Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Married Male submissives


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Married Male submissives Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/8/2009 7:08:01 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		 
quote:

And, one advantage a married person brings to the table, they don't want to marry you.
Then they should stop promisingm because I can assure you that most marrieds that are sneaking around use the phrase " when we are divoced, you and I will be free"--stop the false expectations.
 
quote:

With a married person, you know that your relationship will never get over domesticated and you'll know the relationship doesn't have to meet lofty, unattainable ideals --- and that the point of seeing one another isn't money, family, status, or the day to day necessities of running a household.
  That holds true in about 1% of the relationships, the rest---are looking for the brass ring thinking, " I can be  better than xxx, or I am better than xxx-they just made a mistake."
 
IMHO those ideas are bunk.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/13/2009 4:48:48 AM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline 		For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Married Male sub missives - 1/14/2009 7:11:13 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		from the married sub missives point it has to be communicate and be open to things that you may not want to know. my wife understands my desire to serve as i have been borrowed by others for years mostly ladies who cant get their husbands to do something. for me this is just a natural progression. for my wife she has confided in me a kinky fantasy medical play. so for the husbands who want to try the lifestyle have a long and open conversation on what it is that you want or need and ask the same of the wife you never know your partner might just be kinky.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/14/2009 11:56:21 PM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22
  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. 

So let Me ask you one question secretmaster,

What if the tables we're turned,
and your wife would have an affair
behind your back, how would you feel?

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

* My motto is : treat others how You want to b treated *


< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/14/2009 11:57:39 PM >

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 6:43:21 AM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22
  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. 

So let Me ask you one question secretmaster,

What if the tables we're turned,
and your wife would have an affair
behind your back, how would you feel?

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

* My motto is : treat others how You want to b treated *



I'm glad you asked....

I would wonder why the hell she was giving something to someone else that she never gave to me.  It is a little different being that she is the one withholding her passion from me.  To withhold it from me and give it to someone else would hurt a little.  I've never withheld it from her both sexually or otherwise.  She knows exactly how I feel.  I have been honest enough with her that she knows that there are needs she is not meeting, and I would hope before she does something like that she would at least give me that courtesy.  It would also shock the hell out of me since she doesn't fantasize, doesn't masturbate, and believes doing so is a sin and committing adultery in itself.  

Having said all of that, I would actually be very happy for her for finally finding someone that could make her happy, cause no matter how hard I've tried I haven't been able to.  In the end her happiness is what I desire.  

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 6:48:31 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22
  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. 

So why arent you honest with her?
and tell her that you've a submissive? It seems contradicting
with what you just said.


I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`



< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/15/2009 7:36:05 AM >

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 7:11:08 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

I would wonder why the hell she was giving something to someone else that she never gave to me.  It is a little different being that she is the one withholding her passion from me.  To withhold it from me and give it to someone else would hurt a little.  I've never withheld it from her both sexually or otherwise.  She knows exactly how I feel.  I have been honest enough with her that she knows that there are needs she is not meeting, and I would hope before she does something like that she would at least give me that courtesy.  It would also shock the hell out of me since she doesn't fantasize, doesn't masturbate, and believes doing so is a sin and committing adultery in itself.  

Having said all of that, I would actually be very happy for her for finally finding someone that could make her happy, cause no matter how hard I've tried I haven't been able to.  In the end her happiness is what I desire.  



It seems to me that you know what you think, and you know what she tells you, and vice versa.  From my perspective, it's difficult to believe that you two really know how each other feels at the level of communication that's implied.  I am not trying to judge or cast aspersions (BELIEVE ME,  I am a black kettle to be calling someone else a pot, ...er...well, you know).  The situation you describe is neither honest enough nor sensitive in my own opinion, and I am speaking from a place of NOT having had the same kinds of conversations that you are NOT having regarding your needs, desires and pleasure.  Without knowing all of your particulars I apologize for making any leaps here.  I believe that you love your children, and hope that they don't end up caught in the swirl as things change, and they always do change.  Kids are very perceptive and may very well be influenced already by things as they are.  I wish you all the best in reaching your happiness as a man and as a family. 

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 7:18:53 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22
Having said all of that, I would actually be very happy for her for finally finding someone that could make her happy, cause no matter how hard I've tried I haven't been able to.  In the end her happiness is what I desire.  


Sounds like a very difficult situation.  She is not happy, you seem also not happy.   You say you desire her happiness, but participate in activities that could/will lead to her feeling harmed and betrayed.  If the two of you are really that incompatible, then I will urge you to think on the fact that you appear to be holding this person in relationship with you who you say is not compatible for you and building a history of deception with her.  If she ever does come around, as you seem to hope she will, how will you deal with this giant untruth between you?  It could be hard if not impossible to give yourself fully over to her if there are lies in your past together.  If she were to ever find out, it would likely be highly destructive to the relationship.  You might be able to pull it off, but the strain on you of keeping that secret is likely to be enormous.  Are you sure you want to keep your finger in that dyke while the water builds?  This sort of thing so often ends with -everything- being swept away.



_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 7:29:26 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  


Sorry, but if you can't be honest with your spouse, then you probibly won't be honest with me either. You can rationalize it all you want, bottom line is this....I am not going to waste my time with someone I can not trust. You have already proven youre dishonest, so why would I waste my time? You want to call me judgemental because of that, go ahead, it won't bother me.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 7:34:24 AM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22
  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. 

So why arent you honest with her?
and tell her that you've a submissive? It seems contradicting
with what you just said.


I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


I'm not even sure how to respond to that cause the response you just quoted pretty much says why.  But I'll do my best.  It's really quite impossible to explain to a person that allows complete honesty why someone would need to be dishonest with someone who doesn't.  I don't think some of you know how many women out there honestly don't want to hear the truth, or can't handle the truth.  It's almost impossible to explain unless you have experienced it.  I said previously that my wife does not want to know that I masturbate or fantasize.  If that is the case, then what makes you think she's gonna want to know about my desire to bind and gag a woman so that I can tease and pleasure her beyond her wildest dreams?  So no, I have not been specific in my sexual needs, because she can't handle most of the vanilla fantasies I have.  But I have told her in no uncertain words that she is not and probably never will be what I need sexually and I don't know what to do about that.  We are trying to work it out.  I'm slowly sharing some of my vanilla fantasies with her through the written word in the form of short stories in order to try and ease her comfort level.  I have to give her that chance and I owe it to her, and complete honesty would be taking that chance away from her, because it would be so against her religious viewpoints to stay with me, that my clothes would be thrown on the street at the first mention of it.  So I guess you could say I hold honesty in a second place position to our happiness, but it doesn't mean I don't hold honesty in high regard.  Holding honesty as the highest ethical standard is a mistake if you ask me, and that is not an opinion.  That is a fact!!  I don't think anyone here would have been honest with a Nazi soldier who walked into your house and asked if you had a Jew hiding in there.  The question is where do you place honesty on your priority list of ethical values.  

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 7:43:12 AM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  


Sorry, but if you can't be honest with your spouse, then you probibly won't be honest with me either. You can rationalize it all you want, bottom line is this....I am not going to waste my time with someone I can not trust. You have already proven youre dishonest, so why would I waste my time? You want to call me judgemental because of that, go ahead, it won't bother me.


If you can't trust someone in that situation, then that's fine, but to generalize and say that all married men that cheat will be dishonest with you as well is an over generalization.  My submissive has been more than satisfied with my level of honesty with her and a big part of that is how honest she allows me to be.  She doesn't judge me, she doesn't get pissed at me for having certain thoughts, and she doesn't preach at me.   

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 7:48:47 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  


Sorry, but if you can't be honest with your spouse, then you probibly won't be honest with me either. You can rationalize it all you want, bottom line is this....I am not going to waste my time with someone I can not trust. You have already proven youre dishonest, so why would I waste my time? You want to call me judgemental because of that, go ahead, it won't bother me.


If you can't trust someone in that situation, then that's fine, but to generalize and say that all married men that cheat will be dishonest with you as well is an over generalization.  My submissive has been more than satisfied with my level of honesty with her and a big part of that is how honest she allows me to be.  She doesn't judge me, she doesn't get pissed at me for having certain thoughts, and she doesn't preach at me.   


I said I would not waste my time with them. Yes there is a possibility that they won't lie to me, but I am not willing to take that chance. They have already proven that they have no problem with lying, so why would I think I was any different. It is just not worth it to me.

I am glad your submissive is happy with your level of honestly. I hope she doesn't get hurt in the end, but that really doesn't have anything to do with what I would accept in a relationship.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 7:53:25 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22  So no, I have not been specific in my sexual needs, because she can't handle most of the vanilla fantasies I have.  But I have told her in no uncertain words that she is not and probably never will be what I need sexually and I don't know what to do about that.  We are trying to work it out.  I'm slowly sharing some of my vanilla fantasies with her through the written word in the form of short stories in order to try and ease her comfort level.  I have to give her that chance and I owe it to her, and complete honesty would be taking that chance away from her, because it would be so against her religious viewpoints to stay with me, that my clothes would be thrown on the street at the first mention of it.  So I guess you could say I hold honesty in a second place position to our happiness, but it doesn't mean I don't hold honesty in high regard.  Holding honesty as the highest ethical standard is a mistake if you ask me, and that is not an opinion.



To Me, Marriage is secret.
If one chose to be, unless there is a deal upfront,
to have an open marriage, so both party's can agree
to such. So when you tie this knot, secretmaster,
then this is what you've chosen for.

you've chosen for a woman, who isn't sexually open-minded,
by the sounds of your reply just now. (Maybe Im wrong)
There is nothing wrong with that,
but you're on a different level then she.

Out of respect for A. yourself and B. for her,
you should open up to her, and yes with all the risks
of get your ass thrown out.

because if you've the right to lie about this,
then WHERE do you draw the line in your marriage,
what is ok to lie about , and what isn't any more?

Lies will always come out, one way or the other,
and then she will be devastated.

It sucks to hurt people, by telling who you're
and what it is you love doing, if that means
that you aren't compatible?
Then so be it.

Move on, and go lead your own life,
but don't let her live a lie.

That's the worst you can put someone through.

Again, turn the tables, and think if it was you..
finding out...

That's why, go back to the beginning, and be honest,
she deserves to know who you really are,
and what's important to her, so she has a choice,
to go along with that, or to say, al right
you go do what you want to do!

I understand this isn't easy, and I admire your openness
here on the forum. I just felt like expressing My opinion.

That comparing to the nazi, was really comparing
apples to pears so...

I wish you allot of wisdom.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/15/2009 7:58:07 AM >

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 8:06:47 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22
The question is where do you place honesty on your priority list of ethical values.  


Between two people in relationship, honesty is the foundation upon which all else is built.  Without it, everything built on top is unstable and at perpetual risk of destruction.

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 1/15/2009 8:08:01 AM >

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 8:09:38 AM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

That's why, go back to the beginning, and be honest,
she deserves to know who you really are,
and what's important to her, so she has a choice,
to go along with that, or to say, al right
you go do what you want to do!



I appreciate your words as well.  I have actually enjoyed the chats.  I think I'm at a point right now that as soon as I figure out who I am I plan on telling her.  I absolutely don't plan on lying to her indefinitely.  I just think during this time of trying to discover who I am and what I really want out of life it is wise to keep certain things a secret. 

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 8:15:27 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
I wish you goodluck secretmaster!!

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 11:29:52 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  

I realize this wasn't your last comment on this thread, but I keep going back to this.  What you say here is one of My particular hot buttons.

As soon as someone throws out that comment about how people who are "supposed to be so open minded" and imply that we don't have a moral standard just because we happen to be kinky, it tends to irritate Me.    Just because I get off on beating My boy's ass, doesn't mean I'd be ok with it if I had to lie to My husband about it. 

There are at least three people on this thread alone who aren't putting their kink above their spouses.  The desire for kink or for sex wasn't more important than hurting their significant others for it.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 11:49:05 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  


Bible thumpers who don't take the whole of that bible into consideration are living half their creed.  First of all... I would give you scripture references but my books were left by mistake in a move.  But in the New Testiment the people are told not to deny a partner sexual relations for too long and mostly done for spiritual reasons, because it could/would cause them to sin.  Any bible thumper that doesn't consider that god made the human with sexual desire and needs... thus a prime example of sexual desire and love in the book of Soloman.. and the creator didn't expect human's to actually want to do it and do it... isn't thumping the whole bible, but some concept of the bible back in the day when sex was considered a bad thing for women to like unless she was a whore.

There is ignorance or simply a lack in desire caused by confusion or some other factor that results in a bible thumper not wanting to do what god's creation was created to do... love.

So bible thumping has nothing truely to do with not wanting sex.

Now, if you love your wife and value the relationship, you can claim it is best to lie to her to get your needs met.  I would consider this a problem seeing as though love doesn't include lies... there is some reason your wife doesn't want to have sex with you and it isn't found in the the truth of her creed unless she is confused. You are allowing her to deny you and in turn you justify being a liar to the one you so love and respect and the mother of your beloved um's.  That isn't love.  That is selfish on a number of fronts.

You also are blaming it all on your bible thumping wife.

To then expect kinky people to live the same lack in ethic's in our relationships and not stand for what we believe in... and expect us to not say something about what we find distasteful about not being sane or consentual.. and on and on... is about as smart, fair and realistic as your stand on love, marriage, family life and justification of self fulfillment using excuses and deceit.

(Former bible thumper here... who did believe in sexual love and it's expression according to the bible I thumped.)

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 1:52:14 PM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  

I realize this wasn't your last comment on this thread, but I keep going back to this.  What you say here is one of My particular hot buttons.

As soon as someone throws out that comment about how people who are "supposed to be so open minded" and imply that we don't have a moral standard just because we happen to be kinky, it tends to irritate Me.    Just because I get off on beating My boy's ass, doesn't mean I'd be ok with it if I had to lie to My husband about it. 

There are at least three people on this thread alone who aren't putting their kink above their spouses.  The desire for kink or for sex wasn't more important than hurting their significant others for it.



I was only speaking to the assumption that a man who lies to his wife will lie to you too.  I'm not saying you should think it's right or assuming you should have no moral compass but that was not the argument being made.  The argument most people were making is that all married men that cheat will be dishonest with you, and I'm simply stating that is very closed minded to think that way.  And just so you know, my desire goes well beyond the desire for "kink"  If that's all I wanted, then I think I could just live without it.  It obviously goes much deeper than that.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Married Male submissives - 1/15/2009 2:14:19 PM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

For a group of people that is supposed to be so open minded I'm suprised at how many generalities were made in this forum.  When all of ya'll have made the mistake of marrying too young, and your wife turns into a Bible thumping crusader who no longer desires you sexually and never really did to the extent that you wanted, but you still love her, and you have incredible kids together that you don't want to live a day without, then shoot me an e-mail and let me know how holier than thou you are.  Otherwise quit talking about us like we're a bunch of sex crazed perverts who have no respect for women.  I happen to have the deepest respect for women, and struggle every day of my life with having to be dishonest with her, but to be honest would mean the end of our relationship and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.  TO me the fact that I have a submissive that I can be more honest with then my wife has ever even allowed me to be (she still doesn't even want to know that I masterbate.  LOL) is something that I never want to jeapordize.  I will be honest with her to a fault, because it feels so good to have someone I can finally be that way with.  And don't fool yourself into thinking there aren't just as many disrespectful, dishonest men in the non-married category either.  You just have to figure out for yourself how honest someone can be with you.  


Bible thumpers who don't take the whole of that bible into consideration are living half their creed.  First of all... I would give you scripture references but my books were left by mistake in a move.  But in the New Testiment the people are told not to deny a partner sexual relations for too long and mostly done for spiritual reasons, because it could/would cause them to sin.  Any bible thumper that doesn't consider that god made the human with sexual desire and needs... thus a prime example of sexual desire and love in the book of Soloman.. and the creator didn't expect human's to actually want to do it and do it... isn't thumping the whole bible, but some concept of the bible back in the day when sex was considered a bad thing for women to like unless she was a whore.

There is ignorance or simply a lack in desire caused by confusion or some other factor that results in a bible thumper not wanting to do what god's creation was created to do... love.

So bible thumping has nothing truely to do with not wanting sex.

Now, if you love your wife and value the relationship, you can claim it is best to lie to her to get your needs met.  I would consider this a problem seeing as though love doesn't include lies... there is some reason your wife doesn't want to have sex with you and it isn't found in the the truth of her creed unless she is confused. You are allowing her to deny you and in turn you justify being a liar to the one you so love and respect and the mother of your beloved um's.  That isn't love.  That is selfish on a number of fronts.

You also are blaming it all on your bible thumping wife.

To then expect kinky people to live the same lack in ethic's in our relationships and not stand for what we believe in... and expect us to not say something about what we find distasteful about not being sane or consentual.. and on and on... is about as smart, fair and realistic as your stand on love, marriage, family life and justification of self fulfillment using excuses and deceit.

(Former bible thumper here... who did believe in sexual love and it's expression according to the bible I thumped.)


Oh, I like this one!!  LOL  As a former Bible thumper myself I've both read and study every page of the Bible from cover to cover so I know exactly what you're talking about.  I wasn't saying the fact that she was a bible thumper was why she didn't have sex with me.  But it would be why she would never accept any of my sexual desires.  Maybe that's from being misinformed maybe it's not, but either way it doesn't change the facts.  I'm also saying she is a Bible thumper, because any time I bring up problems in our relationship all I get are comments about how I just need to get right with Jesus before our relationship can get better. 

But all of that is besides the point.  Trust me when I say that I struggle to find my moral compass in all of this myself.  I've struggled 10 long years to be faithful to my wife, and the fact that I no longer can go without that passion and intimacy has me second guessing everything I believe in.  If you think what I'm doing is morally inexcusable, then obviously you'll never be with a married man.  If you're looking for 24/7 or something that will last forever then you probably shouldn't be with a married man, but if you don't want to be with a married man cause he will lie to you simply because he has lied to someone else is a gross oversimplification, especially when people start to judge other people for their decisions as to who they want to be with. 

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Married Male submissives Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109