RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (Full Version)

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RumpusParable -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (6/18/2009 9:40:07 AM)

For me, the draw isn't to the "watch me have sex and clean it up" type of cuckolding, but rather the "watch/help me get around or just know I can do with others if/when I want and you can't, then enjoy my happiness when I get home" type of cuckolding.  The mix of discomfort while sharing my happiness in past partners has been enjoyable for me. 

For me, it's less about humiliation and more about RHIP... another way to illustrate that we are at different levels in our power dynamic and that I'm the one with higher rank, and therefore more privileges.

I enjoy some humilation play, but this isn't a strong area for that with me... sex is such a joy, I want to come home and -while some discomfort in them is fun- share that joy I just had with someone else with the person at home, while with *them* at the same time enjoying an example of our D/s relationship.

I rather miss that all, as it's not part of my current relationship.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (6/18/2009 5:20:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

For me, the draw isn't to the "watch me have sex and clean it up" type of cuckolding, but rather the "watch/help me get around or just know I can do with others if/when I want and you can't, then enjoy my happiness when I get home" type of cuckolding.  The mix of discomfort while sharing my happiness in past partners has been enjoyable for me. 

For me, it's less about humiliation and more about RHIP... another way to illustrate that we are at different levels in our power dynamic and that I'm the one with higher rank, and therefore more privileges.

I enjoy some humilation play, but this isn't a strong area for that with me... sex is such a joy, I want to come home and -while some discomfort in them is fun- share that joy I just had with someone else with the person at home, while with *them* at the same time enjoying an example of our D/s relationship.

I rather miss that all, as it's not part of my current relationship.


(It is truly a wunnahful thing :) )



detroitsearcher -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (6/26/2009 9:23:06 AM)

there is much more going on with cuckolding that what appears on the surface.

this is a subject that gets people's imaginations going, since so much of it is head fuck, so way too much on the net is imagination / fiction.

the best writing about cuckolding is "scott & emma" who have a blog called mrs. emma's playhouse, and "scott" also writes on fet life as dee's boy. he is an advanced philosopher about all this, yes it is his turn on, but his insight is incredible.

there is an incredible film by tinto brass called "miranda", italian erotica, losely based on mozart's cuckolding opera "cosi fan tutte" (all ladies do it) which explains in an easily digestible and visually interesting erotic film what exactly the man gets out of being cuckolded: sexual heat from his partner like he hasn't felt before, or since they first met, but now they really know each other so it is worth much much more.

and also on your question for a permanent long term marriage and it benefits, it truly does allow a woman to step out side all the societal pressure she gets as a good wife, what society teaches about wifedom and motherhood - the sacrifice of self that can result in a feeling of a loss of self. well this is a kind of balance for that, allowing her to be a "liberated woman" for a moment. and for the man, it allows him to stop keeping her feminine energy boxed up and let her be her freely and let her hair down, allowing him to experience unbridled female energy, which is a main attraction to femdom.

what makes it femdom and not swinging is that she actually cares so much about his mental space that it becomes a strange dance. you can see in "scott's" writing how the counter intuitive happens: this can make couples closer, the couple has way better more fired up hormonally charged sex afterwards, that adds alot for both. somehow in "scott's" writing, even the wife denying her husband access to say her breasts, or ass, or whatever, for a period of time, can make the couple hotter for each other and add alot of long term sexual heat. a sacrifice that can be worth it for 2 people who really love each other and are honest and comfortable with each other. the bull is a temporary, the love of the married couple is forever. even if he feels loss, he will feel her come back to him. her burning feelings for the other eventually fade, and ultimately the couple is stronger for it. if its done healthily...



slavekal -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (6/27/2009 9:12:21 PM)

The reason I am on the internet on Saturday night is that Ms. Mlicious is cuckolding me all this weekend.  She has been with her newest lover all weekend.  Detroitsearcher is right.  It CAN bring a couple closer, and it can definitely bring the heat.  It is really hard to be a cuckold, but if your Mistress loves doing this to you, it can make her love you more for surrendering to her desires.



MidnightKat5000 -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (6/27/2009 9:25:27 PM)

Yet once again we have ANOTHER sub who suddenly disappears.  I don't get this.



idroolchicksrule -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (6/29/2009 3:09:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

For me, the draw isn't to the "watch me have sex and clean it up" type of cuckolding, but rather the "watch/help me get around or just know I can do with others if/when I want and you can't, then enjoy my happiness when I get home" type of cuckolding. 



After researching this topic and my attractions to it for the past few months you have summed up my perspective better than anyone else.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (6/29/2009 4:47:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: idroolchicksrule


quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

For me, the draw isn't to the "watch me have sex and clean it up" type of cuckolding, but rather the "watch/help me get around or just know I can do with others if/when I want and you can't, then enjoy my happiness when I get home" type of cuckolding. 



After researching this topic and my attractions to it for the past few months you have summed up my perspective better than anyone else.



Succinctly.

Perzakly.



TheLadyLola -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/5/2009 12:40:53 PM)

I'm very into this type of scenario, and participated in a cuckolding session recently. My sub was very satisfied and surprised by the intensity of the session.
As the Domme in the situation I enjoyed the desire felt for me by both of the male participants. Ok, maybe that's narcissistic, but it was very, very hot, too! ;) And the tease and denial, as well as humiliation and chastity, was very erotic.
I'm not really sure what's so difficult to understand about people's attractions to cuckolding, but maybe that's because I'm one of those people into it...



sissylover22 -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/5/2009 1:43:10 PM)

Me, I can take it or leave it unless I'm tied up and given the chance to watch.



MissDita -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/5/2009 2:11:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't do the making someone feel less... I tend to build people up... it goes against my whole life work to rip someone down emotionally.  Unless of course they have been bad, pissed me off really, really bad such as in doing something very wrong and I have no respect for them... then it is new ass hole time. hehe 


I loved cuckolding with My ex-slave and I loved to humiliate him, but meantime I made him feel very special. I guess it's an art. He felt loved and excited by being humiliated in that way. I knew that I was not making him feel 'inferior' at all, I was just putting him in a submissive state or even in subspace at times. And for Me it was very exciting to. Why did W/we love it? Because it creates a huge power exchange, more powerfull than any other D/s activity does.
It's really not about the sex, I didn't even had sex yet with others, or relationship didn't get the chance to evolve that far. (reasons outside of our relationship) But just knowing I have the right to do whatever I want, that I have that power was a turn-on for Me even though I'm normally monogamuous. Letting him prepare Me for a date with another interesting man, calling him during the date, letting him pick Me up, Telling him how decent, polite and charming the other man was. This was enough for a magical dynamic between us, I liked the power rush and he was put in a peacefull submissive state. When he came to pick Me up and noticed My good mood, he was so happy because the date made Me feel good. The fact is that I enjoyed going out for diner with a nice man (a way more experienced slave than My fiancé, someone who treated Me as a queen without Me having to train him), but actually I just really enjoyed the power and was burning with love for My ex-fiance. You shouldn't look at cuckolding as having sex with another man (or in My case only dating, but I would have gone further in time). It's just a means to an end. You have fysical sex with that man that means nothing to You (or not compaired with what you feel for Your partner), but you are having very intense mental sex with your own slave. Wich really creates a very deep bound.

I certainly don't think cuckolding is for all couples, it's a very very big risk and only to engage in a very steady and trusty relationship. And if it's not in the male fantasy, you just can't engage in it. It would be abuse, cheating and hurting your partner. But it would not be the D/s act of cuckolding wich is a means to put a slave into a submissive state (enjoyable for him) true intense humilliation.

So to the OP, if it's not a fantasy of yours it SHOULD be a hard limit. And I can assure you that really not many Mistresses are open for cuckolding. Cuckolds are having a hard time to find a Mistress that wants to engage in this. And you as a slave have every right to put a hard limit on this. D/s is not meant to scare someone emotionally for life.

And I only read the first responses, so sorry if what I stated, was already said.

greetings, Miss Dita



slavekal -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/5/2009 2:22:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I would dearly love to have the joy of cuckolding explained to me by those dominants who enjoy it.  I am not disgusted by it, but it's one of those things that I can't wrap my head around.  I lost out on an exceptional man because of that.  He explained HIS desire very clearly and sensibly, but I don't get the appeal.  Maybe because my poly heart doesn't grok it? 


Lady Hibiscus, talk to Ms. Mlicious and/or read her blog.  Cuckolding turns her on like nothing else can.  She always wanted this, even as a child, before she knew it had a name.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/6/2009 9:39:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

For me, the draw isn't to the "watch me have sex and clean it up" type of cuckolding, but rather the "watch/help me get around or just know I can do with others if/when I want and you can't, then enjoy my happiness when I get home" type of cuckolding.  The mix of discomfort while sharing my happiness in past partners has been enjoyable for me. 

For me, it's less about humiliation and more about RHIP... another way to illustrate that we are at different levels in our power dynamic and that I'm the one with higher rank, and therefore more privileges.

I enjoy some humilation play, but this isn't a strong area for that with me... sex is such a joy, I want to come home and -while some discomfort in them is fun- share that joy I just had with someone else with the person at home, while with *them* at the same time enjoying an example of our D/s relationship.

I rather miss that all, as it's not part of my current relationship.


It's a wonderful thing.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/6/2009 9:41:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyLola

I'm very into this type of scenario, and participated in a cuckolding session recently. My sub was very satisfied and surprised by the intensity of the session.
As the Domme in the situation I enjoyed the desire felt for me by both of the male participants. Ok, maybe that's narcissistic, but it was very, very hot, too! ;) And the tease and denial, as well as humiliation and chastity, was very erotic.
I'm not really sure what's so difficult to understand about people's attractions to cuckolding, but maybe that's because I'm one of those people into it...


That's extraordinarily beautiful.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/6/2009 9:46:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: I loved cuckolding with My ex-slave and I loved to humiliate him, but meantime I made him feel very special. I guess it's an art. He felt loved and excited by being humiliated in that way. I knew that I was not making him feel 'inferior' at all, I was just putting him in a submissive state or even in subspace at times. And for Me it was very exciting to. Why did W/we love it? Because it creates a huge power exchange, more powerfull than any other D/s activity does.
It's really not about the sex, I didn't even had sex yet with others, or relationship didn't get the chance to evolve that far. (reasons outside of our relationship) But just knowing I have the right to do whatever I want, that I have that power was a turn-on for Me even though I'm normally monogamuous. Letting him prepare Me for a date with another interesting man, calling him during the date, letting him pick Me up, Telling him how decent, polite and charming the other man was. This was enough for a magical dynamic between us, I liked the power rush and he was put in a peacefull submissive state. When he came to pick Me up and noticed My good mood, he was so happy because the date made Me feel good. The fact is that I enjoyed going out for diner with a nice man (a way more experienced slave than My fiancé, someone who treated Me as a queen without Me having to train him), but actually I just really enjoyed the power and was burning with love for My ex-fiance. You shouldn't look at cuckolding as having sex with another man (or in My case only dating, but I would have gone further in time). It's just a means to an end. You have fysical sex with that man that means nothing to You (or not compaired with what you feel for Your partner), but you are having very intense mental sex with your own slave. Wich really creates a very deep bound.

I certainly don't think cuckolding is for all couples, it's a very very big risk and only to engage in a very steady and trusty relationship. And if it's not in the male fantasy, you just can't engage in it. It would be abuse, cheating and hurting your partner. But it would not be the D/s act of cuckolding wich is a means to put a slave into a submissive state (enjoyable for him) true intense humilliation.

So to the OP, if it's not a fantasy of yours it SHOULD be a hard limit. And I can assure you that really not many Mistresses are open for cuckolding. Cuckolds are having a hard time to find a Mistress that wants to engage in this. And you as a slave have every right to put a hard limit on this. D/s is not meant to scare someone emotionally for life.

And I only read the first responses, so sorry if what I stated, was already said.

greetings, Miss Dita


You are so fucking sexy and your attitude is absolutely delicious.  I love what you just wrote.

Nice!

I would kill for you.

(Okay....maybe I wouldn't exactly kill for you.....but I'd maim small rabbits......)



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/6/2009 9:50:22 PM)

Very small rabbits.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/6/2009 9:52:02 PM)


Okay.....they wouldn't actually be rabbits.....(I couldn't actually do that)....but I'd kick small rodents....who scurried very fast.....to the curb.....



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/6/2009 9:54:17 PM)

Okay.....truth be told.....I'd have a hard time kicking rodents.....because they're fuzzy....and round....and furry....but I'd want to....(kick them, that is).....



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/7/2009 3:16:57 PM)

There shall be NO RODENT ABUSE of any kind here!!

Hib Sez.[>:]



GoddessSpitfire -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/11/2009 11:05:26 AM)

I am going to answer the question of the forum first, What is Dommes attraction to cuckolding? Well I find it attractive for many reasons. First of all, its a good way to make your relationship much stronger than you ever thought it could be. It spices up the doldrums of everyday life. I myself like to choose bi boys so we can share in the fun. I love having threesomes with my sub (when I have one that is). Its very attractive because it keeps things from becoming stale in your relationship. It also keeps him on his toes to be a better sub. What do you do if your into chastity and your in for a long punishment, let your Domme be sexually unsatisfied because you can seem to satisfy her in some way? Why should we be punished as well?

As for your second question, I think that most Dommes would just move on to the next sub if they werent interested. If this is a limit of yours and they cant respect it, would you really want to be with that Domme?

I also wanted to add that cuckolding isnt for everyone so although you dont like it you shouldnt disrepect others who are interested in it.



Irishfootboy -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/11/2009 4:17:03 PM)

Ive never experienced being cuckolded but from a subs point of view id love to try it mainly for the humiliation factor. It would be a huge fantasy of mine not for the Mistress and Bull to go out for a date, but for me to have to serve them dinner and drinks and wait on them for the night wearing only a collar. Also having to address the Bull as Sir or Master while being verbally and physically humiliated by them both in the process. Then when they are going to bed id have to kneel in the corner awaiting orders.

A hard limit for me would be forced-bi or getting ordered to lick the Bull clean but i would probably consider it as it would be total humiliation



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