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TigerNINTails -> RE: is it a rarity (1/6/2009 11:55:08 PM)
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I agree. I do notice that regardless of "lay back", there isn't really a lack of requirement in many situations in an M/s relationship. Under normal circumstances, there could be some confusion as to what constitutes an M/s relationship in the first place, but that's also another subject altogether.
But also, it's hard to say what's normal circumstances. Everyone's "normality" is different to most other's normality. We do have some consistency across the board with that here and there, but that in and of itself is rather inconsistent, lol. What I consider normal is often looked upon as extreme, and sometimes, as light. I find it necessary to engage in protocol oriented behaviour, both in my interaction and speech with my girls and in their address in return, as well as how they bring food, drink, how they sit, where they sit, how they approach me, eye position, presentation and even their general attitude.
Even with flex periods and relaxation, it's entirely possible to maintain the protocols of the relationship at all times, you simply suit the protocols required to the activity being undertaken.
I am typically very laid back, allowing the cards to lay where they lay, allowing a modicum of freedom of speech and movement and banter around me, as I'm into having conversations, and find it a waste if my slaves are totally silent and/or still, unless it's specifically required for whatever reason I concoct at the moment. For example, you don't require them to kneel with their thighs spread, when they're factually trying to answer e-mails, and need to use a computer chair.
I mean, it doesn't matter where we are really, the one consistency that we have is address protocol. I might be a stickler, according to the quote, but I don't believe that it's particularly a "display of dominance", it's just a behavioural guide and requirement of self discipline, no different than one in the military referring to a commanding officer as "Sir" or "Ma`am" when addressing them for whatever reason.
As someone else pointed out, it's very much the grounding of the relationship, and does assist the girls in maintaining their headspace, to the point that if I told them to suddenly stop being the way they've been over the past few years, they couldn't if they wanted to. It's ingrained, and "normal", and therefore, the relationship can be more laid back, because I'm not all over them correcting inconsistencies to the way I like them to interact and address with me and O'others in the M/s dynamic. Most of the time, I barely notice that she's referring to me in that way, though I hear it, it's normal. If I don't hear it, it stands out like a sore thumb.
So am I a stickler? Abso-fuckin-lutely. Control freak? Not so much. I hate micromanaging anyone. An Owner? Yes, I am M/s, and strictly. It's through the grounding of the protocols in the relationship, that the D/s dynamic emerges, in my relationship, so I'm strict about the protocols, and certain rituals, but that is to the benefit of keeping headspace for the slaves, even in our most laid-back moments.
So would I consider it rare? Meh... I guess maybe... I keep being surprised by people that find my IRC channel refreshing to come into, because most other channels are NOT strict or stringent with the protocols that I am strict with.
I think that it seems laid back, when you get used to it enough. Most of the time, the protocols just happen to be applied, even in the middle of normal conversation on the telephone or whatever.
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