I saw how she dismissed him, and missed out on the opportunity for self evaluation and broader education.

Ps thanks for asking a clarification question instead of jumping to a harsh conclusion....

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 6/2/2006 10:18:11 PM >


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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/2/2006 10:56:55 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
The boy was from Michigan, so it was a three hour drive from wherever he was to get to her.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Need Advice- I'm Stuck and new :( - 6/7/2006 8:58:30 AM   
IamDifferent


Posts: 7
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To FTopinMichigan...i too am in Michigan and would be highly honored merely to be considered by YOU.

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