RE: Married Male submissives

quote:

ORIGINAL: guarddawg

There's also the fact that we change and evolve in what we need and desire as individuals as we grow older. A person that we fell in love with several years ago may now be someone who is quietly driving us completely insane and refuses (intentionally or not) to listen to what we say.
Twelve years ago, I thought I had found someone I was comfortable with. Something drove me to want to protect and provide for her. Before long, I found myself taking care of everything she wanted while she stayed at home. I was constantly bending over backwards to provide, especially since she was pregnant. Half way though our marriage, things went south when I found myself being pulled in too many directions and trying to fix the mess' she had made of our finances that I was going insane- depression and anger at the situation had set in. During a conversation, my wife claimed to be submissive and wished for me to be her dominant. While I did my best to be what she wanted me to be, I didn't FEEL dominant in any way and often had my attempts thrown back in my face. 2 years passed of my trying to be what she wanted me to be, and my constant failing (which she was very often pointing out to me). I was on the verge of being classed as clinically suicidal.
About that point, my wife encouraged me to be collared to a mistress friend of hers in hopes that I would 'learn' to be the dominant that she wanted me to be. It back fired on her when I found I loved being submissive, that I found what I was needing and for once in a very long time felt whole. One problem that arose was that my spouse found most of what I did as a submissive (or just my being submissive) to be "disgusting"... even if it was taking care of her in much the same way I would my dominant. Things have now progressed to the point that although my spouse claims this undying love and loyalty for me, I am still constantly picking up after her, and frankly being around her is down right annoying. Beyond that, I feel almost nothing for her. Now I find the only real pleasure of any kind is when I am in service to my Owner. Part of me wants to claim that I still love my spouse, but my soul screams that I am in love with my Owner.

I think I have lost track of what I originally was going to say so am going to go for a walk now.

Hello guarddawg,
What a complex situation are you in. And I admire your openness here on this forum.

There are a few question I've regarding your responds.
First of all, I don't understand your add.
It states that you're a switch, and seek a subbie, which contradicts with this story you've just written.

Second of all: your partner did a real mindspin on you, didn't she? And in My eyes, that doesn't suit her one bit. she wanted a Dom, and so you should b one... did you have any say in this? or did you think this over? To Me it sounds that you let yourself being led by her, and by what she wanted. And her telling you how you got it thrown back in your face whatever you tried.
(all this sounds so wrong, more abusive then anything else)

The third thing which is wierd to read that, since you've discovered you're happier as a sub, and therefor being yourself disgusts her...????
Wotafuck.... she wants to be a sub herself, how on earth can it be discusting when the one she so claims to love happends to be a submissive disgusts her?

while she is a submissive herself? To Me that doesn't add up one bit.

To Me it sounds that she tops her ass off, in telling you what to do or not.

So answer Me this, why on earth would you Top if that's not what you feel is right for you? Only to please others? Is that true submission? or forced topping...?

At the end of your writing you say that you don't feel anything
for her anymore, so My idea is, she emotionally drained you
for her pleasure, and tell Me when I think wrong,
you also wrote that you've had many issues,
with depression, and even suiecidal,
how are you on that path?

Did she support you to help you getting out of that?

After reading your story here it doesnt sound strange to Me
that your flame for her died.
Maybe it's time to move on,
and start to worry about your own life,
and live it the way you want to live it,
instead of trying to please others which
doesn't make you happy,
eventhough your submissive.

Find the happiness within yourself.

That's where it lies.

Whenever you would to talk about this in private,
feel free to email Me.

I wish you enough.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`